Etiquette and Culture in Mayotte

While the monetary currency is the Euro, the real social currency is the art of politeness, which you will overwhelmingly experience through the sincere flood of smiles and the welcoming “Caribou”, leaving you feeling like a celebrity!

Karibu Maoré

Did you know that the European Union exists in the Mozambique Channel?  If so, you are one of the few who does, for this French overseas territory, Mayotte, composed of two major islands, is merely a speck on the map between Madagascar and Mozambique.  Born through volcanic eruptions and situated on ancient Arab and Portuguese trade routes, the tropical jewel of Mayotte, despite its 374km², attests to a wealth of history far greater than its size.

Believed to have been first inhabited in the 7^th century CE, Mayotte is heavily influenced by Swahili coast and Madagascan cultures.  The 9^th century saws the arrival of Arab and Persian traders, and Mayotte became a sultanate in 1500 founded upon the principles of Islam.  This usurped the tribal and matrilineal systems inherent in East African societies and the animist beliefs from both Swahili and Malagasy cultures.  

The French cast its gaze on Mayotte after losing its influence on Mauritius in 1814, hoping it would be a vital centre of trade like Malta. While ruled by the Malagasy Sultan Adriantsoly, Mayotte was heavily pillaged and damaged by successive Malagasy and Comorian razzias.  Adriantsoly sold Mayotte to the French on 25 April 1841 who officially ruled it from June 1843, making Mayotte French longer than France’s region of Savoy.

Today, the majority languages are spoken by 81% of inhabitants, Shimaoré (derived from Swahili), and Kibushi (the two Malagasy dialects are Kibushi sakalava and Kibushi antalaotsy, whose speakers are spread over twenty villages).  The Comorian languages of Shindzuwani and Shingazidja are also spoken widely. The use of French, the politico-administrative language, has been increasing especially since schools were built in the 1980s.  Of note, little English is spoken and the tourism sector is poorly developed in part due to insecurity concerns.  While the monetary currency is the Euro, the real social currency is the art of politeness, which you will overwhelmingly experience through the sincere flood of smiles and the welcoming “Caribou”, leaving you feeling like a celebrity!

 

Communicating in Mayotte

The Mahorais will delight in any efforts to speak one of their languages, although French will get you everywhere!  Here are some words and expressions to get you by:

As-salamu alaykum – Peace be upon you

Wa-alaykumu salam – Peace be upon you too

Karibu – Welcome

Jéjé – Hello     Kwezi – Hello (respectful, to adults and elders)

Jéjé monye – Hello mister, how are you?

Jéjé bweni – Hello lady, how are you?

Ndjema, marahaba – Good, thank you.

Ewa – Yes

Anhan – No

Halo! – Let’s go!

Tafadhali – Please

Marahaba nyengi – Thank you very much.

Hodi? – Is someone there?

Kwahéri – Good-bye

Ritsowonana – See you later

Asubuhi ndjema – Good morning

Uku mwéma – Good night

Suku yangina tséna – See you one day

Insh’Allah – God willing

 

The French cast its gaze on Mayotte after losing its influence on Mauritius in 1814, hoping it would be a vital centre of trade like Malta. While ruled by the Malagasy Sultan Adriantsoly, Mayotte was heavily pillaged and damaged by successive Malagasy and Comorian razzias.  Adriantsoly sold Mayotte to the French on 25 April 1841 who officially ruled it from June 1843, making Mayotte French longer than France’s region of Savoy.

Mahorais etiquette – what to know

Walking along the streets often lined with a rainbow of exuberant tropical flowers, palms and fruiting trees, several things are immediately noticeable. 

Firstly, the respect bestowed upon elders, who form an extremely small percentage of the population, and who are greeted effusively, actively listened to, given seats of honour, fed first, whose belongings are carried and needs effectively met.  

Secondly, the extraordinary number of children who exude a joie de vivre, spontaneously singing, dancing or playing with a cheeky grin.  

Thirdly, the bright traditional clothing and the attention women give to their appearance.  

Fourthly, the open body language – with direct eye contact, ready laughter or joke and the obligatory greeting of “Caribou” or “Bonjour”, you won’t pass by unnoticed.  

If you have the great honour of living a while in Mayotte, you will also notice the profound musada or sharing and caring in daily life, born of a communal society, as well as the limitless gratitude and fatality inherent in Islam.

In his book The Wisdom of my Ancestors (2012), Haladi Madi collects Mahorais proverbs to preserve their linguistic value but also to highlight how the mentality of Mayotte is partly anchored within the Bantu oral system of social education. 

Mahorais society is stratified by age, wealth and origins, and at the top are the chiefs who exert authority and notables who hold important roles in the villages, and who are deferred to.  

The Koranic school teachers, fundis, are also highly respected.  As in all African societies, elders are viewed as living libraries, possessing wisdom and practical know-how; an elderly man is politely called a bakoko and an elderly woman a koko.  

While there are plenty of proverbs concerning the roles and stereotypes around chiefs and notables, adults, men, women, children and illegitimate children, there are 623 alone relating to virtue and behaviour.  

The way Mahorais speak, dress, eat and relate to others is observed and commented upon.  Behaviour is taught at home and almost all children will attend Koranic schools, shionior madrasse, to attain the respect, adabu, required to integrate correctly into society.

When invited to a Mahorais home, you are not required to bring any gifts.  Instead, you should to bring a large shopping bag called a kalaga so you can take food and drink home with you! 

Take-home messages:

· Always greet people, even strangers passing you on the street and especially those who make eye contact.  A simple “Salam” or “Bonjour” will suffice.
· When speaking to people, remove your sunglasses as eye contact is essential.
· When invited to a Mahorais home, you are not required to bring any gifts.  Instead, you should to bring a large shopping bag called a kalaga so you can take food and drink home with you! 
· Take off your shoes before you enter a person’s home, village shop or mosque.  Kindergarten or primary school aged children remove their shoes before entering classrooms.  In mosques, wear long, loose clothing and women should wear a kishali, or scarf.  The highly tolerant Sunni Shafi’i school of Islamic jurisprudence is practiced.
· Wash your hands before and after eating, and avoid using your left hand to eat.  Thank the host for the food and say “Bismillah” before you eat to show gratitude. Elders are served first.  
· While cutlery is offered everywhere, many locals prefer to use their right hand to eat. 
· When visiting Mayotte, tourists can wear short dresses, t-shirts, shorts and sandals, and bathing suits and bikinis are only acceptable at the beach.
· While the Mahorais are very accepting of foreigners’ attire, when invited to a Mahorais home, men should wear trousers and women a long dress or long pants, especially during the month of Ramadan, when attire becomes more important.
· If invited to a foutari, the breaking of the Ramadan fast, foreigners are not expected to fast from dawn to dusk. However, it is common that wazungu (literally: white-skinned people) and other foreigners who live in Mayotte fast during Ramadan.
· Visitors and returning Mahorais residents are often greeted at the airport with floral necklaces made principally with jasmine and other flowers such as bougainvillea, ixora and palm leaves are often added.

• These floral necklaces are also given at specific work events, celebrations and farewells. The more floral necklaces the person wears, the more important he or she is.
• When invited to the Mahorais seaside social event vulé, bring food and drinks that you would like to share, for all items become communal.

Attire is relaxed and Mahorais men and women may wear shorts and t-shirts.  

Arrive early to help your hosts find the best spot on the beach to set up the braziers and to prepare the food. You can marinate the fresh fish and chicken wings called mabawas, skewer the beef, fish or chicken, cut the taro, breadfruit, manioc and green bananas for frying or grilling and to grate the green papaya, onions and tomatoes for the salad.  Bottled water, fresh juices (lime, tamarind, passion fruit, sakoua, papaya, corossol, pineapple, mango…), soft drinks and beer are often consumed in moderation.
·When invited to the marriage event called a manzaraka, men will be required to wear a shirt and trousers or a kanzu and women the traditional dress salouva. Men and women will be separated for the meal, songs, dances, the presentation of the bride, groom and the gifts.  Invitees should bequeath a minimum of €50 to the wedding party. A kalaga is essential, as each guest will be required to bring home an impressive amount of food and drinks!  
·Don’t refuse an invitation to visit the malavouni of a Mahorais host, for the Mahorais have a profound relationship with their land.  Most Mahorais will have a plot of land to grow their own fruit and vegetables and you might find yourself barefoot cutting pineapples, jackfruit, and bananas with a locally-made shomboor machete, pulling taro and manioc from the ground, plucking ambrevades or mangoes, chewing on sugar cane, and learning to cut coconut husks off to drink their refreshing young juice.
·Traditional dances, songs and boxing can happen just about anywhere, anytime, for any reason: debaa, m’biwi, mourengé, chigoma, daïra…  It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, your most important accessories will be your smile and interest to join in, dance, play instruments and have fun!  

Mayotte is an intriguing multicultural mix of Mahorais, Malagasy, Comorian, Indo-Pakistani Karane people, wazungu, Reunnionais and African asylum seekers from the Great Lakes region, who all influence the culture and society in specific ways. As the Mahorais say, “Mutru kalishi ya hale mana apara piya”: One doesn’t abandon the ancient for the new.  You can thus be assured that you will experience a traditional lifestyle, warmth, curiosity and hospitality in this exquisite jewel of French ultra-periphery that won’t leave you unmoved. 

For many years, our Travel Etiquette Guru and Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

www.auersmont.com 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Indian Food Culture

India’s food culture is monolithic. From the tip of the south to the very north, there are thousands of variations found in home-style cooking, restaurants’ specialities and street vendors, each will vary slightly across every state and region. I thought that over the years of patronizing Indian restaurants in Australia, I knew what to expect, gauging from the menu, but the enormity of choice outshines the Australian offerings. Once I lived in India, I realized Australian Indo-Pakistani restaurants taint food to be more palatable for the Western public and open to a wider paying audience.

Launched in 2002 and initiated by the Ministry of Tourism with the tagline “Incredible India,” featuring Bollywood actors such as Aamir Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, and Priyanka Chopra, the ads seduced people to travel to India, and they had quite an effect on me. It captivated my mind and tingled my taste buds. I couldn’t wait, I knew one day I would go…

India's food culture is monolithic. From the tip of the south to the very north, there are thousands of variations found in home-style cooking, restaurants' specialities and street vendors, each will vary slightly across every state and region. I thought that over the years of patronising Indian restaurants in Australia, I knew what to expect, gauging from the menu, but the enormity of choice outshines the Australian offerings. Once I lived in India, I realised Australian Indo-Pakistani restaurants taint food to be more palatable for the Western public and open to a wider paying audience.

Can Tourist Eat Street Food in India and is it Safe?

Street food is for the brave and adventurous. Food is never served plain and gloves are not used. Yes, there were times I got sick, and I recovered after a day or two. Whilst living in Mumbai, I appreciated the small stalls on the side of the street. I would visit regulars who knew me by name.

Please note: if you feel that eating street food, as described below, may put your health at risk, go to a reputable day restaurant and order the same meals there, which will be more expensive but just as good. Also, each restaurant or street vendor – wala, has its own family recipe and it will vary state to state or even street to street. Good street stalls are only open for a few hours, so ask locals for recommendations.

What is the Most Popular Street Food in Mumbai?

How did I initially go about approaching these stalls by myself? I would wait till people were milling about the wala. If there were a fair number of people, I knew it was ‘hygienic enough’ and would watch the food he was serving, how he served it and how people ate the dish. I would approach and point to a person’s food or point to the picture that was wrapped around his cart.

Breakfast

Samosa or Vada Pav: this is a fried vegetarian samosa or vada pav, a fried potato patty placed into a very soft bread roll with two types of chutneys – coriander and mint: savory and tamarind: sweet. Once the wala puts the samosa into the bread roll, he may hand it to you on a recycled newspaper with one or two fried whole chilli. This is definitely finger food, no etiquette required.

Chai or Coffee: chai is tea in Hindi. Boiled tea with milk and sugar, with a dash of ginger, is served so hot that you have to wait for it to cool down. You will be given tea in small medicine-type cups on the street. If you are in a rush, you will have to blow on it to cool it down. You may be provided a pottery cup without handles, wrap a serviette around it so you are able to drink from it because of the heat. In restaurants, you can be given a brass Dabara Set, which is a handleless cup with a tumbler. You can pour your coffee or tea, instead of blowing on it into the tumbler, then back into your cup and over again until it cools. You can also drink from the tumbler. I’ve seen Aunties and Uncles pouring their chai from their handleless cup to their saucer, drinking their cooled tea from their saucer.

Lunch

Pav Bhaji: fresh, thick spicy vegetable curry served with a soft buttered bread roll. This dish is put into a tray, and you will use the bread to pick up the fresh curry to eat. You will tear a piece of bread using the ‘La Scarpetta' method, which means using the bread like a shoe, ‘walking’ across the tray, cleaning up the star of the meal. Sit down while eating this simple yet tasty meal. If you have finished your bread roll, you can ask for another or ask for a spoon to eat the last remnants of curry.

Dosa: is an ultra-thin, crunchy, savoury batter bread made from a fermented batter of ground black gram and rice. Dosas are served hot with a filling inside. You can choose the filling to be vegetarian or paneer. The dosa will come with side dishes such as coconut chutney and sambar. Sambar is a tangy lentil vegetable stew. You break a piece of dosa with its filling, dipping it into the sambar or chutney before eating. This is a meal you need to sit down as you will need the space and definitely you will be eating with your fingers. You will be laughed at for using a fork and a knife. I’ve been in five-star hotels where I have seen celebrities and the rich of India use their fingers to eat these delicious dishes.

Afternoon Tea

Bombay Sandwich: is flat white sliced bread with thinly sliced layered vegetables like potatoes, beetroot, tomatoes, onions, and cucumber with a spread of spicy green chutney, then toasted. This is a great food to eat standing up or while on the run. It will be wrapped in yesterday's newspaper or pages from a kids' workbook. I loved this street food as it was just what I needed, replacing lunch without spending too much time in a restaurant or cooking for myself at home.

Before Dinner

Pani Puri: is a disc that, when it is deep-fried, becomes a shell, hollowed out for a filling such as potatoes or chickpeas, and dipped in flavoured sauces such as coriander and mint and sweet tamarind sauce. Depending on the wala, he will provide approx. Six to seven rounds and will serve up to three to four people at a time, taking it in turns to fill each puri and serve it to you, with it filled with sauces on a foil bowl, which you eat instantly whole using your fingers, bringing the bowl to your mouth. Your fingers will become wet, the wala will provide you with a napkin. The last puri served will be dry, to indicate to you that the meal is over.

Bhelpuri: is a savoury snack or chaat, made of puffed rice, crunchy puris, peanuts and sev, which are layered with ingredients such as potato and onion, tomato and topped with chutneys such as coriander and tamarind chutney. You can eat this standing around the food station, using a spoon or a flat papdi, which is a round cracker. This is a snack you would have before dinner, which would be served around 8-9 pm at night. Happy Eating!

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Culture in Uganda

It was obvious that I had I glossed over the Ugandan section when sightseeing in Kampala. Here are some etiquette points I learnt when staying in home-stays around Uganda, so you don’t have to discover them the hard way.

One of my favourite travel books to prepare to travel through any country was, and still is, Lonely Planet. It was obvious that I had I glossed over the Ugandan section when sightseeing in Kampala. Here are some etiquette points I learnt when staying in home-stays around Uganda, so you don’t have to discover them the hard way.

One of the scariest moments of traveling to Uganda was the markets… walking through Kampala’s Owino Market or St. Balikuddembe Market. There was no warning. There was no written etiquette guide. It was 'baptism by fire'. Like SpaceX, we blasted off into the crowds we entered by squeezing ourselves down the thin corridors. Locals were on a mission, buying, selling, and negotiating fast and furious. As we tried to push further into the surging crowds, the yelling and pushing started: ‘get out’, ‘go away’. We made a 15-second decision to turn around and leave the chaos behind.

How to Show Friendliness in Uganda

You can greet in three languages, take your pick: English, Swahili or Luganda. In Swahili (also called Kiswahili — which can be used in over ten African countries), while simultaneously smiling and nodding, say “hello” by saying “jambo” in Swahili.

If you wish to say “hello” in Luganda, you say “oli otya,” and if the local offers a hand out for a handshake, to show extra respect or courtesy, it is customary to place your left hand on your right forearm or elbow while shaking hands with your right hand. Men will take time shaking and women may do the same, indicating familiarity and friendship. A woman may just do a head nod to acknowledge your presence and greet.

For many African cultures, eye contact is an unnecessary rule, unlike its Western counterparts. So, when speaking to a Ugandan, they may look elsewhere. Don’t be put off, keep on talking, you will get a reply to your answer. Pointing at people can be seen as rude and off-putting.  

Always use your hand, palm facing the ground, when talking and expressing yourself. Uganda, of course, respects its elders and has a language to acknowledge this. For an elderly man, you can use “mama, tata, ssebo”and for an elderly woman, “nnyabo”.

I found the food very interesting and very healthy in Uganda. You will be served root vegetables, legumes and various meats, including fish.

Know What to Do When Dining in Uganda

I found the food very interesting and very healthy in Uganda. You will be served root vegetables, legumes and various meats, including fish. Due to the migration of Chinese (1960s) and Indians (1890s), who set up stores, and worked on the railways, an indelible mark was left on Ugandan food culture by way of their use of spices, curries, noodles, rice, dumplings and soy sauce.

You will find in a traditional Ugandan household that men and teenage boys are assisting in other jobs around the house rather than in the kitchen. Families will eat twice a day, drinking tea and porridge or pieces of bread (bread tends to be soft and sweet), then the two main meals will be lunch and dinner. As a side point, Uganda grows its own teas and served with milk and sugar. Surprisingly, Uganda is the biggest exporter of coffee and it’s the younger ‘café generation’ and business-types who drink coffee today.

Before sitting down on floor mats neatly arranged on the floor to dine, you will need to wash your hands and visit the restroom. Actually, most restaurants will have a sink at the entrance to wash your hands before selecting a table and ordering. Food will be offered and served by the females of the family, putting food on your plate, and waiting for your host to start. Please be mindfully conscious to not waste food and eat as much as you can.

Ugandans are spiritual people and you will find on a Sunday that modestly dressed families and individuals will be catching a bus to their nominated church with a Bible in hand. Therefore, praying before eating will occur. 

 When dining in someone’s home, you may be given a spoon, or you have the option of using your fingers, as though you were in India. Never lean over food to grab salt, cutlery or more food. That is seen as rude and uncouth. Politely ask for what you need and you will be served. All items you are given will be given with the right hand. At the end of your meal, you will be provided with a glass of water or another beverage to finish the meal. 

Dessert is not any Western-type traditional cake or pastries. Ugandan dessert comes in the form of healthy palette refreshers. These can range from pawpaw to pineapple to bananas, mangos, jackfruit or even soursop. Soursop is described as an acidic custard apple, with a white fibrous fleshy interior. It is said to have a sweet-tart flavor, with creamy pulp which tastes like a mix of strawberry, citrus and pineapple. It’s very healthy and a fruit everyone should try!

 A point to remember is that it is disrespectful to leave the dining area while others are still eating. Respect your host and stay in the dining quarters until the end of the meal. It's not uncommon to talk about your day during the meal; however, one should always compliment the chef after the meal.  Before standing up to depart the company, you can say, “webale nnyo”. This means, “thank you very much”.

Enjoy your time in Uganda, people are very polite and considerate. The sites in Uganda’s beautiful mountains, highlands, lakes, national parks and wildlife areas can be breathtaking! Remember though, you will need guides to trek in those areas. Oh, and don’t forget to hire a guide for the inner-city markets!

Weeraba bulungi! (Or “goodbye and farewell!”)

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth can currently be found in Melbourne Australia and on numerous social media sites.

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette in Vietnam

In Vietnamese, ‘khiêm’ means humble or modest behaviour. Be mindful that Vietnamese etiquette does not automatically translate into Western etiquette, nor are they similar. Westerners are taught that using polite language, such as ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re welcome’, is used when showing respect however, in Vietnamese this may translate to arrogance and is deemed unnecessary. So, don’t be surprised when ‘I’m sorry’ may not be used.

My introduction to Vietnam and the Vietnamese people began in my early teenage years. In Melbourne, two suburbs recreated a shopping scene reminiscent of the energy and bustle of Ho Chi Minh City. These areas were alive with daily commerce, storefronts filled with colour, and restaurants serving traditional foods.

Since the Vietnam War, the influx of Vietnamese into Australia has existed for over 40 or more years. I loved frequently shopping and eating in Little Vietnam in Melbourne and Sydney, absorbing its food and people culture. Eventually, I had the pleasure of traveling to Vietnam, starting from the north and making my way to the south. Here is what I learnt.

What You Will See in Vietnam

As you walk through streets, laneways, and peer through gated houses and step into businesses, you will see mirrors above front doors, below by the door's side, red coloured alters or you might see fresh fruit or fake money, which are symbolic offerings to dead ancestors that will be later burned.

Traditionally, the Vietnamese are superstitious, and you will see each morning many attend altars dedicated to appeasing the gods, and families of long ago, deflecting the devil and bad spirits, praying to bring ‘good luck’ into their lives and their family’s lives. Other items of a religious nature that you need to understand are that there are lucky and unlucky numbers and colours, as well as pregnancy taboos that the Vietnamese take very seriously.

Be mindful of not stepping over or on an altar that lies on the ground or touching items such as incense sticks that don’t belong to you. When entering religious places, follow the directions of the gatekeepers, such as taking your shoes off, wearing appropriate clothing, taking your hat off your head and using silence when watching those worshiping.

‘Khiêm’ Vietnamese for Polite Etiquette

In Vietnamese, ‘khiêm’ means humble or modest behaviour. Be mindful that Vietnamese etiquette does not automatically translate into Western etiquette, nor are they similar. Westerners are taught that using polite language, such as ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re welcome’, is used when showing respect however, in Vietnamese this may translate to arrogance and is deemed unnecessary. So, don’t be surprised when ‘I’m sorry’ may not be used.

Learn Greetings to Use While Travelling

The Vietnamese language is a complicated one as it’s a tonal language and a tone mispronounced could confuse locals as to understanding you however, using a few Vietnamese words might open doors. Below you will see that greetings are different for those who are elderly, young, or close to your age. Vietnamese people are deeply rooted hierarchical society based on seniority and age.

• Elder Male: Ông, 
• Elder Female: Bà, 
• Older Male: Anh, 
• Older Female: Chị, 
• Younger Person: Em, 
• Younger Service Staff: Em ơi or 
• Older service staff: Anh/Chị ơi, 
• A friend: Bạn ơi.
• How old are you? Bao nhiêu tuổi? 

or similar question…

• Are you healthy?: “Khỏe không?” 
• If you’re not sure about the age of the person you are speaking to, use a pronoun one level higher to address them.

When using the greeting with elders, you should initiate the greeting as the elderly will wait and stare until you do. When you want to display deep respect, you can shake someone’s hand with both hands. Greeting a female, a bow or nod of acknowledgment is used however, before you offer your hand, wait till they extend their hand, or they might not. Men greet each other with a nod or, for business, a handshake.

Eat Like a Native Vietnamese

If you think that you have dined at enough Vietnamese restaurants and, through observation, understand all that you need to know about dining culture, well, you might have missed these unspoken protocols.

Don’t just plonk yourself down anywhere, wait to be escorted to where you will sit, whether it is on the ground or the table. The reason for this is that hierarchy plays a role in who sits where and when. The eldest person sits down first, then the oldest, and then the youngest diners. Another sign of respect is waiting for everyone to arrive at the table, then being seated, the oldest person to proceed eating first and everyone thereafter.

Vietnamese meals are served family style, where all types of dishes are placed in the middle of the table, and everyone is obliged to help themselves with cutlery from each dish to their bowl. Never use your chopsticks or fork to eat directly from the serving dishes. You too can have a part by passing dishes around using both of your hands.

Unlike Western dining, where you eat from dinnerware that is on the table, in the Vietnamese style, you can lift the bowl close to your mouth, leaving it on the table can be interpreted as a sign of laziness. I find it refreshing to hold the bowl to eat from. You may find that your host may serve meat or may offer a vegetarian meal. If your host serves seafood such as fish, once served on your plate, the fish remains on your plate and is never turned over. This may invoke superstitious images of a fisherman’s boat capsizing.

Use chopsticks with respect. From the earliest historical Chinese and Japanese records, chopsticks were used for funerary and religious purposes and eventually migrated to the table, especially during the time of Confucius, curbing violence at the table with daggers. Never wave the chopsticks around while you are talking, point with them, or stick them upright in your bowl. Chopsticks are only for personal eating, use only.

If your host serves seafood such as fish, once served on your plate, the fish remains on your plate and is never turned over. This may invoke superstitious images of a fisherman’s boat capsizing.

A good Vietnamese host will try to ply you with lots of food. To kindly decline, place your hand or lay the chopsticks over your bowl and thank the host and state that you are satisfied. Make sure there is no food left in your bowl, as it may be seen as careless wastage, which could have been consumed by someone else later that day. Please help the host in clearing the table before drinks are served at the end of the dining event.

I hope these tips and tricks from my time in Vietnam help you when visiting the country, joining close friends, or accepting an invitation to dine at a Vietnamese restaurant. It is one of my favourite places to visit as people are kind and respectful, and the food is just amazing.

Happy travels and tạm biệt – goodbye.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth can currently be found in Melbourne Australia and on numerous social media sites.

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Customs of Fiji

If a younger generation wants to display respect to the older generation, then a nod with a greeting or introduction will be used. In rural areas, communities are close and when walking by, an acknowledgement must be used. When greeting Westerners, the Fijians can be quite shy, men may extend their hand to shake, women, instead of body contact, they will use their native greetings.

When people hear the name of Fiji, images are conjured in their minds of an exotic and colorful tropical island. The images one conjures up are quite justifiable, as what you are thinking of is what you will get. Fiji is very close to Australia, taking only 4-5 hours from the east coast. When you land, you are met by happy faces, men and women in their traditional clothing, flowers gently tucked between the ear and hair. The smell of seawater fills the air, while the sun warms your skin.

Fiji, which resides in the Melanesian region, is an archipelago of more than 300 islands. The official languages spoken are Fijian, English, and Fiji Hindi. It has had quite a history. Europeans made contact with Fiji in 1643; later on, it was discovered that Fiji had ideal conditions for growing cotton, which was useful as the American Civil War had cut off the supply to the international market. From 1878, indentured laborers were brought from islands around Fiji and India to cultivate the sugarcane crops.

Greeting Etiquette in Fiji

When you walk from the plane into the airport, one word you will see written is ‘Bula’, which means hello or welcome. In urban areas, you will perform the western type greeting with a handshake or a quick wave with an introduction. Those who are native Fijian men will also gently shake and take their time when doing it. Those who are of Indian origin will use the traditional ‘Namaste’ with pressed prayer hands.

Native Fijian women will greet each other differently, they could use the air kiss, while pressing cheek to cheek. However, it becomes different if there is deep respect between the two women, where one will put their nose next to the other person’s cheek and nose, then breathe in. An Indian woman may use the pressed prayer hands or lean into a hug or both.

If a younger generation wants to display respect to the older generation, then a nod with a greeting or introduction will be used. In rural areas, communities are close and when walking by, an acknowledgement must be used. When greeting Westerners, the Fijians can be quite shy, men may extend their hand to shake, women, instead of body contact, they will use their native greetings.

Fijian View of Time

When on the mainland, I couldn’t believe how proud the Fijians were when it came to interpreting time…There was a saying, ‘Fiji Time!’. It wasn’t until I travelled around the islands that I completely understood ‘Fiji Time’. They are not only shy people at times also very relaxed. Their sense of time is fluid, they believe things happen when they happen. Conversely, those that are Indo-Fijian are more on par with Western timing and the emphasis is on punctuality.

Dining Traditional Style in Fiji

From 1830 onwards, missionaries came in from proselytising in Tonga and Tahiti, to Fiji and converted natives. Due to this, many, before meals are eaten, will pray or bless the meal. You will be sitting on mats and cross-legged while eating your meal. Eating is done together and no one will be left alone eating by themselves. Today, families will have spoons, forks and knives, however, it is very common to eat with your fingers. Talking, laughing while eating is encouraged, being loud and rowdy is frowned upon. If you are in rural areas is best to be dressed appropriately, where shoulders and knees are covered for women. Please note that there is a distinction between resorts and travelling openly. Whilst traveling from Suva to Nadi, I had the wonderful privilege eating sparkling fresh local produce and mouthwatering curries.

Fiji – A Destination Holiday

I am fairly certain that Fiji is on many people's list of places to travel to, and it was on mine. It is everything that glossy magazines display and more. It not only offers crystal blue lagoons and snorkeling, viewing the most brightly colored coral reefs and tropical fish, but it is also a place to soak in native traditions, enjoy kind and relaxed hospitality, and an opportunity to learn about exotic foods and meet those whose generations call Fiji their home.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth can currently be found in Melbourne Australia and on numerous social media sites.

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia