Etiquette and Gilded Age Polish

Aiming for polished perfection, daughters of wealthy parents are often sent to what are called "finishing schools."

Where Girls Are "Polished"

When the daughters of wealthy parents have completed their ordinary routine of studies at school, they are often sent to what are called finishing schools, where they are polished. There are a number of these schools in the larger cities. 

Do not suppose that at these institutions of learning: the girls are taught such common-place things as arithmetic, geography or practical studies of the ordinary sort. "Book learning" is practically omitted from the curriculum, being retained only so far as is necessary for the acquirement of knowledge indispensable to one who aspires to be a good conversationalist on the ordinary topics talked of in society.

The chief studies are languages, much proficiency in French being required, and a general smattering of French, English and German literature is also taught with the aid of books. In spite of the fact that only wealthy girls attend the schools, an atmosphere of comparative simplicity pervades most of them.

At one of the most exclusive in New York, French candies are almost unknown, and there is strict discipline, with very limited spending money, so that the attention of those to be polished may not be diverted from the serious matters In hand. Really, the discipline at this school is so strict that many of the girls, who have been petted and pampered all their lives, soon grow tired of it and abandon the school.

When once a girl becomes accustomed to the discipline of the school, however, she is usually loth to leave. Their food is of the best and is cooked by a French chef. They visit every theatrical attraction worth seeing and occupy a box at the opera almost nightly during the season; this round of gayety being varied during Lent by the organization of sewing classes, where they work for charity. 

Extravagance in dress is also tabooed. Each girl is allowed to have with her just five dresses when she enters in October. These dresses are two high neck evening dresses, two for everyday wear, and one for the street. The street dress must be suitable to wear to matinees and church, while the everyday gowns are worn indoors, except in the evening, when the evening dresses must be donned for dinner. The first step, therefore, is to teach the young women to ignore dress and make it subordinate to manners and accomplishments, which is one of the most difficult things for those not born to the purple to learn. 

As for spending money, no girl is allowed to have a greater allowance than $5 a month, out of which they must pay their car fares and buy pins, ribbons and other trifles. This prevents the eating of too much candy, which would be bad for the complexion. 
                                                                 

At one of the most exclusive in New York, French candies are almost unknown, and there is strict discipline, with very limited spending money, so that the attention of those to be polished may not be diverted from the serious matters In hand. 

The girls occupy separate, well furnished rooms, opening on a general parlor, which is shared by three or four pupils. The course of instruction occupies a year. First, the girl is taught how to walk down stairs, enter a room and say "How do you do?" How to greet an old friend and how to greet strangers; when to rise and when to remain seated; how to enter a carriage and how to alight; the etiquette of a carriage, how to drive, and the like. This work will be sufficient to occupy the first quarter, for it is by no means so simple a thing as it seems. 

During the second quarter is taught the etiquette of dining, how to preside as hostess, how to act as guest; how to enter a dining room with an escort, and the entire art of dining well, either as hostess or guest. A smattering of ceramics, so that the student may be able to critically examine china, is incidental to this course. 

Next comes Instruction in the etiquette of dances and other social functions. She is taught what to wear and how to act under every conceivable circumstance. The last quarter is devoted to the study of fashions in millinery and dresses of the day, together with instructions upon the leading, recent events in society and a thorough knowledge of the names of people who constitute society all the world over. 

When a young woman has completed such a course of training she is able to take her place in any circle. Unless she is naturally very stupid, she knows all there is of polite usage, and if she is very bright, and is backed by family and wealth, she may be a leader of society some day.—San Francisco Call, 1912

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Etiquette and Finishing Schools

Traditional finishing schools in Switzerland may be a thing of the past, but one is holding out successfully - and has a controversial plan to expand its recruitment.

The Swiss Finishing School That Refuses to be Finished

In an elegant villa high above Lake Geneva, a dozen or so young women are painstakingly learning to eat an orange - with a knife and fork. The trick is to section the orange carefully, removing the peel so that it ends up looking like a flower, leaving behind a perfect orange ready for eating. There should be no sound from the cutlery or the plates. And all the while, says teacher Rosemary McCallum, "you should continue making polite conversation with your neighbour".

These are the eager students at what school principal Viviane Neri describes as "Switzerland's, and possibly Europe's, last finishing school". The formidable Madame Neri inherited the Institute Villa Pierrefeu from her mother, and over the decades has seen her school continue to thrive, while nearly all the other traditional finishing schools - once so common in Switzerland - gradually closed. "We were never the kind of school where girls practised walking downstairs with books on their heads," explains Mme Neri. "They don't just go skiing all winter and learn a bit of typing here." Instead, Mme Neri's curriculum is primarily "international protocol and etiquette". "We teach mainly etiquette, what we call hostessing - which is really the French 'art de recevoir': how to be a good hostess, table service, table decoration, floral art, home management, cooking and so on."

The women at the Villa Pierrefeu range in age from 18 to over 50, and come from many different countries, including India, the United States, Saudi Arabia, China, and Lebanon. Sonom from India describes herself as a businesswoman and adds: "I'm going to be very successful". She believes the lessons from the Villa Pierrefeu will help her achieve that success. Najate is a 30-year-old university lecturer from Lebanon. She wants to expand her existing courses in business studies to include elements of protocol and etiquette, and is hoping the Villa Pierrefeu curriculum will give her some tips. And Carol, from the United States, wants to support her husband, who has a successful business career which involves a great deal of entertaining.

Their day begins with a lecture from Mme Neri on protocol. It soon becomes clear that, for some people, seating your guests at dinner can be a worryingly complicated affair. Where should you put the second son of a duke, for example? Is he more important than a daughter? Which country's ambassador takes precedence? (And the answer to that is not, in fact, the ambassador with which your country enjoys the best relations, but the ambassador who has been longest in the post.)

Later, the girls head for a "tricky foods" lesson with etiquette teacher Rosemary McCallum. Here, again, what seems obvious is often not so. "You eat hard cheese with a knife and fork," explains Ms Mc Callum. "You must never put a piece of hard cheese on a slice of bread and make a sandwich out of it. Soft cheese you can spread, but just break off a small piece of bread - oh, and mozzarella's a soft cheese, but that you eat with a knife and fork. "It's really not all that complicated."

'Polite Conversation'

And once they have mastered the cheese etiquette, along with other skills such as flower arranging, and dressing for a formal dinner, the girls put it all into practice at a mock dinner in which half take the roles of men, and half of women. Each has a profile, and those playing the women, in particular, are expected to make conversation.

"Steer clear of the taboo subjects," reminds Ms McCallum. And what are they? "Religion, politics, sex - and money is usually a difficult one, too." Those who imagine that such a list of forbidden topics might lead to a tedious conversation would be right. The girls themselves clearly believe they are learning something useful. "We've been taught how to dress appropriately," says Jessica, from London. "And how to eat correctly, how to have polite conversation. It's a good experience, to know how to behave better." So was her behaviour bad before? "No, but you can just hold yourself better, and if you're at a dinner party you know what you should and shouldn't be saying."

$20,000 Bargain

Some might argue that these are not things most people need to pay good money for. But of course, these girls are not most people: they come from the world's wealthiest families, and it is clear many of them believe the institute's fee of $20,000 (£12,860) to spend six weeks in one of the most beautiful regions of Switzerland, and acquire a little social polish at the same time, is a bargain.

Meanwhile, Mme Neri, staying true to her goal of keeping her school open and thriving while those around her close their doors, has grand plans for the future. In the 21st Century, she reveals, good manners need not be a uniquely feminine skill. "I think soon, we'll probably open up to men also," she announces. "The men used to learn these things in officer school, and we have been asked by many men why we don't give courses for them also, so I think yes, we will probably do that in the near future." So, perhaps as soon as next year, Switzerland's last traditional finishing school will take the radical step of becoming co-educational. Meanwhile, the girls are still struggling with those oranges. "It's hard work," says Sonom. "But you get used to it." – 2012, Imogen Foulkes, Geneva for BBC News 

Originally published in The Local, by Catherine McLean and portions of an article for BBC News by By Imogen Foulkes, Geneva

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