Etiquette of Washington DC Hostesses

“The job of hostess to the Vice President-elect was filled. Possibly spurred on by applications from eager ladies (‘I didn't know whether they wanted to marry me or hire out to me’), Alben Berkley named his daughter, Mrs. Max Truitt.” ~ TIME Magazine, November 29, 1948 – Image of “Mrs. Max Truitt” from Truman Library. gov

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The Vice President’s daughter was always referred to as “Mrs. Max Truitt” in the press, as at that time, married women were always referred to as “Mrs.” Followed by the names of their husbands. That rule was not relaxed until 30 years later when the “Guidelines for News-writing about Women,” was compiled by Stanford University Women’s News Service and released and circulated to media outlets and to women’s groups in 1978. It took another 30 years or more for it to become commonplace in many parts of the United States. ‘“Prefixes indicating marital status should be avoided.” Why? What about the woman who is proud to be Mrs. John Doe, along with any other accomplishments?’ lamented one Southern California, female journalist at the time.

‘Dolly-Alice’ Social Row May Disappoint Ladies of Washington D.C.

CAPITAL HOSTESSES, who haven't enjoyed a good social row since the days of Dolly Gann and Alice Longworth's spat over who should sit where at dinner, have been glowing with anticipation over the problem of who will be Vice President Barkley's official hostess, and where she will rank at official dinners. Vice President Barkley, like Vice President Charlie Curtis, is a widower. That was why Curtis' half-sister, Mrs. Edward Everett Gann, was made his official hostess.

And it was the question of whether the vice president's sister or the wife of Speaker Longworth preceded the other at dinner which threw social Washington into such a hubbub during the Hoover administration. However, Alben Barkley may disappoint the ladies. Alben is not averse to going out to dinner. In fact, he is in great demand. But he doesn't relish social rows.

Furthermore, his counterpart is also single Speaker-to-be Sam Rayburn. Close friends, Sam and Alben have been going out together as widowers for so long that the idea of their rowing over protocol brings smiles to those who know them.

Barkley Sam was married once, so Rayburn long ago that most people think he was always a bachelor. He has no official hostess and doesn't intend to have one. Barkley says he’s had a “number of applicants” for the Job, but if he needs an official hostess, he will draft his daughter, gracious Mrs. Max Truitt. — By Drew Pearson for The Minneapolis Star, Nov 18, 1948

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Journalistic Etiquette and “Mrs.”

 

The first sentence is: “Prefixes indicating marital status should be avoided.” Why? What about the woman who is proud to be Mrs. John Doe, along with any other accomplishments? What about the still unchanged etiquette rule that a married woman is Mrs. John Doe from the moment of marriage until death, unless she divorces or remarries? – Polyester Pantsuits for Women... Hallmarks of the 1960’s and 1970’s Women’s Liberation Movement

“No Phony Titles, Please”

I object! At the risk of having to burrow deeper and longer than the traditional groundhog, I will stand by my convictions and object to the “Guidelines for Newswriting about Women,” compiled by Stanford University Women’s News Service and being circulated by the League of Women Voters, Palm Springs Area. The first sentence is: “Prefixes indicating marital status should be avoided.” Why? What about the woman who is proud to be Mrs. John Doe, along with any other accomplishments? 

What about the still unchanged etiquette rule that a married woman is Mrs. John Doe from the moment of marriage until death, unless she divorces or remarries? It goes on: “A later reference should include last name only.” What about a newspaper’s individual style? A newspaper, like a smoker, has a few rights left, too. It is not The Desert Sun’s style to refer to a woman, a lady, or a girl as just “Doe.” I pray we never do.

In another section is the request (or is it an order?) that: ‘‘If you would not say, ‘The gray-haired grandfather of 3 won the Nobel Prize,' do not say, ‘The grayhaired grandmother of 3 won the Nobel Prize.’ ” Now, listen here. I am a gray-haired grandmother of two (newspapers use letters up to 10), the mother of two, the wife of one, and if I ever win the Nobel Prize (after this piece it won’t be for peace) I want all the data there. 

Along with the facts that I have been a news reporter and editor (Oh, God, don’t make me say “editress”) for 30 years, a homemaker, seamstress, cook, cleaning lady and loving wife for nearly 40 years. In addition, while handling a full time job I was a Boy Scout den mother and a Camp Fire leader. If I win any prize I want the public to know, that regardless of what it says, I won it for juggling. 

I object again to the mandate: “ ‘Man,’ used alone and in words like ‘chairman,’ is a sexually exclusive term and should be avoided when at all possible.’’ What about mankind? Are we going to change that to “person-kind?” Thank God, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon when he did. I’d have died if he had said, “ . . , one giant leap for person-kind.” 

Are we going to “person the pumps?” Call manikins “personikins?” Commit “person-slaughter?” Don’t you ever call my manx cat a “personx.” And let’s not forget man-eating sharks. Science has never found them to be discriminating. To lessen the fears of sons, and husbands they should definitely become “person-eating sharks,” the same for tigers. 

What about women with the last name of Mann? Should they petition to change it to Person? That means changing Hoffman to Hoffperson and can you imagine Milt and Evelanne Heyperson? According to the “Guidelines,” the U.S. Bureau of the Census has begun officially changing its occupation titles to eliminate sexism. Salesmen are now sales workers or sales agents, newsboys are newspaper carriers and airline stewardesses are now flight attendants. Well, what else can you expect in this day of Federalese and gobbledegook where a garbage collector is a sanitation engineer and being “affiliated with a chemical company” in truth means a fertilizer salesman, excuse me, fertilizer sales agent. 

After years in the working world, I believe in equal pay for equal work, community property, joint tenancy and other sensible strides, but I don’t want to be called, as the “Guideline” states: “ ‘Feminist’ is the correct term for a woman committed to equal rights for women” and that “ ‘Women's libber’ is unacceptable,” I don’t want to be called either of these. I’m a woman, proud of it; just call me Mrs. Charles A. Turner or Lisa Turner. No stupid titles, please. – By Lisa Larson Turner, Desert Living Editor, Desert Sun, 1978

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia