Summer Attire Etiquette

On Summer Dressing: 

Don’t do that. Do this instead...

This article is part of Polished Professioals, “Don’t do that. Do this instead” series.

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…” 

Early 20th C. Beach Attire

The rest of this lyric is “Fish are jumpin’, and the cotton is high”**.  And no where is cotton (rayon, spandex, denim…you name it) higher than in summertime.

Before I begin, I would like to make a few things clear:

This is NOT a post about: how you dress for a picnic or a night out.
This IS a post about: our work lives and the perception of professionalism.

Strip down to the ‘bare’ essentials: 

DON’T DO THAT

When the temperatures and humidity start to soar the temptation to rid ourselves of all (or almost all) our clothes is understandable. The mere idea of being constrained in long sleeves, closed shoes or trousers is enough to make us hot and bothered.  However tempting it is to don your shorts and flip-flops and head to the office, don’t.

DO THIS INSTEAD: Find a balance

I know it can be tricky to find a balance between keeping cool and looking professional but trust me, it’s worth it.

Comfort vs. Credibility

I notice, every year, that many people use the excuse of summer, and hot weather, not just to wear fewer and/or cooler clothes but to abandon dress-sense entirely.   I know it’s hot, and I know that much of our more professional clothing can be restrictive. However, are you prepared to gain comfort at the risk of losing credibility?

The impact that our clothing has, both on those around us and ourselves, is something I find fascinating. What I find even more fascinating is that some people think it’s inconsequential; either that it doesn’t really matter or that they should just be allowed to ‘be who they are/wear what they want’, no matter what. It’s a fair point in some ways, we should be allowed to be who we are, but there’s a but. There’s always a but. In this case the but is that what we wear matters, and does have an impact on how others see us.

How we dress affects not just how others see us but how we view ourselves. When we dress down we not only project a lack of professionalism outwardly but we also suffer from it internally.

Even your subconscious notices the difference between your shorts/flip-flops combo and your best suit: have you ever noticed that you stand up a little straighter, behave a little better, and try harder not to spill on yourself when you’re wearing your ‘good’ clothes?  …and if your subconscious is paying attention then you better believe the person (boss, colleague, client) standing in front of you is.

Given that it always pays to look professional – even in hot, summer months – think about using some of these tips:

• Choose lighter weight, breathable fabrics such as linen or cotton
• Have a few pieces with a slightly looser fit; this helps in humid weather particularly
• Opt to keep your jacket and tie off until you need to wear them
• Pair a sleeveless dress or top with a light jacket or cardigan
• Keep your ‘work’ shoes at the office and change when you get there (this goes for both men and women)

Trust me when I say it’s worth making the effort. Sure, you might have to suffer a little along the way but the payoff – being the person who gets noticed for staying polished and professional at all times – will be worth it.

If you’d like to read more about the psychology behind dressing and appearance, take a look these articles:

• ‘What your clothes might be saying about you’ from Psychology Today
• ‘When clothing style influences cognitive style’ from The Association for Psychological Science

Hilary Robinson is the Senior Trainer and Owner of Polished Professionals in Toronto, Canada. With her background, spent running events for Prime Ministers, CEOs and academics (in the UK and Canada), one might think that she’s all about following the rules. However, she prefers to train people to understand their parameters, what it means to follow them, what advantages there are in knowing how and when to bend them, and the value in using good manners to put others at ease. With 20 years working worldwide in events and communications, Hilary believes manners and courtesy are not only powerful communication tools but the foundations on which self-confidence and success grow.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Politely Accepting Compliments

 Don’t do that. Do this instead.

While most of us like hearing compliments, not many of us feel comfortable receiving them... This article is part of Hilary Robinson’s “Don’t do that. Do this instead series.”

Compliments are lovely. We all like to hear nice things about ourselves, don’t we?

While most of us like hearing compliments, not many of us feel comfortable receiving them.

Justify a compliment: DON’T DO THAT

Instead of being left with a sense of accomplishment when someone pays us a compliment we find ourselves slightly embarrassed; we stumble for words, look at our feet and probably mutter something self-deprecating.

Often the conversations go something like this:

‘Job well done!’ …‘Oh, I was just doing my job.’

‘You look gorgeous!’ …‘Oh, I, um…in this old thing?’

‘Great presentation.’ …‘Oh, anyone could have done that.’

Not only does this leave us feeling slightly embarrassed but it also leaves the person giving the compliment feeling awkward and takes away from their good intentions. When we make excuses and try to rationalize the compliment we run the risk of turning it into a much bigger ‘event’ than the other person intended.

DO THIS INSTEAD: Say ‘thank you’

There is, however, a lovely, simple and gracious way to deal with the situation: say ‘thank you’. That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to expound, you don’t have to justify why, you just need to say thank you.

‘Job well done!’ …‘Thank you.’

‘You look gorgeous!’ …‘Thank you.’

‘Great presentation.’ …‘Thank you.’

Keep in mind that people don’t have to say anything; so when they pay you a compliment, pay them the compliment of accepting it graciously.

Skeptical?

You’re now asking yourself if it’s really that easy, aren’t you? Well, I gave this advice to my lovely friend Karen, and here’s what she told someone else about our conversation…and in doing so, she paid me a compliment (thank you, Karen):

“I once mentioned to Hilary that I found it very difficult to accept compliments. Every time anyone said something positive to me, about me I found myself denying it, justifying myself or making a joke. Which inevitably ruined the intent of the comment and sometimes made things awkward. Hilary looked at me and said, ‘All you have to do is say thank you’. Simple, obvious, brilliant. I trusted Hilary and tried it out, it works. In one sentence she solved what was becoming a regular stumbling block in my professional and personal interactions.”

An especially big thank you to my mum, who taught it to me in the first place.

Use these two simple words and you will be thought of as gracious, polished and professional.

Hilary Robinson is the Senior Trainer and Owner of Polished Professionals in Toronto, Polished Professionals Canada. With her background, spent running events for Prime Ministers, CEOs and academics (in the UK and Canada), one might think that she’s all about following the rules. However, she prefers to train people to understand their parameters, what it means to follow them, what advantages there are in knowing how and when to bend them, and the value in using good manners to put others at ease. With 20 years working worldwide in events and communications, Hilary believes manners and courtesy are not only powerful communication tools but the foundations on which self-confidence and success grow.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette is Much More Than Rules

"Protocol is not there to dictate to you. It is there to help you." Barbara Bush 

Seeing Etiquette Through a Different Lens ... It’s Not Always About Which Fork to Use!

 by Hilary Robinson

There are occasions, when telling people that I provide training on the subject of Etiquette and Protocol, that they look at me like I have an extra head. Every now and then I can even see their internal dialogue written on their face: ‘that’s so old-fashioned’, ‘she’s clearly living in the past’, ‘oh no, she’s going to critique everything I say and do’. This last one is the most common; at a recent event the host of my table looked up as I approached and exclaimed, more-or-less in jest, ‘great, I’ve got the etiquette expert!’ (I don’t by the way, unless asked.)

I put these responses down to the fact that many people equate etiquette with ‘rules’ – rules that govern our every move, and get us into trouble if we don’t follow them.

Yes, there are rules when it comes to etiquette and protocol but though they can seem frivolous, they are actually very helpful. Many stem from common sense and are in place to help us navigate business and social settings; some are driven by interacting with other cultures; others, leftovers of bygone eras, fading into the past.

However, I believe, firmly, that etiquette is so much more than simply a set of rules. You can take your pick of words and phrases: etiquette, courtesy, civility, polite behaviour, consideration for others – but when it comes down to it, all of these ensure that we carry out our daily interactions – be they business meetings, hosting an event, or passing someone on the street – in a thoughtful, kind manner, which, in turn, shows others that we value their time and attention.

I don’t view the ‘rules’ as being stiff, old-fashioned directives. I see them, instead, as the tools we use to give us the confidence and freedom to interact with others under any, and all, circumstances. Sometimes it is about which fork to use – and if you know which fork to use you can ignore your place setting and pay attention to your guests.

And, the great thing about knowing the rules is knowing how, when and where you can break them.

Meet our newest contributor, Hilary Robinson, the Senior Trainer and Owner of Polished Professionals in Toronto, Canada. With her background, spent running events for Prime Ministers, CEOs and academics (in the UK and Canada), one might think that she’s all about following the rules. However, she prefers to train people to understand their parameters, what it means to follow them, what advantages there are in knowing how and when to bend them, and the value in using good manners to put others at ease. With 20 years working worldwide in events and communications, Hilary believes manners and courtesy are not only powerful communication tools but the foundations on which self-confidence and success grow. It's understanding that not all social or business situations are created equal, and knowing how to deal with those differences, that gives us our ability to be our best and to succeed. (Oh, and she’s completely passionate (and nerdy) about all this… if you have any questions feel free to ask!)

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia