Cheese Course Etiquette

Antique flatware and serving ware for cheeses and butter, including a large Stilton scoop with a “French ivory” handle – The technical reason for not cutting off the nose or as the French call it, the point of the Brie or any soft cheese in a wheel shape, is so that every part of the cheese can be savoured. With a wedge piece cut from the centre of the cheese one can taste the squidgy soft centre, the firmer “shoulder” and the soft rind. But the real reason is so that other guests may also enjoy the soft squidgy centre too, not just one person who by hogging the nose behaves with selfish disregard for the other guests.

The great debate of when to serve cheese baffles many a hostess. Before pudding or after? The French do it before the British tend to do it after. Now a days it is quite usual to see cheese and pudding on the table at the same time. If the side plate and knife are cleared after the main course and the cutlery at the top of the place setting also has a knife you can use this for cheese along with a clean plate and a finger bowl, which should be brought to the table for those who want cheese and dessert (dessert being fruit and sweetmeats) apart from grand dinners*, I think most people today leave the side plates and knives and use them for cheese. * Grand dinners don’t tend to have a cheese course – they might have a savoury.

One never knows just how much notice our children take of what we say until the situation arises. I well remember my eldest daughter, who would have been around 9 or 10, reprimanding her Granny who knew only too well NOT to cut the “nose” or “point” of the Brie off! (It is also my experience that the better bred the person the less likely they are to stick to convention; the rules surely don’t apply to them!) Of course, Granny just continued eating and smiling and a litany of why and how from my daughter followed once Granny had gone.

The technical reason for not cutting off the nose or as the French call it, the point of the Brie or any soft cheese in a wheel shape, is so that every part of the cheese can be savoured. With a wedge piece cut from the centre of the cheese one can taste the squidgy soft centre, the firmer “shoulder” and the soft rind. But the real reason is so that other guests may also enjoy the soft squidgy centre too, not just one person who by hogging the nose behaves with selfish disregard for the other guests. Rant over!

Building a cheese board to compliment the menu is a matter of personal taste and I would suggest you speak with your cheese monger who will be able to guide you. I tend to serve Brie, a mature cheddar, a local cheese, and a blue cheese with crisp Bath Oliver biscuits. Butter is another trap waiting for the unsuspecting hostess – it would be very welcome but may be frowned upon by some. I serve celery in a celery vase. Tip: always peel the bottom of the celery, no one likes the tough stringy bits and leave the leaves intact. 

Dates or figs in season, walnuts and quince cheese are popular additions. If I serve grapes, I put them in a grape basket and always lay the grape shears alongside – silver grape shears or scissors are fun to collect and if you are stuck at what to get for Christmas keep a keen eye out, you can never have too many. I have a mahogany cheese coaster that I confess I use for fruit and flowers as a truckle of Stilton would run to the maggoty stage at any other time of year other than Christmas when we do have a small truckle. 

Beautiful Stilton scoops can also be collected and should be used with a truckle of Stilton. Please don’t pour Port into the Stilton. If you do serve Port the etiquette is for the decanter to be placed in front of the host then the host serves the man (or woman) on his right, serves himself then passes it to his left. Port always moves to the left. If the Port gets “stuck” it is the host’s job to ask the person closest to the decanter if he knows the Bishop of Norwich? Which is code for pass the port!– From The Cheese Course, by Amy Willcock copyright 2023 reproduced with permission only

Author Amy Willcock is our newest contributor. Amy was the Best in Show Winner for the Etiquette Community in our 2nd Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. She is most well known for her books on AGA Stove cooking. Her books, "The Aga Bible," "Aga Cooking," "Aga Seasons," "Amy Willcock's Aga Baking," "Amy Willcock's Aga Know-How,"" At Home with Amy Willcock," and "B&B Know-How” are available on Amazon.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Cheese Etiquette

“A French host will always serve some cheese with the evening meal. We tend to eat cheese before the sweet, because having any after dessert is a bit more difficult to enjoy. The host will serve around four cheeses with some baguette, which is eaten with red wine - white wine would be a crime. There are no chutneys, no tomatoes, grapes or apple that goes with it like you have in England. It is a simple mouthful of bread and cheese, not even any butter.” – Eric Charriaux in MailOnline.com

Most people understandably don't think there are many rules for eating cheese, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The etiquette pitfalls are actually numerous, varying from deploying the incorrect condiments and slicing the cheese the wrong way.

Eric Charriaux and his business partner Amnon Paldi own Premier Cheese, which supplies cheese to the restaurant and hotel industry, as well as a range of fromageries called La Cave á Fromage. Here Charriaux explains some of the rules the French have when it comes to eating cheese, starting with how you should always have enough for a selection to offer unexpected guests.

According to Charriaux, “Most French people have their own plastic or wooden container with a selection of cheeses that are ready to be eaten, in case of guests. They will be in a good ripe condition, from a market stall, a farm or a  cheese monger, who usually only sell local cheeses.” Not only does your range of cheese mark you out as a connoisseur or not, but the point during the meal that you serve them does too, as well as what they are served alongside. 

A French host will always serve some cheese with the evening meal. “We tend to eat cheese before the sweet, because having any after dessert is a bit more difficult to enjoy. The host will serve around four cheeses with some baguette, which is eaten with red wine - white wine would be a crime. There are no chutneys, no tomatoes, grapes or apple that goes with it like you have in England. It is a simple mouthful of bread and cheese, not even any butter.”

Now, if your host has gone to such lengths to serve the cheese course in the correct manner, it is only right to enjoy their offerings with the proper etiquette and there are a couple of crucial points to follow, including never, ever cutting the nose (the centre piece) off a triangle brie. 

Charriaux says that cutting the nose off the brie is very bad manners. “You should never cut a triangle by the tip, because then someone will only be left with the outer rind and nothing else. That will trigger terrible comments from people around you.

“The other main point to remember is that if there is blue cheese on the board, it has to be eaten last because of the power of the other cheese. If you eat the blue cheese first, it demonstrates that you have a weak palette. The most important thing to know is this though - cheese is something be enjoyed with good friends.” — Daily Mail Online, 2016

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia