Gilded Age D.C. Etiquette Coach

            

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions. 

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

*A second debut article from 2016*

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

  🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of Prospective First Ladies

Although a lot has been spoken and written about the capabilities of Presidential candidates in the coming campaign, very little has been said of the woman who may share the success of any one of them. Of course, Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt, wife of New York's Governor, who is the leading Democratic candidate, needs no introduction to Americans. Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one. Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to polities and diplomatic usage, so in the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign she would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand into a glove. Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, would also make an ideal “First Lady.” Since her marriage in 1895, she has been “Texas Jack’s” secretary and advisor. Their ideal partnership constitutes as romantic a story as any in the pages of fiction. Then there is Mrs. Newton D. Baker, who is equipped for the job of presiding at the White House by reason of her association with diplomatic society during her husband's tenure of office as Secretary of War in the late President Wilson's cabinet. One unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event of Governor George White of Ohio being nominated and elected, he will bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House– his 24-year-old daughter, Mary, who is now his official hostess in the Gubernatorial mansion of Ohio.

These Potential First Ladies Well Qualified for Position

Wives of Three Leading Democratic Candidates and Daughter of a Fourth Ideally Suited for Job of White House Hostess.

WASHINGTON, June 17. Although it is an oft-repeated truth that every American boy may consider himself a potential President of these United States, we rarely, if ever, hear a word about the prospects of the girls who are destined to marry these boys. A strange oversight this, seeing that it is perfectly logical that if every boy has a chance of becoming "First Gentleman" of the land every girl has an equal chance of acquiring the coveted title of "First Lady."

Take a few of the present candidates for the Democratic nomination for the Presidency: Governor Franklin D. Roosevelt, of New York: Speaker John Nance Garner, of Texas; Newton D. Baker, of Cleveland, Ohio, and Governor George White, of Ohio. The capabilities of these candidates are well known, but how much is known of the woman who will share the success of any one of them? Of course, Mrs. Roosevelt, by reason of her distinguished family tree, is the more familiar of the potential “First Ladies.” Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one on March 17, 1905. Most of Mrs. Roosevelt's life has been spent in the service of her family and more than a half-dozen civic movements.

Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to national politics, having proved her metal on many a campaign platform. In the last Presidential campaign, she fought tooth and nail in support of Alfred E. Smith, the Democratic standard-bearer. Ironically, Smith is her husband's bitterest opponent in the present fight for nomination.In the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign, Mrs. Roosevelt would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand in a glove.

Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, though not as widely known as Mrs. Roosevelt, would also make an 18 carat “First Lady.” Since “Texas Jack” married the former Ettie Rheiner, in November, 1895, she has been his secretary, helper and advisor. There is very little about politics that Mrs. Garner does not know. The story of Speaker John and his wife deserves a whole volume to itself if justice is to be done to one of the most ideal partnerships in politics or any other field. Their struggles and triumphs constitute a romantic story rarely found outside the pages of fiction.

Then there is Mrs. Newton D.Baker, who, as Elizabeth Leopold, of Pottstown, Pa., married the present Democratic “Dark Horse,” in 1902. Mrs. Baker would also make an admirable White House Lady, knowing, as she does, the highways and byways of social and diplomatic etiquette. Though her. home is in Cleveland, O., Mrs.. Baker has been established as one of the capital's most popular hostesses since the day in 1916 when her husband took office as Secretary of War in the cabinet of the late-President Wilson. She has persistently worked for the cause of working women for many years; knows politics inside out and her pet ambition is to be an artist and to sing. Though she is not very hopeful of her husband's chances of being named to carry the banner of Democracy, Mrs. Baker is the most consistent admirer of the “Dark Horse.”

While on the subject of potential “First Ladies,” one unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event that Governor George White, of Ohio, should win the nomination. and be victorious at the polls, he would bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House. She is his daughter, Mary, 24, the eldest of five children. Governor White is a widower and when he was elected Governor of Ohio, in 1930, Mary automatically be came his official hostess. Who knows, she may yet rule the social functions in the House of Presidents. – Calexico Chronicle, 1932

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

How Presidential Etiquette Changed in 1884

 

No subject is discussed with more animation or intense feeling among society people here than that of who shall go in first with the President to dinner, or who shall stand nearest to the Lady of the White House during receptions... — Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

—Photo source, Pinterest 

A KNOTTY POINT OF ETIQUETTE

No subject is discussed with more animation or intense feeling among society people here than that of who shall go in first with the President to dinner, or who shall stand nearest to the Lady of the White House during receptions. Little factions are found at all entertainments, contending for the wife of the Secretary of State as against the wife of the Speaker, or for the reverse of that order, and politeness is sometimes strained during the heat which these disputes cause. The passage of the Senate Bill regulating the Presidential succession has given rise to a new line of discussion.


A writer for the Sunday Herald talks seriously about the consequences of the Bill, if it should become a law, and his conclusions indicate the thought which rises uppermost in the society mind upon the study of it. He says, “If the Bill— Senate No. 22— to provide for the performance of the duties of the office of President in case of the removal, death, resignation, or inability both of the President and Vice President, which was passed in the Senate January 21, becomes a law by being passed in the House of Representatives also, and signed by the President — it is now thought by no means probable that the House will agree to it— the guests on all state occasions in future where the same officials are present as were at the President's dinner party on January 30, will have to be seated as they were on that occasion, for the Cabinet, when that Bill becomes a law, will outrank all others save the President and Vice President.”


This is conceded by a prominent Senator whose judgment in matters of etiquette has never been disputed. He says however, that, “Until that Bill does become a law no one, not even the President, should reverse the code of etiquette by putting the Cabinet above the Speaker and Senators on State occasions. The Bill referred to provides that in case of vacancies in the two highest offices, the Secretary of State, or, if there being none, or in case of his removal, death, resignation, or inability, then the Secretary of the Treasury and the Bill continues to name the members of the Cabinet in their order as eligible to the succession if those above them in the Cabinet should be removed, etc..., shall act as President until the disability of the President or Vice President is removed, or a President shall be elected, etc... This Bill, if passed, will revolutionize official society in Washington, reversing all the laws of etiquette between officials which have prevailed for many years.” — the New York Times, February, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Presidential Etiquette and Politics

Some men do not seem to consider that the President's Cabinet is his family, just as a general officer's staff is his military family – Oregon’s Cape Kiwanda... A gorgeously stunning beach, where “Pacific Slopers” can contemplate Washington D.C.’s Presidential etiquette. Or not.

Senator Williams, of Oregon, may well exclaim " Save me from my friends!" Well meaning friends they were, to be sure; but when they went in procession and asked President Grant to put the Senator into his Cabinet, they unintentionally committed a breach of etiquette, incurred the Preidential displeasure and thereby jeoparded whatever chances the distinguished Oregonian had for a seat in the Executive councils. 

Some men do not seem to consider that the President's Cabinet is his family, just as a general officer's staff is his military family; so, when the luckless Pacific-Slopers bolted into the private family sitting-room (so to speak), of the President, and asked that their friend be adopted into the domesticity thereof, they were guilty of an enormous breach of decorum, and unwittingly invited the severe snubbing they received. The President ought, however, to consider that the breezy manners of "the Pacific Slope" are not specially refining, and that the backwoods and the sage-brush may turn out very skillful politicians, but not men who are au fait in all the "social amenities." – Daily Alta, 1871

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Washington Centenary Etiquette

William Henry Harrison was the 9th President of the United States. The last president born as a British subject, Harrison died of pneumonia merely 31 days into his term, thereby serving the shortest tenure in United States presidential history. He was the first president to die in office. Harrison's death briefly sparked a constitutional crisis, leaving unsettled Constitutional questions as to the presidential line of succession. 

If we could be carried back into the 18th century we should behold a country totally unfamiliar to us, and the material transformation which the progress of a hundred years has wrought, but measures a corresponding change in the national attitude. Though only the Chief Magistrate of a Government which was viewed with scant respect abroad, and composed of a few factious states that offered many intricate puzzles in statecraft, and sharply checked any extension of the executives power, nevertheless the Republican Court was hedged in by much more formality than is now permitted, to rule the White House.

Were we to apply the principle of evolution to social forms, we could see how well they have been demonstrated in the changes wrought in the etiquette of the Federal Capital. Washington's attendance, upon Congress in a cream-colored coach, drawn by six white horses, with outriders and postilions, escorted by the Secretary of State and the Secretary of the Treasury, savored of Kingly state. His receptions were chillingly formal, but in strict accordance with his sense of Presidential propriety, which forbade the ceremonial of hand-shaking as too familiar. England's yoke had been thrown off, but her influence was still apparent in the aristocratic tinge of society and the imitation of her form.

As the notion of the Republic has been developed, these remaining traces of Royal ceremonies have disappeared, until now. President Harrison steps from the ranks of private citizenship into the executive chair of a nation great in extent and influence without any essential change in the etiquette of his intercourse with his fellow-citizens, and now Americans see nothing derogatory to the indignity of the high position when our President serves his guests to refreshments or assists them in the cloakroom. 

These changes have deep seated causes. The cheers which will re-echo for President Harrison on his progress to New York will have a widely different keynote from those that greeted Washington. The pulse of the nation, then struggling to its feet, beat high with hope and with fear for their new Government. Under the Confederation, the United States were hopelessly drifting toward anarchy, and the terrors of the French revolution filled American elites with forebodings for their own future. 

The Federal Government seemed to offer a remedy, but might not the President become an absolute Monarch, and the Senate arrogate to itself aristocratic privileges and relentlessly crush the liberty of the States. Thus it was that a deep undercurrent of anxious emotion surged through the hearts of the citizens who greeted Washington, while the cheers which will resound for Harrison as he follows in his predecessor's footsteps will arise from hearts full of proud satisfaction in their President, and trusting with perfect confidence in the form of Government that has so well stood the test of the century, and under which the country has achieved such unparalleled progress. — Pacific Rural Press, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Washington Ladies' Etiquette Code

Known the country over as the most beautiful and influential woman there ever was in Washington, Kate Chase, occupied the most powerful position in Washington society that a woman could hold. She held sway in 19th Century Washington D.C., far beyond her gender at the time. 

Gilded Age Ladies’ Etiquette in Washington:  

“The Ladies’ Code”

A 2nd Debut Article 

The ladies' code is more complicated, and it is important to be understood. Ladies of the Diplomatic Corps receive first visits from official society, and duly return the same in good form. 

There is a friction between Senate ladies and Cabinet ladies regarding first calls, but the common law of custom exists, and should be gracefully, accepted. There was more excuse for sensitiveness during the present administration than has existed before. 

The Cabinet ladies were entirely new members of Washington society, excepting the honored and beloved wife of the Secretary of State, who was called to a higher court before social etiquette of the new administration was established, and naturally they felt the newness of their position, and, from a home point of view, regarded it etiquette for the older members of society to make the first call upon the new, hence a conflict, without an authorized umpire to decide a vexed question.

The ladies' visiting code admits of great latitude, and rules must be observed to avoid complications. The old rule of fixed days in every part of the city was best. Why any innovation from the old rule is regarded with favor, I am unable to say; but if carriage hire has produced this result, let it be canceled by "Jeffersonian simplicity," and ladies take time to enter and leave the house with formality due a hostess, and not pay visits as if life depended on the action. 

Many compromising episodes result through lack of "time" and method. Not long ago, a new member of official society with ambition to call where the largest number of carriages were seen, found herself at a funeral. — Brooklyn Magazine, April 1887

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of a Confederate First Lady

Southern Belle, Varina Davis, tried to duplicate the protocol and etiquette of Washington DC, after her husband became President of the US Civil War's Confederacy. 

The Confederacy's Jefferson Davis, and His Wife's Washingtonian Inspired Attempts at Copying the North's Presidential Protocol 

In his “Recollections of Richmond,” Edward A. Pollard chats as follows about Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson Davis:

Amid the frivolities and vicissitudes of Richmond society during the war, Mrs. Jefferson Davis was conspicuous for an attempt to introduce into them something of the manners and and etiquette she had imported from certain circles in Washington. It proved not only an ignominious failure, but an unpleasant scandal. 

The Confederate President himself, although recluse and haughty in his government, was democratic enough in his personal habits, simple in his social tastes, and plain and accessible to the populace. But Davis was the most usurious of men, and it was surprising indeed that a man of his fine nervous organism, a very type of social dilletantism, should have fallen so much under the dominion of a woman who was so excessively coarse and physical in her person, and in whom the defects of nature had been repaired neither by the grace of manners, nor the charms of conversation. 

Mrs. Davis was a brawny, able-bodied woman, who had much more of masculine mettle than of feminine grace; her complexion was tawny, even to mulattoism; a woman loud and coarse in her manners, full of self assertion, not the one of her sex who would have been supposed to win the deference of a delicate man like Davis — whimsical in health, a victim to “nerves,” nice and morbid in his social tastes — although she might as well have conquered the submission of such a creature by the force of her character. 

Davis deferred to her in the social regulations she would impose upon Richmond. She demanded the etiquette of Washington, that the President's lady should return no calls; she introduced what was unknown in Richmond — liveried servants; and when every horse was impressed in the service, the citizens forced to to go afoot, remarked with some disdain the elegant equipage of Mrs. Davis, that paused much more before the shops of Main street than the aristocratic residences of Grace and Franklin.

Davis himself was simple and democratic in his habits. His figure, habitually clothed in Confederate gray, was familiar on the streets, or might be seen almost every evening, mounted on the rather mean horse on which he took regular exercise. He invited the approach and freedom of  the commonest men, but sometimes to the disadvantage of his dignity. 

A number of stories were told in Richmond of his curiously free intercourse with his soldiers, although they lacked something of the Napoleonic tradition. Once, when he was crossing Capitol Square, a drunken North Carolina soldier stopped him and inquired, “Say, mister, be' t you Jefferson Davis?” “Sir,” returned the President, “that is my name.” “I thought so,” replied tar heel, “you look so much like a Confederate postage stamp.” 

Another occasion was more dramatic. The President was returning with Mrs. Davis from one of the customary festivities on a flag of truce boat that had come up the James. Walking the street in the night, unattended by his staff, and with no indications of his importance, he had to pass the front of the Libby Prison, where a sentinel paced, and according to his orders, forced passengers from the sidewalk to take the middle of the street. 

As the President, with his wife on his arm approached him, he ordered them on the pavement. “I am the President,” replied Davis, “allow us to pass.” “None of your gammon,” replied the soldier, bringing his musket to his shoulder, “if you don't get into the street, I'll blow the top of your head off.” “But I am Jefferson Davis man — I am your President — no more of your insolence!” and the President pressed forward. He was rudely thrust back, and in a moment he had drawn a sword or dagger concealed in his cane, and was about to rush on the insolent sentinel, when Mrs. Davis flung herself between the strange combatants, and by her screams aroused the officer of the guard. 

Explanations were made, and the President went safely home. But instead of the traditional reward of the faithful sentry, that has usually graced such romantic adventures, came an order next day for the Libby to degrade the soldier, and give him a taste of bread and water for his unwitting insult to the Commander-in-Chief of the Confederate armies. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1868

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Coach to White House

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Merry Affair

Rudeness is no proper response to another’s rudeness! Portrait of Mrs Elizabeth Merry, wife of the new British diplomatic representative to the United States, Anthony Merry– “The two diplomats and their wives sought to retaliate. At their parties, for instance, no one escorted the wives of the Cabinet members to the dinner table. This social war greatly enlivened Washington.”

Thomas Jefferson's Washingtonian Merry Affair

Jefferson believed that the President's dress and manners should reflect the republican simplicity and informality of the country. Pomp and show reminded him too much of the European courts. In fact, Jefferson worked so hard to avoid ostentation that he began to dress not merely plainly, but sloppily.

As for manners, he refused to observe the rules of protocol in seating his dinner guests. First come, first served was the rule in the Presidential mansion, the White House. Jefferson explained: In social circles, all are equal, whether in, or out, of office, foreign or domestic; and the same equality exists among ladies and gentlemen … “pell mell” and “next the door” form the basis of etiquette in the societies of this country.

The new British diplomatic representative to the United States, Anthony Merry, and his wife were shocked and insulted when the president received them in worn clothing and slippers. In December 1803 at a formal dinner in the White House, no one offered to escort Mrs. Merry to dinner. In the dining room, Merry and his wife had to scramble for places at the table in competition with the other guests. The Marquis d'Yrujo, the Spanish diplomat, had the same experience. He and Merry agreed that this treatment was an insult to them and to their countries.

The two diplomats and their wives sought to retaliate. At their parties, for instance, no one escorted the wives of the Cabinet members to the dinner table. This social war greatly enlivened Washington. The President refused to retreat from his pell mell rule, and Merry and Yrujo became increasingly angry and receptive to the plottings of Jefferson's opponents, the Federalists and Aaron Burr.

—From www.knowsouthernhistory.net

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington Etiquette and Precedence

Franklin Pierce and his Cabinet — Franklin Pierce, 14th President of the United States, became President at a time of seeming tranquility. The United States, by virtue of the Compromise of 1850, seemed to have weathered its sectional storm. By pursuing the recommendations of southern advisers, Pierce — a New England Democrat who saw the abolitionist movement as a fundamental threat to the unity of the nation —hoped to prevent still another outbreak of that storm. But his policies, far from preserving calm, hastened the disruption of the Union.

The New York Commercial, in an article on “Etiquette and Precedence,” tells its readers what are the rules and regulations observed, in that connection, at Washington : 

The representatives of foreign governments are somewhat punctilious on points of etiquette, and attach considerable importance to the right of the first visit, and to precedence in entering a room or being seated at a table. 

We believe that formerly Senators of the United States on going to Washington for the session, called upon the President and Vice President, and there stopped, received the first call from all others, including Judges of the Supreme Court, Cabinet Ministers, Foreign Representatives, etc... 

The Judges of the Supreme Court now claim the first visit, and consequently precedence of place, for the one necessarily implies the other; and Senators are understood generally to waive the question in favor of the Judges, though Mr. Clay and some of the older Senators are said to have resisted the concession. 

A concession of precedence has also been made in favor of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, on the grounds that he is next to the Vice President in the line of succession to the Presidency in case of death, resignation, etc... So that the following would seem to be the order of official precedency:

1. President 

2. Vice President 

3. Speaker of the House 

4. Judges of the Supreme Court 

5. Senators 

6. Cabinet and Foreign Ministers

7. House of Representatives 

The Secretary of State, we believe, takes the precedence of the other members of the Cabinet, but we are not sure that the claim is allowed. — 1853

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of White House Table Service and State Dinners

State dinners had become so large by Ronald Reagan's presidency that none of the china could accommodate the number of guests. First Lady Nancy Reagan ordered 4,370 pieces of Lenox china, enough place settings of 19 pieces for 220 people. This was nearly twice as many placesettings as other recent services. The Reagans wanted a design that would display a strong presence for the subtly colored State Dining Room, now painted white. Nancy Reagan worked closely with Lenox designers to create a pattern with bands in a striking scarlet red, which was her favorite color. The pattern was bordered on each side with etched gold, which created a sparkling contrast with the soft ivory china. The presidential seal was in raised gold in the center, partially overlaying the red border. On pieces such as the service and dessert plates, fine gold crosshatching overlays the red.  The Reagans were often criticized for the $209,508 cost, but the china was not funded by taxpayers. It was paid for by the J.P. Knapp Foundation.

All through the Cold War, the White House maintained the tradition of Russian table service at its official luncheons and dinners. And now that the Russians have switched from threatening to bewildering, there is talk of abolishing Russian service.

Trust Miss Manners to discover the one political issue that excites no one except herself. But perhaps she can stir something up.The question is only whether food at formal meals should be offered around on platters, with guests taking what they want, or whether each guest should be handed a pre-filled plate, with some of everything on it. Who cares?

But we're talking about a republic. Surely we can turn this into an emotional debate with charges of elitism and the stifling of creativity on one side, and of throwing people out of work and wasting the earth's resources on the other.

Stereoscopic view of the White House State Dining Room tables set in the latter half of the 19th century.  The tables were long at the time.  Jacqueline Kennedy changed White House dining when she opted to make a switch to smaller, and more intimate, round tables during the Kennedy Administration.   They remain round to this day.

The teams are: Russian, French, American (known to the English as English) and Restaurant, listed in reverse order of probable popularity. But since people seem to feel so passionately about their food nowadays (which is why Miss Manners figured that restaurants would claim loyalty before any country), their respective positions - long since removed from any real national claims - should be examined.

All of these are types of formal service, in the modern sense of meaning that guests do not actually have to bus their own dishes. (The equivalent understanding of informal service probably involves keeping the refrigerator door open, and Miss Manners doesn't want to know the details.)

In French service, huge numbers of dishes are set out in symmetrical patterns on the dining table, guests being expected to help themselves and one another from what they find within reach. Standard until the late 19th century, this may be said to survive in today's buffet table. But how we evolved to being dumber than the Victorians, who realized how foolish it was to ask human beings to eat standing up, Miss Manners cannot say.

In Russian service, which replaced the French, food is arranged on platters that are taken around to the seated guests, who serve themselves. Leaving enough to go around depends on the honor system.

The success of a state dinner tends to hinge on a well-choreographed series of social gestures. Other than not fighting, the rules are common-sensical: For example, don't wear a pink pantsuit like the one Martha Stewart did during the official visit of the president of Hungary- to much derision at a state dinner in June 1999 - and never sit down until the president does.
"You stand in deference, you don't begin eating until everyone at the table is served, you talk to everybody," according to Letitia Baldrige,  the late etiquette expert who was social secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy. "And you never complain about the food."

In formal American service, the only formal service that still honors the noble and ancient ritual of personally carving for one's guests, the host or hostess carves the meat at the table after inquiring about the preferences of each guest. If the veggies are put on, too, and if everyone passes the plates down the table (and, if they are overly polite, all the way around and back again), it is "family style," but if servers do all that, it is formal.

In Restaurant service, which is to say at all except the truly best restaurants, food is "plated" in the kitchen, and each person is given some of everything. The commercial attraction is that this is the speediest service, which employs the fewest people.

Notice that this is the only formal service in which guests are not allowed to choose what they take (although in restaurants, they have already stated their preferences when they ordered).

You see where Miss Manners is leading. She is about to suggest that if the White House changes from Russian service to Restaurant (the French system being defunct and the American being impractical for big dinners, however comfy it would be to see the president carving), good food will be wasted.

And that guests may find things on their plates to which they have philosophical, medical or religious objections. And that worthy people with families to support may find themselves out of jobs.

Miss Manners really doesn't want to use those tedious arguments, any more than she wants to fight the even worse arguments that Russian service inhibits the creativity of chefs who would prefer to dribble sauces artistically on plates rather than on platters, or that it is elitist because the citizenry doesn't eat that way every day.

She prefers to argue that the mere continuing of a graceful tradition to distinguish special-occasion dining from more practical methods for everyday use is what is important. There is a vast difference between dignity and pretentiousness.

For Dining and Diplomacy; The Clinton White House's Tables for Queen Elizabeth II's visit. Gaffes in this setting are long remembered. For example, Jimmy Carter's 1979 state dinner for Mexican president, Jose Lopez Portillo. Carter shocked his guests with an indiscreet joke about getting "Montezuma's revenge" (a severe diarrhea) while visiting Mexico. And protocol can only go so far when so many ambitious people are going to be crammed into one room. Social secretaries of past administrations can recall movie stars refusing to give the Secret Service their actual birth dates for security clearances and guests who ran into the State Dining Room, attempting to change name cards for better schmoozing potential.

Dining at the White House has been steadily de-formalized over the past few administrations, until it is nearly comparable to eating in a fancy restaurant. Guests regularly bring dates, reply by telephone (or forget to reply and have to be called), dress for shock rather than decorum, or refuse the invitation altogether, if they have something better to do.

First-timers who consider it a command performance and strain to live up to it by polishing their conversation, their shoes and their manners soon find that the custom is to treat it casually.

And that the unflattering rationale is that anything nicer and more special would be wasted on ordinary citizens, who wouldn't know how to handle it.

The main article was originally published on June 14 1994, and was written by Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Washington Societal Etiquette

Circa 1860 illustration of White House (south face) with its first greenhouse 

Washingtonian Social Etiquette

The wife of the chief-justice, and not the wife of the President, is the first lady in the land, and takes precedence of all others. She holds receptions and receives calls, but she alone is excluded from all duty of returning calls.

The life of a lady in society at Washington is exceedingly onerous, and more especially so if she be the wife of any official.

Next in rank comes the wife of the President.

Social Duties Of The President

It is made the duty of the President to give several state dinners and official receptions during each session of Congress. Besides these, there are the general receptions, at which time the White House is open to the public and every citizen of the United States has a recognized right to pay his respects to the President.

Presidential Receptions

On the days of the regular " levees" the doors of the White House are thrown open, and the world is indiscriminately invited to enter them.

No “court”-dress is required to make one presentable at this republican court, but every one dresses according to his or her own means, taste or fancy. The fashionable carriage- or walking-dress is seen side by side with the uncouth homespun and homemade of the backwoodsman and his wife.

Neither are there any forms and ceremonies to be complied with in gaining admittance to the presidential presence. You enter, an official announces you, and you proceed directly to the President and his lady and pay your respects. They exchange a few words with you, and then you pass on, to make room for the throng that is pressing behind you. You loiter about the rooms for a short time, chatting with acquaintances or watching the shifting panorama of faces, and then you go quietly out, and the levee is ended for you.

Private Call Upon The President

If any one wishes to make a private call upon the President, he will find it necessary to secure the company and influence of some official or special friend of the President. Otherwise, though he will be readily admitted to the White House, he will probably fail in obtaining a personal interview.

Mrs. John Jay, "the First First Lady" ~ John Jay was a New York politician who would become the first chief justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, a two-term governor of New York, and an influential diplomat abroad.  As the job of President is a temporary position, "the wife of the chief-justice, and not the wife of the President, is the first lady in the land, and takes precedence of all others."

Social Duties Of Cabinet Officers And Their Families

The ladies of the family of a Cabinet officer must hold receptions every Wednesday during the season from two or three o'clock to half-past five. On these occasions the houses must be open to all who choose to call. Refreshments and an extra number of servants are provided. The refreshments for these receptions may be plain, consisting of chocolate, tea, cakes, etc.

Every one who has called and left a card at a Wednesday reception is entitled to two acknowledgments of the call. The first must be a returning of the call by the ladies of the family, who at the same time leave the official card of the minister. The second acknowledgment of the call is an invitation to an evening reception.

The visiting-list of the family of a Cabinet minister cannot contain less than two or three thousand names.

Cabinet officers are also expected to entertain at dinners Senators, Representatives, justices of the Supreme Court, the diplomatic corps, and many other public officers, with the ladies of their families.

The season proper for receptions is from the first of January to the beginning of Lent. The season for dinners lasts until the adjournment of Congress.

The President is not expected to offer refreshments to the crowds who attend his receptions. The Vice-president and Speaker of the House are also freed from the expense of feeding the hungry public.

Social Duties Of Congressmen And Their Families

It is optional with Senators and Representatives, as with all officers except the President and members of the Cabinet, whether they shall “entertain.”

There is a vast expense in all this, but that is not all. The labor and fatigue which society imposes upon the ladies of the family of a Cabinet officer are fairly appalling. To stand for hours during receptions at her own house, to stand at a series of entertainments at the houses of others whose invitations courtesy requires should be accepted, and to return in person all the calls made upon her, are a few of the duties of the wife of a high official. It is doubtful if her husband, with the cares of state, leads so really laborious a life.

In Washington society one end of a card turned down denotes a call in person.

From “The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Etiquette, A Complete Manual of the Manners and Dress of American Society” by E. B. Duffey ~ 1877

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