Etiquette and “Road Rude”

You really can’t judge a book by its cover! — I was given this book back in 2012 or 2013 by the late-Demita Usher, a very dear friend. I never really opened it up until a few weeks ago, due to the fact that Whoopi Goldberg is pictured on the cover, sitting on a toilet. Though it does have some profanity in it, overall, I have been pleasantly surprised. It’s filled with common sense, good daily manners, along with some wise words on life choices. I have a few young adults I’m planning on loaning it to soon.

I don't want anyone killing me with their car. Is that too much to ask? No, it's not. Then why are so many people trying to send me to my early reward with their vehicles? Truly. I can't believe some of the stunts I see pulled out there on the road. I have to say the worst behavior you see from people is when they get a steering wheel in their hands. To the point that I believe that your car is like a brain scan of your personality.

If you are a polite person or just a normal, considerate, going along-and-along-in-life person, that's pretty evident. You get a smile and a nod from me at the next stoplight.

If you are easily distracted, clumsy, or kind of off in the ozone, we're going to see that too. Please try to keep it off the sidewalk.

And if you are a jackass? Well, trust me, we know. We all know. And the way you carry on, we get plenty of opportunities to confirm that.

Do you think that when you get inside your car and close the door you become magically invisible? You do not. Not even with those tinted windows you think look so cool. We can see you. And it ain't pretty.

Some folks will surprise you when you see what they pull on the highway. These are the people who may not show signs of aggression or rudeness or risky behavior sitting in the break room with you at work, or selling you a nice pair of shoes at the department store. But don't be fooled. It doesn't mean that it's not part of their personality. Like that famous cartoon folks saw in driver's ed. It's where good ol' Goofy gets behind the wheel and suddenly becomes Satan. That's what happens to some people. Folks turn on that ignition, and suddenly, Satan rules.

What makes that happen? Maybe somebody chewed them out just before they left the factory, or they learned in the parking lot that some dude from the marketing department got the promotion they wanted. Or their girlfriend cheated on them. Or their boyfriend refuses to ask his best bud from college to find a motel for the weekend so they can have some alone time.

Or. Or. Or.

Does it matter what reason people have to be misbehaving behind the wheel? Hell, no. Screw the reason, all I care about is how they drive. And if you are a person who acts out with bad behavior behind the wheel, I have a message for you.

If you speed through a school zone, I have a message for you.

If you park in handicapped spaces, I have a message for you.

If you weave through cars on the interstate like it was your personal slalom, I have a message for you.

If you zip into a parking spot that somebody else has been patiently waiting for, I have a message for you. If you run lights, or bust a crosswalk with people in it, I have a message for you.

If other, more reasonable people obey the law and common sense and pull to the right to let a fire truck or an ambulance pass, and you use that opportunity to pass them all because you think you're so special that doesn't apply to you, I have a message for you.

If you tailgate, practice road rage, live on your horn, pollute with your smoky tailpipe, blind people with your high beams, dent somebody's fender and drive off, throw litter out the car window, drink, text, or watch videos on your cell phone while you should be driving, I have a message for you.

You're looking at it. — From “Is It Just Me? Or is it nuts out there?” by Whoopi Goldberg, 2010

🚘Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Rudeness and Sports’ Fans

Good sportsmanship is just as important on as well as off the field. 

Play Nice or Stay Home

Rude fans at sports stadiums don't stop at heckling. Hell, no. Why should they be satisfied merely yelling trash about a player's mother's STDs (yikes!), when they can step it up to an arrest for disorderly conduct?

These people are jackasses. Plain and simple But come on... we both know it's more than that. I'm going out on a limb here. I'm going to say that I believe these... offensive individuals... may have some special help. And I think it's alcohol.

What?? Get outta town...

These losers are somewhere on the scale between "Buzzed" and "Hammered Off Their Asses." And here's the thing... If you can't hold your alcohol, you should not be at the game. Drinking. That's it right there. You should not be at the game drinking if you cannot hold your liquor.

For the longest time until it was finally stopped, the old Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands had a weekly gathering of about five hundred drunks near the infamous Gate D, harassing women every Sunday football game. It was a total mob mentality. And people would wonder, how did five hundred people get away that for so long?

I know why. It's exactly because there were five hundred of them. Call it vulgarity in numbers. Because if no one gets reported, or nobody gets in trouble, a guy figures, "Well, if I'm with them, I can't get in trouble either. They can't find me in five hundred other people." And when you include alcohol in that, man... Alcohol tends to make people believe that it's OK for them to do or say anything.

Duh.

But, oh, what stunts they pull... Like the fans who like to pack batteries in snowballs and throw them at the football players. That's just dangerous. What gives anybody the right to come in and throw a brick dressed as a snowball at somebody and think it's funny? What if they hit him? That's one player going to the hospital and one fan going to jail.

The hot new summer sport doesn't seem to be baseball. It's fans running out onto the field to be Tasered by cops. Why?... Really, why??

What makes people think they have the right to leave their house and go to some stadium and be obnoxious?

Stay home.

Who decided a stadium is a free pass? I think a lot of people believe it is. It's the "If It Happens in Vegas" mentality... only in the bleachers.

How about when you're sitting there and folks show up with all sorts of crap and start spreading it out on the seats like it was a sale? They spread out like they were in their living rooms or Man Caves at home. If you're one of these people, here's The Big Question: What gives you the right to go to a stadium and pretend you're at home? And if you have a Man Cave? You may already be a lost cause.

I bet you don't pull anything like that at home. I doubt that they would let you. And maybe that's why you're moving around to ball parks and stadiums so much. You think that you're entitled to do it because you paid $490 for a ticket? What about the other people who paid for tickets too? What are they entitled to? What if everybody does it?

It's nuts.

Now, there are some annoyances at sporting events that you can't really do anything about. For instance, some folks complain that they don't like it when people keep getting up and down during the game 'cause they make everybody stand up and move every two minutes. I say, let that one go. It's annoying, but know if they have to go to the bathroom or get food or maybe just walk off a leg cramp from being crowded by that guy you don't who spread his crap out all over the row. That's one we just relax and live with. Choose your battles.

If you want to get angry at someone, save it for the fans who think it's cute to harass or belittle the food and souvenir vendors... giving them demeaning nicknames, or tossing their money so they have to stoop for it. They think it's funny. But every thing's a little more amusing when you're buzzed.

Most people don't know how to drink. I'm going to take a wild guess that these are not the people paying attention to the end of the TV ad where it says, "Enjoy responsibly."

They enjoy being jerks.

Meanwhile, these stadium vendors are working stiffs. They're not enjoying a Sunday afternoon in a reserved seat pounding back a cold brew. They're the ones serving it. Carrying fifty or sixty pounds on their backs, making change while some joker makes fun of them.

I'm a sports fan. I'm supposed to come to this game and enjoy myself and cheer my team. You, however, are not supposed to be throwing things and acting up right next to me. Or leaning over my kid and being rude. You're not supposed to do that.

I have an idea for a new tradition at the stadium. Throwing out the first drunk. From “Is It Just Me? Or is it nuts out there?” by Whoopi Goldberg, 2010

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Whoopi Goldberg on Manners

I was given this book for the Etiquipedia library back in 2012 as a gift, but never opened it to really take a good look until this evening. We were pleasantly surprised and must say we have to agree with her take on manners!

Manners

You know, it's tough to see little courtesies, once so common in our lives, slide away like they have. Now, I call these courtesies little, but they aren't so little.

For instance, “please” and “thank you” are powerful words. You want something? Ask for it nicely. I don't care whether it's in the fanciest restaurant or at the counter of your favorite fast-food spot in the lunchtime rush, notice how adding a “please” at the end of your order can bring a smile? Or when a stranger takes a moment to stop and hold a door open for us, “Hey, thanks” matters. I know if I didn't say it, I wouldn't feel right. It's just an acknowledgment that you are paying attention.

It takes two seconds and it means the world.

So why aren't people bothering with manners anymore? I mean, we used to have them, right?

It starts young. For them, it's not so much that they're being rude. They don't know any better.

Kids learn by rote. Let's just say when children are around uncivil people—especially adults with no manners— well, do I need to tell you what hits the fan?

That's the sound we're hearing. And there's only two choices. Basic politeness and common courtesy, or rudeness and incivility.

Case in point: Let's take the health care debate. We saw people lose their minds! Really... People spitting on folks... Yelling ugly things-the N-word, the F-word... Sending death threats. You wonder... do these folks have kids? Do they care their kids might see them on TV or acting like asses? And are their kids going to grow up to reflect their parents' creepy behavior when they don't like what someone says?

When I was a kid, man, if you didn't say "please" or "thank you" or “excuse me" instead of "Huh?" some adult would come flying into that room and be all up in your face demanding to know if you had been brought up by savages!!!

And you had to be polite about stuff you hated. You were taught to at least be civil about that ugly, awful birthday present from some aunt you never heard of, but she was on the phone and you had to talk to her right then and say thank you, because your folks or the adults didn't want your bad manners to reflect on them.

Gadzooks. I mean, think about it. It was "”Yes, sir,” “No, ma'am,” and “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so.” You'd never call an adult by their first name because it was considered disrespectful.

So when we grew up, a lot of us decided, “The hell with that. My kids will be raised not having to do those things. We will be friends and they will call my adult friends by their first names and I will reason with them and not sweat the manners so much."

That was a mistake because we didn't realize, with manners, we must start young. — From “Is It Just Me? Or is it nuts out there?” by Whoopi Goldberg, 2010

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia