Proper Etiquette of the Fork

“In eating, the fork should be used in the right hand, with the tines up—the only time it is used in the left is when it is assisting the knife in the cutting of meat.” — Unless, of course, you have a rare, left-handed fork!
(shown above, placed beside a regular fork)
— Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

The Use of the Fork

Almost all foods are eaten with the fork, even including peas, and other dishes of semi-liquid consistency. In eating, the fork should be used in the right hand, with the tines up—the only time it is used in the left is when it is assisting the knife in the cutting of meat. Use the fork for the cutting of salad and pie or pudding. The knife is only used for meat or the spreading of butter on bread.— Pacific Rural Press, 1916

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table Knife Etiquette

We have all seen humorous pictures of the uncouth man who sits waiting for his plate with his knife in his right hand and his fork in his left, points upwards. See that you don't let yourself look so ridiculous. 

The Right Thing at the Right Time with the Knife

“Since trifles make the sum of human things.” —Hannah More

DON’T hold your knife at table as if you contemplated cutting your way through a barbed wire entanglement with it. Take it no further down toward the blade than is necessary to hold it securely. In fact, it is a mistake to let your fingers rest anywhere but on the handle, save that the index finger may be placed on the edge of the dull side. When you have finished with a course in which a knife is used, place the knife across the side of the plate with the sharp side of the blade toward the center. 

If you are dining with your family and send your plate to the carver for a second helping, the knife and fork should be placed in this way, not removed and laid on the butter plate, much less held in mid-air. Never hold the knife in the hand, save when using it. Some persons, you know, forget that they have it in their hand and raise it in an awkward fashion with the point of the blade ceiling-ward. We have all seen humorous pictures of the uncouth man who sits waiting for his plate with his knife in his right hand and his fork in his left, points upwards. See that you don't let yourself look so ridiculous. 

Never use a knife in eating salad. Do not use a steel knife in eating fish. Some persons would say, never use any knives at all with fish, but it is quite all right to use a silver knife and small silver knives are especially designed for the fish course. In the ordinary household where fish is served as a substitute for the meat course, it is served with the usual knife and fork, but this knife should not be of steel. Do not use a knife when eating desserts, although in some provincial hotels, the waiter will give you a knife and fork with pie. A small knife may be served and used with cheese. When this is done, cut off a bit of cheese and place it by means of the knife on the wafer with which it is served and then convey the wafer to your month by means of the left hand. 

Never, never use your knife as an implement with which to assist food on your fork or to scout about your plate the last morsels. In fact, the knife should not be used at all for potatoes or other vegetables, these being broken entirely by means of the fork. If no butter knives are used, it is quite all right to use the dinner knife for buttering bread. Remember, however, never to spread more than a small morsel at a time, and never wipe off gravy or other food on a slice of bread by way of polishing your knife before using it on the butter. — By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Where’s a School of Table Etiquette?

Domestic Science schools lure the eye and tickle the palate... —“Not less necessary is it, perhaps, to refined tastes under reasonable and civilized cultivation, to know how to dispose of the food thus tastefully and tactfully prepared, in a manner inoffensive to the casual spectator. Pertinent is it, therefore, to inquire: “Where is our School of Table Etiquette?” Presumably, etiquette of the table is to the manor born. But we find it necessary to have our schools of parlor etiquette. Why, therefore, is it not expedient to have a course in table manners which shall teach us the disadvantage of trying to imbibe soup with a fork—and some other, graver things?”

In 1909 they asked, “Where is a School of Table Etiquette?”

Everywhere, schools of domestic science are bring installed with promising success in the effort to lure the eye and tickle the palate in gustatory function. By the side of these commendable educational efforts in the art of keeping ourselves alive for a normal period, are other schools devoted to the scientific study of the value of baled hay, beardless barley, flaked rye, withered cornhusks, little-necked clams, Edam cheese, bread fruit, egg-plant, vegetarian turkey, desiccated jelly-fish, and other delightful comestibles, too numerous to catalogue in this article. It is certainly desirable for the sake of joyful longevity to know how and what to prepare as food. Not less necessary is it, perhaps, to refined tastes under reasonable and civilized cultivation, to know how to dispose of the food thus tastefully and tactfully prepared, in a manner inoffensive to the casual spectator. Pertinent is it, therefore, to inquire: “Where is our School of Table Etiquette?”

Presumably, etiquette of the table is to the manor born. But we find it necessary to have our schools of parlor etiquette. Why, therefore, is it not expedient to have a course in table manners which shall teach us the disadvantage of trying to imbibe soup with a fork—and some other, graver things? To realize the necessity for such an educational enterprise, we need only partake of a few meals in a public dining-room to perceive the porcine proclivities of some of our “best” people. Men, perhaps, are the chief offenders. Women, as a rule, pay some attention to the semi-natural and common decencies. 

For instance, one seldom witnesses a lady, even of the most mediocre pretensions, sit at table picking her teeth, lolling over the board, licking the teaspoon and sticking it in the sugar, using the knife as a coal shovel, impaling morsels of meat and potato on the fork as if spearing fish in the Columbia River, straining the coffee through the mustache, bolting food by the bucket with a loud gurgling noise, lassoing dishes across the table which might easily be passed upon a simple neighborly request, and other delightful stunts in the gentle art of dining too unspeakable to be mentioned. Possibly a lady of high degree may be observed removing an unchewable morsel from the mouth on the tines of a fork or on the point of a spoon in full view, so that all assembled may enjoy the unappetizing spectacle. Possibly also, if she has attended a school of table etiquette, she will remove the offending bit of food under cover and in a way not to attract undue attention. 

Indeed, the possibility is that she will behave at table with a commendable degree of rectitude, even to the extent of refraining from proper chewing of her food lest the masticatory exercise will distort her cherubic mouth to such an extent, that the services of a beauty doctor must be summoned. But the men! Oh, horrors! Let us forthwith have a “Department of Table Etiquette” attached to every Grammar and High School to whose sessions women may and men must attend or suffer the penalties of starvation and ostracism from ordinarily polite society. The sooner man learns the use of the knife, fork and spoon, as well as modest quietude at table, the better for the reputation of our vaunted civilization. — San Jose Mercury News, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tackling Bad Table Manners

A meal is not a marathon; there are no prizes for speed. So don't race. Eat small bites, one at a time, and never take two bites from the same forkful or two sips from the same spoonful. 

Bad Table Manners Will Give Indigestion to Others

There are two ways to get indigestion. One is to eat. The other is to watch someone else eat. For every chow-hound who gets dyspepsia from wolfing his food, there's a spectator with dyspepsia from watching him. Give pig’s knuckles to a pig and if the pig doesn’t suffer, a fussy onlooker will. Greasiness in managing a barbecued rib, will cause queasiness in many a solar plexus if not the eater’s, the spectator’s. Bad table manners, in other words, not only offend another’s sensibilities. They offend his digestive tract as well. Many people will forgive the former, but never the latter. So, in the interest of preventive medicine, if not of etiquette, it's wise to winnow out the truly horrendous “boners.” 

• Eating shouldn’t be auditory. Chew quietly, with your lips closed. Keep sound effects at a minimum. Don't chew and chatter simultaneously. 
• If you’re a professional hostess flatterer, say: “M-mm, good!” and let it go at that. Licking your fingers or smacking your lips contributes nothing and detracts much. 
• A meal is not a marathon; there are no prizes for speed. So don’t race. Eat small bites, one at a time, and never take two bites from the same forkful or two sips from the same spoonful. 
• While handling the cutlery, keep your arms at your sides. Flapping elbows both imperil neighbors’ ribs and show gusto unsuitable to the occasion. 
• Liquids should be sipped, not gulped. Soup slurping is a cardinal sin. Thanks to the law of gravity, it's generally unnecessary to “wash down” your food. If you get a hot bite, of course, water makes a good fire extinguisher, but otherwise drink only when your mouth is empty. Even then, wipe your mouth with a napkin before drinking. Food marks on a glass rim aren't the most appetizing sight. 

If you think the following don’ts pertain only to the high-chair set, you’re wrong. Some adults haven’t heard of them, either. 

• Don’t eat windmill style. 
• Don’t root in your plate. 
• Don’t blow on your food to cool it. 
• Don’t make goulash where goulash wasn’t intended. Keep separate portions separate. 
• Don’t submerge everything in catsup or gravy. Catsup is particularly risky. Used in excess, it’s clearly a slur on the cuisine. 

Q & A ON P’S & Q’S – 

(Q) “I find it disgusting when somebody blows his nose at the dinner table. Don’t you agree?” J. B. 

(A) What disgusts one man doesn’t daunt another. Etiquette, as it happens, ordinarily doesn’t require a person to leave the table to blow his nose. It’s considered sufficient to bury your head, shield your nose well and not make a production of it. Nose-blowers, in any case, should never apologize. This merely calls attention to the act. – Don Goodwin, Copyright 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Food and Etiquette

Spoons are sometimes used with puddings, but forks are the better style and a spoon should never be turned over in the mouth.

• A cream-cake, and anything of similar nature, should be eaten with knife and fork, never bitten. Asparagus may be taken from the finger and thumb. 
• Peas and beans, as we all know, require the fork only. 
• Potatoes, if mashed, should be mashed with the fork. 
• Green corn should be eaten from the cob, but it must be held with a single hand. 
• Celery, cresses, radishes, and all that sort of thing, are, of course, to be eaten from the fingers; the salt should be laid upon one's plate, not upon the cloth. 
• Fish is to be eaten with the fork,without the assistance of the knife; a bit of bread in the left hand sometimes helps one to master a refractory morsel. 
• Berries, of course, are to be eaten with a spoon. 
• It is not proper to drink with a spoon in the cup; nor should one, by the way, ever quite drain the cup or glass. 
• Spoons are sometimes used with puddings, but forks are the better style. 
• A spoon should never be turned over in the mouth. 
• Ladies have frequently an affected way of holding the knife half way down its length, as if it were too big for their little hands, but this is as awkward a way as it is weak. The knife should be grasped freely by the handle only, the forefinger being the only one to touch the blade, and that only along the back of the blade at its root, and no further down. 
• In sending one's plate to be helped a second time, one should retain one's knife and fork, for the convenience of waiter and carver. 
• At the conclusion of a course, where they have been used, kuife and fork should be laid side by side on the plate, never crossed; the old custom of crossing them was in obedience to an ancient religious formula. 
• The servant should offer everything at the left of the guest, that the guest may be at liberty to use the right hand. 
• If one has been given a napkin-ring, it is necessary to fold one's napkin and use the ring; otherwise the napkin should be left unfolded. 
• One's teeth are not to be picked at the table; but if it is impossible to hinder it, it should be done behind the napkin. 
• One may pick a bone at the table, but, as with corn, only one hand is allowed to touch it; yet one can usually get enough from it with knife and fork, which is certainly the more elegant way of doing; to take her teeth to it gives a lady the look of caring a little too much for the pleasures of the table; one is, however, on no account to suck one's fingers after it. 
• Wherever there is any doubt as to the best way to do a thing, it is wise to follow that which is the most rational, and that will almost invariably be found to be the proper etiquette. – Harper’s Bazaar, 1879

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia