Good Manners Found in Happy Homes

“It is the greatest help to a girl when she goes out in the world to be able to feel at ease in society, to enter and leave a room gracefully and to find the right thing to say when her mother's friends speak to her.”

 

Happy Homes and Good Manners

 

It is the greatest mistake to think that manners are only for society and are to be set aside with our outdoor garments when we come home. If manners are meant to bide the unsightly side of human nature, to clothe the nakedness which shocks our highly cultivated sense of what is fitting, it is surely at home that this primitive aspect is most likely to obtrude, and it is just as shocking when displayed at our own fireside as to the world at large. 

If parents taught the sons of the house to be polite to their sisters and if they themselves were polite to each other, there would be fewer unhappy homes. Boys often think that manners are only meant for girls. but, they would be none the worse or less manly for knowing how to behave. While it is the greatest help to a girl when she goes out in the world to be able to feel at ease in society, to enter and leave a room gracefully and to find the right thing to say when her mother's friends speak to her. – From “Good Form,” 1911

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Young Folks, 1905

 

When school is over, go directly home. Do not linger in the school-yard to play.

Do not borrow anything if you can possibly avoid it. If you must borrow a book, paper or pencil, remember that you are making use of another person's property. Be careful not to injure the borrowed article, and return it at the earliest possible moment. Never forget to return anything you have borrowed. Remember that to keep what does not belong to you is dishonest.

When you have candy, share it with those about you. If you have an apple to eat at recess, give at least one bite to the girl or boy standing beside you. Be sure that you eat the apple during recess, and not in school hours.

Do not ask questions about what does not concern you. Never ask any personal question unless you are sure the person addressed will be perfectly willing to answer it. Do not ask what was paid for anything, especially an article of dress.

What about the school-yard? School begins at nine o'clock in the morning. You are not expected to be there until that time. You are not wanted in or about the school building an hour beforehand. If the teachers are there, they are busy, and have no time to look after you. Never get to school before half-past eight; really thoughtful pupils will stay away until a quarter before nine.

When school is over, go directly home. Do not linger in the school-yard to play.

The schoolroom is no place for rough or noisy manners of any kind. The bell rings for recess or the close of school, and out you go. You may go quickly, but this does not mean that you should rush out boisterously, push- ing those about you, and shouting. You could not imagine your fathers and mothers leaving church that way. They are gentlemen and gentlewomen such as you wish to become. —From “The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette,” 1905

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early 20th C. Etiquette for Children

Crossness at the table is the height of bad manners.

A gentleman or gentlewoman is always clean, and neatly dressed. This rule applies equally to the boy and girl. Neatness in dress is necessary to self-respect. If a girl owns but one hair ribbon and a single bit of lace, she can launder these herself, so that she may look neat. Work is perfectly respectable; untidiness is a disgrace. Any boy can own a ten-cent box of shoe-blacking. He can use it, too, blacking the heels of his shoes as well as the toes.

Before leaving your room after you are dressed, see that everything is in nice order. Spread the bedclothes over the foot of the bed. Shake up the pillows and place them on a chair. Then throw the window open wide. In winter, be sure that the register is closed or the steam turned off, so that no heat may be wasted while the room is being aired.

Give a cheery “Good-morning,” to every one you meet. Never mind whether there is sunshine or rain out- of-doors; carry sunshine with you wherever you go.

Be pleasant at the breakfast table. If you do not care for oatmeal and mother insists that it is good for you, eat it sensibly, without grumbling. If you do not like what is provided, either eat it or go without. In any case, be good-natured about it. Crossness at the table is the height of bad manners. —From “The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette,” 1905

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Rude Boy Worries Adults

Miss Bailey didn't nag or harass him about his rude conduct. She remembered to be courteous to him at all times. It was Chuck's responsibility to correct his conduct and not his teacher's. I commend Miss Bailey's method as constructive child guidance.

MOTHER is disturbed because her James is rude and discourteous. Mother thinks that at age 10 a boy should have better manners than to interrupt adult conversation. “I have scolded him time and again, but it seems to do no good.”

And scolding will never achieve your purpose, mother. Today I saw a new boy in our school behaving in the same way.

A child protested: “Chuck is getting mouthy again, Miss Bailey. I can't study when he starts that.” Chuck hastened to defend him- self. “Well, what if I did? What's so terrible about that? I don't talk any more than the others.”


PUPILS ASKED TO HELP
Miss Bailey saw that if Chuck conformed to the desires of his group, they would have to stimulate the desire for him to do so. She stopped, and asked how many children were willing to take time from their work to help Chuck come to an understanding with the group. “Why shouldn't Chuck talk when he likes?” she asked her class. “He says he doesn't see anything terrible about it. Why do you object, Fred?”

ATTITUDE OF CHILDREN
“It isn't terrible,” replied Fred, “but it's impolite because he talks when it disturbs us to listen.” “What do you think, Jane? You sit close to Chuck.”

“I think if we leave him alone that he ought to be fair with us. We don't talk when he reads or recites.”

Chuck wanted to argue about it, but group opinion proved too much for him. Finally the teacher asked him to write in his citizenship book the rule which the class adopted: “Talking out of turn is disrespectful and rude. It shows lack of consideration for the rights of others.”

BOY REACHES DECISION
Then she asked him to think it over and below the class rule write what he was going to do about it. He didn't write anything until near- ly recess time when he wrote delib- erately just two words: "Keep still." But in those two words Chuck committed himself to conform to his group, and his group will remind him if he errs. With wise guidance he will learn to refrain from annoying others and he will learn self-respect through group approval.

TEACHER SHOWS COURTESY Miss Bailey didn't nag or harass him about his rude conduct. She remembered to be courteous to him at all times. It was Chuck's responsibility to correct his conduct and not his teacher's. I commend Miss Bailey's method as constructive child guidance. – By James Samuel Lacy, 1933

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia