Scandinavian Etiquette Formalities

At the end of the Danish dinner party, the hostess will stand in the doorway and shake hands with every guest while he murmurs, “Thank you for the food”... Royal Copenhagen dinnerware– Photo source, Pinterest

Some feel that etiquette in Scandinavia is a thing to be dreaded, especially in Sweden. Even the former should address a person by his full diplomatic, political, professional or commercial title. Thus, one meets Mr. the Assistant to the Bank Manager Wirseen or Mr. the Former Manufacturer of Blood Sausage Olson. 

Denmark is far less formal, both in speech and attire, but at the end of the dinner party, the hostess will stand in the doorway and shake hands with every guest while he murmurs, “Thank you for the food,” to which she answers, “I hope it will become you well.” – Lompoc Review, 1930

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Scandinavian Skoaling Etiquette

The custom in Scandinavia is believed to have had its origins in the Stonge Age, and certainly can be traced back to the Vikings, say various historical sources. It is just as correct to skoal with water or with soft drink, as it is with still wine, champagne, the liqueurs, or the Scandinavian national beverages of beer and aquavit.

When “Skoaling” in Scandinavia,You’re Supposed to Use Your Eyes, Too

Copenhagen, Denmark (UPI) 
Lifting a glass to toast the health of dining companions is a custom prescribed in many countries of the world. In the United States, on informal occasions, the message to go with the toast usually is the simple “cheers.” Maybe the glasses are touched. This is the British toast too. In Germany, the toastmaster says “prosit.” In Italian, it’s “la sua salute.” In Spanish, “salud,” in French “a votre sante” and in Japanese, “kampaii.” 

In Scandinavia, the fine art of drinking to the health of friends has been polished and aged so well through the centuries, that to think of these Nordic peoples is to think almost automatically, of their “skaal,” or “skoal,” as it has been Anglicized. Fifteen women reporters from North and South America, Western Europe and Japan on a two weeks tour of Denmark, Norway and Sweden have been “skoaled” so , frequently that when we hear the salute to our good health we automatically lift a glass, look at our host and sip even if we’ve switched to mineral water. Matter of fact, it is just as correct to skoal with water or with soft drink, as it is with still wine, champagne, the liqueurs, or the Scandinavian national beverages of beer and aquavit.

The custom in Scandinavia is believed to have had its origins in the Stonge Age, and certainly can be traced back to the Vikings, say various historical sources. “Skaal” in Danish literally means bowl, and is a word earned over from ancient days when a guest or guests would be welcomed into a home by the host’s presentation of a bowl of grain or other food. Presenting the food was a symbol of friendship. The tradition held, but as time passed, beverages were substituted for the grain.

The proper way to “skoal,” the Danish Information Office says, is for the host first to raise a glass— no one sips before the host has offered the toast— and look around at the guests at the table, then directly into the eyes of one particular guest, say “skoal,” drink, then look into the same pair of eyes again. A guest may offer a skoal to his host, but never to the hostess. But the hostess may offer a “skoal” to the guests.

At a large dinner party, with say 25 or 30 persons present, this “skoaling” for each individual gets so long drawn out that usually the host offers that eye-to-eye “skoal” to one or two guests, then gives everyone a chance to sip without all the formalities, by offering what is known as the “round skoal.” This one is a toast offered to all at the table, and after that first sip and glance at the host or the person across the table from you guests may lift glasses without the repetition of “skoal” each time.

In Norway, one way to get the evening’s protocol out of the way rapidly, was to offer an all-embracing “skoal around the coast.’’ I asked one Danish gentleman if there was etiquette for “skoal” when a boy dates a girl. “The same rule applies,” he said, “The boy looks into her eyes, says 'skoal,' sips, and looks into her eyes again.” “Wonderful,” he said, “for abetting romance.” — The Desert Sun, 1963

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Swedish Social Etiquette

“Skål bror!” —  Or “Cheers brother!”

All through Sweden, social intercourse is encumbered with much ceremonious etiquette, particularly among the landed gentry. The three Scandinavian tongues employ the two personal pronouns “thou” and “you” the first familiarly, the second when speaking to a mere acquaintance. But a well-bred Swedish gentleman, addressing a stranger, will always, with old-fashioned courtesy, substitute the equivalent for, “Monsieur” regardless of harrowing repetitions, and where a title is demanded, even under the difficulties of rapid speech, it is never for a moment omitted. As such politesse, however, in the end becomes both monotonous and wearisome, they have a practical way of cutting the Gordian knot. When a casual acquaintanceship has ripened into genial sympathy or mutual respect your Swedish friend at once proposes a “brotherhood.” This is a distinct social ordeal, the initiation to which demands a special rite.

The man who has requested the honor of becoming your brother provides you with a glass of wine filled to the brim, he himself holding another; both rise, each linking the right arm of each, looking one another boldly in the eve and pronouncing the words “Skal bror,” the beakers are emptied. Hence you are expected to use the pronoun “thou,” and you take your stand on the footing of relationship. Among the reminiscences of this visit to Vermland is an evening when I acquired no less than six new and stalwart brothers. On the subject of ancient politesse, I should mention, by the way, that there is a well-known Swedish gentleman who always gives precedence to his own son, because “He has one ancestor more than his father.” – Cornhill Magazine, 1887

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Etiquette of 19th C. Norway

Stained glass of “Maid of Norway”: On the death of Alexander III, his only surviving descendant and the recognized heiress to Scotland was Margaret, known as the Maid of Norway.

In no land is hospitality more open-handed and more unaffected than in Norway, and, though these features are naturally becoming blunted along the beaten lines of travel, the genuine goodness of heart, fine “gentlemanly” feeling, and entire absence of that sordidness which is so often seen even in primitive regions, cannot fail to strike the unprejudiced observer. Nor is etiquette ignored by even the rudest of people. In the cities the stranger is apt to make many blunders. In the country, however, this is not less marked, though perhaps the visitor will be less conscious of its presence.

Every cup of coffee must be filled to overflowing; otherwise the host would be thought stingy.

One of the peculiarities of the Norwegian farmer is that, when visiting a friend, he must ignore all the preparations made for his entertainment. He will see the coffee roasted and the cups set out, and then, just when the good wife is about to offer him her hospitality, he gets up, bids the family good-bye, and is only persuaded to remain after some resistance. Every cup must be filled to overflowing; otherwise the host would be thought stingy. When milk, brandy or beer is offered, the guest invariably begs that it will not “be wasted on him,” and then, after emptying the cup, declares that — “it is too much” — going through the same formalities, it may be, three or four times. 

  

In the farmhouses or upland "saeters," the guest is left to eat alone, silver forks and spoons being often substituted for the carved wooden ones used by the family, and a fine white cloth for the bare board, which serves well enough on ordinary occasions. To a punctilious guest this may not be a drawback, for at the family table, as, indeed, among the peasants in Scandinavia everywhere, the different individuals dip their spoons into the same dishes of "grod" a sour milk; but for one desiring of studying a people, a load of foreign prejudice is a grievous burden to carry about.

In the farmhouses or upland “saeters,” the guest is left to eat alone, silver forks and spoons being often substituted for the carved wooden ones used by the family.

When a child is born the wife of every neighbor cooks a dish of “flodegrod” (porridge made with cream instead of milk), and bring it to the convalescent, there being a good deal of rivalry among the matrons to outdo each other in the quality and size of the dish. When any one has taken food in a Scandinavian house he shakes hands with the host and hostess in rising from the table, and says, “Tak for mad” (“Thanks for food”), to which they reply: “Vel bekomme” (“May it agree with you.'”)

Depiction of a Norwegian bride, 1899.

In many parts of Scandinavia all the guests shake hands with each other and repeat the latter formula; and in Norway, at least it is the fashion for a guest to call on the hostess a few days later, and when she appears, to gravely say : "Tak for sidst" ("Thanks for last time,") great gravity on this formal visit being a mark of good breeding. —From the Daly Alta California, 1886

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia