How to Eat Difficult Foods

This is a fun read with easy recipes and good tips on dining etiquette — CAVIAR & TOAST Using a small knife, lightly cover the end of the toast with caviar. Sometimes, caviar is served in small pots, in which case it should be eaten with a teaspoon. 

Impress your friends by tackling awkward and difficult food with confidence and professionalism! I have listed below a selection of notoriously difficult foods and suggest how I might tackle them:

ARTICHOKES Take off the leaves one at a time using your fingers, and dip the fleshy base of each leaf into the sauce provided. Strip off the flesh with your teeth and discard the rest on the edge of your plate. The leaves near the heart have no flesh. Eventually, the centre core will be exposed, then scrape away the thistle' at the base and eat the rest with a knife and fork.

ASPARAGUS Pick up each spear spear with your fingers and dip it in the sauce provided. There should be at least two bites before you get to the woody end - do not eat the last 5cm/2in of the stem place the end of the stem on the side of your plate, not the side plate.

CAVIAR & TOAST Using a small knife, lightly cover the end of the toast with caviar. Sometimes, caviar is served in small pots, in which case it should be eaten with a teaspoon.

CHEESE Never cut the tip off a wedge of cheese. Cut along the length, leaving the wedge in a similar shape. Use a hard steel-bladed knife for cutting hard cheese, and a smaller knife for soft cheese.

CORN ON THE COB Not the easiest food to eat in public. Small handles may have been provided at either end of the sweetcorn, thus enabling you to nibble away like a mouse! Otherwise pick up with your fingers. Have a napkin on hand for the dripping butter.

CRAB The meat will have been dressed and replaced in the shell. The claws may be served along with a nutcracker-style tool to crack them open, and a metal pick with which to pull out the meat from within the cavities.

LOBSTER Normally presented to you cut in half lengthways. The most difficult aspect of eating lobster is extracting the flesh from the claw. You will be provided with the correct implement to do this. It is a messy business, you should also be provided with an extra napkin and a finger bowl.

MUSSELS Usually you will be presented with a mountain of mussel shells, gaping open to reveal small orangy pieces of meat. Take a large shell and use it like a pair of tweezers to pull out the mussels from their shells. A separate bowl will be provided for the empty shells. You can use a fork if you prefer. Use a spoon to eat the remaining stock.

OYSTERS Squeeze lemon juice over the raw oyster, then use a small fork to detach it from its anchor and 'drink' the oyster from its shell.

PRAWNS (WHOLE) Pull off the head, detaching it from its shoulders. Turn over and peel away the shell, removing the egg sac and legs. The tail shell will detach easily and you will be left with the body to eat. A finger bowl and napkin will be provided for you to freshen your fingers.

SOUP Push the spoon away from you and sip from the spoon. Always tip the bowl away you, and never put the whole spoon in your from mouth.

SPAGHETTI Spear a fork into the spaghetti, and twist it round until a ball begins to form. As you eat from the fork, bite off all residual strands, letting them fall back on to the plate - you may want to use a spoon as well to help you.

WHITEBAIT These little fish are cooked whole and eaten just as they are - eyeballs included! — From “In the Royal Manner,” by Paul Burrell, 1999 

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette of Carving

In the 15th century, the art of carving properly at the table, was considered an important skill for men. Most early European cookbooks were more carving instructions than actual recipes. One’s reputation could be judged by how well he ceremoniously carved a roast at a large meal. — “The exact spot to begin carving a roast was governed by elaborate rules with slices from the larger beasts presented on a broad-bladed serving carver, cut into four bite-sized pieces held together by the fatty top strap. This was held in the hand, the pieces were chewed off, then it was thrown to the dogs. A thorough knowledge of carving was considered so important that before the golden spurs of knighthood could be granted, a period of noviciate had to be spent as a carving esquire. Carvers in royal and noble households tended to be aristocrats of lesser rank. A knight carved for a baron, a baron for an earl, an earl for a marquis, and so on. The Earls of Denbigh and Desmond are the Hereditary Grand Carvers of England and the Anstruther’s of that Ilk, the heritable Master Carvers to the Royal Household of Scotland. Such was the social gravitas attached to carving, that The Boke of Kervynge was published in 1500 by Wynkyn de Worde for the benefit of upwardly mobile Tudors at a time when few books were being printed at all.” ~ From the field.co.uk

If your husband complains when confronted with the Thanksgiving turkey - you might tell him that carving is the Art of Noblemen. 

In the Middle Ages, Edward IV of England was served by no less than five Royal Carvers, all noblemen of high degree. 

After the carving, correct etiquette for those times called for a sort of “grab and gobble” technique, without benefit of table cutlery! — Desert Sun, 1952

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette of a Palace Buffet

Traditionally the buffet was a means of impressing guests with the wealth and power of the monarch. In England the buffet has always been a purely decorative feature: although many of the items on the buffet were practical they were not intended to be used during the meal. The Venetian Ambassador to the court of Henry VIII in July 1517 wrote of a 'buffet 30 feet in length, 20 feet high, with silver vases and vases of gold, worth vast treasure, none of which was touched'.

At Buckingham Palace the Ballroom is decorated with two large buffets of silver gilt from the Grand Service. On display are pieces such as 17th-century candle sconces; huge dishes decorated with biblical or mythological scenes; monumental flasks, jeweled cups, ivory tankards, silver-gilt bowls and dishes. These lamps in the form of phoenixes were originally intended to warm plates or dishes supported on their outspread wings.

Traditionally the buffet was a means of impressing guests with the wealth and power of the Monarch. In England, the buffet has always been a purely decorative feature: although many of the items on the buffet were practical they were not intended to be used during the meal. The Venetian Ambassador to the court of Henry VIII in July 1517 wrote of a 'buffet 30 feet in length, 20 feet high, with silver vases and vases of gold, worth vast treasure, none of which was touched'.

George IV created extraordinarily lavish buffets. The Shield of Achilles — an enormous piece of silver gilt 90 cm (35 in) in diameter and cast with Apollo in his chariot riding forth from the centre was created for his coronation banquet and was prominently displayed on the buffet. The tradition was continued by later monarchs.— From “The Royal Table: Dining at the Palace,” 2008

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dining with British Royalty

A typical 19th century “game plate.” – The “game course” was once a staple of fine dining and expensive sets of “game plates” were purchased by fastidious hosts and hostesses, to serve the game on to each of their dinner guests. In Gilded Age dining, after the roast course, the game course was next in order (if it was included, as it generally was in an elaborate dinner). Celery was the appropriate accompaniment of the game course. The salad was sometimes served with the game; otherwise it followed as a course by itself. According to gunsonpegs.com, the Pheasant Shooting season runs from the 1st October – 1st February in Great Britain, however in Northern Ireland the Pheasant Shooting season runs from the 1st October – 31st January.

The Ever-Present Pheasant

There can be no doubt about pheasant being the favorite game dish of the Queen and Prince Philip, and when in season it appears repeatedly on the Royal menu. For this reason there is always a large number of pheasants stored in the giant deep-freeze, which the Queen had installed in the palace kitchens some years ago. Previous to this, selected game and fish were sent to several deep-freeze stores in London for the palace kitchens to draw upon when required. 

In addition to pheasant, the Queen's chefs keep a healthy supply of game deep-frozen in readiness, as seen from this typical palace list:

• 55 pheasants 

• 33 partridges 

• 21 woodcock 

• 20 grouse 

• 3 snipe 

• sand grouse 

• venison

• 33 salmon 

• 4 lb prawns 

• 2 lobsters

At Balmoral and Sandringham the success of the hunting and shooting on the moors and fields always has a direct bearing on the main course for dinner which is why grouse, venison, pheasant and partridge appear in a variety of forms with great regularity. After the Court returned to London from Balmoral, the Royal family would also hold regular shooting parties in Windsor Great Park. 

An individual “bird knife and fork” in the Chantilly sterling pattern. The game course could consist of partridge, pheasant, duck, woodcock, snipe or other popular birds eaten in the 1800's. The steel-bladed bird knife was the forerunner of the stainless steel, steak knife we know today, after a serrated edge was added.

In the days of Edward VII there were lavish supplies of hot food for the Royal shooting parties, even though it was relatively simple by his standards. A typical picnic lunch might consist of mulligatawny soup and Scotch broth, stewed mutton, hashed venison, Irish stew and game pies. For dessert there would be plum pudding and apple tart. – From the book, “Dinner at Buckingham Palace”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Mutual Regard at Table

A desire for fresh smelling breath? Food allergies? Or “pickiness?”– “There are certain foods Queen Elizabeth has restricted palace chefs from using and advised other royals against eating. Garlic is apparently the ingredient she dislikes most. 

It’s been long rumored that the Queen hates garlic and banned palace chefs from cooking with it, and the Queen’s daughter-in-law, Camilla Parker Bowles, Duchess of Cornwall, confirmed the royal family is indeed not supposed to eat garlic...

 Another cooking ingredient largely off the royal table is onions. It is unclear if chefs are advised to keep them away from the Queen (and the rest of the royal family) due to because of smell or taste, but cooks are permitted to use onions sparingly. Darren McGrady, a former royal chef who worked at Buckingham Palace for more than 15 years, told Recipes Plus that cooks ‘can never serve anything with garlic or too many onions.’ ‘The Queen would never have garlic on the menu,’ he added. Certain ingredients used to cook up dishes aren’t the only things reportedly off limits. Members of the royal family aren’t supposed to eat shellfish of any kind—due to the higher risk of food poisoning—or meat that's cooked rare, according to a 2000 BBC report. Long pasta and tomato sauces shouldn’t grace the royal dinner table unless it’s for a very specific special occasion.” – Newsweek, 2018 

NEW YORK – Few situations are more discouraging for a host or hostess than to prepare a wonderful meal, only to find there is a guest who cannot or will not eat one or several of the dishes prepared. Few situations are more embarrassing or uncomfortable for a guest than to have to struggle with food he or she detests, or to refuse it for reasons of health. Both situations could be avoided easily if there were a few simple rules of etiquette developed to forestall them. Etiquette, in the best sense, exists to prevent embarrassment or awkwardness, and with so many people now on special diets, some rules for discovering and accommodating the restrictions are needed. There are, of course, basic differences between not liking something and not being able to eat it because of health. The basic question is one of fixing responsibility.


Should a host or hostess ask every guest in advance what he or she does not like or cannot eat? Or should guests volunteer that information when invited? Telling a host that you do not like a certain ingredient or dish is difficult and possibly rude, because it is presumptuously asking for special attention. But years ago, after preparing ratatouille for a dinner party, I discovered, too late, that one guest hated both eggplant and zucchini. That guest did not create a problem, because there were many other things to eat, but I felt badly because I could easily have prepared a different vegetable dish. Since then, I always ask guests whose food tastes I do not know, if there is anything they hate. Among the more surprising answers have been chicken, liver and other organs, lamb, fish, mushrooms, eggplant and even garlic, although when I come across someone who does not like that odoriferous bulb, I consider severing the friend ship at once. But when a prospective guest cannot eat an ingredient because he or she is allergic to it or seriously ill, it would seem that it is the responsibility of that person to offer that information.


If, for example, someone has been told to cut down on salt, that person might choose to eat just a small amount of a particular dish made with salt at a dinner party. On the other hand if the elimination of salt (or cholesterol or milk products or eggs) is critical, then the guest should make that known. Those on reducing diets might refrain from saying so and just eat small amounts, passing up the the most fattening dishes. But if the quick loss of weight is imperative, they might say so and offer to bring their own poached breast of chicken to the party. Anyone violently allergic to some commonly used (and perhaps uncommonly used) ingredient should also let that be known. – By Mimi Sheraton, New York Times News Service, 1983

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Dining Etiquette Brief

It is not etiquette to eat while the King is not doing so. Due to the King’s shorter dinners in 1913, a third of the wine was not drunk that used to be drunk at fashionable British tables.

King’s Dinner Guests Drinking Less Wine Now

Ruler, an Indigestion Sufferer, Causes Banquets to be Much Shorter

Dinners grow shorter each season. King Edward VII was the first to set the cult of the brief dinner and King George V, who, in spite of the greatest care, is still dyspeptic, cuts them shorter still, as he does not taste half the courses and consequently it is not etiquette to eat while the King is not doing so. A third of the wine is not drunk that used to be drunk at fashionable tables.– London, 23 February, 1913

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Glove Etiquette Ignored by Queen

Despite the Victorian era news reports of Queen Victoria’s odd habits, modern depictions of her do not give an accurate picture. Her non-adherence to the commonly accepted glove etiquette of the day is never accurately represented or discussed.

Queen Victoria at Dinner

The strict ceremonial of the dinners of Queen Victoria has not changed since her assumption of the throne. A quarter of an hour before the time fixed for the repast —generally eight o’clock—all the party invited to dine with the Queen meet in the Grand Salon and form themselves into a half circle about the door where her august Majesty is presently expected to enter. The Queen, on entering, makes a beautiful courtesy, (for which she is renowned, then bows to the gentlemen, and gives her hand to the ladies, who courtesy deeply. She then goes in first to table, accompanied generally by one of her sons. 

If any Imperial or Royal person is present, he sits at her right hand. But even in the ease of Gen. Grant, she placed the Princess Beatrice between them. The Queen never removes her gloves during dinner, except at state banquets. This is a singular piece of etiquette, and one would think it would be exactly the reverse. Her gloves are new, of white kid, embroidered with black, never worn but once, and become, after using, the perquisites of the Ladies-in-Waiting.

 The Queen has a small and beautiful hand. As soon as she finishes a certain “plat’’ every one else stops, as when she finishes her fish every one else stops eating fish, etc... After she has spoken to her guests on either side conversation may become general, but in a subdued tone, always deferring to the Sovereign. Sir Arthur Helps, who was her private secretary, used to tell an amusing anecdote of being snubbed by her for telling a rather funny story down the table, amongst the Ladies-in-Waiting, to relieve the monotony of a rather dreary dinner, when the Queen remarked, — “What is it? We are not amused.” She has, however, a love of fun, and sometimes laughs heartily. – The Morning Union, 1888

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of British Royal Dining

Don't think about asking the Queen to “Please pass the salt.” She has her own salt dip, or salt cellar, and it is not part of the 2,000 plus silver pieces used for a State Dinner. The Queen’s is a salt dip that was made by Nicholas Clausen in 1721

If by chance there is ever an opportunity for you to go to dinner with HRH at the palace, here are a few things you may find interesting... The silver service (aka “The Grand Service”) is so large, and so complete with every type of utensil imaginable, it takes eight (yes... eight) palace employees at least three weeks to get ready for setting on the tables. Though the Grand Service is kept by the Yeoman of the Silver Pantry (that is the actual title) in a controlled atmosphere, each piece still needs to be washed, shined and polished to perfection prior to a State Dinner.

Don't think about asking the Queen to “Please pass the salt.” She has her own salt dip, or salt cellar, and it is not part of the 2,000 plus silver pieces used for  a State Dinner. The Queen's is a salt dip that was made by Nicholas Clausen in 1721.

Page from the excellent book, “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace”

All of this comes from a wonderful book entitled “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace” and was created by “The Royal Collection” in Great Britain. It includes historic menus, royal traditions, the silver, the crystal, the china... everything the royal family has used for the past 500 years. From the Royal Collection website, in 2008 announcing the publication of the book there is this... “The style of dining has changed considerably over the centuries, as can been seen from the elaborate menus and recipes from past royal banquets. At a lavish dinner given by Charles II for the Garter Knights at Windsor Castle in 1671, guests were served 145 dishes during the first course, and the catering included 16 barrels of oysters, 2,150 poultry, 1,500 crayfish, 6,000 asparagus stalks and 22 gallons of strawberries” and much more.

The book shows the finger bowls set out with the accompanying knife, fork and spoon, for the dessert or fruit course.

Menu for the Wedding Breakfast of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1923

The table gets the white glove treatment.

 And the white bootie treatment too, for walking the length of the table, checking on perfection. 

Here is more from “The Royal Collection” website: “Contemporary photographs show how Royal Household staff, including chefs, footmen, pages, florists and housemaids, guarantee the highest standards of presentation at a State Banquet. The laying of the table begins two days before the dinner, and each place-setting measures exactly 45cm (18in) across. During the meal, a system of ‘traffic lights’ keeps the team of footmen and pages synchronised; a blue light communicates ‘stand by’ and an amber light signals ‘serve the food’. Each guest has six glasses (one each for red wine, white wine, water and port, and two for champagne – one for the toast and one for the pudding course). A diagram of the arrangement of the glasses guides those who are unfamiliar with the sequence of service.

From the Royal Photograph Collection is a charming series of portraits of Queen Victoria’s footmen and pages, many of whom had started in royal service under her uncle, William IV. Serving food in a royal palace presented particular challenges. Staff were instructed that ‘trays must be kept level so that there is no spilling of gravy or sauces’. At Windsor Castle every dish had to be carried up narrow stairs from the Great Kitchen to the State Apartments. The chefs always made twenty extra dishes for each course in case of a disaster. Following the devastating fire of 1992, the restoration of the Castle included a complete refitting of the kitchen quarters, adding lifts to deliver the food. Royal Household staff still prepare food in the Great Kitchen, the oldest working kitchen in England, where traditional copper pots from reign of George IV stand alongside high-tech catering equipment.” The book is a great read for anyone following the Royal Family or who is interested in history. 

This post was previously posted on the Etiquette Sleuth Blogspot in 2011 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and the Royal Breakfast

 The Prince of Wales’ set recently adopted the idea from the French and all London’s rapidly taking up the custom! – No doubt the Americans who have gone to England to help celebrate the Queen's Jubilee will return imbued with the idea that soup for breakfast is the only proper and polite thing. The custom has long been prevalent in France, and is now being introduced in London.

The Prince’s New Breakfast 

The Prince of Wales Has Recently Set the Fashion 

No doubt the Americans who have gone to England to help celebrate the Queen's Jubilee will return imbued with the idea that soup for breakfast is the only proper and polite thing. The custom has long been prevalent in France, and is now being introduced in London. “At all the first-class cafés in Paris,” says a gentleman recently returned from the other side, “the patrons can get soups of various kinds for breakfast, and a great many Parisians sip soup before putting anything more substantial in their stomachs. In London, two months ago, Henry White, the swell secretary of the American legation, invited me to breakfast, and the first thing on the menu was soup. He told me that the Prince of Wales’ set had recently adopted the idea from the French and that all London was rapidly taking up the custom.” 

Mr. White set the pace for Americans over there, and whether or not he entertains all of his countrymen who are flocking to the Queen’s Jubilee, he can introduce enough of them to this new fad to cause the whole outfit to come back home singing its praises. “It is really one of the most sensible gastronomic innovations I can imagine. Soup, when properly made, is both soothing and stimulating. The over-taxed stomach of the average American needs both to be soothed and stimulated the first thing in the morning. Therefore, I look for the soup idea to become immediately popular when it is brought over by our tourists. Doubtless they will invent a name for it, as the fashionable folk of this country are afraid to risk their standing among the gourmets by eating for breakfast a dish with so plain and vulgar a name as ‘soup’.” – Los Angeles Herald, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia