Art and Etiquette of Afternoon Tea

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close.

The British Afternoon Tea Ceremony

Around the world, the ritual of tea is known as one of the most cherished and meaningful moments to enjoy a good infusion, alone or in company. It is well known that this precious beverage spread from China to all of Europe precisely from Great Britain, becoming a fundamental part of English life. However, not everyone knows that there are very specific rules that should be followed.

First of all, you need to choose a good loose-leaf tea and steep it in boiling water — depending on the type of infusion chosen — for three to six minutes. For each guest, the teapot should contain one teaspoon of loose-leaf tea, plus one extra “for the pot.” Separately, of course, there will be the sugar bowl and milk jug. And what about lemon? The English almost never use lemon, substituting it with milk. Do you know why? Not for a reason that’s fundamentally about taste, but for a logistical one to solve a serious problem: at one time, English teacups couldn’t withstand the heat of the tea and would break. To get around this problem, the English started putting the milk in the cup first to cool down the hot tea that would be poured in right after. 

Naturally, after 1700, with the founding of historic companies like Wedgwood, Spode, Minton, etc…, the materials used were able to keep cups from cracking under heat thanks to the use of kaolin, effectively leading to the birth of porcelain and bone china. Afternoon tea, thanks to Anna Maria Russell, Duchess of Bedford, people began to accompany the drink with both sweet and savory bites. It’s no coincidence that a three-tiered plate is served with very specific foods: on the first tier, the lowest one, sandwiches made with white and brown bread are served, filled with chicken, eggs, salmon, etc…

On the second tier, buns sometimes studded with raisins called scones are served; they are split in half by hand, never with a knife, and filled with clotted cream and strawberry jam. In reality, there’s a historic dispute between Devonshire, which says you should put the clotted cream on first and then the jam, and Cornish, which says you should spread the jam first and then the clotted cream. The latter is a sort of butter-cream similar to mascarpone that is really hard to find in many countries.

Above, a patent for a gilded age “Sandwich Plate” by Haviland. The “sandwich set” with plate and cup has a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries.

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close. Many hotels around the world recreate this ritual, adding the option to serve Prosecco or champagne. The most interesting thing, though, is seeing what tools have been invented to fill the table with dishware and surprise the guests. Among the cups, for example, there’s the “mustache cup,” which has ceramic or porcelain ledges to keep mustaches from getting dirty, or the “luncheon set” or “sandwich set,” which have a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries. 

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials. In short, it’s a ritual that becomes an experience and can be compared to the beauty of the Japanese, Chinese, French, New Zealand, or Italian tea ceremony.

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials.

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest. Very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti, Petra is happily married to well-known wine and food aficionado, journalist and author, Carlo Cambi and together they have one daughter. Her books Galatime and Galatime II are full of etiquette and entertaining advice.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Petra Carsetti’s 10 Commandments of Italian Dinner Party Etiquette

Use utensils correctly: Remember that pasta is not skewered but is lifted with a fork and then brought to the mouth. 

1. Be a good host or hostess: The most important rule is to be welcoming and empathetic. People will remember much more feeling of a beautiful evening spent, than the correct position of the cutlery. 
2. Listen to your table guests: As a good host or hostess, try to steer the conversation so that everyone feels like part of the discussion. Banned topics at the table are health, disease, politics, sports, death. Better to talk about topics that unite and do not divide like time, a journey, a good book, a film, an exhibition ... 
3. Pass to the right: Be ready to pour water and wine, or to pass  dishes to those who sit next to us. Usually it should be the man who does this first, with the woman sitting on his right. 
4. Keep the table clutter free: Mobile phones should not be placed upon, or at the table. (This currently applies to covid masks as well) Mobile phones should be silenced and placed in pockets or handbags. If you receive a call (on silent ringtone) try to answer only for emergencies and do so quietly with minimal disruption at the table. The other guests do not need to hear the whole conversation. 
5. Use good manners: Eat without calling attention to yourself. One should develop good habits like chewing with the mouth closed and not “talking to the bite,” (speaking all the way until another bite of food goes into your mouth,) or playing/gesticulating with the cutlery. 
6. Dine without fuss: Do not blow on hot dishes, but wait a few seconds for them to cool. 
7. Practice good posture: To eat, do not bring your head and mouth toward the plate but bring your food to your mouth, while keeping your posture erect.
8. Don’t rock out: Do not rock back and forth in the chair, but sit composed. Your wrists and hands should be visible on the table, but never your elbows.
9. Use utensils correctly: Remember that pasta is not skewered but is lifted with a fork and then brought to the mouth. 
10. Toast elegantly: Keep your glass rim clean if you are going to make a toast. Use your napkin to dab your mouth, before and after drinking if necessary. Do not clink glasses and please do not say “cin cin.” You can make a more thoughtful toast with your own words and looking in the eyes of the people with whom you are toasting.

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, and in September she will come out with her new book, “GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Italian Place-Setting Etiquette for Wines

A semi-formal place setting example from the new Italian etiquette book, by Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi,
“GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

Taking as a reference the arrangement assumed by sommeliers (now more in vogue and certainly more used today) it must be specified that the water glass is placed in front of the tip of the main knife because it is a simple tumbler and has no stem: a low glass (that's why in the front row) which will be followed by the second-order glasses of service, starting therefore from those for the white and then for the reds (gradually more and more structured). 

In this case, in order to better enhance the organoleptic properties of the wines and their scents, glasses of different shapes and sizes are set, both for whites and reds such as tulip or balloon (the latter must be placed at the table at the time of serving the specific wine and not before). If you follow the rules of the sommelier, the “battery” of the glasses should be made up of at least six different containers for the wine (which must not be set all together but with a maximum of 3 glasses.) – Translated from “Galatime,” by Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, and in September she will come out with her new book, “GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia