Confusion Over Respiratory Etiquette

 

Disgusted? You are not alone! Why Ms. Millett doesn’t know about respiratory etiquette is a mystery to Etiquipedia. Any good etiquette book has good manners regarding coughs and sneezes.— “If ‘stay at home with a cold’ were a definite rule of etiquette instead of just a health rule, maybe more of us would pay attention to it. After all, more people break health rules than eat with their knives or otherwise defy the rules of etiquette.

It Shouldn't Happen!

If “stay at home with a cold” were a definite rule of etiquette instead of just a health rule, maybe more of us would pay attention to it. After all, more people break health rules than eat with their knives or otherwise defy the rules of etiquette. As it is now, a guest will come to a party and in between a cough and a sneeze, explain to anyone who cares to listen how she really should be home in bed, but she just didn't feel she could let her hostess down at the last minute. Other guests must accept her graciously, expose themselves to her germs and take home colds of their own as a memento of the party.

That wouldn't happen if the “cold spreader” was frowned upon socially, and “stay at home with a cold” was a real and definite rule of etiquette. After all, why shouldn't it be considered really bad manners to go to a party with a cold? The guest with a cold is certainly not a sparkling addition to any party. And she or he is a very real menace to the health, of the other guests. The guest with a cold who. says proudly, “I really should be at home in bed” is telling the truth. She SHOULD be. And there's probably not a soul in the room who doesn't wish that she was. — By Ruth Millett, 1948

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Manners For Sniffle Season

He Goofed! This young lady is not waiting to see if his germs are Asian or domestic. She’s ducking fast!

Winter, the germiest season of all, has arrived in many parts of the world. All in all, the times seems ripe to review germ etiquette: 

• When you sneeze or cough, cover your mouth with a handkerchief. 
• If there isn't time, at least muffle the explosion with your hand, turning your head away from the nearest person.
• Blowing your nose at the dinner table is permissible, but don't make a production of it and don't apologize; the latter merely calls attention to the act. 
• If your cold is a whopper, carry extra handkerchiefs.
• Fastidious souls are offended at the sight of a battle-worn hankie, and even non-fastidious souls don't enjoy seeing one bloom from someone's breast pocket. Once used, a breast handkerchief stops being picturesque. 
• P.S. to tissue users: Don't blow and throw. How many litter with tissue debris? Alas, too many. 
•  Q & A on P's & Q's 

(Q) “Is it passe to ask guests if they want to wash hands before dinner?” Mrs. S.J., Cleveland 
(A) Until germs are passé, asking will never be.

 

—Portions taken from Don Goodwin‘s ‘Male Polish,’ 1957

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Contagious Diseases

They are kind of cute! — “Why don’t the contagious among us stay home or wear those cute little paper nose and mouth covers or at least feel bad about putting the rest of us at risk of sharing their misery? More people died in the post-World War I influenza epidemic than died in the war. Garden variety flu germs can be life-threatening to the elderly or those with vulnerable respiratory systems.”
— Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

In 1998, the State of California banned indoor smoking in many public places, much to the delight of non-smokers and those suffering from respiratory problems. A law professor from UC Berkley wrote the following article, which appeared in the Los Angeles Times. The importance of respiratory etiquette that the professor outlined is timely, considering the world continues to deal with Covid-19 and our normal “cold and flu season” is nearly upon us.

Thank You for Not Sneezing

California’s assault on secondhand smoke reached its historic high this New Year’s, when even indoor areas in bars and casinos became smoke-free by force of law. The rules on smoke exposure have taken a 180-degree turn in less than a generation. In the United States of my youth, every citizen was hostage to other people’s cigarettes in airplanes, in offices and in almost every other public space. Now the indoor areas of public life are all nonsmoking zones— an inconvenience for the 25% of adults who smoke, but a benefit of large proportions to the respiratory systems of the 75% who do not.

But even smoke-free California is not a safe place to take your lungs to the office, on a bus or anywhere else in public. In this the season of cold and flu, the greatest hazard of appearing in public is not tobacco smoke, but rather contagious disease. And strangers who would not dream of blowing smoke in your face seem happy enough about coughing and sneezing whenever they see you coming.

Isn’t there a double standard here, when the same folks prohibited from smoking in my office building can sneeze me home for a week of hell with the reigning bacterium of the season? Why don’t the contagious among us stay home or wear those cute little paper nose and mouth covers or at least feel bad about putting the rest of us at risk of sharing their misery?

Could it be that the analogy between secondhand smoke and free-flying germs is farfetched because tobacco is deadly while colds are merely inconvenient? Nonsense. More people died in the post-World War I influenza epidemic than died in the war. Garden variety flu germs can be life-threatening to the elderly or those with vulnerable respiratory systems, a much quicker and much clearer threat than the statistical associations and 30-year time lags that constitute the case against environmental tobacco smoke. And anyone who thinks that this year’s killer colds are merely inconvenient does not have one. The only larger harm a stranger can inflict requires a deadly weapon.

Is the difference between environmental smoke and environmental germs the fact that there is no way to protect against disease contagion that is as simple as not smoking? But what if sick people stay home or cover their mouths? I am sure it is a burden to take such precautions, but isn’t the whole point of our smoking restrictions to impose the inconvenience on those who would otherwise cause harm?

Perhaps the difference is that potential victims can defend themselves more easily from public germs than from secondhand smoke. There are, after all, flu shots to be had every fall. But not all flu bugs respond to the shots available. And if anybody ever finds a vaccine that protects against colds, the financial rewards will make Bill Gates seem middle class. The only way to avoid the urban germ highway is to live alone and stay home all winter.

I’m not advocating passing a law that requires germ-free public spaces. But two smaller lessons do come from the contrasting treatment of germs and cigarettes. The first lesson is that what we tolerate in public is much more a matter of particular social expectation than scientific studies. The French read scientific journals just as assiduously as do Americans, yet the average French café contains more smoke than a forest fire. You are more likely to encounter a face full of tobacco smoke if you go to Japan this year than you would in Los Angeles. But you will also notice hundreds of people on the subway in Japan who wear paper masks to avoid spreading contagious disease that they carry. Which culture is more considerate depends on the particular subject of the inquiry. The standard for what is polite in public varies tremendously from one social setting to another.

Now for the optimistic lesson. If the social customs concerning secondhand smoke can change over time, maybe there is hope for some controls on germs as well. What we need is not a law, but an etiquette of contagious disease. Perhaps the near future can bring us to a standard where we expect more effort from ourselves and one another to avoid multiplying the bacterial miseries of our winters. — Franklin E. Zimring, U.C. Berkley, 1998

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

What is Covid-Etiquette?

Recently I surveyed a number of people to ascertain their views on Covid-19. Some weren't so concerned, feeling that it is just one virus amongst many that will eventually go away. Others are, understandably, on high alert, concerned and taking all necessary precautions. However, everyone understood the need for respiratory etiquette and social distancing at this time.  Many are wearing gloves to add an extra layer of protection, as well as a reminder not to touch their faces. 

What is Covid-Etiquette?

Covid-19 is a coronavirus that can cause significant respiratory illness especially in the aged and those with chronic disease. As a pandemic, its effects have touched every corner of the globe, and our lives have been changed. We can't work, go to school, play and interact in the same ways as before - we must distance ourselves socially in order to protect ourselves and others. Thus, we've needed to adapt to a new set of social etiquette rules:

The Delayed Greeting:

Recently I surveyed a number of people to ascertain their views on Covid-19. Some weren't so concerned, feeling that it is just one virus amongst many that will eventually go away. Others are, understandably, on high alert, concerned and taking all necessary precautions. However, everyone understood the need for respiratory etiquette and social distancing at this time.  Many are wearing gloves to add an extra layer of protection, as well as a reminder not to touch their faces. 

With this in mind, handshakes are on pause everywhere. When making an introduction, wait for a few seconds and observe the person you are greeting and allow how they want to greet you. You may be the person who will initiate the introduction. If so, use open body language, smile your acknowledgement, wave and promptly make an introduction, perhaps a small nod. The other person may want to just say a verbal greeting or an elbow bump or foot tap. (Tip or side of each elbow/tapping on someone shoe side on).

‘The Elbow Bump or Foot Tap’:

For those who do not mind very minimal contact, then the elbow bump may be in order. When doing so, you can have your face positioned to the side to minimise being in their personal space.

Personal Space:

Most cultures have ideals about personal space. In many western cultures personal space is estimated to be the space approximately 70cm around a person. Governmental authorities are advising today to keep at least 1.5m away. So when a person is talking to you, or positioned close to you, take note and move yourself to ensure a greater personal space.

You may be the one enclosed by a few people and feel uncomfortable. If you do, don't hesitate to politely speak up and remind others gently about the need to be distanced from each other. You may choose to quietly remove yourself from the situation.

Use Good Hygiene:

This will help prevent spread of the virus and other microbes.  Use soap and alcohol gel extensively. If you feel you are about to sneeze and there are no tissues available in that moment, use the inner side of your elbow to “catch” the sneeze. Then go to wash your hands and wipe your face. Most local governments have websites with helpful health procedures that one can follow as directed.

Wearing a Face Mask:

Given that Covid-19 is passed primarily through droplets (when breathing, talking, coughing, sneezing), wearing a face mask has become de rigueur worldwide. It has been enforced by regulations in many enclosed and non-enclosed public spaces, depending on what country or city you are in. Therefore, protect your community and yourself by keeping a few face masks handy at home, in the car, your bag or back pocket. For example, in his latest media release, Daniel Andrews, State Premier for Victoria, Australia, stated that from 22nd July 2020, face masks are mandatory and anyone caught not wearing a face covering will be fined $200.

Simply put, etiquette demonstrates care, concern and kindness for yourself and others. It has never been more important on a personal, and global scale. By using the gestures listed here, you can help stop the spread of Covid-19.

Personal Information:

Revealing whether or not you have tested positive for Covid-19 is a personal choice, but only to a certain extent. If you have been advised by your physician to tell those you have been in contact with, of your positive test result, you have an obligation to do so in order for them to seek out medical assistance. But what if it is a friend or family member who has tested positive? Do you have the right or the obligation to tell others who may come into contact with them? 

There is a very fine line between personal privacy and public safety. If someone is sick and knowingly goes out in public, exposing everyone to something like Covid-19, which is so highly contagious, they need to extend the courtesy to others of letting them know. If they do not extend this simple courtesy, and you know the person who is contagious actually has tested positive for Covid-19, others may be furious with you for not letting them know. In this case, the law may require you to disclose this information. 

If it is not a legal requirement to say that you, or someone you know, has or has not tested positive for Covid-19, use your common sense and discretionary powers to decide how much information you wish to give. Keep in mind, however, your obligations in the workplace versus those in your family or social circles, are considerably different. 

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

CDC Respiratory Etiquette

How they practiced respiratory etiquette during Hollywood’s Golden Age — Photo source, Pinterest  

The national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) urge all individuals to observe “respiratory etiquette” to prevent the spread of infectious diseases, including influenza (flu), colds and pneumonia.

The principles of respiratory etiquette are simple:

1. Cover your nose and mouth when coughing or sneezing. Do this either with a tissue or your inner elbow.
2. Wash your hands frequently. This is the single most important thing you can do to stop the spread of disease.
3. In a hospital or medical setting, masks should be worn by anyone who has symptoms of respiratory infection (cough, fever). If you are in a waiting room and have these symptoms, please ask for a mask to wear so that others will not get sick. —Anne Arundel Medical Center, 2018

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

German and Austrian Etiquette and Public Kissing

A kiss on the cheek is common in France, but will it become a thing of the past in German workplaces?

A kiss on the cheek is common in France, but will it become a thing of the past in German workplaces?

A society in Germany which advises on etiquette and social behaviour has called for kissing to be banned in the workplace.

The Knigge Society says the practice of greeting colleagues and business partners with a kiss on the cheek is uncomfortable for many Germans.

The society's chairman, Hans-Michael Klein, says he has received concerned emails from workers on the issue.

He advises people in the workplace to stick to the traditional handshake.

Speaking to the BBC, he admitted it would be impossible to ban kissing in the workplace outright.

“But we have to protect people who don't want to be kissed," Mr Klein added.

“So we are suggesting that if people don't mind it, they announce it with a little paper message placed on their desk.”

Mr Klein said he had received 50 emails in 2011 alone on the rise of kissing on the cheek - sometimes both cheeks - as a greeting at work.

“People say this is not typical German behaviour,” he said.

In 2013, transit riders in Vienna Austria, were told they would start facing a $70 fine and being pulled off transit trains if they kiss, consume smelly food, or yack too loudly on cellphones. Spokesperson for Wiener Linien, the company that runs Vienna's public transport claims: "Our controllers are well trained to recognize what disturbs other passengers." Vienna transit riders apparently like to flaunt convention. One couple was caught having sex. There are reports of naked passengers, and one passenger even nudged his pet horse on board. Discipline will be enforced by specially-appointed sheriffs. The company decided to impose the fines after it conducted a survey of their customers' pet peeves. 
–From Digital Journal

Forgot his kissing etiquette?: The UK's George Osborne and Denmark's Economy Minister Margrethe Vestager lean in for an awkward embrace. Acknowledging their embarrassing error, Mr. Osborne and Ms Vestager made a quick recovery, turning their heads for a more customary kiss on the cheek. “It is not proper, according to strict etiquette, to give the kiss of greeting in public places; but when near relatives or cherished friends do choose thus to greet each other, the kiss should be exchanged unobtrusively and with dignity; conversation on private matters should be conducted in subdued tones, and a well-bred gravity--quite consistent with cheerfulness--should characterize the manner.” 
–Agnes H. Morton “Etiquette” 1892

“It has come from places like Italy, France and South America, and belongs in a specific cultural context. We don't like it, they say.”

The society held a meeting on the issue, and carried out a survey of people both on the street and at their seminars, he said.

“Most people said they didn't like it. They feel there is somehow an erotic aspect to it - a form of body contact which can be used by men to get close to a woman.”

He said there is, in Europe, a “social distance zone” of 60cm (23in) which should be observed.

The Knigge Society, named after a German guide to good manners, is based in a castle 80km (50 miles) from Dortmund in western Germany.

Adolph Franz Friedrich Ludwig Freiherr Knigge (1752 –1796) was a German writer and Freemason, most famous for his book Über den Umgang mit Menschen [On Human Relations]. Although the work is more of a philosophical treatise on the basis of human relations than a how-to guide to etiquette, the German term “Knigge” has come to mean “good manners”.

It has reportedly previously ruled on the correct way to end a relationship via text message, and how to deal with a runny nose in public.

– Compiled from a variety of sources including DigitalJournal.com and Agnes H. Morton’s, “Etiquette” 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia