Italian Hand Kiss Etiquette

An Italian man kisses the right hand of his mother, aunt or elderly friend and the left hand of his sweetheart.

If the woman who visits Rome wishes to follow tradition and “do as the Romans do,” she will be careful never to take her escort’s arm in a Catholic church. Indeed, the guides instruct those who stroll innocently arm in arm about St. Peter’s looking at the pictures, frescoes and altars of that wonderful cathedral, that they are committing an impropriety. Italians are very particular about the etiquette of kissing the hand. 

A man kisses the right hand of his mother, aunt or elderly friend and the left hand of his sweetheart. It is not permitted him to kiss the palm of the hand except in great and affectionate intimacy. It is regarded as a token that he is very much in love. Upon arriving at a formal dinner a gentleman takes the hand of his hostess and bends low over it as if about to kiss it, but does not do so. After dinner etiquette demands that he take her hand again and kiss it. —New York World, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, a Pope and Royalty

Regarding an 1899 visit – When visiting the Pope it is customary to kiss his slipper. The King of Sweden, a staunch Protestant, had not done this when visiting His Holiness. He had shaken hands.

In 1889, Emperor William II visited the Pope. He wished to make the visit in such a manner that the Quirinal might not be offended. He therefore paid his visit from the German Embassy in his own carriage, which had been brought from Berlin. 

To show, however, that he did not mean to make obeisance to the Pope he appeared, in military uniform. When visiting the Pope it is customary to kiss his slipper. The King of Sweden, a staunch Protestant, had not done this when visiting His Holiness. He had shaken hands. 

The Emperor went further. He embraced the Pope. The Empress dressed in white. Papal court etiquette prescribes black dress. This matter of etiquette, however, would have created no offence.

The German Emperor likes to do things out of the common. But, again, Bismarck's intrigues very nearly spoilt the game. The Pope had retired with the Emperor into his private apartments. They were alone. This was an extraordinary privilege and recalled to all the interview between Napoleon and Pius VII in Paris. 

Hardly had Leo XIII retired with his guest when Count Herbert Bismarck, the son of the great statesman, caused the Emperor's brother, Prince Henry, to step into the Pope's room and interrupt the conversation. The visit was at once terminated, and in the excitement the Emperor forgot the agreed arrangements and ordered his coachman to drive to the Quirinal. Personal explanation and presents fortunately set matters right.

I mention this incident to show what extraordinary influence Bismarck had, and how basely he made use of it. He was a clever and a great man. We cannot help admiring him, but we cannot give him our esteem.

It is befitting to conclude this article by a word of praise for the heroic German bishops and priests, for Herr Windhorst, the undaunted leader of the Catholic party in the German Parliament, for the three German Emperors who showed good-will in spite of the opposition of their Governments, and above all, for our Holy Father, Pope Leo XIII, who labored so ardently for the spiritual and temporal well-being of his German children. – The Indian Advocate, 1901

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Vatican Etiquette and Protocol

 

The privilege of wearing a white dress during hearings with the Pope is only granted to Catholic queens or Catholic spouses of Kings

Vatican protocol states that for papal hearings, women should wear long sleeves, formal black clothing and a black veil to cover the head. Since the 1980's, however, the dress code (tailcoat for men, black dress and veil for women) has become far less rigid.

Only in private hearings with the Pope are women required to cover their heads and wear mourning clothes. In hearings with the Holy Father, women are required to wear a dress with a sober cut and color, which should preferably be black, must never be low cut, it must cover the shoulders and the skirt part should be below the knee.

At the end of the pontifical ceremony, the faithful are called to greet the Pope by kissing his hand, though Pope Francis recently bowed before Queen Rania of Jordon, who was visiting the Vatican with her husband, King Abdullah II, breaking once again with protocol that requires visitors to bow to him when they see him at the Holy See. In March, Pope Francis kissed Argentina's President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner. "Never in my life has a pope kissed me!" she reportedly exclaimed, after becoming the first foreign head of state to meet with the new pope.

Flashy jewellery should be avoided: something discreet and elegant is fine. If one has to choose, it is better to wear less than to overdo it. In general, one should not exaggerate with accessories and these should not have any loud colors. It is important to remember to keep the head covered at all times. The Pope should be always be addressed as "Your Holiness".

The privilege of wearing a white dress during hearings with the Pope is only granted to Catholic queens or Catholic spouses of kings. They are allowed to wear a white dress instead of the usual prescribed black. Currently, this privilege extends only to the queens of Catholic monarchies.

When there was still a monarchy in Italy, the privilege was also granted to the Queen of Italy. Despite their being Catholic, the privilege does not extend to the Princedoms of Monaco and Liechtenstein. The wives of the presidents of the republic are not granted the privilege of wearing white.

Many female leaders no longer choose to wear black during papal audiences. Neither Mary Robinson nor Mary McAleese, two female Irish Presidents, ever wore black during John Paul II's audiences, while Russia's first lady Raissa Gorbaciova wore a red dress to one of the papal audiences. Cherie Blair, the wife of the British Prime Minister Tony Blair sparked controversy when she wore a white dress to the audience held by Pope Benedict XVI in 2006.

The Vatican carries its own dress code. In brief;
Ensure your knees and shoulders are covered as a sign of respect. Tank-tops, sundresses and short shorts are not appropriate attire and will not be allowed. Women can add to their outfits by bringing shawls or wearing tights. Long sleeves and long pants are most appropriate for men.
Wear comfortable shoes for walking. Many people spend the whole day on their feet while in the Vatican City. Preparation for one's comfort is important for when one is walking on the hard surfaces and waiting in line for great lengths of time.
Italy and the Vatican City are extremely warm in the summer months and can be rainy in the winter. Pack clothing that dries easily and is lightweight. This will help if you do need to cover up during your visit.

From various sources including; The Vatican Insider, Wiki How, and "St.PetersBasilica"   

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia