Finger Glass Etiquette

The use of "finger glasses," or "finger bowls" after dinner is quite a modern innovation in Germany, introduced from England.

The use of finger glasses after dinner is quite a modern innovation in Germany, introduced from England. Until about ten years ago, glasses were indeed brought round at dessert at the very end of the meal, but this was for the purpose of rinsing the mouth, and a very comical sight it was indeed to see gentlemen and ladles, in plain dress or en grande tenue. washing their mouths at a sumptuously furnished table —or for the matter of that, in any private or public assembly room—instead of retiring to some private chamber for this purpose. In Bavaria it often happens that persons of talent, but without much knowledge of the manners of what is called polite society, are invited to dine with royalty, and not unseldom has the mistake above referred to been made there. 

The following little anecdote, however, contains the details of a practical joke played by a number of artists on a colleague still living who had for the first time received an invitation to dine with the Prince Regent at the schloss at Munich. Several masters of the brush had received similar invitations, and, as the painter in question was somewhat elated and excited by the honor conferred upon him, and at the same time singularly nervous and inquiring as to the way he would be expected to behave at the royal table, his confreres put their heads together and determined to play a practical joke upon him. He was accordingly told: 

“The first time anybody is invited to dine at Court, a special drink is handed round in glass bowls and the newly-invited guest is expected, according to strict etiquette, to take one of these bowls in his hand and to rise and exclaim, ‘I drink to the health of his Royal Highness,’ and then to quaff the contents of the bowl at a draught, make a profound bow towards the Prince Regent, and so resume his seat!’” The gentleman in question acted to the letter according to the instructions given him. To the manners of the Court must be attributed the suppression of all suspicion of a giggle, and it is stated that the royal host did not appear in the least disconcerted, but afterwards over the beer the merriment was unrestrained.— London Telegraph, 1901 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Beau Brummell’s “Cut”

The “cut” employed by both the Prince Regent and Beau Brummell, was the ultimate social weapon of the Regency Era. It equates today, to a major “dis” of someone who is no longer a friend, but a frenemy. It’s the final social solution. It was not something to be used lightly, for using the cut, (sometimes called the “cut direct”) signaled your terminating a relationship. That “cut” was literally cutting your bonds of friendship. Rules about when and how a “cut” should be used, were as important as those rules on who could use the “cut” – Unmarried ladies were never to cut married ladies; gentlemen were never to cut a lady regardless of what she’d done; a gentleman cutting another gentleman had to be careful not to let the cut lead to a duel; a host could not cut a guest; etc... While it would seem to be a breach of etiquette to publicly cut someone, failure to follow the rules of cutting would be a serious breach of etiquette.

Shortly after Beau Brummell had joined his Hussars regiment, he inherited a large fortune from his father. He soon found military life uncongenial, and sold his commission. He then set up a bachelor establishment in the most fashionable quarter of London. Here, he entertained lavishly, and always had about him a coterie of the best dressed men of the city, who aped him in everything he did. The father of the Prince of Wales was the mainstay of Brummell's position at this time. Aside from his accomplishment that has made him famous, he was also exceedingly clever at repartee. The Prince was particularly fond of him for his witty conversation. The dandy had unlimited assurance, and even the Royal favor he was able to turn to the very best advantage. He was admitted to what was then termed the very best society, for he was extremely popular with the officers of his regiment. All that he could claim of social distinction for his own family was that his father had been secretary to Lord North. 

When Brummell reached the ago of 25 he found the proudest Dukes of England turned to him for advice in matters of dress, and with the proper spirit of the despot, he ruled on all such matters with brusque finality, “I want your opinion on this coat, Brummell.” said the Duke of Bedford. “Do you call that thing a coat, Bedford?” replied Beau. Finally his manner assumed such an arbitrary turn that he undertook to snub the Prince of Wales, who aspired to be the finest gentleman in Europe. Coolness sprang up between the two and the Prince cut the Beau. 

One story has it that when the Prince and Brummell were dining together, the latter asked him to ring the bell. It is said the Prince did ring the bell, and when the servant came, ordered Mr. Brummell’s carriage. The Beau denied the story, and gave the cause of the quarrel his own sarcasm on the Prince's increasing corpulency and his resemblance to Mrs. Fitzherbert's porter, “Big Ben.” Following his break in friendship, Brummell lounged about, made amusing remarks on his late friend and patron, swore he would “cut” him, and, in short, behaved with his usual aplomb. 

Soon after the bell affair, the “Beau” met his former friend in St. James street and resolved to cut him. Each antagonist was leaning on the arm of a friend. Jack Lee, who was thus supporting the “Beau” was intimate with the Prince, who, to make the cut more marked, stopped to talk to him without taking the slightest notice of Brummell. After a time both parties moved on, and then came the moment of triumph and revenge. It was sublime. Turning ‘round half way, so that his words could not fail to be heard by the retreating Regent, the Beau asked of his companion in his usual drawl, “Well, Jack, who's your fat friend?” The coolness, presumption and impertiness of the question perhaps made it the best thing the Beau ever said and from that time, the Prince took care not to risk another encounter with him. 

There are a great many stories told of the wit of Beau Brummell, always exercised at the expense of the defenseless or less brilliant and fashionable. On one occasion at least its unmitigated insolence brought its fair rebuke and that was when he sneeringly assured a wealthy brewer, Alderman Combe, from whom he had won a large sum at cards, that in future he would drink no one elses porter. “I wish, sir,” said Combe, “that every other blackguard in London would tell me the same.” – Sacramento Union, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Beau Brummell

Beau Brummell influenced royals, and set trends in Regency England, including that of regular bathing. An iconic figure of the Regency Era, he was the arbiter of men's fashion, and a friend of the Prince Regent, the future King George IV – “Beau Brummel’s fashion ideals favored simple, classic and largely unadorned beauty. He eschewed the bright colors, wigs and showy fabrics of the previous generation, promoting clean lines, understated hues and impeccable tailoring. Brummell took a similar approach to bathing and grooming, refusing to douse himself with the stifling scents and lotions prized by young men and women of his day. Many of his followers would eventually adopt this simpler ethos, relying on a healthy soak in the tub rather than copious amount of perfume to smell fresh and clean.” –History.com 

Of all the famous men of fashion and devotees of the most strict in the art of manners, Beau Brummell stands at the lead, and his name has become so synonymous with the name “dandy.” that it has almost passed into the English language. George Brummell he was Christened, but “Beau” Brummell was applied to him at a very early age, and he lived up to the name through his entire life, setting the fashion of the English not alone in dress, but in deportment, in manners and etiquette. His reign as the arbiter of fashion in the early part of the nineteenth century was as extraordinary as that of any other tyrant in history. Not even Earls and Dukes were exempt in his dominant power over fashion and not even the Prince of Wales, who afterwards became George IV, dared offer any advice against his dictation in his particular field. His depotism in this respect was partly by chance and partly by nature. In the former, he had the favor of distinguished personages. 

His aunts, who were well-bred, but unfortunately having reached redticed circumstances, were given employment as gatekeepers in the comfortably furnished lodge at Greenwich by George III and were allowed to keep cows in the park and sell milk. The Prince of Wales was accustomed to frequently visit the lodge to see the gatekeeper’s cows milked. Upon one of these occasions, Brummell, who had but recently returned from Eton, had the pleasure of meeting the Prince. They struck up considerable of a friendship, and the latter used his influence to make Brummell a Cornet of Hussars in a desirable regiment. George was an exceedingly handsome youth when he got out of Eton; by no means a mere dandy, but he became so much interested in clothes and how to wear them to the best advantage, that he was shortly looked upon as the best-dressed gentleman of the day. Neckcloths were his greatest victories. At his neck they were starched. He was fastidious in trying them. “These X.” solemnly said his valet, bearing forth a pile of crumpled linen, “these are our failures.” – From 7 Famous Beaux, 1911

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia