Sticky Fingers Cause Etiquette Breach

 

Public Domain image of Count Paul Demidoff, Prince of San Donato

A Strict Follower of Etiquette

An amusing chapter of Laferrière’s forthcoming memoirs, according to the Paris correspondent of Appleton’s Journal, is devoted to a Russian celebrity at the Court of the late Emperor Nicholas, the Count Paul Demidoff. A young attaché to one ot the embassies, now a distinguished diplomatist, was invited to dine with Count Demidoff. On the return of the company to the salon, groups were formed here and there, and when the coffee was handed round, the young attache, carried away by the interest of the conversation in which he was engaged, took a lump of sugar from the sugar bowl with his fingers, when the servant presented the tray to him. 

Count Demidoff, indignant at this breach of etiquette, signed to the lackey to throw the rest of the contents of the sugar-bowl out of the window. The lesson was a severe one, and struck dumb those who witnessed it. But the spirituelle young offender, while understanding perfectly the insult intended, preserved an imperturbable calmness. He slowly drained the contents of his cup, and, walking deliberately to the window, he fixed his eyes on M. Demidoff and tossed carelessly into the street the cup and saucer of priceless Sèvres and the gold spoon. “I did not know that such was the usage,” he said to the Count. And then he recommended his conversation with an air of perfect nonchalance. — London Journal, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Catherine the Great’s Etiquette

“Good rules all, but rules difficult for any but a Queen to hold before her friends. The penalty for breaking the rules was the drinking of a glass of cold water for every offense. The Queen was most severe with those who broke the tenth commandment; they were never again admitted to the Hermitage, after being once found guilty of tittle-tattle.”

The Russian Czar’s Grandest Palace

THE famed Winter Palace of the Russian Czar probably has seen more romantic history in the making than any other building in Europe...

There is a table hung on the walls of the palace, draped with a green curtain, which contains Queen Catherine the Great's by-laws for the Hermitage Societies. They were: 

1. Leave your rank outside, as well as your hat, and especially your sword. 
2. Leave your right of precedence, your pride, and any similar feeling outside the door. 
3. Be gay, but do not spoil anything; do not break or gnaw anything. 
4. Sit, stand, walk as you will, without reference to anybody. 
5. Talk moderately and not very loud, so as not to make the ears and heads of others ache. 
6. Argue without anger and without excitement. 
7. Neither sigh nor yawn, nor make anybody dull or heavy. 
8. In all innocent games, whatever one proposes, let all join. 
9. Eat whatever is sweet and savory, but drink with moderation, so that each may find his legs on leaving the room. 
10. Tell no tales out of school; whatever goes in at one ear must go out at the other before leaving the room. 

Good rules all, but rules difficult for any but a Queen to hold before her friends. The penalty for breaking the rules was the drinking of a glass of cold water for every offense. The Queen was most severe with those who broke the tenth commandment; they were never again admitted to the Hermitage, after being once found guilty of tittle-tattle. – Sausalito News, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Royal Russian Etiquette

In Russia there are several institutions which retain an oriental flavor and the fact that the Czarina is always surrounded by an imposing bevy of unmarried women is a case in point. At least fifty young women, all the daughters of great Nobles pay her personal service.

Russian Maids of Honor

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An Academy at Moscow Where They Are Trained — Must be Able to Sew, Read Aloud for Hours and Stand for Indefinite Periods

Speaking of the Russian schools, there is one academy at Moscow which is unique in its way. I am sure that a similar institution does not exist in any other country, says the Philadelphia Times. "It is a school for young ladies of high birth, whose parents desire that they shall become Maids of Honor at the Imperial Court. 

The English Queen has only six or eight Maids of Honor, and I believe the Royal attendants of that description are even fewer in number at Courts where there is a Queen Regnant, Queen Regent or Queen Consort of first-class rank. Of course, by "Queens" I also mean "Empresses." 

All the reigning Consorts who have the Imperial title are also Queens. Empress Elizabeth of Austria is also Queen of Hungary; Empress Alexandria of Russia is Queen of Poland; Empress Augusta Victoria of Germany is also Queen of Prussia and Queen Victoria is also Empress of India. In Russia there are several institutions which retain an oriental flavor and the fact that the Czarina is always surrounded by an imposing bevy of unmarried women is a case in point. At least fifty young women, all the daughters of great Nobles pay her personal service. They are in two ranks, "Cipher" and "Portrait," distinctions which I will presently explain. 

Candidates for the position of Maids of Honor to the Empress have their names registered by a Court official, whose title might be translated as "Overseer of the Maids." This is often done a day or two after the birth of the aspiring young ladies. At the age of ten they enter the official school of the Maids of Honor and there they are taught everything pertaining to the Court, as well as everything that goes to make a well-educated young gentlewoman. 

The girls must acquire the art of legible writing and be able to correspond fluently not only in Russian, but in English, German, French and Italian. They must be able to take dictation in all those languages rapidly. They are also expected to become familiar not only with the routine etiquette of their own and foreign Courts, but they must learn rules of prudence, delicate distinctions of rank and other intricacies of Court life, almost impossible to explain to those who have not been born in the atmosphere of the purple. 

Future Maids of Honor are also required to be not only clever at embroidery but capable, if necessary, of ordinary domestic stitching. While in attendance there are always possibilities of a ready needle being required for the Empress or a Grand Duchess. They are also expected to know how to order a dinner and how to direct cooks in the way of preparing dishes favored by Imperial personages. They must have a capacity of being able to read aloud for hours if necessary, without undue fatigue; being able to stand for indefinite periods; of being able to reecive snubbings, scoldings, even abuse with patient composure, and finally they must inculcate within them the fact that an Empress or Grand Duchess is a personage almost divine in attribute. 

All these accomplishments acquired —or apparently acquired— it remains with a Maid of Honor lastly to be of such favor in her features, her general appearance and her dress that she enforces attraction from the Empress or from one of the other half-dozen Grand Duchesses of Russia, who are permitted to have the second pick of the Maids of Honor, after the Czarina has finished her own appointment. 

Before, however, such appointment can be ratified, the Czar himself inspects the candidates. Indeed, at various periods the Czar makes a point of visiting the school and generally "looks over" the girls. The Czarina's Maids of Honor enjoy a barbaric splendor of costume that far exceeds anything to be seen at any other European Court. A white satin robe stretches from chin to toes, the buttons up the front being set with precious stones. Over this is thrown a sort of red velvet cloak, embroidered with gold and having long pendant sleeves. On their heads rests the kakochnik or national cap of crimson velvet, thickly studded with jewels, from the summit of which hangs a veil of white tulle that spreads half way over the voluminous train. This gorgeous array is donned on all State occasions until the wearer passes from the "Cipher" to the "Portrait" stage of promotion. 

The juniors wear for some years on their left shoulders the monogram of their mistress worked in pale blue silk, but after a period of service they substitute for this the portrait of the Empress framed in brilliants and exchange their crimson and gold for a less radiant cap of green and silver. 

While receiving their education they wear plain woolen frocks, with frilled silk aprons, but these dresses are so contrived that the upper part of the bodices and the long sleeves can be removed at will. Whenever the Czar visits the schools all the girls appear decollete. —  Sacramento Daily Union and Philadelphia Times, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Serious Guest Etiquette Breach

From the Devonshire Parure: A stomacher, circa 1856. Featuring gold, enamel, diamonds, carnelian, onyx, garnet, jacinths, lapis lazuli, plasma, and sardonyx, 30.2 x 19.0 cm.
–Photo source, Pinterest

American Woman’s Display

An interesting story of how an American woman duped the Court of Russia has just leaked out. At these Royal balls, wealth and luxury run riot and the Russians are very proud of their display, says the Delineator. 

To be outdone by a foreigner is, to them, almost a disgrace. At a recent Court ball an American woman, now a Duchess in England, outdid the Russians one season, making a tremendous sensation, so loaded down was she with her great tiara and high dog collar, her stomacher and ropes of famous pearls that she rivaled even the Empress. Her gems drew admiration from every one. This proved a great embarrassment to the English ambassador, who realized what a serious breach of etiquette it was. 

It was some time afterward that a jeweler in Paris, bursting with pride over the achievement, told how he had gone to London to make imitations of the celebrated jewels, especially to be worn at this St. Petersburg ball, the Duchess being afraid to take the genuine ones upon such a long journey. —Lompoc Journal, 1910

💎Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Court Presentation

John Randolph, (or as he was known “John Randolph of Roanoke”) was a late 18th and early 19th centuries Congressman from Virginia, who not only served in the House of Representatives, and the Senate, but also as the Minister to Russia in 1830.

John Randolph’s Court Presentation

John Randolph, of Roanoke, dressed very eccentrically while he was at home, and his dress during his mission to Russia was hardly more extravagant than what he wore at Roanoke. 

In writing of it he says: “My dress on presentation to their Imperial Majesties was a suit of the finest mack cloth that London could afford; and with the exception of a steel capped sword it was the dress of Mr. Madison during the late convention." It was ornamented with gold shoe and knee buckles, and Randolph says that he was as well dressed as Prince Talleyrand, who was presented at the same time. Josiah Quincy visited Russia some years after this, and in his life there is a story related concerning this presentation of John Randolph.

Says this authority: “When he was presented to the Empress she put out her hand and Randolph went down on his knees to take it. He wore, however, tight gauntlets and he did not attempt to get those off before he fell upon his knee. It was contrary to etiquette to touch the lady’s bare hand with a gloved hand, and it look him so long to get his tight glove off, that her Majesty smiled at his predicament and the courtiers laughed out aloud.” 

Randolph soon took his leave of Russia and returned to the United States. Before he did so, he had a pleasant interview with the Emperor, and he made a remark which it is said, made the Empress laugh most vociferously. He bowed himself out backward as he left, and “it was lucky” said he, “that I happened to be near the door.” —Frank O. Carpenter in American Magazine, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

19th C. Russian Court Etiquette

Alexander II succeeded to the throne upon the death of his father in 1855. The 1st year of his reign was devoted to the prosecution of the Crimean War. After the fall of Sebastopol, negotiations for peace were led by his trusted counsellor Prince Alexander Gorchakov. Few imagined that he would be known to posterity as a leader able to implement the most challenging reforms undertaken in Russia since the reign of Peter the Great.

Russian Imperial Court Dance Etiquette

According to Russian etiquette, no subject who is not attached to the Court, can dance with the Princesses of the blood. A young Lieutenant of Hussars, ignorant of the established etiquette, asked the Grand Duchess Olga to dance with him, and she, who saw by his “orders” that he was a Crimean, consented. The Emperor, who saw his sister “polking” with the young sub, sent for the latter as soon as he had left his partner, and smilingly told him that he had committed an offence against etiquette. “As I hear,” continued the good-natured monarch “that you distinguished yourself greatly at Sebastopol, I take you into my Adjutantar; and now, as you are attached to the Court, you can dance with the Grand Duchess again, if she has no objection.” — Wide West News, 1856

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Girls in Crowns

Alexandra Fyodorovna was Empress consort of Russia as the spouse of Nicholas II, the last Emperor of the Russian Empire. A granddaughter of Queen Victoria, she was born "Alix of Hesse and by Rhine." She was given the name Alexandra Fyodorovna upon being received into the Russian Orthodox Church. Alexandra was also a maternal great-aunt of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and first cousin twice-removed to his wife Queen Elizabeth II. In 2000, the Russian Orthodox Church canonized her as "Saint Alexandra the Passion Bearer."

Girls Who Wear Crowns

The evident beauty of the Russian Empress' face is so overshadowed by an expression of patient, pathetic melancholy that she arouses sympathy and curiosity in everyone. Undoubtedly the Czarina is not a happy woman. Russian Empresses have little enough to inspire content, and this pale, pretty creature with the sad eyes and mouth, endures daily such tests of her physical strength and moral courage as few American women would care or consent, for all the Russian state and power, to undergo.

Her husband, on the whole, is a kindly young man who is considerate, even affectionate, but he can do very little to mitigate the severe, even cruel, Russian court etiquette to which she must bow. With her he shares the daily terror of assassination, and with his people he laments the fact that the Empress has not yet given an heir to his throne. 

In spite of her beauty and her virtues, the Empress is not loved by the Russian people nor consulted and confided in by her husband as her mother-in-law, Empress Dagmar, the dowager, was. She has neither the robust physique nor the ambitious interests of the clever dowager, and court intrigues, squabbles, and etiquette distress, disgust and fatigue her.

It is a fact well known that up to the very day before her betrothal, she resisted the change of her religion and Christian name that every Russian Empress consort must yield to. Again and again, she has fainted at the long receptions, balls and reviews through which, in spite of her illness, she is obliged to stand, and the only true comfort and solace she finds in her dreary splendor is the personal services and attentions she is allowed to lavish on her tiny girls. 

In sharp contrast to this sad-faced Empress of the vastest domain in Europe, is the young, pretty Queen of the tiniest, cleanest, freest little kingdom on that continent. The Queen of Holland lives far more like a popular, petted young belle of society than a sovereign. While the Czarina never puts her foot out of her door without the heaviest guard, Queen Wilhelmina goes shopping, walking, skating and riding when the whim seizes her, with a single attendant, and that often but a favorite lady in waiting. 

For all her love of junketing, dancing and outdoor sports the Dutch Queen is a conscientious worker, and just now she feels deeply interested in the International Peace Congress that meets on the 18th of May in one of her palaces, the House-on-the-Wood, just outside The Hague. — The Sacramento Daily Union, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia