Europe’s Noble Ragamuffins

After several days of reading about the merchandising of the House of Windsor, where only those claiming the moniker “Sussex” were hanging around with their wallets open, it was refreshing to read how many Americans have always viewed such Noble Ragamuffins. It’s also a good reminder that forks have only been common at America’s tables since the 1830’s to 1840’s. ~According to a quick Google search, I was able to glean this information on Fishbladder’s book: Based on an 1893 edition of the Eldora Enterprise, the “Handbook of Indoor Etiquette” was a fictional or satirical, yet influential, manual credited to the “immortal professor Fishbladder.” It served as a guide for high society in Chicago, emphasizing refined manners such as eating peas with a fork, promoting dull-finished jewelry, and encouraging quiet elegance in style to combat uncouth elements.- From newspaper archives .com

We are not giving ourselves any uneasiness about the visit of the Infanta Eulalie to Chicago. All this talk about our inability to keep up our end of the rules of etiquette is simply so much fiction calculated to belittle our cultured society. Chicago has not been idle the last four years. 

Ever since the immortal Professor A. J. Fishbladder came into the midst of us and taught us how to eat peas with a fork we have been able to hold our own against the rest of creation. There was a time when some uncouth elements in our society denounced Fishbladder as a charlatan. All these persecutions did Fishbladder suffer with the patient, unprotesting meekness of a medieval Christian martyr, and now, lo and behold, the harvest has come, and we glory in the fruition of his teachings.

It is to Fishbladder that we are largely indebted for our ability to toady, miscellaneously and abjectly, to the vast and unassorted lot of foreign titled nincompoops and knaves that is being spawned upon this country at this time. So long as the Fishbladder "Handbook of Indoor Etiquette" holds out its saving grace we need have no fear for Chicago's culture, and we can confidently view the swelling influx of Europe's noble ragamuffins. -Chicago Record. 1895

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Gossip Dries Up and Packs Up

               

Who was in the hotter hell? The gossips or those commenting on the gossips? — Aside from a few incidents, there have been but two morsels of gossip for the socially inclined to digest. This is an unusual state of affairs; for, according to a Boston female critic: “New York society is the most gossipy crowd I ever struck.” 

Photo source, Etiquipedia library

Polite society is now in a very unsettled and confused condition as is usual at this stage of the year, between two burdens of closing up the city house and preparing to leave town, very little takes the precedence of personal wants. The natural consequence has therefore been to make the last week in society very dull and uninteresting. Aside from a few incidents, there have been but two morsels of gossip for the socially inclined to digest. This is an unusual state of affairs; for, according to a Boston female critic: “New York society is the most gossipy crowd I ever struck.”

The two topics were the reported engagement of the beautiful Miss Lulu Morris of Baltimore to Frederick Gebhard and the proposed ball in honor of the Infanta Eulalia. The rumored engagement of Miss Morris to Mr. Gebhard early in the week, created a decided stir Miss Morris who is a cousin of Mrs. Richard Irvin of 12 West Thirty-sixth Street, has been seen frequently here in society and is remembered as a charming model in the tableau vivants in Madison Square Concert Hall.

The report had been quietly going the rounds of a few, and had been talked of in undertones in club circles. Mrs. Irvin was in Baltimore most of the week, and those anxious to know could neither get a yes nor a no, until Mrs. Irvin returned. Then came a most emphatic “no,” and with that nothing more was said. — the New York Times May 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Replicating Royal Etiquette for Big Visit

To a woman encumbered with a train, and condemned to back down, or up a flight of stairs, this difficulty presents an interesting exercise in calisthenics. It is quite out of the question that all the women who are going to the ball should surmount it successfully, and even if they should, this is only one of many points of Spanish Court etiquette their struggles with which, are likely to amuse the Infanta, who has several times since she arrived upon these shores, betrayed a sense of humor which she will have some difficulty in concealing when society undertakes to treat her as she would be treated at home.  

—Public domain image of Infanta Eulalia of Spain, from Wikipedia 

The Infanta and Society

No feeling heart will withhold its meed of sympathy from the women of New-York society who have been, for three or four days, struggling with the mysteries of Spanish Court etiquette, and whose struggles have straggled into the public prints. It is not known who is instructing them in these intricacies, which are many and various. That which is reported to weigh most upon their spirits, is the approved method of backing before Spanish Royalty. 

To a woman encumbered with a train, and condemned to back down, or up a flight of stairs, this difficulty presents an interesting exercise in calisthenics. It is quite out of the question that all the women who are going to the ball should surmount it successfully, and even if they should, this is only one of many points of Spanish Court etiquette their struggles with which, are likely to amuse the Infanta, who has several times since she arrived upon these shores, betrayed a sense of humor which she will have some difficulty in concealing when society undertakes to treat her as she would be treated at home.

The curious point about all this futile training, is that it is superfluous as it is futile. The Spanish Government has already shown its faith in the good-will of the American people by waiving, in effect, the ceremonial of Madrid, and leaving the American people at liberty to entertain the Infanta in the American way. It is not the way of the Court of Madrid, but it is not a bad way in its way. The ball to the Infanta is to be exclusive, and hence it is expected to eclipse the ball to the foreign naval officers. 

That was the most democratic and comprehensive function from which nobody was excluded, who could and would pay $10 for a ticket. It was also highly successful, and every New-Yorker who attended it must have been proud of the appearance and behavior of his promiscuous fellow citizens. Unless the projectors of the ball to the Infanta abandon their absurd notion of entertaining her as if she and they were in Spain, the ball to the Infanta is likely to furnish more occasion of satisfaction to the satirist than to the patriot. — New York Times, May 24, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spanish Princess Charms the U.S.

 

“Grace is better than formalism. This is the moral of Eulalia’s example, and the truth applies to other things than manners. There is a good deal of formal moralism in this country that is about as useless and uncomfortable as the etiquette of old Spain.” 

Eulalia’s Example

There are many signs that the Columbian Exposition is going to affect the beginning of a radical change in many of our conventional and most cherished ideas. Begun as an industrial exposition to show the growth of the civilized world in material comfort during the last four hundred years, it has become already much more interesting from an esthetic than from an industrial point of view. 

Vast as are the wonders, and we might almost say the miracles, wrought by mechanism and electricity that are displayed at the Great Fair, the things that have most concerned the public mind have not been matters of work and energy, but matters of conduct and enjoyment. It is the ‘nude art’ and the ‘open Sunday’ that have chiefly engaged the attention of our people. The discussions that have aroused interest have not been how shall we increase wealth and multiply luxuries, but how we shall make our conventional morals conform to the growing desire for beauty and for enjoyment. 

We do not intend to go over again this morning the old arguments for or against the essential purity of beauty even when exhibited in the undraped human form, nor recall the arguments on one side or the other, concerning the use of Sunday as a holiday or a holy day. With all phases of these debates our readers are sufficiently acquainted and would hardly be grateful for another direct review of them, it will be interesting, however, to consider them for a moment indirectly, and to catch, as it were, a glimpse of them in distant perspective, seen as a background to something else that harmonizes with them and in a way illumes them. We would ask our readers, then, to consider for a moment how these old issues appear in the light of Eulalia’s example? 

The subject deserves an essay, but we can do no more than sketch the outlines. Let it be remembered how, when it was first announced that the Princess Eulalia was coming to America, there broke out everywhere a portentuous discussion as to how we should receive Spanish royalty. We heard a great deal about the formal etiquette of the majestic Court of the Escurial. Diplomatists debated who should receive her, and how and when and where. Ward McAllister issued a manifesto on the subject. Society studied and argued, and Statesmen took to gossiping about it. Everybody who would be immediately concerned in receiving the Princess, seemed to be in a nervous dread of the approaching ordeal, and when at one time it was announced that she was not coming at all because her hauteur had been offended by a lack of sufficient reverance for her august station, many of our dignitaries and our social leaders drew a breath of relief in the momentary hope that the danger was over and that our Republican manners would not be subjected to the fearful strain. 

The Princess came, however, in due season, and the trembling world of New York went out to meet her. It went prepared with bows and curtsies and genuflexions to do her honor. To the amazement of everybody, the Princess came forward and shook hands with those who welcomed her and began at once to talk like a woman who is glad to be alive. She not only showed no hauteur, but manifested a genuine Democratic expectation of a good time. She stood up on her carriage and blew kisses to a New York crowd until it nearly went crazy with rapture. She did the same thing in Washington. She never said a word about Cleveland’s not returning her call, nor raised a single question of etiquette. 

On her visit to West Point, she showed a gentle graciousness to the widow of General Grant by running back into the hotel at the last moment to shake hands with her and bid her good bye. A similar graceful act was shown on Decoration Day, when she drove out Riverside Avenue to lay with her own hands a wreath upon the tomb of Grant. She turned, moreover, from affairs of State to ordinary life with an equal gaiety. She went to the horse races and bet on the favorite. When she lost, she laughed; and when she won, she ordered the money to be given to the poor. She dined at a racing banquet merrily, and when it was over and cigars were passed round, she lit a cigarette and stayed with the company. 

In short, she has shown nothing of the conventional dignity of royalty, but everything of the natural grace of a happy and lively going womanhood. This exemplar of royal conduct, coming into the country at the exact moment when we are discussing how far conventional ideas may be thrown aside in order to give free play to the artistic and joyous faculties, cannot fail to exert a considerable influence on the public mind. How unpleasant was our conception of Spanish royalty! How pleasing has been our experience of Spanish grace! Perhaps we may learn from this that if we can get rid of our formal art and our formal Sunday, we may find in place of them a grace ot life far happier and far better for the world. 

Eulalia’s example shows what a womanhood unrestrained by conventional etiquette can do. It is a womanhood full of charm for the crowd, full of dignity for official rank, full of gentle reverence for the aged woman, full of honor for the illustrious dead, and yet withal not too high and good to love the pleasant things of life and enjoy them with all her heart. Much that she has done, will seem to our ideas more like a soubrette than a Princess, and yet it cannot be denied that it is much better than the stiff and stately etiquette that we feared. 

Grace is better than formalism. This is the moral of Eulalia’s example, and the truth applies to other things than manners. There is a good deal of formal moralism in this country that is about as useless and uncomfortable as the etiquette of old Spain. There is no reason why the growing artistic spirit of America should remain forever fettered by old ideas. There is no reason why it should not break loose from conventional trammels in this Columbian year and disport itself as freely and as gracefully for the joy of all as our royal visitor has done in her frank acceptance of our Democratic ways. — San Jose Mercury News, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

On Perfecting Royal Etiquette Points

Clearly, New Yorkers dropped the ball with regard to hosting her Highness properly and with the expected etiquette, when she was in New York. 

Giving points to Chicago – Commander Davis Instructs Mrs. Potter Palmer

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He explains in detail how the Infanta shall be received, and whom she may, and may not meet — New Yorkers made some bad mistakes, he says, because of their ignorance of etiquette — A Manual of Manners by the President’s Personal Representative

Commander Charles Henry Davis, United States Navy, representing the President of the United States near the person of Infanta Eulalia, spent a very busy day yesterday with his correspondence. Several of the letters he wrote were of some importance. One was to Mrs. Potter Palmer of Chicago telling her how to behave when she received the Princess. The letter is as follows:


“Out of consideration to American customs and the objection in this country to traveling on Sunday, her Royal Highness will leave for Chicago on Monday instead of on Sunday, as previously arranged, and will arrive at Chicago one day later. This will make some change in the programme arranged for her reception. I have promised the Mayor of Chicago and others that you should have the honor of giving the first reception to her Royal Highness. I have telegraphed the Mayor asking him to consult with you as to the order of how entertainment for the first few days will take place. Will you and the Mayor and Mr. Higginbotham arrange among yourselves, so that the programme may be perfectly clear when we arrive?


“I'll have also to request that there be no entertainments upon the hour of her arrival. Her Highness suffers a great deal from fatigue, and has to be very careful not to overexert, and I'm afraid she will find the long railroad journey so tedious that she will not be fit to take part in a big function immediately after her arrival. With this single restriction I leave the matter entirely in the hands of yourselves. With regard to your customs, I should say that you might ask as many people to your reception as you think ought to be presented to her Highness. The mere fatigue of receiving people is not serious, but you will, of course, provide an apartment to which her Highness can retire at any moment. If she feels tired she would not hesitate to exercise her prerogative of privacy.


“At the reception given by the Spanish colony here in New York the Prince and Princess stood on a platform raised about six inches above the floor and with a couple of armchairs behind them. I do not consider this at all obligatory upon you, and it might be considered as contrary to our own customs. You can do just as you please about this. Her Highness is sensible enough to take things in this country as she finds them. You should meet the Infanta at the door of your own house. I will explain this better by word of mouth.


“Will you kindly warn the good people of Chicago that when they are presented, they are presented to her husband as well, who stands by her side and who is a Prince of Royal blood? People when presented should bow to each. They have made the mistake here in New York of almost ignoring the Prince and greeting the Princess alone. The Princess will not shake hands except with persons that she knows or whom she desires to meet. The formality of presentation consists simply in calling the name of the people as they advance, who then bow and pass on, avoiding, if possible, turning their backs to their Royal Highnesses.


“You would naturally make the presentation in your own house. This could be done through me if you so desire. After the formal reception a supper should be provided at a separate table, and a separate room, for the Royal party. This table might accommodate twenty or thirty people, to be named by you. The members of her own suite always sit with her in this country, and I can give you a few words of instruction on the relative importance and the proper places for them to sit at the table when I meet you.


“If her Highness insisted upon the etiquette to which she is accustomed at home, a reception to her in an American home would be a simple impossibility. You can easily understand that it is an utter impossibility for a lady in so conspicuous a position as that of her Royal Highness to meet and know all of the persons in the city who would like to know her, or even are entitled to know her. So I would advise you to make the list of those for whom you desire a special presentation as exclusive as possible.” — The New York Times, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Above the Salt

A royal salt holder — In medieval times, due to its scarcity, salt was extremely expensive and only affordable by those in the higher ranks of society. At that time, royalty and nobility sat at the 'high table' while the commoner servants sat at lower, trestle tables. Salt was placed in the center of the high table. Only those of rank had access to the salt. Those less favored, and of lesser rank on the lower tables, were below, or beneath, the salt.

The proposed visit of the Infanta Eulalia of Spain to this country has given rise to a pretty exhibition of Court etiquette. She and her husband, Prince Antony, were to be the guests of the United States government, but in proffering hospitality, the mistake was made of intimating that the Duke of Veragua would be included in the company. This was quite too much for Spanish notions of propriety. 

A person of royal blood to sit with a mere nobleman, and have the salt between them on equal terms — never! A Monarchical guest must take separate treatment to sustain her dignity; to hobnob with an inferior is tantamount to insult. So the Infanta gets out of this disparaging predicament by undertaking to pay her own expenses, an independent course which may grieve this country the less inasmuch as Congress has not appropriated a dime for her august entertainment. — New York Herald, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Infanta Eulalia

New York society women now brushing up!

“Dorothy Q” fills her readers in on the efforts of the Gilded Age society women to brush up on rigid Spanish etiquette for an Infanta’s visit.

The Spanish Royal’s Visit was Supposed to be Incognito 

The ball that the society women of New York are contemplating giving in honor of the Infanta Eulalia, is just now under animated discussion. The etiquette that “doth hedge” a royal representative of Spain, is appallingly rigid, and as no one in the exclusive set of New York wishes to commit a breach of propriety, more studying is being done of pedigree and Court etiquette than ever before in the world of form and convention. 

As the Infanta is supposed to travel incognito, she could not accept the cordial invitation of Mrs. Hearst, who offered her mansion at Washington for the Infanta’s use while there, and also extended to the Infanta the freedom of the yacht, “Vamoose.” If the coterie of ladies who inspired the idea of giving this entertainment for the Infanta can carry out their plans, the ball will be a notable social event of Wednesday, May 17. —Dorothy Q., New York, May 8, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Question of Presidential Etiquette

Infanta Eulalia, Duchess of Galliera was the youngest daughter and child of Queen Isabella II of Spain and Francis, Duke of Cadiz, sister of King Alfonso XII and aunt of his son King Alfonso XIII. Very unconventional as a Spanish royal, on her visit to the US in 1893, she raised eyebrows by smoking. And rather than have mass in a luxurious Roman Catholic church cathedral, she attended mass in a poor parish. It was also reported that Eulalia even snubbed a social event to "eat sausages" at the Chicago World's Fair, just like a common attendee. According to www.EdwardianPromenade.com, "She later courted more controversy when she tried to divorce her husband, and when she became the official go-between for wealthy, social-climbing Americans and European noble families (the grateful Americans of course showered Eulalia with automobiles or the loaning of yachts)."

It's a Question of Etiquette

and a Matter of Form

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Infanta Situation 
"Bothering the Diplomats" 
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Shalt President Cleveland Return Eulalia's Visit? 

Now the Momentous Problem

Special to The Morning Call

Washington, May 14, 1893 — lt was learned to-day that the representatives of Spain and the United States have thus far failed to reach a satisfactory understanding regarding the programme of courtesies to be extended between the President and the Infanta Eulalia in the course of her stay in Washington.

According to custom, the Princess, at a convenient period after her arrival, would call upon the President and Mrs. Cleveland at the White House. Whether or not the President should in return call at the Princess's quarters in the hotel is the question, upon the settlement of which depends the future course of the Infanta.

The Spanish representatives, it is understood, insist that a return visit to the Princess is one that is due by courtesy and should be paid. They argue that the Princess is the personal representative of the Queen Regent, and will come to the United States upon the express invitation of Congress. Under these conditions, and these only, they feel that a return visit should be paid. 

If the Infanta were traveling through the country as a tourist merely, they say, she would pay her respects to the President, and no return visit from him would be expected. The Spanish officials are quoted as saying that the courtesy which should obtain among individuals of the same rank, and not etiquette, demands that the visit of the Infanta be reciprocated by the President.

The subject has been very thorougly discussed in Washington and Madrid, and a telegram from the latter capital printed. On Saturday morning, expressing the apprehension that the Infanta's health would not permit her to coutinue on her journey to the United States, is construed here as preparing the way for her return to Spain from Cuba if it should be found necessary to change tho original plan. The situation is embarrassing, and many plans have been made of expedients to relieve it. 

One of these, it is understood, was that the Infanta and her suite be entertained at the White House during her stay, thus obviating altogether the difficulty over the return visit. There is no precedent for the guidance of the officials here, as no one assuming to be the personal representative of a sovereign has ever visited this country.

Havana, May 14 .—The Infanta Eulalia and her husband attended a military review yesterday afternoon and in the evening went. to a ball at the Casino Espagnol: It is reported that she will embark to-morrow for New York. — San Francisco Call, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia