Edwardian Era Luncheon Etiquette

“Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition…” – Quote from A Member of the Aristocracy

Invitations to Luncheon

A week's notice is the longest usually given, very little notice being considered requisite.

Many hostesses give their friends carte blanche invitations to luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this façon de parler, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of invitation. 

Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason, perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or otherwise.

As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.

Luncheon is a very useful institution to a mistress of a house, as it enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and acquaintances.

She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood for a few days only, and so on.

The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so, is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether there are guests present or not. —Book of Manners and Rules of Good Society; or, Solecisms to be Avoided, by “A Member of the Aristocracy”

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Scandal Prone Etiquette Authority?

The British socialite and philanthropist was a renowned beauty of the Victorian Era and was one of the most scandalous women in the highest of Edwardian England’s social circles.

–  Public domain image of Frances “Daisy” Evelyn Greville, Countess of Warwick

 An Authority Speaks – Is An Etiquette Expert!

Frances Evelyn, Countess of Warwick, Writes For Papers

One of England's Most Popular Hostesses Will Give a Series of Articles on the Charm and Dignity of Good Manners In Social Life

It is announced that Frances Evelyn, Countess of Warwick, will write a series of articles on etiquette for newspapers. In her introduction the countess states:"If parents were more with their children familiarity with all the details of etiquette would be inherited rather than acquired.

While mothers are content to leave their little ones to others, boys will tend to become rough and self conscious and girls will regard instructions as a lesson and resent it accordingly. I have made it a rule to have my children around me on every possible occasion.

"The tendency toward carelessness must be repressed by all of us, and etiquette has done much to add to the charm and dignity of life. We need more study of demeanor than do the French, Italians and Spaniards, for the Latin races have a natural grace that is only seldom found among us. The Italian peasant of the Maremma, the Spanish shepherd of the Asturias, will astonish you by his perfect courtesy, his instinctive knowledge of the right word, the appropriate action.

"We are rougher and more rude until we have been polished on the grindstone of polite custom or until we have traveled and lost our insularity.

"After all, our behavior is the reflection of our personality, and while, if that personality be gracious, knowledge of etiquette will set it off to complete advantage, an aggressive personality cannot be made tolerable by amount of perfectly correct action.

"Yet knowledge is power. I think it was Francis Bacon who said that the man who goes to a foreign country without a knowledge of its language, goes to school and not to travel, and in the same way the men or women who seek the pleasures of social life, without knowing either how to entertain or to be entertained, miss the fundamental pleasures of intercourse." —Oceanside Register, May 1916

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Edwardian Etiquette Humor

The multiplicity of forks and knives and spoons staggered him. The soup nearly made him faint. But he took his courage and an olive in both hands, and launched forth pluckily.—  Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna and Zinaida Skobelyeva, Duchess of Leuchtenberg. Photographed in 1890.
— Photo source, Twitter

A Little Pleasantry

He tried it on the Duchess, according to the rules

If seated next to a lady at dinner and if at a loss for a topic, touch lightly on the weather. Then turn to dress. If that fails, try a little pleasantry.” With these words from “Etiquette For the Populace” stamped upon his memory. Mr. Quickrich, who had made a million out of candles and thus gained a sudden entry into society, escorted the Duchess of Dash into the dining room. The multiplicity of forks and knives and spoons staggered him. The soup nearly made him faint. But he took his courage and an olive in both hands, and launched forth pluckily.

“Bloomin’ dull day, Duch, ain't it?” he began, recalling topic number one. “Ahem!" he coughed as he remembered the next topic, dress. “Er– do you wear flannel next the skin?” A marble shoulder nearly knocked him in the eye– a very cold and frigid shoulder. “Hum.” muttered Quickrich. “Rather hard to get along with. Let's see. I'll try a pleasantry.” The Duchess of Dash’s back was turned to him. He protruded a fore finger and jabbed her in the ribs. “Click!” he cried playfully. And that absolutely did it, and himself with it.– London Answers, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Edwardian Brits’ Etiquette Supremacy?

With the Continental eater, the knife enters into conversation. It is retained in the gesticulating hand, it is raised imploringly to the celling, and — heaven!— it is brought into strange circles of argument. It is used to point the conclusion at the very breast of the fellow diner. When you see a man waving his knife at table, you may be sure he is an alien. “We wear no swords here,” as Sir Lucius O'Trigger says, nor do we argue with knives at table. – London Chronicle, 1907

Good Table Manners are the Art in Which the English Claim to Be Supreme

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They Sneer at Other Nations Germany, France and America, Say the Britons, Cannot Compare With Them in Good Form at Meals — Use of the Knife, Fork, Spoon and Napkin

Let it be admitted that our army is a failure, has never won a victory and never will; admitted that our navy would have difficulty in sweeping six combined great powers off the sea; admitted that we cannot act up to the French standard or trade up to the German or hustle up to the American or cheat up to the Greek. But we cherish our little pride and prejudice. The Englishman regards himself and is generally regarded as the best dressed man in the world. He also plumes himself on having the best table manners. To the Frenchman may be conceded the supremacy in the preparation of food, while the production of it owing to the decay of our agriculture, may be left to such outlying places as Siberia and Chicago.

But when it comes to the eating of food the Englishman asserts his supremacy, for if the highest art be to conceal art the highest etiquette of eating should be the triumphant pretense that one is not eating at all. And here the Englishman wins. He can eat his way through a seven course meal quite unobtrusively. It was not always so.

Lord Chesterfield, as I have been reminded by Mr. Philip Wellby's edition of the “Advice to His Son,” sketches the awkward man who “holds his knife, fork and spoon differently from other people, eats with his knife to the great danger of his mouth, picks his teeth with his fork and puts his spoon, which has been in his throat twenty times, into the dishes again. If he is to carve, he never hits the joint, but in his vain efforts to cut through the bone scatters the sauce in everybody's face. He generally daubs himself with soup and grease, though his napkin is commonly stuck through a buttonhole.”

That napkin is a test of table manners, and the nice conduct of the napkin caught the attention recently of the German Emperor, who saw one of his guests tucking the napkin under a chin. “Do you want to be shaved?” was the Imperial question. England's supremacy— in the matter of soup— lies in the spoon. An Englishman is taught to take soup from the side of the spoon. And he is the only man on earth who emerges from soup with the white shirt front of a blameless dinner and without the aid of a tucked napkin. He lays the napkin across his knees and uses it when necessary without ostentation.

That discreet conduct of the knife is the Englishman's pride and prejudice at table. There is no nation which (in its upper middle classes) reaches the English standard of the nice conduct of the knife, though we are assured that in the highest circles— among ameers, shahs, sultans, dukes and millionaires—there is a beautiful uniformity of deportment. Our insular instinct is to make the knife as inconspicuous as possible, for there is some suggestion of brutality in the slicing of bits of corpses that are doomed to keep our rile bodies alive.

No such feeling restrains the German eater, and the French diner is scarcely less sensitive. The German who feeds in the average restaurant will shovel his food into his mouth with the blade of his knife and when in a difficulty, will cram it down with the handle, nor has he the least scruple about depositing the rejected residue upon the floor. Moreover, with the Continental eater, the knife enters into conversation. It is retained in the gesticulating hand, it is raised imploringly to the celling, and — heaven!— it is brought into strange circles of argument. It is used to point the conclusion at the very breast of the fellow diner.

When you see a man waving his knife at table, you may be sure he is an alien. “We wear no swords here,” as Sir Lucius O'Trigger says, nor do we argue with knives at table.

The English knife, with all its blood thirsty suggestions, is reduced to the lowest and least obtrusive office. It is not even dug into the salt cellar, for England has reached the delicacy of salt spoons, and only in a Soho restaurant will she give you the real savor of the continent by providing salt cellars without spoons. You shove your knife into the salt and dream of Paris, Bohemia, the gypsy life in which “you dip your fingers in the pot.”

England has suppressed the knife at table. The Englishman does not use it for argument or menace or persuasion or even for the taking of salt. His table manners enjoin that the knife shall never be raised. The properly conducted knife at table never reaches forty-five degrees above the horizontal.

Unfortunately the American goes a little too far in the desire to avoid the obtrusive use of the knife and takes refuge In obtrusive concealment. Many Americans will slice their meat with the knife, lay the knife by the sitle of the plate and put the pieces into the mouth with the fork held in the right hand. Now, this is injustice to the knife, which has its modest function.— London Chronicle, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

The King Mourned Poor Manners

The fashionable King Edward VII was a stickler for etiquette, but could, at times, be rude himself. — “Mr. Greville wore a white waistcoat — an unpardonable faux pas, seeing that the Court is in mourning. The King flung sarcastic remarks at Greville throughout the dinner and was quite angry...”

King Annoyed by Guest’s White Vest —

Britain’s Ruler Resents Faux Pas

Sydney Greville Commits Breach of Etiquette at Dinner — His Majesty Later Graciously Forgives Offender

LONDON, Feb. 11.— Sydney Greville, the Earl of Warwick’s brother and Groom in Waiting to the King, is the latest victim of His Majesty’s etiquette craze.

Dining the other evening to meet the King, Mr. Greville wore a white waistcoat — an unpardonable faux pas, seeing that the Court is in mourning. The King flung sarcastic remarks at Greville throughout the dinner and was quite angry when other guests, including Mrs. Keppel, Lady Essex and Lord Revelstoke, tried to treat the affair in a bantering spirit.

Afterward when playing bridge His Majesty sat with his back to Mr. Greville to avoid continued sight of the provocative garment.

But the King never harbors resentment, and three days later commanded a dinner party at Greville’s rooms in St. James’ palace with the same guests. He was most gracious to his host and referred to the waiscoat incident laughingly.— Special Cable to The Herald, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Wealthy Americans Need Not Apply

The Prince of Wales is notoriously against the rich American who comes over to England with the idea of buying himself or herself into society. To his aunt, Princess Christian, he remarked not long ago, with reference to the latest comer: “Mrs. Potter Palmer? Mrs. Potter Palmer? Who is she?” –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
On Mrs. Potter Palmer, author Aline B. Saarinen wrote, “so fabulous were her jewels that a newspaper declared that when she appeared on the S.S. Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse with a tiara of diamonds as large as lima beans, a corsage panned with diamonds, a sunburst as big as a baseball, a stomacher of diamonds and all the pearls around her neck, Alois Burgskeller of the Metropolitan Opera, who was singing at the ship’s concert, was stopped right in the middle of a high note.” – Above, Mrs. Potter Palmer, wealthy American socialite, businesswoman and philanthropist
– image source, Wikipedia 

Rich Americans to be Tabooed? 

Edward opposed to foreign inundation 

 Pushy bid for royal favor fails 

Anglo-American Residents Antagonistic to Increasing Stream That Tries to Break Down Barriers of Exclusiveness

Special Cable to The Herald — There is such a decided feeling in England against the constant influx of visitors that it is quite a question what will happen in following seasons. King Edward himself has openly expressed his opinion that too many Americans come to London with the intention of pushing into society, and for the last two or three years he has persistently refused to be introduced to any newcomers. It is notable that many of his best friends are Americans, among them, of course, being Consuelo, Duchess of Manchester; Mrs. Arthur Paget, Mrs. Townsend, the countess of Essex, as well as Mrs. Hall Walker, who is partly American, and in the old days he was very friendly with Mrs. Mackay and Mrs. Ronalds. Although he said to Mrs. Potter Palmer at Marblehead, “Why do you not come and settle down in England?” what was taken as a pressing invitation was not followed by any other attention except one to lunch with the royal party at Ascot. She was never invited to any great function and, although she took Egypt and the “White Ladye” with the express object of attracting to herself a royal visit and gave very pressing invitations to Consuelo, Duchess of Manchester, Mrs. Hall Walker, the Countess of Essex and other favorites, this last patent bid for royal favor was without any result.

The Prince of Wales is notoriously against the rich American who comes over to England with the idea of buying himself or herself into society. To his aunt, Princess Christian, he remarked not long ago, with reference to the latest comer: “Mrs. Potter Palmer? Mrs. Potter Palmer? Who is she?”Anglo-American residents are also much against these casual visitors who sometimes do them discredit. The young Duchess of Marlborough and Roxburghe, Lady Curzon, Mrs. George West and others much resent being classified with some other Americans who come over and try to push themselves into the inner circle. It is felt that the influence of Mr. and Mrs. Whitelaw Reid will make a great change. Mr. Reid is a man of great social experience and man of the world and a diplomat with a natural talent for Judging men and matters at their value. There is no doubt that presentations at court will not be so easily managed in the future as they have been in the past.

The most important American presentation at the court this year was that of Lady Bagot, whose debut was watched with the greatest interest by all the smart American set. Consuelo, Duchess of Manchester lent her all her jewels, so that she really made a gorgeous effect, and in the royal circle several inquiries were made as to who the new beautiful American peeress could be. Everyone is agreed that the sensational Americans in London this season have been Mrs. Crackenthorpe, Mrs. Townsend, Mrs. John Jacob Astor, Mrs. Shaw and Mrs. Nat Goodwin. Of the pronounced success of these five women there is no question. That Mrs. Astor should succeed was in the natural order of things. She has charmed every one by her beauty and smartness. She dresses beautifully, too. Mrs. Shaw was perhaps her most immediate rival, and when she stayed at her house in Portland place she was considered by many to outshine her handsome hostess. 

Mrs. Townsend made her success with the King a year or two ago, and she has in no wise lost her position, but they say that the only woman of whom Mrs. George Keppel is jealous is Mrs. Crackenthorpe, the handsome daughter of Gen. Daniel Sickles, who dances in the most fascinating manner the old Spanish dance in costume. Since she performed before the King and Queen. she has become so popular that she declares she will return again next year. It is ordered that both Mrs. Crackenthorpe and Mrs. Townsend should be the wives of Belgian diplomats. The success of Mrs. Nat Goodwin was partly due to Mrs. Newhouse, who championed her from the beginning, when people were inclined to look coldy at the beautiful actress. – Los Angeles Herald, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Offending Royal Medical Etiquette

“The King recently heard of her power and during his visit to Chatsworth summoned her to soothe the pain in his injured foot, which the surgeons have had in hand since his accident while shooting a couple of months ago.”

American Woman Makes Strange Cures in London – Impresses His Majesty While Offending Medical Etiquette

Her Hands Said to Be Charged With Something That Is Akin to Radium

LONDON, Feb. 3.—A well-known American woman here, whose husband managed to go through all his money and hers, suddenly discovered that she possesses remarkable healing powers and has been turning her gift to account. If she continues to succeed as she has done in the last few weeks, she will soon find herself rich again, for society patients pour in upon her. The King recently heard of her power and during his visit to Chatsworth summoned her to soothe the pain in his injured foot, which the surgeons have had in hand since his accident while shooting a couple of months ago. 

It was the Duchess of Devonshire who told his Majesty of the woman's powers, her Grace herself having made a wonderful “cure” from neuritis through the healer's machinations. A short time ago, the friends of the Duchess had an idea that her days were numbered, owing to an acute attack of that painful disease. One fine morning, however, to the amazement of every one, it was discovered that she was well. The doctors were staggered and regarded the transformation as a mystery. The patient, being a wise woman of her generation, kept the secret of her “cure,” knowing full well what a deadly thing it is to offend medical etiquette, and one of her physicians was in the King's household.

A great scientist who has examined the hands of the healer says they are charged with something akin to radium, so much so that if one of the palms is placed too long upon a patient's skin it singes it slightly. She is regarded as a phenomenon and is arousing immense interest in medical and scientific circles, but as she has been a well-known society woman she is endeavoring to keep her name a secret. – San Francisco Call, 1904 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia