American Manners in 1981

State dinners had become so large by Ronald Reagan's presidency that none of the china could accommodate the number of guests. First Lady Nancy Reagan ordered 4,370 pieces of Lenox china, enough place settings of 19 pieces for 220 people. This was nearly twice as many placesettings as other recent services. The Reagans wanted a design that would display a strong presence for the subtly colored State Dining Room, now painted white. Nancy Reagan worked closely with Lenox designers to create a pattern with bands in a striking scarlet red, which was her favorite color. The pattern was bordered on each side with etched gold, which created a sparkling contrast with the soft ivory china. The presidential seal was in raised gold in the center, partially overlaying the red border. On pieces such as the service and dessert plates, fine gold crosshatching overlays the red. The Reagans were often criticized for the $209,508 cost, but the china was not funded by taxpayers. It was paid for by the J.P. Knapp Foundation.

The Social Graces Come Back Into Style

The Ronald Reagan family, setting a new lifestyle in the White House, also is turning America around on its social graces. You could call the process Nancy's national finishing school. Minding your Ps and Qs went into limbo in the revolutionary 1960s, remained there through the informal days of the Carter administration, but now is resurging under the Reagan influence, says one social arbiter who has written 12 etiquette books. What next? White gloves again, perhaps even hats, tea dances instead of disco, organdy replacing denim, and the waltz instead of the Texas two-step Marjabelle Stewart, who has made a successful career of teaching etiquette to everyone from 5-year-olds to executives on the way up. said the Reagans perhaps without being aware of their influence are casting an aura of elegance that is contagious. “They entertain graciously,” she said “They have the same attitudes, the same manners This is the most comfortable the White House has ever been ... all the Reagans did was move from one home to another. 

“The Reagans are truly representative Americans. They're so low key. They didnt have to have a new house. We had an aura when the Kennedys were in the White House. But Jackie brought a definitely European flavor. She leaned more to entertaining the French and British.” Mrs. Stewart, in a telephone interview from her home in Kewanne, Illinois, cited other factors reviving old-fashioned good manners and taste. “The royal wedding (of Prince Charles and Lady Diana) has had a big effect,” she said. “Think of how many Americans got up at weird hours to watch it on television. I'm in the Moline, Illinois, area and that meant getting up six hours early. Just how much that ultra-formal wedding will have in establishing more formality at weddings of other couples remains to be seen, when the peak marrying season arrives in the spring and summer. Especially with that 26 foot long train of Princess Diana’s,” she said. 

“It also remains to be seen how many young women will take to hats.” The Princess of Wales was hatted for her departure on the honeymoon and has worn chapeaux at almost every public appearance since. But then Britain's royal women have had an addiction to hats for generations. Mrs. Stewart said “renewed stress on formal education also was having an effect upward mobility, I call it,” she said. “You have a happy feeling that you're on your way. There is the communications influence. More people read, see and hear about everyday courtesies…Were buying etiquette books because we need them, not because we're putting on,” she said

Mrs. Stewart became an etiquette authority from running a finishing school in Silver Spring. Md. Robert Luce, a publisher, had a daughter in the school and suggested that Mrs. Stewart put some thoughts into a book. From this grew another idea: Why not offer etiquette classes through department stores? The White Gloves & Party Manners business was established in the 1960s. At one time, she had 400 franchises in leading stores around the nation. In the 70s she fell on hard times but says today, "I kept teaching in the Southern belt. They'd die before they give up their manners. – From and article by Gay Pauley, UPI Senior Editor:  1981

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Prince and Princess Visit Washington

The Princess will take at least six outfits for each day to cover any eventuality and weather condition. She'll bring a stack of hats, gloves and handbags. She'll also carry a black outfit in case she has to go back home for a funeral. The Spencer family tiara will be packed for the White House dinner next Saturday, or perhaps a more grand one borrowed from the Queen. – Plaid Princesss: “She likes bold designs. She's revitalized British fashion,” Stephen Barry says. – By Lionel Cherruault

As the USA rolls out the red carpet for her first visit next weekend, a former royal valet gives us an inside look at her life with Charles.

When Prince Charles went to Washington, D.C, in 1970, President Nixon tried to match him up with his pretty daughter Tricia. But both the Prince and Tricia had different ideas. The next time he went to the USA, it was 1977 and he had me for company. This time around, there was no threat of matchmaking. Amy Carter was too young. “At least I won't have a daughter to face,” he said before we left. 

This time he brings a wife. When the prince arrives in the States next Friday, he'll be accompanied by the beautiful and exceptional Princess Diana. And one thing is certain: Princess or not, Diana is tremendously excited by the prospect of her first trip to the United States. The purpose of this voyage is to visit an exhibit of paintings, silver and furnishings from the great homes of Britain The Treasure Homes of Britain at the National Gallery of Art in Washington and also to raise money for Prince Charles' pet charity, United World Colleges, at a dinner in Palm Beach, Fla. 

The couple will spend the first three days in Washington and will fly to Palm Beach on Tuesday. Knowing that the cameras will be upon Princess Diana, she has been having a field day with her clothing allowance. During the summer, she made trips to London from Balmoral Castle in Scotland for fittings for her brand-new wardrobe. Her bags will be laden with evening gowns from Belville Sassoon and day clothes from Bruce Oldfield, her favorite designer. It looks as if the color scheme will be autumnal.

The Princess will take at least six outfits for each day to cover any eventuality and weather condition. She'll bring a stack of hats, gloves and handbags. She'll also carry a black outfit in case she has to go back home for a funeral. The Spencer family tiara will be packed for the White House dinner next Saturday, or perhaps a more grand one borrowed from the Queen.

When the royal couple dine with the Reagans, the First Lady will find that Princess Diana is very different from the 20 year-old former kindergarten teacher whose wedding Nancy Reagan attended on July 29, 1981. The difference will also be noted by the millions of USA citizens who watched the royal wedding on TV.

Even though Princess Diana coped su perbly that day, I never would have imag ined her becoming the poised performer she is now.

She always was radiant. But now the Princess, at 24, has matured and become much more stylish and confident. She has grown into her royal role; she's everyone's idea of what a Princess should be.

Royalty is a bit like Dynasty and Dallas without the double dealing. But, while the royals are much richer, they are much less grand. There aren't a lot of champagne corks popping about the palace. In fact, champagne has just been banned at diplomatic receptions as an economy measure. And the Queen, obsessed with conserving electricity, is often seen switching off lights. Princess Diana, however, is putting a new shine on the royal image. She's very beautiful, incredibly photogenic and she wears clothes well.

The Princess was a triumph throughout the Australia tour which took place in 1983, shortly after the birth of Prince William. That was an easy trip because Australians treat the British royals like members of the family, so if they make the odd mistake, nobody takes much notice. During that trip, she looked to Prince Charles for guidance and he was always close at hand.

The princess's equally triumphant tour of Italy last spring was a gentle ride, too. All Italians love a pretty girl and, as she can't speak Italian, she just had to smile a lot.

Both these tours were the nursery slopes. The Queen’s advisers now believe Diana is ready and experienced enough for this United States trip. She has had practice at being a Princess and she is poised enough to handle the press and the pressures involved in a trip to the USA.

This visit will mark one of her biggest challenges, but I can’t see Princess Diana failing

She has learned to love the limelight. In fact, Prince Charles is the first to admit that his wife is usually the main attraction. When the couple toured Australia, the Prince said with a grin: “I might as well have stayed in the car.”

I believe she’ll draw the largest crowds Washington has seen in years. In my trav els around the States, I have found a boundless curiosity about the British royal family. People in the USA are fascinated by the glamour of it all.

The Prince, for his part, loves the United States and is looking forward to introducing Princess Diana to your country. Though normally he moans and groans about overseas trips, an invitation to the USA is accepted with alacrity. – By Stephen Barry for the San Bernardino Sun, 1985

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Reagan’s Royal Etiquette Blunder

The late, Harold Brooks-Baker, an American authority on British nobility who was a sought-after commentator on the doings -- serious, scandalous or merely ridiculous -- of the British royal family, was at one time managing director of Debrett’s. He published in 1978 a tongue-in-cheek, bestselling guide to The English Gentleman, who “does not drive a Rolls-Royce unless it is very old and smells of dogs”, and always “speaks to the engineer before a train trip because of an old belief that he owns the railroad.”

“Princess David?” No, a royal blunder! Charles and Diana may be casual about etiquette, but not their names!

President Reagan made a double gaffe at a White House dinner by first calling his guest “Princess David” and then “Princess Diane,” a royal genealogist said Sunday in London. Reagan erred by not using her official title, the Princess of Wales, and when he tried to correct himself he got it wrong again by muddling Diana's name. “It's like calling Queen Elizabeth II ‘Libby’ or something like that,” said Harold Brooks-Baker, publishing director of Burke's Peerage, one of the bibles of British bluebloods. While the Princess is popularly referred to in the news media as Princess Diana, her official title is the Princess of Wales, which is what she is called at all official functions. Brooks-Baker said he blamed Reagan's speechwriter and the British and American protocol experts who were given advance copies of the speech for the breach of royal etiquette not the President. “He's not to know, but his advisers are to know,” Brooks-Baker told The Associated Press. “It's no wonder the Prince of Wales looked somewhat downcast after the President proposed the toast.” 

The gaffes came while Reagan was making a toast at a White House dinner Saturday night attended by show business celebrities such as Clint Eastwood, John Travolta and Neil Diamond. While millions of Americans watching the Prince and Princess of Wales on television might not notice, Brooks-Baker said the two are changing royal etiquette. “Right at the top is the fact that they behave as equals. It is no longer prince and consort ... or Queen and Consort, as it is still with the Queen and Prince Philip,” he said. “More often than not, on this tour, we have seen the Princess of Wales taking the lead. Then, there are the public displays of affection. Never, previously, would royal couples dream of kissing in public, as the Prince has kissed the Princess.” 

On their Washington trip, Brooks-Baker said, the royal couple are keeping to the “royal, and upper class, tradition of separate bedrooms, though never before would there have been photographs of royal sleeping arrangements as there have been recently, ostensibly to publicize English design. Royalty should never be used for advertising.” He said the choice of Palm Beach for the couple's next stop also surprised many Americans, especially the poor and homeless. “Palm Beach is a symbol of the thoughtless, vulgar, nouveau riche, careless of the plight of others,” the U.S.-born Brooks-Baker said. “It is like asking the Pope to go to Sodom and Gomorrah.”  — (By Edith M.Lederer, AP) San Bernardino Sun, 1985

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J.Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia