Russian Picnic Etiquette and History

In 1936, Hilda Leyel wrote in “The Ideal Picnic”, “The art of preparing cold dishes lies in choosing dishes that are better eaten cold than hot,” she wrote. This was a classic canon and an important rule of a European picnic. But the important Russian distinction and making of a Russian picnic, was the obligatory samovar, or rather many samovars.  Yes, people went out into nature to enjoy spring, then summer, and to drink tea. - Above, The Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna with her granddaughters at a picnic. - Photo source, Pinterest

Today, the word “picnic”, which is understood in many languages ​​including Russian, too, usually means a short trip to nature or just going to the nearest park to have a good time in the fresh air and, of course, to eat tasty and pleasant food. This is really nothing new. People have spent their time like this for centuries. 

People who lived in villages and worked the land often took food with them. European aristocrats loved hunting and, of course, ate out in nature too. Travelers ate on the road. Residents of large cities were always accompanied by “street food”, as we would say now - the own kitchen it was a luxury available just to few. Fires in cities were more than dangerous. 

It is interesting that in Russia they traded “street food” not from stalls and tents, but stationary or mobile peddlers. Also known as “hawkers”, these peddlers  of food for picnics (razhnosshiki and korobeiniki) were very popular. According to official data, by 1870 in Moscow almost 7000 people were busy in this field. They traded everywhere, including in Red Square. This ease of purchasing the necessary picnic foods saw more Russians flocking to picnics. A huge contribution to the development of picnics, of course, belongs to France and England. But Russian picnics, of course, had their own history and they created some interesting details. 

The idea of ​​city walks in Moscow came from foreigners back in the days of Peter the Great. In Russia, there was no tradition of celebrating “May Tree Day” or Maifeiertag. Muscovites may have looked at it with distrust at first, but then they decided that one more holiday was a great idea. Today I would say The First of May is popular in Europe and in Russia especially, and it still more or less starts picnic season.  This is where “May Day” or “First of May” came from; political meetings that initially had nothing to do with the Bolsheviks and politics in general. But it was still a step towards the picnic format, but not yet.

In the 19th century, Moscow Governor General Prince Dmitry Golitsyn made the May Day festivities in Sokolniki (a park in Moscow that still exists) an official holiday, meaning that most educational institutions, shops and factories closed earlier on this day or worked until lunchtime so that workers and students could attend the May Day festivities.

It was an important city event. Since the time of Peter, all Russian Tsars, or members of their families, had the custom of attending May Day festivities. In Moscow the governor general himself always had his own tent for such an occasion. For the rich participants, this outing was an occasion to show off their new, most fashionable outfits and expensive carriages. For others, it was simply a pleasant stroll at the beginning of the warm season. It should be noted that it had such a social significance, representatives of all classes met here and did not distance themselves from each other, at least not in any obvious way. Russian Tsars and family members also loved picnics, according to memoirs and surviving photographs. 

An important condition of European picnics, French and English, was the principle: do not cook anything, do not heat, do not cool, bring everything ready. In 1936, Hilda Leyel wrote in “The Ideal Picnic”, “The art of preparing cold dishes lies in choosing dishes that are better eaten cold than hot,” she wrote. This was a classic canon and an important rule of a European picnic. But the important Russian distinction and making of a Russian picnic, was the obligatory samovar, or rather, many samovars.  Yes, people went out into nature to enjoy spring and then summer, and to drink tea. As soon as the Moscow public began, for example, to regularly come to Tsaritsyno (a park in Moscow) for picnics, and the opening of the railway line greatly facilitated this, enterprising people immediately realized where the business was here. They came up with the idea of ​​renting out samovars with all of the necessary utensils.

Pretty soon, everyone who came for at least a day or even a few hours, had the opportunity to rent a samovar and have tea right there in the park. For those who did not want to rent a samovar, another option was available. Women who lived nearby, for example, Sokolniki, chose a nice place, decorated it as best they could, sometimes set up tables and benches, heated up a samovar and offered hot tea and even treats to those walking along the picturesque paths. Some had their own favorite and trusted women. And favorite samovars!

You could take food from “peddlers” ( small traders) or bring it with you, and that would definitely be a picnic. In addition, the concept of “a dacha” already existed in Russia. A dacha, known to many as a seasonal, second home, for a Russian is something completely special, like that very mysterious Russian soul and famous Russian nostalgia. At least, that’s what they write in classical Russian literature and that's our reputation in the world. A dacha is a special thing for all Russians. 

The everyday life and etiquette of the Russian summer resident required a very thoughtful approach to this sacred pastime and status. The etiquette of the summer resident’s image was of utmost importance. It was not only about the location of the summer residence, but also about a million other details, from dress codes to the way one approached the kitchen, the way food was served, and the important question if the rules of etiquette were less strict in the countryside compared to the city. 

It is crucial to understand that a “dacha” and a country estate, or manor (“pomestie”or “usadba”), were two very different things. If a manor is still a farm, then the whole idea of a dacha was that nothing like that could happen there. Of course, there could be a garden and even, in theory, a vegetable garden, but this was strictly for pleasure, not to provide or sell anything. Just for fun. However, life in a dacha is a lazy and unhurried life, with visits and picnics nearby. Picnics often led to acquaintances and even marriages. Reputation and etiquette details were of great importance.

Wealthy people had their own dachas, but in the 19th century, everyone could, or almost could, or could barely, try to rent something for the summer. Just a few could afford to rent both a city apartment and a dacha at the same time. So early in May, around large cities, the “big move” started, because everything was transported - all things and even furniture. In these dacha locations, their own life, their own rhythm and their own etiquette took place. Picnics fit well into the summer life of dacha owners. Those who did not have the opportunity to rent a dacha had to come to these dacha locations for a one-day picnic, of course, with a samovar. – By Kseniia Markova, 2025

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

16th C. Russian Bride’s Etiquette

In the church it was etiquette for her to fall down at her husband's feet and to knock her head on his shoe in token of her subjection. —A late 19th century “Russian bride of the better class” in St. Petersburg, Russia 

                                             

Russian Women of Old

In olden times, the position of women in Russia was deplorable, and, as elsewhere, it has only improved by degrees. Herberstein declares that no woman was deemed virtuous unless she lived in domestic seclusion and was never seen outside the home; and Jenkinson says that except on their way to church at Christmas and Easter, or when paying visits, it was an accident if you ever saw a Russian lady. 

This habit has survived more or less even to this century, for Bremmer speaks of the women as “guarded with Oriental seclusion” and Théophile Gautier attests the same thing. So strong in the 16th century was the prejudice against women, that even fowls or animals killed by their hands were regarded as unclean; and often, if their husbands were absent, they might be seen standing at their doors and begging some passerby to perform for them the butcher’s office. In olden days, marriages were always arranged by intermediaries, and no one would have dreamed of a conducting his own suit.

One of the most popular changes affected by Peter the Great, was the regulation that no couple should be married without the consent of both parties, and that they should be allowed to meet for at least 6 weeks before marriage. The intending bridegroom sent his future wife such symbolical presents as needles and thread, raisins and fruit, and a whip. On the wedding day there was always the show of resistance on the part of the bride so common everywhere; that the bride would resist to the most uttermost leaving her house to go to the church, and with sob and make a great noise all the way thither. 

In the church it was etiquette for her to fall down at her husband's feet and to knock her head on his shoe in token of her subjection. It is said that for three days after marriage, she risked her character if she spoke more than a few words at meal time “with great manners and great reverence” to her husband. It was customary for husbands to make their wives and daughters an allowance for paint, and so fond were the ladies of this mode of adornment that Jenkinson compared them to millers' wives who looked as if they had been beaten about the face with bags of meal. — The Gentleman's Magazine, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1958 Soviet Socialist Etiquette, Pt 2

From Part 1: People should not be forced to drink at the table. Forcing a person to drink more than he wishes is a sign of bad taste. When a lot of toasts are made, you must not always drink to the bottom. The glass should be held at the stem and not raised too high.

Russians Briefed on Socialist Social Conduct, Part 2

If Emily Post were to visit the Soviet Union she would probably be both amused and horrified by the state of etiquette here. Officially, etiquette does not exist in comradely, friendly Soviet society, for it implies the cold superficiality of bourgeois and Court life. As with both things here, etiquette is politics. 

For 40 years no effort at all was made to “inculcate” manners. But now, four decades, dozens of steel mills and thousands of collective farms after the revolution — with the advent of pink kapron (nylon) stockings, washing machines and frozen green peas — etiquette is being re-emphasized in Russian life.

The most important exposition of the new etiquette line has appeared in a volume called “For a Healthy Way of Life.” Among other things, this book treats of the material and moral foundations of Soviet life, the preparation of healthy food, hair hygiene, care of the teeth, how to dress tastefully, and how to have good manners.

Here are a few excerpts from the chapter on good manners, written by N. Gordienko:

Personal Hygiene and Dress

• Everyone knows how necessary it is for good health and vigor to wash several times a day, clean the teeth morning and evening, go to the bath house or take a bath weekly (and in summer oftener), and so on. Yet, not all have developed in themselves a habit of doing these things constantly and under all conditions.
• Any person who adheres to the rule of hygiene will not eat or drink from poorly washed dishes or will not wipe his face with a dirty towel.
• He will not permit children to wipe their eyes with their hands but will teach them to use their handkerchief. 
• Being neat himself, he will manifest concern for cleanliness around him. 
• He will not extinguish a cigarette on a chair or drop ashes on the floor.

Women

• The same general concern as shown to elderly people is merited by the Soviet woman — our mother, wife and child. This is natural. The Soviet woman selflessly labors side by side with the man. She manifests a tender, maternal concern for children, creates family welfare and comfort and has an ennobling influence on everybody. Finally, she is physically weaker than a man and this must be taken into consideration.
• On the street, the woman walks to the right of the man (except with the military, and then to the left). 
• It is not tactful to leave your woman partner on meeting someone in the street. 
• If you have to talk to this person, introduce your partner and conduct the conversation.

Behavior in Clubs and Theatres

• At the theatre, movie, circus or stadium the woman is always offered the better seat.
• In many rural (and not rural) clubs, you can often see boys and girls eating sunflower seeds and when they leave there's a big pile of shells. There is no need to prove that such practices (eating nuts in public places) should not be done.
• If you are with a woman at the theatre, it is indecent to read a book during the intermission. 
• You should not make remarks during the performance.

Living in a Communal Apartment

• A well-bred person will not turn the radio set on full force, will not sing loudly and on leaving will not forget to turn off the radio. 
• He has the habit of knocking on the door before entering a neighbor's apartment.— T. Frankel for The NY Times, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1958 Soviet Socialist Etiquette

For 40 years no effort at all was made to “inculcate” manners. But now, four decades, dozens of steel mills and thousands of collective farms after the revolution — with the advent of pink kapron (nylon) stockings, washing machines and frozen green peas — etiquette is being re-emphasized in Russian life... Although good manners are created by the people, they came to us from the bourgeois Court society which imprinted upon them their class coloring, and in many cases, distorted their very essence. Bourgeois morals consider manners as a kind of screen behind which one can can conceal the surrounding people's one's true essence.

Russians Briefed on Socialist Social Conduct

If Emily Post were to visit the Soviet Union she would probably be both amused and horrified by the state of etiquette here. Officially, etiquette does not exist in comradely, friendly Soviet society, for it implies the cold superficiality of bourgeois and Court life. As with both things here, etiquette is politics. 

For 40 years no effort at all was made to “inculcate” manners. But now, four decades, dozens of steel mills and thousands of collective farms after the revolution — with the advent of pink kapron (nylon) stockings, washing machines and frozen green peas — etiquette is being re-emphasized in Russian life.

The most important exposition of the new etiquette line has appeared in a volume called “For a Healthy Way of Life.” Among other things, this book treats of the material and moral foundations of Soviet life, the preparation of healthy food, hair hygiene, care of the teeth, how to dress tastefully, and how to have good manners.

Here are a few excerpts from the chapter on good manners, written by N. Gordienko:

Bourgeois and Socialist Etiquette

If good manners serve as a certain manifestation of good breeding how then can one explain the distrust and at times scornful attitude toward them by some people? Why are these manners sometimes considered “trifles” which allegedly do not deserve attention and are even considered as remnants of capitalism?

Although good manners are created by the people, they came to us from the bourgeois Court society which imprinted upon them their class coloring, and in many cases, distorted their very essence. Bourgeois morals consider manners as a kind of screen behind which one can can conceal the surrounding people's one's true essence.

In socialist society we're all together. Different relationships have been established between people. Manners are completely freed from those alien distortions to which they are subjected in bourgeois and Court societies and they become the outward expression of the high internal culture of the Soviet man.

Being a Guest or Having Guests

• At the table, the man pays attention to the woman sitting to his right, not forgetting, of course, the woman sitting to his left.
• People should not be forced to drink at the table. Forcing a person to drink more than he wishes is a sign of bad taste.
• When a lot of toasts are made, you must not always drink to the bottom.
• The glass should be held at the stem and not raised too high.

Table Manners

• One must observe the necessary hygienic and aesthetic requirements. One must not sit down at the table without washing one's hands. 
• While eating, one must sit straight, not too far and not too close to the table. 
• One must not bend too much over the plate, nor rest ones chest or elbows on the table. 
• Keep legs near the chair and not stretched out under the table. 
• Some have had the bad habit of looking at papers or books while eating. 
• At the table it is improper to gesticulate.
• When pouring soup, do not pour out a full plate since some may spill over. If it is hot it can be cooled by noiselessly stirring with a spoon. Do not blow on it or you will soil the tablecloth.
• Meat dishes, “weenies” and chops are eaten with a knife and fork, but do not slice or cut everything up at once. You should cut off piece by piece. While doing this, of course, the knife should be held in the right hand and the fork in the left. 
• You never eat off a knife.
• When you are eating fish, you usually do not use a knife. This is dictated by reasonable measures of safety, for when cutting fish with a knife you may accidentally cut and swallow a small bone.
• Fruit compote is eaten with dessert spoons and if there are none, then with teaspoons. 
• Fruit pits are soundlessly spit out into the spoon by bringing the spoon up to your lip then dropping them on the plate or saucer.
• Tea, coffee, cocoa and milk are not poured full into the glass or cup. 
• You usually do not drink from the saucer.
• It is not recommended to take food from platters with your own spoon and fork. This is unhygienic and is not pleasant for the other people. — T. Frankel for The NY Times, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mid-20th C. Russian Manners

Things are different today and “the time has come to look anew at the outward forms of people's behavior,” he wrote. Training for good manners should start with the first class in school, or better still from the kindergarten, he advised... Russian kindergarteners in the mid-20th century

— Photo source, Pinterest.ru

Russians Admonished To Improve 

Manners

MOSCOW, Oct. 8 (Reuters)—Russians were told today that the time had come to improve their manners. A long article in the government newspaper Izvestia told them good manners were not just a survival of the Czarist past, but a useful asset in a modern, cultured society.

Recalling how habits had changed after the revolution of 1917, the writer said that in the 1920's a young girl's feelings of equality with men would be offended if her escort offered to help her with her coat.

Things are different today and “the time has come to look anew at the outward forms of people's behavior,” he wrote. Training for good manners should start with the first class in school, or better still from the kindergarten, he advised. — New York Times,1966

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Sticky Fingers Cause Etiquette Breach

 

Public Domain image of Count Paul Demidoff, Prince of San Donato

A Strict Follower of Etiquette

An amusing chapter of Laferrière’s forthcoming memoirs, according to the Paris correspondent of Appleton’s Journal, is devoted to a Russian celebrity at the Court of the late Emperor Nicholas, the Count Paul Demidoff. A young attaché to one ot the embassies, now a distinguished diplomatist, was invited to dine with Count Demidoff. On the return of the company to the salon, groups were formed here and there, and when the coffee was handed round, the young attache, carried away by the interest of the conversation in which he was engaged, took a lump of sugar from the sugar bowl with his fingers, when the servant presented the tray to him. 

Count Demidoff, indignant at this breach of etiquette, signed to the lackey to throw the rest of the contents of the sugar-bowl out of the window. The lesson was a severe one, and struck dumb those who witnessed it. But the spirituelle young offender, while understanding perfectly the insult intended, preserved an imperturbable calmness. He slowly drained the contents of his cup, and, walking deliberately to the window, he fixed his eyes on M. Demidoff and tossed carelessly into the street the cup and saucer of priceless Sèvres and the gold spoon. “I did not know that such was the usage,” he said to the Count. And then he recommended his conversation with an air of perfect nonchalance. — London Journal, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Russia’s 1990s Etiquette Revolution

In today’s class-conscious new Russia, however, refinement is on the rise, and those pondering careers in international business or diplomacy are seeking to rectify their deficit of graces. From social etiquette classes that have been added to public school curricula to resurrected pre-revolutionary finishing schools like those within the New University of Humanities founded here by Natalia Nesterova, there is growing interest— and income— in the teaching of proper manners.
—Photo source, Instagram

Minding Manners in Moscow

Vera Ignatieva’s lecture on how proper young ladies accept an invitation to dance is interrupted by a door slamming behind a tardy pupil. Ignatieva halts the culprit in her tracks with a glare as powerful as a stun gun.

“Is that any way for a cultured person to enter a room?” she demands of the trembling 7-year-old arriving for a first lesson. “Go back outside and try again— this time in a civilized manner!”

Across town, the latecomer is slightly older, but the reproving glance from Alena Gil is as withering as Ignatieva’s. “You are late again, Vika. And furthermore,” says the appalled etiquette teacher, “how dare you come into my classroom with gum in your mouth!”

Slammed doors, snapping jaws, slouchy posture and sloppy table manners are under attack in places such as Ignatieva’s Ballroom Dancing and Court Etiquette School and the Institute for Noble Young Ladies, where Gil teaches socially aspiring teens.

But after eight decades in which society put more stock in a young person’s skill handling a forklift than in his or her way with a salad fork, the purveyors of polish at Russia’s revitalized charm schools concede that they have their work cut out for them.

Boorish behavior was a hallmark of the Bolshevik era, when civility was thrashed by the coinciding brutalities of war, widespread poverty and social leveling. The remnants of the Russian aristocracy fled abroad to escape exile or execution.

In today’s class-conscious new Russia, however, refinement is on the rise, and those pondering careers in international business or diplomacy are seeking to rectify their deficit of graces.

From social etiquette classes that have been added to public school curricula to resurrected pre-revolutionary finishing schools like those within the New University of Humanities founded here by Natalia Nesterova, there is growing interest— and income— in the teaching of proper manners.

“We could hardly have operated during the Communist era, when the very concept of nobility was officially targeted for destruction,” says Nesterova from beneath the net veil of a milliner’s fanciful creation. “But now that it is possible, it is all the more important that we prepare a new generation of young women to be credits to their families, to their future husbands, to their employers and, most importantly, to themselves.”

The Institute for Noble Young Ladies, which is one branch of her private university, was reconstituted three years ago on the reputation of an imperial-era boarding school that trained the daughters of wealthy merchants and noblemen in the czar’s court.

Nothing but that somewhat antiquated ideal survived the traumas of communism, says Nesterova, and the institute now strives to incorporate the modern demands of society into the structure of education in more traditional spheres.

“In today’s conditions, it is not wise for a woman to be without the intellectual means to compete in the workplace, even if she expects to be a homemaker,” she says. “That is why we have added courses in office management and business to our cultural repertoire.”

Sexology, family planning and body-shaping aerobics are also new twists to the classic agenda, but they are additions graduates need to deal with modern realities, Nesterova says.

Vika Zavalnaya plans to study law at Moscow State University beginning next year, but she enrolled at Nesterova’s institute at the urging of her older brother, a successful businessman who supports her and their widowed mother.

“This is the kind of instruction that will give me an advantage in my profession,” says the exuberant 17-year-old, not yet weaned of her affection for gum. “When you work with clients, especially foreigners, it’s important to know how to conduct yourself gracefully in a restaurant as well as the office.”

Looking for Employees With Polish

Russian and foreign hiring executives say they are on the lookout for employees with polish and that something as simple as a thank-you note after an interview can affect their choices.

“Knowing how to present oneself is as important as professional and technical knowledge,” says Konstantin Korotov, head of personnel development here for Ernst & Young, the international accounting firm that employs 500 local professionals throughout the former Soviet Union. “We’ve always managed to recruit well-educated people, but we want those representing our firm in the CIS [Commonwealth of Independent States] to do so with the same level of quality and professionalism as we have in Sydney or Paris or Cleveland.”

For 15-year-old Nina Babicheva, a charm school diploma is the ticket into the most desirable social circles.

“I’m not very good at math or science. What I love here is the attention to art and culture,” says Babicheva, who is balancing the finishing school program with her high school education. “I don’t have any big career goals. If I have to work, I think I’d like to be a journalist. But what I would really like is to get married and be free to spend my whole day riding horses.”

Private finishing schools such as the institute in central Moscow remain beyond the means of the vast majority of families, even at what might seem a reasonable tuition by Western standards of $1,500 a year.

But programs tailored to local circumstances are growing alongside the charm-school courses for the well-heeled, including weekly etiquette classes introduced in most elementary schools over the past two years. It is mostly young women who have expressed interest in learning social graces, but some schools also aim to prepare boys for a more courtly environment.

“We are educating tomorrow’s business and social leaders, and we cannot do that properly with yesterday’s practices,” says Irina Sirina, vice principal of Moscow Elementary School No. 184 in the far northern suburb of Dmitrovsky. “Personal hygiene and good behavior were discussed in schools indirectly during the Communist era, but there was no encouragement of the individual at that time. Etiquette then existed only as another measure of conformance.”

Her school, like many other public institutions, has taken aim at the surly behavior exuded by older generations, in which even the most highly educated can be found spitting on the sidewalks or hunkering down over their dinner plates like prisoners. The hourlong classes cover both personal and social behavior, from good grooming to diction to table manners.

“In the past, etiquette was not considered important because the measure of an ideal student was his ability to multiply and write properly and learn by heart poems about Communist Party heroes,” says Marina Nayanova, deputy director of a private finishing school with 50 students in the provincial city of Kostroma, 250 miles east of Moscow. “We see how much children’s behavior has deteriorated, and parents now have to work so hard that the last thing they have time for is [worrying about] manners.”

Extensive instruction in the social graces tends to be limited to private schools, where tuition runs to thousands of dollars each year, or to hybrid institutions such as the Donskoy Military Academy, where commercial sponsors augment the fees paid by parents.

Ignatieva, who has been teaching ballroom dancing for 45 years and etiquette since it became politically safe to do so about a decade ago, accepts payment only as individual parents can afford it and relies on connections with the artistic elite to cover the rest of her expenses.

She teaches a few dozen children who come to her studio in small groups twice each week for dance instruction and brutally candid assessments of their social skills.

“All of the popular and elegant dances were forbidden under [Soviet dictator Josef] Stalin— the fox trot, the tango, everything, especially if it was foreign,” says the feisty proprietor of the children’s dance academy. “It wasn’t until a few years ago that there were enough of us to rise up and demand our dignity back.”

The ninth child in a poor family, Ignatieva learned how to behave in high society only after it was banished. She married the son of a count who had been driven into exile after the 1917 Bolshevik Revolution and acquired her knowledge of etiquette from a hidden book on English manners and in whispered lessons from her husband.

“What is nobility and how do you teach it?” asks the snow-haired widow who is long past retirement time but coy about age specifics. “Some are born with it, but it can also be acquired through learning, and one of the most elegant expressions of nobility is ballroom dancing.”

But to dance well requires self-confidence, elegance and poise— commodities she says were hard to come by in the Soviet era, which glorified the spartan lifestyle of the working class.

Those deficits have compelled Ignatieva to broaden her dance instruction to include a general education in social graces.

“You cannot act like a gentleman when you are dressed like a laborer,” Ignatieva admonishes a hapless and humiliated preteen who has come to her studio in jeans and black T-shirt.

Parents Learn Manners From Their Children

The young patrons of Ignatieva’s studio and at etiquette classes being offered across the country bear up determinedly despite the upbraiding, often because they are encouraged by their parents to take advantage of opportunities they never had.

Oksana Abramova, a homemaker whose 8-year-old daughter, Ella, is enrolled in an after-school etiquette class, confides in a visitor that she too is taking instruction— indirectly.

“We like it when she practices at home, because my husband and I are learning from her,” Abramova says of her daughter’s recent recitals on how to set the table.

Older students undertaking more extensive training for entrance into the new elite cite a need to find a middle ground between the crudeness of the past and the garish excesses of the present.

Gil, a former drama instructor who teaches posture and grooming at the Institute for Noble Young Ladies, helps her young charges learn to use makeup with moderation and to dress appropriately for the business environment that is currently populated more by those wearing leather miniskirts and spike heels than by devotees of tailored suits and silk blouses.

“We have many people in our society who are smart and capable, but in the future it will take more than that to be successful,” says 16-year-old Yekaterina Vorontsova, who wants to become a financial secretary after finishing her course work at the institute. “What we need isn’t just a matter of clothes and expensive cosmetics. What we need is sophistication.” — Los Angeles Times, 1997

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tea Etiquette in 19th C. Russia

Vintage postcard, featuring Russian Tea “Rag Dolls”

There are several elements without which it is difficult to imagine tea drinking in 19th century Russia:

1. A samovar

2. A teapot 

3. A “hot-water” doll (known as a tea cozy in the US and UK). 

3. Porcelain cups, saucers, teaspoons and dishes. In wealthy homes, fine porcelain was used for tea drinking.

4. Sweets to serve for eating while enjoying the tea (including sugar in a bowl for sweetening the tea).

Nobles were among the first began to drink tea. They copied the customs adopted by the British. In the noble families, the tea table was covered twice a day with a fine white cloth. Expensive porcelain dishes were present on the table to emphasize the elegance of the ceremony. Often they drank tea on the open summer terraces. Over tea, the guests talked about refined topics.

A Russian “hot water doll,” or tea cozy.

To serve and enjoy tea as Russians did in the 19th century – The samovar is placed directly on a small tea table or at the end of a larger table. Tea leaves are poured into a small teapot, with hot water from the samovar poured in, and a rag doll is put on top, keeping the water hot for steeping the tea. The resulting brew is poured into cups and diluted with boiling water. Everyone can choose the strength of the drink. 

Only the mistress herself pours tea, and only in case of emergency is this action entrusted by the eldest of the daughters, which corresponds to an unwritten rule - the same person, well familiar with the pouring, should always pour the tea. Tea is drunk from china, surely not topping up 1-2 cm from the edge of the cup, which is considered good form.

Etiquette for drinking tea properly in Russia: 

Do’s for tea drinking

• It is necessary to ensure that the edges of the teacup remain clean. It is not polite to leave traces of lipstick, or greasy food on it. It is necessary to blot lips with a napkin before starting tea drinking.
• Biscuits or cakes, which are often served with tea, are to be eaten with a spoon. If sand, puff cake or pie with sweet filling is served, it is necessary to use a fork and a knife. Cut a small piece carefully with a knife, and bring to the mouth with the help of a fork.
• If tea is served, refined sugar in a common bowl, you must use special tongs, with which you can put the required number of pieces in the tea or on a saucer.
• Earlier, to show that tea drinking is over, the guest turned his cup on a saucer. Now you can just put your spoon in the cup, and it will be perceived as a refusal of any more tea.

Don’ts during tea drinking

• You should not blow tea, even if it is very hot. Moreover, you cannot drink tea from a spoon, it is a sign of bad manners. It will take only a few minutes, and the tea will cool down, you just need to wait a bit.
• In merchant houses they drank tea from saucers, but now this tradition has gone down in history, so there is no need to do this at the table.
• A teaspoon after stirring tea should not be left in a cup or placed on a tablecloth, for this there is a saucer.
• You should not stick out your little finger while holding a tea cup.
• A teacup is always brought to your mouth. You do not need to bend over to take a sip.
• You need to drink tea silently.

Meet our newest contributor, Maria Pavlova. Russian born, Maria started studying etiquette and traditions as a young girl, as it was important to her family. She dedicated much time and research to 19th century etiquette and customs. For a time, she ran an etiquette school called, “The Russian Princess.” Now, living abroad, she offers consultations and conducts etiquette lessons online.



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Singled Out by Russian Etiquette

Single women were singled out – Etiquette required that Sofia Kovalevskaya, who went on to become a celebrated mathematician, be married to attend a Russian university. (Image- public domain)

Where Girls Must Marry

In Russia, if a girl desires to study at either of the universities, etiquette requires that she should be married. Accordingly she goes through the civil form of marriage with one of the men students, whom she may never have seen before and perhaps, may never speak to again.

These marriages are perfectly legal, and if the contracting parties like each other, they are united for life, but otherwise the marriage is dissolved when their university course is finished and both are free to marry again. Sofia Kovalevskaya, the celebrated mathematician, went through the civil marriage ceremony with a student whom she then saw for the first time, but who eventually became her husband.— Home Notes, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Gluttony in Russia

The full story of feasting enjoyed by Royal gluttons comes from the pen of a methodical Chef de Cuisine, a Frenchman in the service of Catherine II of Russia. He writes of almost unbelievable quantities of food, prepared and served by a small army of his assistants roasting cooks, spit-turners, pastry chefs, fish cooks and makers of entremets –– a grand total of 500 workers in the royal kitchens!

GLUTTONS and gourmets through the centuries have had similar tastes and capacities, and between the capacious eaters of today and famous trenchermen of history there is little difference. One thing all have in common, an incredible desire to consume vast quantities of rare and exotic food but if the shades of famous European chefs could peer over the starched white caps and shoulders of a modern cook, they would undoubtedly give startled shudders of disappointment at the menus of today.

“Why! These fellows have an easy task! Their menus do not compare to the great feasts given by our royal masters Kings and Queens who knew what good food meant!” Chagrined and amazed that the world has forgotten a tradition of feasting brought down through generations of gourmands, these skilled and proud chefs of a vanished world might conclude that human stomachs of this era have astonishingly diminished in size appetites have wilted and that no one knows how to enjoy fine food and plenty of it. Modern scientists give a somewhat different reason for the sad state into which old-fashioned feasting has fallen. Actual capacity, they say, is no smaller, but conditions have changed and men and women, no matter how blessed by wealth and leisure, have learned not to “eat themselves into the grave.”

Too much food at any one time amounts to no more than a primitive gorging, a habit which has come down from the time of cavemen who never knew when the next meal could be had. And in the hurried activities of modern life people cannot “sleep off” a great feast, as they could and did a century or more ago. “Heavy feasting,” say dieticians, “overloads not only the stomach but slows down the brain.” And this the successful business man and active woman cannot afford. Yet the fashion of small, selected menus -- for health's sake was not always so. Out of the past come tales of the mighty feats of rulers and generals, gentlemen of quality and dainty ladies assessed of palates and capacities unequalled since their time. 

True accounts of swashbuckling Counts and frivolous Countesses, proud Princes and Princesses who valued as a high accomplishment their ability to taste and consume amazing quantities of food and drink. There come Royal trenchermen ––two bottle, three bottle, and even four bottle men who thought nothing of quaffing that amount of old port after an evening’s full measure of sherry or sack, hock, bordeaux, burgundy and champagne and who later repaired to a late session of Parliament and delivered speeches that altered the destiny of nations. To these statesmen tremendous quantities of food and drink proved but a small handicap, because then they retired for a few days of rest and fasting. 

The full story of feasting enjoyed by Royal gluttons comes from the pen of a methodical Chef de Cuisine, a Frenchman in the service of Catherine II of Russia. He writes of almost unbelievable quantities of food, prepared and served by a small army of his assistants roasting cooks, spit-turners, pastry chefs, fish cooks and makers of entremets –– a grand total of 500 workers in the royal kitchens!

Being French, this chef knew the story of Le Grand Vatel, commander of the kitchen of Louis XIV –– the poor cook who threw himself on his sword when the costermonger failed to bring the fish on time for one of Louis the Glutton's feasts. Knowing the uncertain temper of royal masters and the fate of careless chefs, Catherine's head cook took precautions against mistakes. He wrote out each menu in great folios, and made sure that every portion of the feast arrived hours in advance of the designated hour. Today these historic and colorful records are preserved in the archives of the ancient Hermitage, Catherine the Great’s favorite residence where the vast dining hall resounded to hoarse toasts, merry tales, and the boisterous laughter of courtiers.

An unestimated variety of “snacks” were first served with vodka, almost a meal that preceded the feast itself, but these appetizers were on old tradition, mere “palate-ticklers“ to whet the hunger of strong men. And Catherine’s chef thought so little of their importance that he fails to mention them. Nor does her chef say much of the rare wines served with each course, or the list of imported beverages stored in the Royal cellars, yet some account of these, fortunately, comes from other Slavic sources.

An afternoon’s refreshment might well be several bottles per head of a delicious light wine, just as a cooler and “pepper-upper.” Or of vodka, six or seven “captains”–– a glass the size of a sherry glass –– before a meal. And if such a potation was mere refreshment, a pleasant interlude in the serious business of making love or quarreling, what did these people do when they settled down to important eating and drinking? The menu of one of Catherine's “small dinners” not a great court banquet, just a little dinner en famille, perhaps for Potemkin or for Orloff, with a few young officers of the guard and ladies in waiting to fill out the board:

• Ten light soups, such as consommes, broths, essence of vegetables, light cream soups. With these, a glass or two of sherry for the ladies a bottle or more for the men. 
• Twenty-four different entremets, such as pheasant, goose, rabbit, chicken, quail and so on. Just a little something to whet the appetite for the rest of the meal. And with these a light red wine from France or Greece. 
• Thirty-two tid-bits, such as marinated baby chicken, bird wings with parmesan, rolled chicken skin, lamb fries and other exotic dainties. With each, a different light wine. 
• The great soups, Borshtch, cabbage soup with sour cream, fish soup, cold soup made from cucumbers and beer, spinach soup with sour cream and other noble liquids. Here a dry Italian or Spanish wine was considered quite the thing. 
• The fish : a dozen or more varieties, such as sturgeon, carp, salmon, pike, greyling, cod and halibut. Trout, too, the famous fruit au bleu cooked in vinegar to color the skin a delicate azure. And here began the drinking of noble wines, preferably a white burgundy or a dry moselle. 
• Fried chicken with truffles. This course stood by itself. To wash it down one of the heady wines of the Rhineland, such as Johannesberer Schloss or Forsteter Kirchensturk. 
• Thirty-two more entremets, among them, becasse a l’Espagne, turtle, pheasant and other wild fowl, young pigeons with crawfish. A light red wine from Bordeaux or Greece. 
• The roasts! Ah. here is where your true trencherman found delight. Great sirloins of beef, wild goat, venison, eight different sauces, twelve salads. And to accompany them the noblest of all red wines, the rare vintage of Burgundy the wine wc know as Chambertin. From this point the "small dinner" begins to taper off. The heavy courses are finished. 
• Next come 25 hot and cold dishes, such as thinly sliced ham, tongue, cauliflower and the more exotic vegetables and champagne, of course. 
• Then 32 more roasts of the lighter variety, veal, lamb, mouton des prés salés and suckling pig. Again, a red wine, such as Chateau Neuf du Pape or Hermitage from the banks of the Rhone. 
• The desserts. Any quantity of them. Pastries, cheeses, fruits, puddings and ices. With these champagne or Tokay. 
• And later in the evening, tea with conserves, brandy and port. 

Catherine's favorites, of course, aped their Empress. Potemkin's establishment rivaled hers. He kept ten chefs, each of whom had his own specialties, and under them worked 240 helpers. It is to him that gluttons owe the record of dishes Catherine liked best boiled beef with salted cucumbers and cucumbers stuffed with nuts, peppers, ginger, etc. Potemkin liked to surprise his ruler with unusual dainties and he searched the world for them, Once, he served boiled reindeer tongues as the principal dish of the dinner. Strogonoff, another favorite of the Empress, was a valiant knight of the glistening table cloth. He gave dinners in the Roman fashion, patterning his feasts after Lucullus, placing his guests on couches. When Potemkin brought out reindeer tongues, he went him one better and served reindeer lips. Bear paws and fried porcupine were among his favorite dishes. And he introduced oysters to Russia. 

When Strogonoff invited guests to dinner he conducted them first into steaming hot Turkish baths and there they were served pressed caviar. Then his guests were conducted to couches around the brilliant board. The plate was of gold. Two enormous crystal chandeliers were suspended above the table. The centerpiece was a human skull filled with vodka, and from this the guests drank a loving cup with their host, proposing Lucullus' toast “Memento mori!”(Remember death!) – John Clayton in San Bernardino Sun, 1937

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Catherine the Great’s Etiquette

“Good rules all, but rules difficult for any but a Queen to hold before her friends. The penalty for breaking the rules was the drinking of a glass of cold water for every offense. The Queen was most severe with those who broke the tenth commandment; they were never again admitted to the Hermitage, after being once found guilty of tittle-tattle.”

The Russian Czar’s Grandest Palace

THE famed Winter Palace of the Russian Czar probably has seen more romantic history in the making than any other building in Europe...

There is a table hung on the walls of the palace, draped with a green curtain, which contains Queen Catherine the Great's by-laws for the Hermitage Societies. They were: 

1. Leave your rank outside, as well as your hat, and especially your sword. 
2. Leave your right of precedence, your pride, and any similar feeling outside the door. 
3. Be gay, but do not spoil anything; do not break or gnaw anything. 
4. Sit, stand, walk as you will, without reference to anybody. 
5. Talk moderately and not very loud, so as not to make the ears and heads of others ache. 
6. Argue without anger and without excitement. 
7. Neither sigh nor yawn, nor make anybody dull or heavy. 
8. In all innocent games, whatever one proposes, let all join. 
9. Eat whatever is sweet and savory, but drink with moderation, so that each may find his legs on leaving the room. 
10. Tell no tales out of school; whatever goes in at one ear must go out at the other before leaving the room. 

Good rules all, but rules difficult for any but a Queen to hold before her friends. The penalty for breaking the rules was the drinking of a glass of cold water for every offense. The Queen was most severe with those who broke the tenth commandment; they were never again admitted to the Hermitage, after being once found guilty of tittle-tattle. – Sausalito News, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Royal Russian Etiquette

In Russia there are several institutions which retain an oriental flavor and the fact that the Czarina is always surrounded by an imposing bevy of unmarried women is a case in point. At least fifty young women, all the daughters of great Nobles pay her personal service.

Russian Maids of Honor

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An Academy at Moscow Where They Are Trained — Must be Able to Sew, Read Aloud for Hours and Stand for Indefinite Periods

Speaking of the Russian schools, there is one academy at Moscow which is unique in its way. I am sure that a similar institution does not exist in any other country, says the Philadelphia Times. "It is a school for young ladies of high birth, whose parents desire that they shall become Maids of Honor at the Imperial Court. 

The English Queen has only six or eight Maids of Honor, and I believe the Royal attendants of that description are even fewer in number at Courts where there is a Queen Regnant, Queen Regent or Queen Consort of first-class rank. Of course, by "Queens" I also mean "Empresses." 

All the reigning Consorts who have the Imperial title are also Queens. Empress Elizabeth of Austria is also Queen of Hungary; Empress Alexandria of Russia is Queen of Poland; Empress Augusta Victoria of Germany is also Queen of Prussia and Queen Victoria is also Empress of India. In Russia there are several institutions which retain an oriental flavor and the fact that the Czarina is always surrounded by an imposing bevy of unmarried women is a case in point. At least fifty young women, all the daughters of great Nobles pay her personal service. They are in two ranks, "Cipher" and "Portrait," distinctions which I will presently explain. 

Candidates for the position of Maids of Honor to the Empress have their names registered by a Court official, whose title might be translated as "Overseer of the Maids." This is often done a day or two after the birth of the aspiring young ladies. At the age of ten they enter the official school of the Maids of Honor and there they are taught everything pertaining to the Court, as well as everything that goes to make a well-educated young gentlewoman. 

The girls must acquire the art of legible writing and be able to correspond fluently not only in Russian, but in English, German, French and Italian. They must be able to take dictation in all those languages rapidly. They are also expected to become familiar not only with the routine etiquette of their own and foreign Courts, but they must learn rules of prudence, delicate distinctions of rank and other intricacies of Court life, almost impossible to explain to those who have not been born in the atmosphere of the purple. 

Future Maids of Honor are also required to be not only clever at embroidery but capable, if necessary, of ordinary domestic stitching. While in attendance there are always possibilities of a ready needle being required for the Empress or a Grand Duchess. They are also expected to know how to order a dinner and how to direct cooks in the way of preparing dishes favored by Imperial personages. They must have a capacity of being able to read aloud for hours if necessary, without undue fatigue; being able to stand for indefinite periods; of being able to reecive snubbings, scoldings, even abuse with patient composure, and finally they must inculcate within them the fact that an Empress or Grand Duchess is a personage almost divine in attribute. 

All these accomplishments acquired —or apparently acquired— it remains with a Maid of Honor lastly to be of such favor in her features, her general appearance and her dress that she enforces attraction from the Empress or from one of the other half-dozen Grand Duchesses of Russia, who are permitted to have the second pick of the Maids of Honor, after the Czarina has finished her own appointment. 

Before, however, such appointment can be ratified, the Czar himself inspects the candidates. Indeed, at various periods the Czar makes a point of visiting the school and generally "looks over" the girls. The Czarina's Maids of Honor enjoy a barbaric splendor of costume that far exceeds anything to be seen at any other European Court. A white satin robe stretches from chin to toes, the buttons up the front being set with precious stones. Over this is thrown a sort of red velvet cloak, embroidered with gold and having long pendant sleeves. On their heads rests the kakochnik or national cap of crimson velvet, thickly studded with jewels, from the summit of which hangs a veil of white tulle that spreads half way over the voluminous train. This gorgeous array is donned on all State occasions until the wearer passes from the "Cipher" to the "Portrait" stage of promotion. 

The juniors wear for some years on their left shoulders the monogram of their mistress worked in pale blue silk, but after a period of service they substitute for this the portrait of the Empress framed in brilliants and exchange their crimson and gold for a less radiant cap of green and silver. 

While receiving their education they wear plain woolen frocks, with frilled silk aprons, but these dresses are so contrived that the upper part of the bodices and the long sleeves can be removed at will. Whenever the Czar visits the schools all the girls appear decollete. —  Sacramento Daily Union and Philadelphia Times, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia