Cast Iron Law Etiquette at Versailles

Kirsten Dunst as “Marie Antoinette” and Judy Davis as “Madame Etiquette” in the 2006 film “Marie Antoinette” depicting a similar scene as to the second anecdote described below. – Image source, Pinterest

STRICT RULES OF ETIQUETTE:

In Ancient France Everything Went by Cast Iron Law

In Baron Rothschild’s recent book of anecdotes he tells some curious tales of the extremely stringent rules of etiquette which prevailed at the French Court in the reign of Louis XVI. Marie Antoinette christened the Comtesse de Noailles, “Madame Etiquette.” Once, when she fell from a donkey in her private grounds, she jumped to her feet and cried out, laughing: “Go and fetch Mme. de Noailles; she will tell us what is prescribed for a Queen of France when she falls off a donkey.”

One cold winter night, when the Queen was undressing, the maid was handing her the chemise de nuit when the lady in waiting came in, to whom, as being of of superior rank, the garment had to be given over. She could not touch it, however, until she had removed her gloves, and before that operation had been performed the Duchess d’Orleans, a princess of the blood, turned up, and after her, the Comtesse de Provence, who was of higher rank still, so that the chemise had to be handed from one to the other, while the Queen stood waiting and shivering. At last, unable to contain herself any longer, she exclaimed: “It is odious! What a nuisance!” — In “The Mirror,” 1896

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette is a Social Lubricant

There is no special etiquette for our way of bathing, though there was for poor little Queen Marie Antoinette, who always bathed with a group of ladies-in-waiting looking on. Because we bathe in private, we can hold the soap as we please and splash as loudly as we want without running the risk of being ill bred. All society asks us is that, we shall be well tubbed and we can suit ourselves as to the method of securing that result. —Kirsten Dunst and Judy Davis portraying a young Marie Antoinette and “Madame Etiquette” in the 2006 film, “Marie Antoinette” — Photo source, Pinterest 

Sometimes, as was the case in the court of Louis XIV of France, etiquette runs away with itself and becomes ridiculous. In that court it was a breach of etiquette if anyone but a certain nobleman handed the King his Royal undershirt when he awoke in the morning. Another noble held his wash basin and another held the taper to his prayer book when he went through his friendly devotions. If we look far enough back in history we could find that even these absurd regulations had their basis in a matter of convenience.

Etiquette is the lubricating oil that makes the wheels of society run smoothly, and when Royal etiquette stipulates that a dozen or so graybeards, including the Prime Minister, should be present at the birth of a King’s son, you may be sure that that rule originated so that later no one might suggest that the heir to the throne was a changeling or an imposter. And the custom or etiquette goes on after most folk have forgotten the “why or wherefore” of it.

In present day American etiquette a constant weeding-out process is taking place. Almost as soon as the need for a certain rule of etiquette passes out, the etiquette becomes old fashioned, too. Practically every regulation of our etiquette can be traced to convenience or consideration. Take, for instance, the matter of table etiquette, the whole idea of our so-called table manners is to make meal time a period of pleasing process. 

If we all ate in private we might have the manners of pigs and give no one offense. But since we usually eat with our friends or families we must be very careful. We must go about it noiselessly and hence we have a certain list of rules for the management of the spoon and fork and knife, and because we would give offense to others if we spilled our food and were untidy about it, we have another set of rules for the management of the napkin, our position at the table and our mode, of masticating. In determining how to eat the various kinds of foods the idea seems to be to find a way by which the process can be made less offensive. 

There is no special etiquette for our way of bathing, though there was for poor little Queen Marie Antoinette, who always bathed with a group of ladies-in-waiting looking on. Because we bathe in private, we can hold the soap as we please and splash as loudly as we want without running the risk of being ill bred. All society asks us is that, we shall be well tubbed and we can suit ourselves as to the method of securing that result.

If we were hermits or Robinson Crusoes we should have few pages to our books of etiquette. So the closer we live, together, the more careful we should be of our manners. And for this reason, the city folks who dwell close together have to think more of etiquette than country folk. Complicated machinery always needs more lubricating oil than machinery of few parts and so folk who live in close contact with one another need the most rules of etiquette. — By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Patriotic Etiquette for WWI Rationing

“Don’t forget that every patriot in the nation has a personal obligation to aid in winning this war by reducing consumption of wheat to a minimum, until the next harvest. Wheat means victory.”

— Photo source Etiquipedia private family library  

Don’ts for the Patriotic Diner

While practically the entire commercial baking and public dining industries of California, including hotels, restaurants and clubs, have pledged strict conformity with the wheat saving rules and regulations of the United States food administration, and have perfected organizations among themselves to force observance by those who might refuse to do so voluntarily, their cooperation, to be 100 percent effective, depends largely on the attitude of the individual patron, Ralph P. Merritt, federal food commissioner for the state, announced today when he issued a list of “Don’ts” for the guidance of patriotic “diners out.” They follow in brief:

• “Don’t ask for food containing wheat flour or wheat products unless you are an invalid and must have it for your health’s sake. 
• “Don’t ask for more than two ounces of wheat bread and wheat products combined at any one meal under any circumstances. The restaurant is fordidden to serve more.
• Aid in observing the restrictions. “Don’t allow the waiter to serve you any foods containing wheat on the wheatless Mondays and Wednesdays, or at the daily evening wheatless meal. 
• “Don’t buy more bread from your baker than you absolutely must have. 
• “Don’t hesitate to report personally observed infractions of the rules to the food administration, or to your local food administrator. They will be investigated. 
• “Don’t forget that every patriot in the nation has a personal obligation to aid in winning this war by reducing consumption of wheat to a minimum, until the next harvest. Wheat means victory.” 
• The advice to the people to eat chicken and game is a good deal like the suggestion of Marie Antoinette that the people of Paris eat cake instead of bread. — San Pedro Pilot News, 1918

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Versailles Bedroom Etiquette

 The Royal State Bed at Versailles

Bedroom Etiquette in the Time of Louis XV

The following illustration is given of etiquette in the time of Louis XV: In the Queen's apartment there were two chambers. One day the Queen saw a speck of dust on her bed and showed it to the Madame de Luynes, her maid of honor. The latter sent for the valet de chambre, bed-maker to the Queen, that he might show it to the valet de chambre, bed-maker to the King. 

The latter arrived at the end of an hour, but said that the dust was none of his business, because the bed-makers of the King made the common bed of the Queen, but were forbidden to touch the State Bed. Consequently the dust must be removed by the Officers of the Household. The Queen gave orders that they should be sent for, and every day for two months she asked if the dust had been brushed off, but they had not yet found out whose duty it was to remove the speck. 

Finally, the Queen took up a feather duster and brushed it off. Great was the scandal thereof, but no one dreamed of blaming the absence of the officers. They only found that the Queen had been wanting in etiquette. –The Daily Alta, 1872

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette helping the blind –“The King and Queen were patrons of the Maison Philanthropique, a society which helped the aged, blind and widows. The Queen taught her daughter Madame Royale to wait upon peasant children, to sacrifice her Christmas gifts so as to buy fuel and blankets for the destitute, and to bring baskets of food to the sick. Marie-Antoinette started a home for unwed mothers at the Royal Palace. She adopted three poor children to be raised with her own, as well overseeing the upbringing of several needy children, whose education she paid for, while caring for their families. She brought several peasant families to live on her farm at Trianon, building cottages for them. There was food for the hungry distributed every day at Versailles, at the King’s command.” 
–From MarieAntoinette.org

“Marie Antoinette is one of the most written-about women in history—and for the best writing reasons. Her story combines two unfailing narrative ingredients: a fairy tale flashing with all the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers, a horror story of human cruelty and blood. The combination is so compelling that the life of the lovely Austrian Princess who lived an infuriatingly frivolous life and died an endearingly brave death can be told and retold with remarkably little attention to the social upheaval that doomed her.” —From “Beautiful and Doomed,” Andre Castelot

All the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers – Depiction of Marie Antoinette in bed, from the 2006 film Marie Antoinette

“Her first desire was to purify the Court where licentiousness in either sex had long been the surest road to Royal favor. She began by making a regulation, that she would receive no lady who was separated from her husband; and she abolished a senseless and inexplicable rule of etiquette which had hitherto prohibited the Queen and Princesses from dining or supping in company with their husbands. Such an exclusion from the King’s table of those who were its most natural and becoming ornaments, had notoriously facilitated and augmented the disorders of the last reign; and it was obvious that its maintenance must at least have a tendency to lead to a repetition of the old irregularities. Fortunately, the King was as little inclined to approve of it as the Queen. All his tastes were domestic, and he gladly assented to her proposal to abolish the custom. 

“Throughout the reign, at all ordinary meals, at his suppers when he came in late from hunting, when he had perhaps invited some of his fellow-sportsmen to share his repast, and at State banquets, Marie Antoinette took her seat at his side, not only adding grace and liveliness to the entertainment, but effectually preventing license, and even the suspicion of scandal; and, as she desired that her household as well as her family should set an example of regularity and propriety to the nation, she exercised a careful superintendence over the behavior of those who had hitherto been among the least-considered members of the Royal establishment.” —From MarieAntoinnette.org 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia