Thoughts on Introduction Etiquette

An introduction is more than good manners — it's an invitation to belong.

When did it become acceptable to stop introducing people? 

Have you ever been with someone who greeted everyone they knew, but never introduced you to any of them? Sadly, we have all been there.

A thoughtful introduction can turn an awkward moment into a welcoming one. It tells someone they belong, not that they're standing on the outside looking in. It shows respect for others when we make introductions.
No matter where you are in the world, respect often begins with a simple greeting. “Hello.” “Hola.” “Bonjour.” “Jambo”… Different words. Same message: "I see you."
Modern etiquette isn't always about table settings or dress codes. Sometimes it's simply saying “hello,” making the introduction, and making sure no one feels invisible.
An introduction isn't just good manners— it's an invitation to belong.

A Review of Introduction Etiquette 

• Always introduce men to a women.
• When introducing two men or two women, always introduce the younger to the older.
• Say “I would like to present… ” Or “I’d like you to meet...”
• Use proper titles whenever you know them, such as Miss, Mr., Mrs. or professional designations such as Doctor, Judge, or Captain.
• Shake hands with a man. With a woman, shake hands only if she first offers her hand first.
• Always stand up to be introduced, or to make introductions.
• Look directly at the person you are being introduced to. Be polite and friendly with your eye contact.
• Say “How do you do…” after being introduced.
• Speak names clearly. Repeat them if asked.
• If you are being introduced and didn’t understand the another person’s name, ask the person making the introduction to repeat the name.

Meet our newest contributor, Eileen Copeland. Eileen is the founder of Southern California Etiquette™, a modern etiquette and social refinement platform which explores dining culture, hosting, presentation, and contemporary social behavior. A native Southern Californian, Eileen’s background includes executive and personal assisting, real estate, wellness, modeling, beauty, and luxury client services. Married for over 15 years, Eileen is a mother of two and grandmother of two, whose broad experiences, including living internationally for nearly a decade, helped shape her appreciation for culture, hospitality, and refined living. She shares life with her husband, her mini Goldendoodle, Teddy, and Luna, her sphynx cat, while continuing her etiquette studies under mentor Maura Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930’s Etiquette and the Sexes

Q. When a man is being introduced to a girl, is it proper for him to offer his hand? 
A. No; he should wait for the girl to offer her hand, if she cares to do so. That is her privilege.

Q. When a man and a girl meet often, but have never been introduced, is it all right for the girl to speak ?
A. Yes, if she is much interested and is courageous enough to run the risk of an undesirable acquaintance.

Q. When a man is being introduced to a girl, is it proper for him to offer his hand?
A. No; he should wait for the girl to offer her hand, if she cares to do so. That is her privilege.

Q. What should a girl do when a young man calls in the evening and doesn't seem to knew when to go?
A. Allowing long lapses in the conversation is sometimes an effective method. If this doesn't work, it seems that a suppressed yawn or two would be justified.  

Q. What does it indicate when a man. in conversation, is constantly talking: about himself, his adventures and experiences ? A. It is a sure indication of ill-breeding, and such a man can never become popular.

Q. Is it ever proper for the parents of a girl’s fiance to announce the engagement.
A. No; this is the privilege of the girls parents only.

Q. Is it sufficient for a bride and bridegroom to thank their friends verbally for wedding gifts.
A. No; a personal letter of thanks should be written by the bride for each gift.

Q. Is it necessary to write the prefix “Mr.” when “Jr.” is used after a man’s name?
A. Yes, both Mr. and Jr. must be used. – Roberta Lee’s “Modern Etiquette,” 1930’s

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Social Graces from Mrs. Adams

When making introductions one should remember that a man is always presented to a woman, a younger person to an older one and an unmarried woman to a matron. When introducing friends a good form to use is. “Miss Brown, let me present Mr. Jones.” If introducing a relative one should say, “Miss Black, may I present my cousin. Mr. White?”

Introducing Friend or Relative

Dear Mrs. Adams: 1. What is the proper way to introduce a friend or relative? 

2. In congratulating a bride or bride- groom-to-be, what must one say? 

3. What is an appropriate gift for a groom to present to his bride-to-be? 

4. On being invited to dine, how long before dinner should one arrange to arrive? When leaving, must one bid only the hostess or all the guests good-bye? –A Green One

1. When making introductions one should remember that a man is always presented to a woman, a younger person to an older one and an unmarried woman to a matron. When introducing friends a good form to use is. “Miss Brown, let me present Mr. Jones.” If introducing a relative one should say, “Miss Black, may I present my cousin. Mr. White?”

2. To the bride-to-be, one may say, “Let me offer hearty good wishes for your future happiness.” To the groom-to-be, one may say, “Accept my sincerest congratulations.” 

3. A piece of jewelry is the most appropriate gift. 

4. A dinner guest is to arrive at the hostess' home at the hour named in her invitation. When leaving, the guest politely thanks the hostess for the hospitality enjoyed. If there are few friends at the dinner, the person leaving may bid them all good evening; but if there are many guests present, she should bid a formal farewell to those friends nearest her.

Mother Insists

Dear Mrs. Adams: I am a girl of 15, and my mother insists that I shall go with a man of 26. I do not care for him. She compelled me to accept a gold watch from him as a Christmas present. What would you advise me to do in such a case? –Anxious 

While your mother may prove to be your best friend, I cannot help suggesting, in this case that you accept the young man's attentions, but treat him with indifference. He will soon understand that his company is not desired, and will not force his attentions on you. — San Francisco Call, 1910

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia