Spotlight on Maura J. Graber

  

 

Meet Etiquette Enthusiast, Teacher, Author, Historian and Etiquipedia© Site Editor and Founder, Maura J. Graber of 

The RSVP Institute of Etiquette

The Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia was an idea that took shape in late-2011 after an Etiquette Instructor Trainee was lamenting the fact that there wasn’t a free, online resource, where factual etiquette information could be found, along with the reasons behind the etiquette rules. Maura J. Graber decided then to start such a site. Beginning in 2012, Maura’s first posts were rather long, but there were only seven of them, as she was still focused on a personal etiquette blog, “The Etiquette Sleuth.” By 2013, she had tripled the number of posts. By 2016, she was posting hundreds of articles a year. Since 2020 she has posted many more articles and her goal is to post one new article every day, There are now close to 4,000 articles on the site.

Though Graber offers classes to all ages, working with teens and young adults is especially rewarding for her. She says that they are the most vulnerable to depression, peer pressure, and social media. She also loves to speak on proper table setting and antiques for the table. She is a popular speaker for universities, museums and historical groups. She also worked as a consultant for Seasons 1 & 2 of the Julian Fellowes’ show, “The Gilded Age” on HBO-Max

Below are links to just a few of Maura Graber’s articles on etiquette which you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Etiquette and Gracious Socializing 
• Pepper Spray Etiquette
• Savvy Hostess’ Entertaining Tips
• Etiquette, Regrets and the RSVP
• Q & A on Passing Food at the Table
• The Polite Thanksgiving Guest – 12 Tips
• Hosting Thanksgiving – 12 Top Tips
• Ten Tips on the Art of Small Talk

The following is a Q. & A. with Maura:

Along with teaching etiquette, Maura was the Table Top Spokesperson for a chain of 9 high-end department stores in Southern California in the mid to late 1990’s, traveling from store to store doing talks. By the time the chain merged with another chain of stores in 1999, expanding to 5 states, Maura decided her children were too young for her to be traveling as much as she would need to, so she continued her busy schedule of after-school etiquette classes throughout several counties and took on a role not only on-air, but producing news segments and reviews for a local PBS station. Her segments highlighted  philanthropic organizations and “feel-good stories.”

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

After working a few different jobs in high school and college, including as a part-time, Princess House Crystal consultant selling dining and entertaining wares, working in retail sales and also as a telephone operator, I took a position as a restaurant manager in Newport Beach, and got used to watching how people behaved and ate in such a public setting. It was eye-opening. I felt most comfortable selling women’s clothing and accessories though. I was quite good at dressing women, and soon opened my own boutique in 1984. By 1990, with a growing family, I was looking for an old-fashioned charm school but couldn’t find one anywhere, I decided to branch out again and opened my own etiquette school. I quickly became so busy teaching etiquette, I left the fashion business behind me within a few years.

Fun foods and odd utensils are always on the menu at Maura’s etiquette classes for kids.

What do you enjoy most about teaching etiquette?
I found out rather quickly that teaching others etiquette and good manners is very rewarding in a way that most other jobs and businesses are not. Knowing you have given someone social self-confidence and the right tools to navigate their ways throughout all of the societal pitfalls they will likely encounter, especially as teens and young adults, is extremely rewarding. I have also amassed a large collection of antique dining utensils and have written several etiquette history books, featuring the unusual utensils and their uses.

Maura’s latest book is available on Amazon.– In “Yesteryear… More of What Have We Here?” the etiquette authority, social historian, and collector of unusual dining implements, treats readers to a trip back in time through various unusual objects for dining and living, along with the etiquette and social tools that once made up an everyday life in Western society and many that still apply today. Curiosities spanning from prior to the Georgian era, Regency era, Victorian eras, the Gilded Age, throughout the Edwardian era, up until the Mid-20th Century, which describe in a fond clarity, not only how we once socialized, dined and lived, but how to entertain today using antiques and making simple but unique choices.  

Screenshot of Maura on PBS demonstrating and talking about special dining utensils for those with physical challenges, circa 2006.

What type of classes do you offer?

I offer very personalized, one-on-one classes, along with group classes for children and adults. My afternoon tea etiquette sessions are very popular, for all ages. I also offer classes via Zoom for clients who are overseas, though some people will also fly to Southern California to work with me.

What age group do you enjoy working with most? 
Teens to young adults are my favorite group to teach etiquette, though every student, aged 5 though to 85, is unique and special. 

Which are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading? 
I love reading old books by Lillian Eichler, Letitia Baldridge, Amy Vanderbilt, Elizabeth Post and Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, and of course, old newspaper and magazine articles on etiquette.

If you’d like to reach Maura, you can call her at 909-923-5650 or (inside the United States, 800-891-RSVP), you can visit her RSVP Institute of Etiquette website or email Maura at rsvpinstitute @gmail.com or etiquipedia @gmail.com

Talking etiquette at an evening program for the Ontario Museum of History and Art in 2017

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

New Webinar Date and Slots Available!

Our January Webinar filled up quickly! We have added a second date — March 14th, 8:30 a.m. PDT

Calling all Etiquette Enthusiasts! Celebrate a Century of Etiquette and Manners as portrayed by Hollywood in Period Dramas and Films 

🎥 🍿 🎬 🍿 🎥 🍿 🎬 🍿 🎥 🎬  

 We will be covering manners as they are portrayed in the film and television adaptations of famous works and novels

What’s wrong with this photo? You may have seen Henry VIII portrayed as a bone-slinging slob, but in real life, he was anything but! “So, far from rudely gobbling haunches, the king observed complex etiquette. True, there was at least one occasion when Henry threw sugar-plums at his guests, and, given the gallons of sweetened wine consumed, meals must sometimes have got out of hand. Yet the general rules of table were politer than our own. If Henry overindulged (and surely he did, his waist thickening to 54in after a jousting accident in 1536), he did so with aplomb. Hands were washed before, during and after every meal. He had a special finger-bowl – heated in a chafing dish – and a designated napkin to protect his fine ‘manchet’ bread roll. When he had eaten enough, he stood and washed his hands while an usher brushed crumbs from his royal person.” From 2009, Telegraph News

• Discover the authentic and inauthentic manners and etiquette in the film and television adaptations of famous works and novels.
• Discover the clever ways that etiquette is shown in Hollywood.
• How good manners are portrayed, and learn the subtle tools used to exhibit status or wealth.
• How etiquette and mannerisms have been used to create indelible roles and memorable characters. 

If you joined us in 2023 for our previous free seminar on dining etiquette in Hollywood, and found it entertainingly educational, you will find the deeper dive into the subject even more so! 

For over a century, motion pictures have enthralled, entertained and educated audiences around the world. Famous lines from hit movies, can immediately transport one back to the theater, to when they first heard the immortal words. “I’m the king of the world!” “There’s no place like home.” “I’ll be back.”… “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.“ “Here’s looking at you, kid.” “Houston, we have a problem.” "I have a head for business and a bod for sin."

All have resonated with movie audiences and pop culture for decades after the movies first arrived in theaters. Manners and mannerisms too, along with “etiquette lessons” seen in films, have affected pop-culture and moviegoers. I know this, due to the fact that so many of my etiquette class students over the last 35 years, young and old, have mentioned scenes from movies that left lasting impressions on them. 

The movies are numerous. In this webinar, we will be covering many of them. Which motion pictures got the manners just right? Which motion pictures got the manners wrong? Which motion pictures should have steered clear of teaching manners to the theater going public? Which movies equated good manners with snobbery? Which movies made etiquette appear necessary for a civil society to thrive? 

We will cover the films that have tickled us with their style in slyly teaching proper manners and mannerisms. We will cover the films which really got things muddled and were anything but helpful in teaching the theater going public that learning manners can be fun. 

From delightful to dreadful, and back to delightful again, we are going to discuss these motion pictures, which have most stuck with us while entertaining us at the same time. Sit back, grab your popcorn and enjoy our visit to the movies. No 3-D glasses will be required! 

We hope you’ll join us!

Maura J. Graber and Elizabeth Soós

Course Overview:

Join us for a unique opportunity to enhance your etiquette knowledge and have your questions answered.  Author, teacher and etiquette historian, Maura J. Graber will be joining Elizabeth Soós of Auersmont Etiquette for an online seminar in which they plan to enlighten, educate and entertain with the true reasons our dining etiquette rules exist, the history of the rules and the backstories behind them. 

Course Contents: 

This 2-hour course is designed for individuals of all backgrounds and professions, especially those in the field of etiquette! Attendees to this online seminar will discover how increasing one’s knowledge of etiquette can assist in making one more prosperous in business and social endeavours. We live in a world of many “Whys.” Why not join in the discussion?

Course Curriculum:

Take 1: Introduction

Take 2: A Century of Table Manners on Display in Hollywood

Take 3: Hidden Etiquette Lessons in Hollywood

Take 4: Confusing Utensils and Place Settings on Film

Take 5: Unusual Foods and Fine Tables Starring in Films

Take 6: Q & A

Questions Which Need Answers:

Please submit any questions you have about the etiquette shown in movies and in series, as the course will be tailored to address them. All questions must be submitted by March 1, 2026, via this link: Google Forms: https://forms.gle/Lfnpjw73vhd3qESy7

Here are some questions that will be answered:

• Why are the gloves not removed fully at the table on Michelle Pfeiffer‘s character in the film Age of Innocence?
• Why do so many women wear gloves in period dramas when they are drinking or eating?
• Do writers of period dramas or films ever just make up their own Etiquette? 
• How much etiquette do they actually stick to which is in etiquette books?
• What is one film that you can think of which shows incorrect etiquette throughout?
• What is one film or show you can recommend which gets all of the etiquette correct?

Certificates:

Certificate of completion - Digital certificate included.

Accessing Course Recordings for Review

Do you have a scheduling conflict? You can always watch it at your leisure another time. A link will be sent to you a few days after the seminar.

As a beginner, is this event suitable for me?

Beginners are welcome, and we hope that you enjoy the event. 

Event pricing.

Pricing will be set as AUD - Australian dollar.

Where are my course emails? And will I be notified about the course before it starts?

Please check your spam, or other folders that your email account might have forwarded to.  We send a series of emails via Humanitix every week leading up to the event.

Please note:

Gif's, video and photos credits: 20th Century Studios, Paramount Pictures, Paramount Home Entertainment, Walt Disney Pictures, Buena Vista Pictures, 21st Century Fox, CBS Media, Viacom, CBS Studios, Columbia Pictures, ITV, Focus Features, Universal Pictures, Sony Pictures, Canva

Your Hosts:

Maura J. Graber - The RSVP Institute of Etiquette & Founder of Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopaedia

Elizabeth Soós - Founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette and Protocol in Australia

                     

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia