Professional Etiquette for Royalty

Dr. Gupta has risen from his humble beginnings to become a celebrated and decorated plastic surgeon. He selflessly volunteers his time and resources to help the underprivileged, including survivors of wars, terrorist attacks, major accidents, to those with birth defects, as well as Bollywood stars and Hindi TV serial personalities.

 An Interview with Dr. Ashok Gupta

Through a dear friend, I was introduced to an extraordinary figure in Indian society, Dr. Ashok Gupta. From his humble beginnings in a village in inner India, Dr. Gupta has risen to become a celebrated and decorated plastic surgeon. He selflessly volunteers his time and resources to help the underprivileged, including survivors of wars, terrorist attacks, major accidents, to those with birth defects, as well as Bollywood stars and Hindi TV serial personalities. His contributions have been recognised by numerous governments, Gulf royalty, and international film festivals. 

Dr. Ashok Gupta began his career at Government Medical College in Nagpur, moved on to Grant Medical College in Mumbai, and then advanced his training in the United Kingdom at The Royal College of Surgeons, in Scotland. I wanted to interview this prestigious plastic surgeon to gain insights from his 50 years of service, learn about his views on business etiquette and protocols, and gather tips he could offer to aspiring professionals.

Guests meeting Gulf royalty should ensure their hair is well-groomed and trimmed, their nails are clean and neat, and their overall appearance is tidy.

Governmental and Royal Protocol

Before becoming the recipient of “Sheikh Hamdan International Award” in 2010, or meeting Gulf royalty in completely different circumstances, the royal protocol officer was asked to provide invaluable information in how one should conduct oneself. According to Dr. Gupta, when meeting Gulf royalty, one should “reflect respect for their culture, traditions, and customs.” One should also show appreciation for an “occasion's significance and highlight one's understanding of royal etiquette.” I would have to agree. Understanding and adhering to royal protocols not only demonstrates respect but also highlights one’s maturity and cultural sensitivity. Here are some points of protocol training that Dr Gupta learned and passed on to me in our talk:

Clothing and Grooming
• Avoid wearing black, it is a colour associated with mourning in Gulf culture.
• Dress formally for meetings with royalty and avoid all attire that may be considered casual.
• Wearing clothing with images or text that may be offensive to Islamic beliefs is considered highly disrespectful.Gulf royal protocol emphasizes modesty, elegance, and refinement in clothing choices.
• Arabian culture places great emphasis on cleanliness, personal hygiene and foremost smells. Body odour is looked upon, or smelled upon, unfavourably.
• Guests meeting Gulf royalty should ensure their hair is well-groomed and trimmed, their nails are clean and neat, and their overall appearance is tidy.
• Women should opt for conservative clothing that covers their arms, legs, and shoulders, while avoiding tight-fitting outfits.
• Women must cover their hair and wear an abaya, which is a loose-fitting black cloak over modest clothing.

Cultural Etiquette
• Avoid pointing the soles of your feet at anyone.
• Use excellent posture and use minimal gestures, keeping hands and feet steady.
• Avoiding physical contact unless initiated by the royal family member.
• Refrain from taking pictures without permission.
• Show respect by standing up when they enter the room.
• Avoiding direct eye contact unless invited.
• Never turn your back on any member of the royal family.
• Use your right hand to reciprocate a handshake offered to you.
• Use formal behaviour as opposed to undue familiarity.

Addressing the Royal Family

Depending on which King, Shaikh, Amir, Sultan or Crown Prince you may meet or write to, always seek the direction of the royal protocol office. There you will receive the correct way to address and correspond with the Royal Family. For instance, you may receive information such as the following when verbally addressing a Crown Prince from Saudia Arabia, Jordon or Morocco:

• First instance: ‘Your Royal Highness’
• Thereafter in conversation: ‘Sir’
• In conversation: ‘His Royal Highness’

The takeaway here is undeniable: Dr. Gupta’s adherence to these protocols and his reflections on their importance, serve as a guide for anyone seeking to engage respectfully and appropriately with any royalty. His experience underscores the value of cultural etiquette in building respectful and meaningful connections across different societies, which he still maintains today.

Succeeding in a Business Environment

He recalled an experience during his time at the surgeon's college when a lecturer observed him carefully cleaning a wound, suturing it precisely, and neatly dressing it. The lecturer told him he had an aptitude as a surgeon and encouraged him to continue. Dr. Gupta used this feedback as a building block for how he would provide care to all his patients. This approach is two-fold: first, when performing work, he ensures it is done well and with patience; second, he recognises that the patient has entrusted him with their care, fostering humility and thankfulness for their trust.

The lesson learned here is simple: Whether working for yourself or someone else, approach your work with zeal, passion, and a commitment to excellence. Strive to give over 100% to your clients or customers, as their satisfaction and trust will be your most valuable endorsements—more impactful than any review on Google or Trustpilot.

Here are Dr. Gupta's three key guidelines for succeeding in a business environment:
1. Thoroughly research the establishment and its work culture.
2. Commit to understanding the core principles of the business.
3. Align with the goals of the business at hand, and actively contribute value.

Dressing Professionally

While speaking with Dr. Gupta, I noticed on two occasions that he was dressed professionally. During the interview, he wore doctor's scrubs with his name and practice embroidered in red. Why is this important? Trust and confidence. If you were looking for a plastic surgeon to perform life-altering work, would you trust someone wearing sneakers, a t-shirt, and jeans, or a surgeon in business attire or a medical uniform? I know which one I would choose.

This brings to mind Dr. Gupta’s account of a young surgeon who was to be interviewed by a doctorate board in Mumbai. The young surgeon arrived in casual attire and was not allowed to enter the interview room because his choice of attire was deemed incorrect and unprofessional. He was subsequently told to reapply at a later date.

Dr. Gupta, who practiced in Bahrain for some time, shared an anecdote about one of his patients, an American woman. During their consultation, she remarked on the importance of a woman’s and man’s presentation, specifically mentioning the condition of his shoes. What did she mean? She was emphasising the significance of the little details in a man’s overall presentation. Both men and women notice non-verbal cues such as body language, dress, and grooming. Ensuring small details, like removing dust from shoes and keeping the back of the shoes clean, matters. Should we worry about the back of our shoes and clothing? The answer is, “Yes!”

The takeaway here is clear: The way you present yourself, including professional attire and attention to small details, significantly impacts trust and confidence in your abilities. Whether in an interview or a consultation, demonstrating professionalism through your appearance is crucial for making a positive impression.

Here are Dr. Gupta's three important pointers in dressing professionally:

1. Think about where you are going and who you are planning to meet.
2. Dress accordingly, taking time before to evaluate the clothing.
3. Add a touch of individuality and panache to level-up your entire outfit.

Cross-Cultural Communication

Whilst speaking with and interviewing Dr. Gupta, I noticed several things about his demeanour. His delivery is caring, methodical, and purposeful. He is always ready to explain the answers to any questions you may have, without making you feel ignorant for asking, which inspired ease and made me feel instantly relaxed in his presence. And he smiled!

However, this was not always the case. Let me explain. Fresh out of India and practicing in the United Kingdom under the guidance of his college, Dr. Gupta encountered a 15-16-year-old female patient seeking plastic surgery on her nose. One of the standard questions is, "What medication are you currently taking?" To his shock, she mentioned she was taking contraceptive pills. The observing lecturer took him aside and stated kindly yet firmly that he needed to understand the cultural system of the country. This became the foundation for his doctor-patient behaviour, emphasizing the importance of building effective communication strategies and learning about cultural etiquette.

This lesson is very important: Effective communication and cultural awareness are essential for building trust and confidence in any doctor-patient relationship. Dr. Gupta’s experience highlights the importance of understanding cultural contexts and honing interpersonal skills to provide compassionate and competent care.

Here are Dr. Gupta's four important pointers in cultural communication:

1. Speak clearly and slowly, breaking down your sentences for better understanding. 
2. Actively listen by summarizing anything questionable and ask questions to confirm your comprehension. 
3. Take turns speaking in short exchanges to allow for processing and response.
4. Smiling is widely recognised across cultures, when the smiles are genuine.

Giving Back to the Community

After researching Dr. Ashok Gupta's website (https://drashokgupta.in/), I was impressed by his pro bono surgeries for war victims, Mumbai shooting survivors, acid attack victims, accident victims in remote areas, and more. During the interview, I asked him why he dedicated time to these cases when he could focus on building a thriving practice. Dr. Gupta simply explained his motivation: "It's about giving back, generating goodwill, and expressing gratitude for the opportunity to use my skills."

Here are some powerful examples of his impact:

A child found in the Varanasi jungle with a severe animal bite, received surgeries from Dr. Gupta at ages 5, 10, 15, showcasing the long-term care provided.

A truck accident victim, who required 40 hours of surgery, received his care with Dr. Gupta leading a team of 7 doctors. Dr. Gupta described losing track of time due to his intense focus, but the surgery's success allowed the man to marry and start a family. These stories exemplify the profound impact Dr. Gupta's work has on people's lives. What can we learn from this?

Natures law on equal returns: Dr. Gupta's story highlights the power of pro bono work that professionals can leverage their skills to significantly improve lives and communities. Giving back generates personal fulfillment and strengthens the social fabric, as seen by Dr. Gupta's dedication and the positive outcomes for his patients.

I hope that you enjoyed reading this, as much I enjoyed interviewing Dr Ashok Gupta. It was a privilege to meet such a talented individual who is not only passionate about his field but also dedicated to sharing his knowledge with aspiring professionals and recent graduates. His vast experience is truly remarkable!

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

www.auersmont.com | +61 466 344 331 | auersmont@gmail.com

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Interviewing Etiquette

“Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a' chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers one or says it’s okay.”

Dollars and Sense Depend on P’s & Q’s

It seems a little crude to come right out and say that etiquette “pays off.” Of course it does; but it's pleasanter to think of it paying off in things like good will and social harmony than in grubby old money. Nonetheless there is one occasion when etiquette's commercial value cannot be denied. We refer to job interviews. 

GROUND RULES

Knowing the ground rules not only quiets palpitations and dries sweaty palms. It often lands the job. The rules include: 

1. Dress well but not wildly well. Employers tend to be serious about their businesses. Flashiness on your part, loud socks or tie, a raffish boutonniere suggests you're not. 

2. Do a grooming countdown before the interview. Shoes shined? Chin smooth? Hair combed? Short of drenching yourself with cologne or plastering your hair with stickum, it’s hard to be too groomed. 

3. Before calling on a prospect make an appointment by phone or letter. Never “drop in” 

4. Be on time. If early, ask the receptionist not to announce you until the exact moment. If unavoidably late, call to explain and if necessary remake the appointment. 

5. Don’t “practice” for the interview by chatting with the receptionist. Sit quietly, read, twiddle your thumbs, but don’t leave the room and don’t have the receptionist call to “remind” the interviewer if he keeps you waiting. 

6. Stand up when anybody approaches to talk. 

7. Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral, “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers a cigarette or says it’s okay. 

8. When he asks about your present or former job, don't go into a tirade about your “skinflint” employer or the miserable hours. Don't volunteer the dreary details of your personal life. Emotion (except possibly enthusiasm) has no place in a job interview. 

9. Let him bring up salary. It’s “future” and “opportunity” you're interested in, not paltry dollars. Not precisely the truth? Nonetheless, it’s the impression you want to give. 

10. Don't interview the interviewer. This is not the time to inquire about coffee breaks, desk space, vacations. Wait until you get the job first. Then ask some lesser deity. 

11. The interview ends when the interviewer ends it. He may look blank; he may thank you for coming in. At any rate, don’t press for an immediate yes or no and don’t ask if you should call tomorrow. Your bargaining power was slight to begin with; overeagerness reduces it to nil. – Don Goodwin, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Summer Attire Etiquette

On Summer Dressing: 

Don’t do that. Do this instead...

This article is part of Polished Professioals, “Don’t do that. Do this instead” series.

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…” 

Early 20th C. Beach Attire

The rest of this lyric is “Fish are jumpin’, and the cotton is high”**.  And no where is cotton (rayon, spandex, denim…you name it) higher than in summertime.

Before I begin, I would like to make a few things clear:

This is NOT a post about: how you dress for a picnic or a night out.
This IS a post about: our work lives and the perception of professionalism.

Strip down to the ‘bare’ essentials: 

DON’T DO THAT

When the temperatures and humidity start to soar the temptation to rid ourselves of all (or almost all) our clothes is understandable. The mere idea of being constrained in long sleeves, closed shoes or trousers is enough to make us hot and bothered.  However tempting it is to don your shorts and flip-flops and head to the office, don’t.

DO THIS INSTEAD: Find a balance

I know it can be tricky to find a balance between keeping cool and looking professional but trust me, it’s worth it.

Comfort vs. Credibility

I notice, every year, that many people use the excuse of summer, and hot weather, not just to wear fewer and/or cooler clothes but to abandon dress-sense entirely.   I know it’s hot, and I know that much of our more professional clothing can be restrictive. However, are you prepared to gain comfort at the risk of losing credibility?

The impact that our clothing has, both on those around us and ourselves, is something I find fascinating. What I find even more fascinating is that some people think it’s inconsequential; either that it doesn’t really matter or that they should just be allowed to ‘be who they are/wear what they want’, no matter what. It’s a fair point in some ways, we should be allowed to be who we are, but there’s a but. There’s always a but. In this case the but is that what we wear matters, and does have an impact on how others see us.

How we dress affects not just how others see us but how we view ourselves. When we dress down we not only project a lack of professionalism outwardly but we also suffer from it internally.

Even your subconscious notices the difference between your shorts/flip-flops combo and your best suit: have you ever noticed that you stand up a little straighter, behave a little better, and try harder not to spill on yourself when you’re wearing your ‘good’ clothes?  …and if your subconscious is paying attention then you better believe the person (boss, colleague, client) standing in front of you is.

Given that it always pays to look professional – even in hot, summer months – think about using some of these tips:

• Choose lighter weight, breathable fabrics such as linen or cotton
• Have a few pieces with a slightly looser fit; this helps in humid weather particularly
• Opt to keep your jacket and tie off until you need to wear them
• Pair a sleeveless dress or top with a light jacket or cardigan
• Keep your ‘work’ shoes at the office and change when you get there (this goes for both men and women)

Trust me when I say it’s worth making the effort. Sure, you might have to suffer a little along the way but the payoff – being the person who gets noticed for staying polished and professional at all times – will be worth it.

If you’d like to read more about the psychology behind dressing and appearance, take a look these articles:

• ‘What your clothes might be saying about you’ from Psychology Today
• ‘When clothing style influences cognitive style’ from The Association for Psychological Science

Hilary Robinson is the Senior Trainer and Owner of Polished Professionals in Toronto, Canada. With her background, spent running events for Prime Ministers, CEOs and academics (in the UK and Canada), one might think that she’s all about following the rules. However, she prefers to train people to understand their parameters, what it means to follow them, what advantages there are in knowing how and when to bend them, and the value in using good manners to put others at ease. With 20 years working worldwide in events and communications, Hilary believes manners and courtesy are not only powerful communication tools but the foundations on which self-confidence and success grow.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia