Manners for Sports’ Spectators

“As you grow older, you may go to the horse races, and if you are as lucky as most people at a race track, your horse will lose. Don't boo a horse if he does. He has feelings, too.” — Marjabelle Young Stewart

As you grow older you will become more and more a spectator at sporting events. At some, such as football, base ball, horse racing, hockey, and track meets, you can shout to your heart's content. But at others, like golf and tennis, you must remain quiet until the player has made his shot, or-in the case of tennis-until the player has made his point.

Razzing players on a football or baseball field may be good fun, but it isn't good sportsmanship. You have to assume that the people on the field are doing their best, and nobody likes to be razzed or booed. Before doing either one, try to put yourself in the player's place; see how you would feel if the fans were booing you.

As you grow older, you may go to the horse races, and if you are as lucky as most people at a race track, your horse will lose. Don't boo a horse if he does. He has feelings, too.

Source ~ Marjabelle Young Stewart’s and Ann Buchwald's 1969, “Stand up, Shake hands, Say ‘How Do You Do’” ~ What boys need to know about today's manners.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Locker-Room Manners

Control your temper: Don't throw your helmet, towel, or a ball to the ground; don't shake your fist or holler in anger at anyone. No one respects a person who can't keep his temper under ice.
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To update these excellent manners from 1969, Etiquipedia would like to add to this list that unless one is from a reputable news service or magazine, under no circumstances is it allowable to take photos of others in a locker-room without their permission. If the person being photographed is a minor, the parent’s or guardian’s permission is first needed, as well.

Some fellows who can control themselves on the field in front of an audience lose their cool in the locker room. This is dangerous because you are judged by your team mates and your coaches in the locker room, and if you get out of control there, they can't trust you on the field.

Don't use foul language in the locker room. It's out of character for good athletes, and it embarrasses other people.

Control your temper: Don't throw your helmet, towel, or a ball to the ground; don't shake your fist or holler in anger at anyone. No one respects a person who can't keep his temper under ice.

Don't spit in locker rooms or showers.

Don't leave hot showers running, don't throw tissue on the floor, and always, always flush the toilet after using it.

Don't start water fights in the locker room. Someone could slip and become severely injured.

Towel snapping is permissible, providing you're willing to let someone snap a towel back at you. 

Source ~ Marjabelle Young Stewart’s and Ann Buchwald's 1969, 

Stand up, Shake hands, Say “How Do You Do” ~ What boys need to know about today's manners.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930's Girl Scout Etiquette

Circa 1936 – Girl Scouts sell their famous cookies.

Girl Scout Rules

Girl Scouts of the United States are taught to observe the rules of the road and the etiquette of highways. One of the first regulations is not to be a “trail hog” and leave tin cans, fruit peelings, empty cracker boxes and paper along the pathway. The definition of a “trail hog” is one who does not stop to think how the thoroughfare and adjacent territory will look to the next traveler. – Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1930

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

20th C. Bridal Shower Etiquette

A creative 1950's idea for a handmade bridal shower invitation.

“A Paper Shower”

(Good Housekeeping magazine article account of a 1907 bridal shower)

We had all said in our hearts there could be nothing new under the sun in the way of bridal showers, hence our astonishment when the morning's mail brought an innocent looking, square envelope containing a folded lace paper doily, on the small, solid center of which was inscribed a formal invitation from Mrs. B., In honor of Miss S.- our bride-elect chum-to a "paper shower." After a round of handmade lingerie, embroidered linen, silk hose, glove and lace handkerchief showers, a paper one came as a blessed relief. 

Mrs. B's home showed no overelaboration of the paper idea; in fact its first suggestion was in "The Bride's Book" composed of sheets of the young woman's monogram paper, bound in white moire wall paper, tied with a white satin ribbon and charmingly decorated with an outline sketch of the bride (cut from a magazine,) tinted with water colors. His side this volume was a curiosity awakening object; a glass slipper, such as extracts are sold in, tightly stoppered and filled with tiny pink and white candy hearts. Each guest was invited to inscribe her name in the book and record opposite, her guest at the number of hearts in the good-luck shoe. 

After this pretty ceremony, the guests were ushered into the living room, where to huge hearts of crimson wall paper were lightly laced together to form a bag and this suspended in a bow-window; at a signal, two red ribbons, attached to the points of the bag, were violently jerked, tearing loose the lacings and showering the bride with a fluffy downpour of gifts. The heavier articles were handed to her. 

I had not imagined paper capable of so many interpretations: there were sets of flower-like candle-shades; a set of individual bonbon holders, made of pill-boxes and cunningly disguised beneath rose crêpe petals; a unique lampshade, of paraffin paper in octagonal sections, each panel decorated with cut-out pictures from Good Housekeeping's "Bride's Primer" and carrying the suggestion that this be used at the bride's first dinner party; two sets of dainty dinner cards and a recipe book. There was a lovely bureau set of boxes, with jewelry case, hairpin box, brush and comb box, all covered with handsome paper in a tiny floral design; there were quite a number of attractive books, some sheet music, boxes of stationary, fans, a waste paper basket and pictures to suit upstairs, downstairs and my lady's chamber. 

In the dining room the table showed exquisite decorations of pink and white gauze. Tied in true lovers' style on the chandelier the filmy streamers were carried down to the tables four corners and beneath this rosy canopy stood a doll bride, with satin gown, flowing veil, orange blossoms and satin slippers. The four little friends who served the refreshments were dressed as flower girls, attendants upon the lady of the decorations and handed salad and dainties. 

A photograph of the bride was presented to the correct guesser of the hearts in the shoe, and the "Bride's Book" was given to the bride herself.  

Helpful ideas for a 1950s “Lingerie Shower”

1950s Etiquette tips from “What You Should Know About Showers,” by Ruth Brent

Q. Is it permissible for a member of the bride's family to give a shower?

A. No. The immediate family of the bride or groom does not give a shower. One exception-if all the guests are relatives.

Q. Are the bride's attendants expected to give a shower?

A. Often the maid or matron of honor entertains, but not necessarily at a shower. It could be a Tea, Coffee, Luncheon, or Supper in her honor.

Q. Are the mothers of the bride and groom included in every shower? Should the bride's attendants be invited every time?

A. It's true that the mothers and the attendants are included in a great many showers and other affairs. This, however, many times works a hardship on them financially. No one should be expected to attend more than two, or at the most three, showers for any one person.

Q. We are planning a shower for one of our co-workers. Should we include the mothers and bridal attendants?

A. If you've planned a party for the office force, don't include others. After all, you all know one another well and will be more relaxed by yourselves. Having members of a specific group or club is a very good idea in that it probably includes girls who might otherwise be left out. One word of caution here: Try to avoid asking just casual acquaintances of the bride.

Q. Would it be proper to suggest a price range when extending invitations? 

A. Yes, that is most sensible. The hostess should discourage expensive gifts. Suggest a price range-say two to four dollars- so that all gifts will be approximately the same value.

                         

“Although the concept of manners and excepted behavior changes constantly, the basis for all etiquette never changes. It is, after all, a code of behavior, a way of life based on kindness, consideration and self-respect. Etiquette rules, and the books defining them,are merely guidelines to help one live according to that code.”–  Elizabeth Post 

                               

Elizabeth Post on Bridal Shower Etiquette in 1963

Although their looks and manners tend to change with the years, the parties for the bride and her attendants are always sparkling, sentimental occasions. The bridal shower, so practical and popular in some communities, is needless for the bride with "the best of everything." But the charming custom lingers on, often in luncheons for the bride or joint showers for the bride and groom.

The Bridal Shower

The setting for a bridal shower is "as you like it"- a luncheon, dinner, afternoon tea, evening snack, or morning coffee; the time: about a month before the wedding. It is usually given by an intimate friend or member of the bridal party; never by the immediate family of the bride. Since everyone who attends must bring a gift, it is considerate for the prospective shower-givers to get together and arrange a single shower when the same friends will be invited.

Showers are always gay and fanciful and even more so when the refreshments are ample and attractively served.

Shower gifts are usually small and inexpensive and of less importance than wedding gifts. Invitations are either telephoned or written by hand on "informals," but printed stationers' cards are equally proper. Although wedding presents are sent from the shop where they are purchased, shower gifts are always brought my hand and presented personally upon arrival. Frequently, however, the packages are taken at the door by the hostess and placed with the others on the reception table in another room. Gift cards should be enclosed to avoid the self-conscious "That's from me" as each present is unwrapped. When everyone expected has arrived, the bride may then open her packages, one by one, and thank each friend individually.
                                    

Umbrellas are always popular bridal shower decor

Showers are always gay and fanciful and even more so when the refreshments are ample and attractively served. Coffee and cake, punch and sandwiches, cider and doughnuts are all-time favorites.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Vintage Etiquette for 'Tween or Teen Boys

From Another Vintage Book on the Etiquipedia© Library Shelves 

"Some Kind Thoughts" from Stand Up, Shake Hands, Say"How do you do?" Vintage etiquette advice for teen boys.

Some Kind Thoughts

When you are around handicapped people, the hardest but most important thing is to treat them like everyone else. Don't change the way you normally talk or act. In other words; be yourself as much as you can. Also, keep these facts in mind:

Blind people are not deaf, so you don't have to talk louder. When you're talking to a blind person, use his name as often as possible, because that is his only way of knowing you're addressing him.  When you first meet a blind person, even if he knows you well, identify yourself: Say, "Hi, I'm Jim Jones." or "Hello, Mrs. Smith — Margy Brown." And always tell a blind person what you are offering him: "Here's your sandwich, Bill." or "This is the iced tea you wanted, Mrs. Johnson."

Deaf people prefer to read lips or to follow their own methods of hearing you; so don't raise your voice around them. Always keep your head turned toward a deaf person when you are speaking, although you don't have to keep your eyes focused on him. Never point out to a newcomer that someone is deaf — it doesn't help anyone or anything.

“You're off to a pal's for a while. You're going to buy some bicycle tape. It's important to let your parents know -- they relax when they're sure of what you're up to.” 

Say good morning — or at least "Hi" to each member of your family when you first see him in the morning. Answer when your spoken to — Say, "Yes, mother."; "No, mother."; "Yes, dad."; "No, dad." instead of Yah, Unhuh, Nope, and Naw, which are noises, not words.

Say hello to your father when he comes home from work — Just a simple, "Hi, dad" as he takes off his coat reminds him of what he's working for —  you, mostly.

Let your family know when you come and go — You're home and all's well. You're off to a pal's for a while. You're going to buy some bicycle tape. It's important to let your parents know — they relax when they're sure of what you're up to. The more cooperative you are about your plans, the more cooperative they'll be.

Replace what you borrow — and believe it or not, others will do the same for you!

Say "Sorry" when you bump into someone, step on a toe, or get in someone's way — and that goes for young and old, male and female victims.

Stand up when your mother comes into a room and offer her a chair if she's going to sit down. Hold her chair for her when she comes to the dining room table. Then you'll remember to do this for other women.

Open doors for your mother and sisters — for all women, as a matter of fact, and let them go ahead of you.

Carry packages for your mother or any other woman you're walking with.  This includes sisters.

Say "Thank you" and "Please" when you ask for something or get it. These may have been your first words of good manners, but no matter how tall in the saddle you get, they're still your most powerful weapons.

Pay your debts, even if it's only a dime you owe your little sister. It's the only way to avoid becoming a dead beat, a beggar, or a bad risk. If you're broke, offer to do an errand or a chore; then pay what you owe on the spot.

Observe others' privacy — and you'll get the privacy you want for your own room, possessions, mail, books, or collections.

When you share a room, do your share of housekeeping — particularly in the bathroom. Hang up towels, put your own stuff where it belongs, and clean the bathtub before you leave.

Say goodnight to your parents when you're ready to go to bed. You don't believe in ghosts anymore, so why disappear like one yourself?

 Source ~ Marjabelle Young Stewart’s and Ann Buchwald's 1969, 

Stand up, Shake hands, Say "How Do You Do" ~ What boys need to know about today's manners

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©  Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Habits Which Annoy

Gum Chewing ~ Never leave gum where others can see it ...

How to Improve 

Unless you are constantly guarding against them, you are likely to develop personal habits that will be annoying to other persons. A little thought and conscientious effort concerning the things you do and say will improve your manners and add to your popularity.

Among the following suggestions you may discover habits of your own of which you previously have been unaware.

Gum Chewing 

Gum chewing should be done privately and quietly, and not in an office or in any public place. When you chew gum, never make a snapping, smacking sound with it, or pull it out of your mouth in long strings. When you are through with your gum, deposit it in a piece of paper and drop it into the waste basket. Never leave it where others can see it, or where it is likely to become fastened to shoes or clothing. This should be taught to children when they chew their first piece of gum.

Accepting Favors 

Some persons accept countless favors from their friends and return few of them. When refreshments or theater tickets are to be purchased, such persons appear so busily engaged in conversation that they are several yards from the cashier's desk or the ticket window when another member the party approaches it. These individuals offer effusive thanks after the other person has spent her money, and declare that "next time will be our turn" but it isn't. Don't be a sponge; if you can't pay your share of expenses, don't go.

Other favors of smaller proportion often are accepted without return – such things as invitations to a friends home, and countless accommodations with her automobile. Even though you cannot return favors extended to you in exactly the same way, you can do other things occasionally to show your appreciation.

Refreshing Makeup 

Combing hair, cleaning fingernails, applying cheek rouge, patting  powder on the face, smoothing eyebrows – never should be done in public.

If you wear lipstick, and your lips look pale after eating, apply a touch of lipstick before leaving a public dining table if there is no dressing room where you can stop for a minute. Of course, if you have been in a private home, you may excuse yourself and go to the mirror. Do not apply so much make up that you will be forced to remove part of it on a handkerchief or napkin. Don't twist your lips in grotesque shapes. These things call attention to what you are doing in the most unpleasant way. Combing hair, cleaning fingernails, applying cheek rouge, patting  powder on the face, smoothing eyebrows -- never should be done in public. Never give hair more than a pat in public; do not send dandruff, dust, and loose hair flying into people's faces and into food. Never clean fingernails in public. Use a fingernail brush when you wash your hands and your nails will be clean.

Body Odors 

Body odors are an unforgivable social offense. Deodorants are easy to apply, and immediately effective

The Toucher

Do you  have the habit of touching everything you see?

Do you  have the habit of touching everything you see? Do you walk into stores handling everything on the counter? If you're shown a lovely piece of glass or china in a friend's home, must you handle it until it is covered with finger marks? Never touch anything in the store unless you're considering buying it, in which case you will want to look at it carefully. Never touch anything in a home unless you're invited to do so by word or action.

The Sniffler

Scarlett sniffles..."Never, at any crisis of your life, have I known you to have a handkerchief."

The nervous habit of sniffling or coughing annoys everyone. If you have these habits, consult a doctor if you think you cannot overcome them.

The Picker

Almost all of us have known the "picker" - the person who scratched her scalp...

Almost all of us have known the picker -- the person who picked at her teeth and lips, who scratched her scalp, picked at blemishes, picked her cuticle, or nose. We want to put these people out of our minds as quickly as possible. Picking is a nervous habit practiced while waiting in the easy chair or engaging in conversation. It is a disgusting habit, and every person should make an effort to avoid it. – Source ~ “Searchlight Homemaking Guide,” 1937

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia