Etiquette for Properly Making Tea

Tea is an extremely delicate article!

A CUP OF TEA

How To Make It Properly, and How to Spoil It ...  from The London Telegraph, 1889

"It seems a simple thing enough; yet of the millions who use this refreshing and agreeable beverage a very small proportion understand bow to prepare it. But if not properly made, tea is deprived of a great deal of its value, and sometimes rendered absolutely injurious. The water to be used should boil, and it should be poured on the tea immediately it boils; if allowed to overboil the peculiar property of boiling water which acts upon tea evaporates and eventually disappears. Tea should not be a decoction, but an infusion. If allowed to stew, it becomes little better than a decoction of tannic acid. Tea that is overdrawn is hurtful to the nerves and to the digestion. As to the precise number of minutes which should be devoted to the process of drawing, some people will say five minutes, some seven, some will perhaps go as far as ten, but our experience is in favor of six; this suffices to bring out the flavor, quality and strength.
        

The replenishing of the teapot with fresh hot water is very objectionable.

Just as much tea as is wanted should be made — no more. Make fresh tea as often as it is required. The replenishing of the teapot with fresh hot water is very objectionable. As the thorough heating of the receptacle is of the first importance, the teapot should be made thoroughly hot before the tea is put into it. The earthenware teapot is preferred to all others by many connoisseurs, and it is superfluous to say that whatever utensil is used for this purpose should be immaculately clean.
                                    

Reading the tea leaves, do you see a better cup of tea in your future?

Tea is an extremely delicate article. Its susceptibility to the odors of commodities near it is a source of danger and deterioration, as it readily takes up the smell of coffee, cocoa, spices, cheese, bacon, or other articles of pronounced odor. The complaints sometimes made about tea would probably not arise if always kept in places free from such contagion. Tea should be stored in a warm, dry place; unnecessary exposure to the air should be avoided. Even when securely packed in the leaden chests in which it arrives in England, the change from the glowing lights of Eastern skies to the damp and humid atmosphere of this climate deprives tea of much of its beautiful fragrance.         

No burnt hands! No lifting the pot! No aching arms! No soiled clothes! It turns the drudgery of pouring a cup of tea into a pleasure! How fragile were American women? ~ An American made self-pouring tea pot from 1888

Tea of much better quality than is generally dispensed at our railway stations and refreshment rooms can be bought at 2s per' pound. A pound of tea would make 128 cups. This is "considerably less than a farthing per cup. You may well ask why is it that we should be still charged 4d and 6d "for a little hot milk and water slightly flavored with undesirable tannin."

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Etiquette and Victorian Tea Science

Making Tea Scientifically 

An English Analyst Sets Down the Rules of the Process

Professor Goodfellow, the well known English analyst, gives these rules for making "good" tea: 

1. Always use good tea. 

2. Use "two" hot, dry earthenware teapots. 

3. Use soft water which has just got to the boil. 

4. Infuse about four minutes. 

5. Pour off into the second hot, dry teapot. 

6. Avoid second brews with used tea leaves. 

The fact that tea, as served in France is so often bad, may be accounted for by the omission of some one, or perhaps all, of the above rules in its preparation. They are all necessary to make a, cup of really good tea, and if they were more often strictly adhered to tea would oftener be a delicious beverage. Even at the best "afternoon tea" rooms in England, America and France I do not believe that "two" hot, "dry" teapots are often used to make tea "fresh for each customer," or that the tea leaves thereafter are thrown away.– The Los Angeles Herald, 1899

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Etiquette for Formal Afternoon Teas

      An ornate tea server 

These are very successful as a rule, due perhaps to their small expense and few exactions, and are given with many purposes: to introduce young women into society, to allow a hostess to entertain a number of her friends, to honor some woman of note, etc.

A formal afternoon tea is one for which cards have been issued, naming set date. Awnings and carpet should be provided from curb to house. A man should be stationed at the curb to open carriage doors and call them when the guests leave, and another man should be in attendance at the front door to open it the moment a guest appears at the top step and to direct him to the dressing room.

A policeman should be detailed for the occasion to keep back the onlookers, and should receive a small fee for his services. At the door of the drawing-room a man should ask the name of each guest, which he announces as the latter enters. The hostess and those receiving with her should be just within the door to receive the guests.



CARDS
Each guest should leave a card in the tray in the hall. A woman may leave the cards of the men of her family who have been unable to attend. Cards should be sent by mail or messenger by those invited but unable to be present, and should be timed so that they reach the house during the function.

A husband and wife each send a card when the invitation is issued in the name of the hostess only, and two cards each when issued in the name of hostess and her daughter. If issued in the name of both husband and wife, a husband should send two and his wife should send one card.

DAUGHTERS
The daughters who have passed the debutante age usually stand for an hour beside their mother to receive the guests, and afterward mingle with the guests to help to make the function a success.

A comedic look at the “London Season” in 1870 ~ The “London Season” is synonymous with tradition, and both British and international codes of conduct in social, corporate entertainment and business environments. It actually began over two hundred years ago, and started out as a series of events, enjoyed only by members of the aristocracy. 

DEBUTANTE

When a tea is given in honor of a debutante, she stands beside the hostess (usually her mother), and each guest is introduced to her. Flowers should be liberally provided, and friends may contribute on such an occasion. The host and the men all wear the regulation afternoon dress. Women wear costumes appropriate to the afternoon, more elegant in proportion to the elaborateness of the function.

Guests may suit their convenience in arriving, provided they do not come at the opening hour nor at the very end.

After leaving their wraps in the dressing-rooms, guests enter the drawing-room, leaving their cards in the tray in the hall, and then giving their names to the man at the door, who announces them. On entering the room, the women precede the men. After greeting the hostess and being introduced to those receiving with her, the guests move into the middle of the room. Guests go the dining-room when they wish without greeting the hostess.

It is not expected that guests at a large reception will stay all the afternoon. Twenty minutes is long enough. It is not necessary to bid the hostess good-bye when leaving.

If guests take leave of host and hostess, they should shake hands. In the dining-room the men, assisted by the waiters, help the women.

When the reception is a small formal one, the guests may stay a longer time, and usually it is better to take leave of the hostess, unless she is much occupied at the time.

HOST
Except when a newly married couple give a house-warming or a reception, the host does not stand beside his wife, but spends the time in making introductions, and doing his best to make the function a success.

When some married woman or woman guest of honor assists his wife to receive, he should at the proper moment escort her to the dining-room.

HOSTESS
The hostess and those receiving with her should be just within the door, ready to receive each guest as announced. The hostess shakes hands with each guest, and introduces them to those receiving with her. Friends assisting a hostess to entertain are generally permitted to invite a few of their own friends, and their cards are sent with those of the hostess. A pretty feature is the presence of a number of young women here and there in the rooms to assist in receiving the guests. Music is always appropriate.

HOURS
The hours are from 4 to 7 P.M.

INTRODUCTIONS
The hostess should introduce her guests to those receiving with her.

INVITATIONS
Engraved invitations are sent a week or ten days in advance, by mail or messenger. They are usually issued in the name of the hostess only, though they may be issued in the name of both husband and wife. In place of the visiting-card, an "At Home" card may be used, or cards specially engraved for the purpose. When cards are sent to a married couple, the cards are addressed to both husband and wife.

Invitations are sent in two envelopes-the inner one unsealed and bearing the name of the guest, and the outer one sealed, with, the street address.

INVITATIONS, ANSWERING
It is not necessary to accept or decline these invitations, as the guest accepts by his presence. If unable to do so, he should send by mail or messenger a visiting-card, to reach the hostess during the ceremony. When the invitation has been issued in the name of the hostess only, a husband and wife each send a card, and if in the name of hostess and her daughter, each should send two cards. If the invitation has been issued in the name of the husband and wife, the wife should send one and a husband two cards.

If the woman in the family is the only one present at the function, she can leave cards for the rest of the family.

MEN
Both the host and men wear the regulation afternoon dress, consisting of the long frock coat with single or double-breasted waistcoat to match, or of some fancy cloth, and gray trousers. White linen, a light tie, a silk hat, gray gloves, and patent leather shoes complete the costume. The overcoat, hat, and cane are left in the dressing-room, and the guest removes one or both gloves as he pleases --remembering that he must offer his ungloved, right hand to the hostess.

SHAKING HANDS

Guests on being presented to the hostess should shake hands. If guest takes leave of hostess, they should shake hands. If the hostess is surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.

WOMEN
Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their own, even though their names may be announced upon entering. Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided for the purpose, or give them to the servant at the door. Women wear a costume appropriate for the afternoon, and keep their hats and gloves on.

From “The Book of Good Manners,” by W.C. Green

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The Rewards of Etiquette

Society is a game which all men play. “Etiquette” is the name given the rules of the game.  If you play it well, you win.  If you play it ill, you lose.  The prize is a certain sort of happiness without which no human being is ever quite satisfied.

Because the demand for social happiness is thus fundamental in human nature, the game has to be played quite seriously. If played seriously, it is perforce successful, even when the outward signs of triumph are lacking. Played seriously, it becomes a worthy part of the great enterprise of noble living, the science of which is called “Ethics.” Therefore the best etiquette is that which is based upon the fundamental principles of ethics.

The etiquette, as well as the ethics, of to-day may well be summed up in the one maxim known as the “Golden Rule”: “Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you.” Or in the philosophic statement of it, given by Kant: “Act so that the maxim of thy conduct shall be fit to be universal law.” A certain social sense is, therefore, the foundation upon which all concerted action rests; and this, permeating the character and winning conformity in the life, produces a social order which is at once the criterion of civilization and the source of its power.

Every social code presupposes the trained personality, that is, the individual who is intelligent enough and controlled enough to conform to the rules prescribed for the good of all. It is only in the common good that true individual good can be found. Therefore is it so essential that every man regard his brother's welfare as anxiously as his own, and permit himself to be curbed in his extravagances, limited in the indulgence of even legitimate desires, in order that he may not defraud another, or menace the general well-being. Not only in social life, but in business, politics, and international relations, this principle of the common good as the ultimate goal, the supreme authority for conduct, holds good. To it society approaches, now by direct progress and now by seeming reaction, but ever with a higher evaluation of justice.

This is shown in the fulfillment of both small and large obligations. Following the rules of courtesy, men give to each other that deference which each believes is his own due, and each receives in return twofold the deference that he sincerely gives. Men show, at home and abroad, the courtesy to women in general that they would wish shown to those of their family, and thereby the standard of respect for woman is so lifted that even the city street at night is a safe place for a woman to pass unaccosted, if it is necessary for her to go unattended.
 

Rigidly do we hold ourselves to the established rules of good breeding, endeavoring to make of ourselves all that Nature will permit; and we are surprised to find that Nature's own gentlemen and gentlewomen gather about us, and rare souls look to us for companionship, as finding in us kindred spirits. No field so surely bears a like harvest as the one sown with the seeds of good-will and consideration for others.


Etiquette tells us how to accomplish what we desire,—to make clear the path to the goal of high companionship with many worthy minds,—and enables us to get out of social intercourse the honey that is hidden there. Without it, as social beings, we should be as workmen without tools, architects without material, musicians without instruments. After all, however, etiquette is only a tool, and should never be mistaken for the finished work itself.

How you carry yourself at a reception is not a matter of so great moment, as is the fact that you went, and there exchanged certain worth-while thoughts with certain people. It is the people, the thoughts they gave you and you gave them, and the practical influence on your life of those people and those thoughts, which are of moment. Just as, from a musicale, you must carry the music away in your soul, either in definite memories or in a refreshed and more joyous frame of mind, or it is of no avail that you attended, so from social intercourse it is absolutely necessary that you carry away the inspiration of meeting others and the thoughts that they have given you, and garner from those help and guidance in your life, or the most elaborate of toilets, the most perfect of manners, and the most ceremonious of customs are of little worth. The tool, however, becomes invaluable when the master desires to create.

                                   

Therefore, if we wish to gain from social life the enjoyment and happiness and help which it should yield, we should become familiar with the practice of the best forms of etiquette, so that we shall have skill and aptitude in their application. The rewards of etiquette are, therefore, both spiritual and material. That fine poise of soul which restrains all selfish and unlovely tendencies, that clear insight which sees the individual as but a single unit in the composite of the human race, that high aspiration which culls only the best from the mingled elements of life,—all these come from a true and sincere adherence to the spirit of courteous observances, and each of these is its own reward.

On the other hand, human hearts open only to gentle influences, and all that it is in the power of human beings to bestow upon one another comes most readily and most lavishly to those who outrage no social instinct. To be highly and sincerely honored socially means to be well loved, and that must mean to be lovable. Wealth and family position are matters of chance as far as the individual is concerned, but good breeding is a matter of personal desire and effort. It makes for power and influence, and often literally commands the wealth and position which the accident of birth has refused. It is the necessary colleague of intellectual ability in winning the farthest heights of success, and makes the plains of mediocre attainment habitable and pleasant.~ From Edith B. Ordway's “The Etiquette of To-Day,” 1918

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia