A Review of 1886 Etiquette in 1948

“When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above the ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.” – Above, what the fashionable women of 1886 would be wearing while following the etiquette of the day.

Can You Imagine Following 

Gilded Age Etiquette 

in 1948?

According to an etiquette book published in 1886, there are things that a lady, or gentleman, doesn't do. Can't you just see some Tamites abiding by these rules?

“A lady ought to adopt a modest and measured gait; too great hurry injures the grace which ought to characterize her.” (what if you only have five minutes between classes?) “She should not present herself alone in a library or museum, unless she goes there to study or work as an artist.

“After twilight, a young lady would not be conducting herself in a becoming manner, by walking alone, If the host wishes to accompany you himself, you must excuse yourself politely for giving him so much trouble, but finish, however, by accepting.

“When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above the ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.” – Tamalpais News, 1948

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Card Protocol

‘‘There is one unvarying rule for women, married and single. It is never right nor in good form to sign one’s name with the addition of Miss or Mrs. You are Mary Emily Jones, not Mrs. Patrick Fitzgerald Jones, to whomsoever you may be writing. If it is necessary to notify your correspondent of your married style and estate, you may do so and in one of several ways. 

A Woman’s Name: The Etiquette of the Signature and the Name on the Card

As far as the etiquette of the signature is concerned, Harper’s Bazar says: ‘‘There is one unvarying rule for women, married and single. It is never right nor in good form to sign one’s name with the addition of Miss or Mrs. You are Mary Emily Jones, not Mrs. Patrick Fitzgerald Jones, to whomsoever you may be writing. If it is necessary to notify your correspondent of your married style and estate, you may do so and in one of several ways. 

“Please remember that a correspondent should not be left in doubt as to this, much embarrassment being frequently caused by the omission, in letters between strangers, of exact information as to whether the writer is married or single. You may readily indicate all you wish to tell. “You may place Mrs. P. F. before the Mary Emily aforesaid in parentheses. You may write Mrs. Patrick Fitzgerald out fully and plainly in the left hand corner of your sheet below your proper signature, or you may simply inclose your engraved visiting card in your letter, this being on the whole most elegant and also the most convenient method of showing one’s relation to society. 

“The exception must be remarked here that the visiting card is out of place in an exclusively business letter — one which has not even remotely a social bearing. Card etiquette is one of the finest and most delicate tests by which a woman classifies her acquaintances. Its laws are unalterable, its sins of omission or commission among the few that are absolutely unpardonable. Concerning the name on the card an authority tells that the name engraved in script through the center should have the address below it in the right hand corner, the day for receiving in the left corner. This name should never include a husband’s title or profession, but spell out the husband’s name in full, and not be written with the initials alone. 

“A daughter in the first year of her social life has no card, but engraves her name on her mother’s card. After this probationary year the eldest or the only daughter in a family writes only Miss before her family name. The younger daughters write the full name. It has been decided that on a widow’s card the dear name so long borne, so hard to relinquish, may be retained with propriety for social use, though in all practical matters the widow writes her own Christian name instead of that of her husband.”— Los Angeles Herald, 1893

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Card-Leaving Etiquette

A late 19th C. receipt from Montgomery Bros. (once known as “the Tiffany’s of LosAngeles”) for a steel plate for engraving calling or visiting cards, for a Mary Anne Martin, aka Mrs. William Martin of San Dimas California.

Between ladies the etiquette of card-leaving is very strictly followed and punctiliously observed in all its laws. Some ladies labour under the mistake of supposing that on their arrival in town or elsewhere, their acquaintances should first call on them, but common sense would alone point to the contrary, even if there were no etiquette in the matter; as friends cannot be supposed to guess at this fact, they require to be informed of it by means of visiting cards. 

Visiting cards should be left in person, and should not be sent by post, unless the distance is considerable, when it is permissible to do so. Under certain circumstances a servant might be allowed to leave them for his mistress, delicate health, distance, or unfavourable weather would be perhaps sufficient and good reasons for sending cards by a servant: but, as a rule, ladies invariably leave their cards themselves. 

It was formerly the custom, on arriving in town for ladies having a large acquaintance to send their visiting cards to their various friends and acquaintances by a man-servant, but this practice is now more unusual than usual, it being found more satisfactory for ladies to leave cards themselves. Ladies arriving in town or country should leave cards on their acquaintances and friends to intimate that they have arrived, or returned home, as the case may be. –From Manners and Rules of Good Society or Solecisms to. Be Avoided, 1898

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia