Gilded Age Sealing Wax Etiquette

Most correct are the seals with beloved sentiments such as, “Forget Me Not,” “True Friendship,” “With My Hand and Sele.” – A Gilded Wax Seal 
Photo source, Pinterest

The Correct Thing

The correct thing now is to seal one’s letters with red sealing wax if you will, but preferably blue, green or cinnamon colored, and seal with your crest or coat of arms if you choose.  

But more correctly, still with emblems, such as the good old sentimental ones our grandmothers loved: “Forget Me Not,” “True Friendship,” “With My Hand and Sele.”—Chicago Herald, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Sealing Wax Etiquette

Don't seal any letters that are going to tropical or very warm countries. The post-office authorities will usually reject them, as the sealing wax may melt and do damage to other mail.

Fashion Even Governs its Style and Colors

The latest pretty fancy is in the use of sealing-wax on feminine correspondence, and not a little time and taste have been expended in thinking out all the curious details of wax etiquette. To bride’s is devoted the white wax that, from the dealers in French stationery, is to be bought impregnated with an odor of orange flower, while embossed on the slender sticks of wax are flowered wreaths of the bridal blossoms. There can now be no mistake in distinguishing a young wife’s letter in the piles of one’s correspondence. When the honeymoon is over and the commonplace duties of life are once again assumed, madam’s letter-wax takes on a more practical tint, and her envelope flaps are held by disks of dark green, red, blue, brown, yellow or violet wax. 

For regular correspondence and small notes one chosen shade is invariably employed, but tact and discrimination are shown by sealing all written dinner invitations with a rich brown wax, sparkling with glints of gold perhaps. A note bidding her women friends to luncheon is distinguished by a red seal; for afternoon tea, gray-green is the proper shade; for balls, white wax touched with gold specks is proper. The wax, however, is only used to hold in safety in the envelope a written card or folded note. Engraved invitations must be trusted to the mucilage-flap for security. 

For widows, the laws for the use of sealing-wax are severe, indeed. Dead, lusterless black is the proper form, so long as the letter-paper wears a black border. When the border and long veil are replaced by cheerfuller signs, the wax brightens to a sober, cold clear gray. Then a pinkish gray, then lavender, violets, and at last, the familiar and brighter colors. These rules, says the authority, hold good in any other senses of bereavement. Young girls employ tinted perfumed wax, pale blue heliotrope, Nile green and buttercup yellow, and never use a more elaborate stamp than their initials. – Philadelphia Times, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Written Correspondence

Miss Allen said, “I am sure you did not open this, girls. You see, your mother knows that it is not correct to close the flap when she sends a note by messenger...”

The Children Learn Fine Points Of Letter Etiquette

The two Green sisters had a note for teacher. Mother had sent it with them. As the teacher took it in her hands, the girls saw her eyes fall upon the open flap of the envelope before she looked at the address on the envelope itself. The girls said, “Mother didn’t lick the envelope, Miss Allen, honestly, she didn't.’’ They seemed to think that the teacher might believe that they had opened the envelope to read the note. Miss Allen said, “I am sure you did not open this, girls. You see, your mother knows that it is not correct to close the flap when she sends a note by messenger. Suppose we talk about letter writing when the last bell rings.” 

During the ensuing discussion the children learned the following things about letter writing. First, that simple, plain letter paper is better than any gaudy or heavily decorated stationery. Correct letter paper is always unlined and certainly not perfumed. Fashions in monogramming change but rather plain initials, not too large, are always in good taste. Gold edged cards, monograms heavily embossed or engraved in silver or gold are not as correct as the smaller ones embossed in a color. 

Any note should be enclosed in an envelope, not sent with a corner of the folded paper turned down. But when the note is delivered by anyone other than a professional messenger the flap of the envelope is left unsealed. The envelope may carry the words “kindness of” but this is unnecessary. The recipient will know it has been brought by the bearer, so why state it on the envelope? 

It is silly to use colored inks. There is nothing easier to read than black on white or cream. Lavender ink, green ink, red ink may have their place on invitations for special affairs, such as a Saint Patrick's day party or a Christmas affair, but for every day use there is nothing nicer than black, or a blue so deep it looks black. – By Florence La Ganke, 1936

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Lady’s Writing-Desk Etiquette

Don't seal any letters that are going to tropical or very warm countries. The post-office authorities will usually reject them, as the sealing wax may melt and do damage to other mail.

Don’ts For Your Writing Desk

• Don't address any one as “My dear friend,” or “Dear Friend.” This is old fashioned and out of date. 
• Don't indulge in abbreviations in personal or social letters. In certain business letters certain customary abbreviations are usual which would be bad form in personal letters. 
• Don't used lined paper. If you can't possibly write straight use black lines under your note paper to guide you.  
• Don't write with pencil. It is bad enough to do it and worse yet to apologize for doing it. 
• Don't use a half sheet of paper when you have a little to write on the extra sheet. The economy you effect by dividing sheets in this way is too insignificant to think of for a moment. 
• Don't use colored inks jet black or a blue ink that dries almost black are the only sort sanctioned. 
• Don't use perfumed stationery. It may have been in good form once but it is certainly not at the present time.
• If there are any sachets in your writing desk, take them out. 
• Don't seal your letters unless you are a past master in the art. 
• Don't seal any letters that are going to tropical or very warm countries. The post-office authorities will usually reject them, as the sealing wax may melt and do damage to other mail. 

What Readers Ask... “I am a young girl of 20 and a boy friend of mine of whom I think of a good deal has gone away and has asked me to write. Would it be all right for me to write first or should I wait to hear from him?” Since he is the one who has left it would be customary to wait for him to write the first letter. It is usually the man’s place to write the first letter anyway. — Copyright, 1920, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Note Paper Etiquette

The height of bad form is in the use of anything startling or pronounced. Paper that rivals the sunset in gorgeousness of hue, odd shaped sheets and envelopes or gilt edged paper stamp the user at once as one who is not familiar with the precepts of fashion. 

Etiquette in Note Paper...

Cautions That the Delicate and Refined Woman Should Remember

If there is any one thing in the world that may be said to denote the breeding of a person it is in the taste displayed in the use of note paper. Fashions change but slightly in that line, and artistic simplicity is the form to be sought after. There is nothing so offensive as eccentricity in styles of paper, for it is one of the little things that seem so trivial and count for so much in the eyes of the world. 

The height of bad form is in the use of anything startling or pronounced. Paper that rivals the sunset in gorgeousness of hue, odd shaped sheets and envelopes or gilt edged paper stamp the user at once as one who is not familiar with the precepts of fashion. And not fashion alone, by any means; it is refinement that is shown in the use of proper stationery, and refinement and fashion may not always mean the same. 

Never use a paper that is decorated with flowers in one corner, the leaves of which wander all over the sheet. Avoid anything in that way. A landscape resembling a Christmas card or fancy figures for headings are not in their proper places on note paper. There is nothing artistic in such forms, nothing refined, simply a display of bad taste and ill breeding that is shocking to the person well informed on such matters. The etiquette of note paper is dictated by taste. 

Ladies should use only the smaller size of paper, requiring but one fold, and the envelope should be square. The single correspondence cards have gone out of style and are seldom seen nowadays. The paper is generally linen or cream laid, as best suits individual taste and should be unruled. White or cream paper is the best, although a gentle shade of blue is permitted. Other tints are not desirable, neither are they proper. Do not use paper that is ragged at the edges nor envelopes with curious flaps. 

The best linen paper may be purchased at the same price as is paid for the fancy varieties, and the best is the cheapest: it is a guarantee of refinement. If a monogram is desired, have it engraved—never printed. In this country coats of arms and crests are out of place, but you may have a neat monogram or your initials for a heading with perfect propriety, only be sure that the work is in keeping with taste and not too prominent or glaring. 

The name of your country place is very good, the name of the village in which you live, or the street number, if you chance to reside in a city. In the latter case, however, omit the name of the town, and in either case the state should not be given. This is but a glance at the etiquette of note paper; it is very simple when you think of it, but so many people seem to be ignorant of the rules. The one great thing in note paper is to avoid vulgarity or show in any way, and then you know that you cannot be wrong. The simplest is the best. Oddities of tint or ornament which are the caprice of a day should be used with caution.—Harpers Bazar, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia