Marie Antoinette’s Last Etiquette Lesson

The Comtesse de Noailles, nicknamed “Madame Etiquette,” bored Marie Antoinette very much by her particularity on minor points of conduct. One day, Marie Antoinette’s mocking spirit had its chance. She fell from her donkey and lay on the grass for a while, laughing. “Run as fast as you can,” she said to the nearest attendant as soon as she could speak, “and ask Madame Etiquette how the Queen of France ought to behave when she tumbles off her donkey.” – Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1910
——————————————-
The last etiquette Marie Antoinette had to learn in France, was that which the courtly gentlemen, nobles of the old regime, rehearsed with her and the others sentenced to death —  the etiquette suitable for those condemned, in order that no one might by confused or awkward when the time came for their fates to be realized.

“At 15, Marie Antoinette was married. At 19 she was a Queen, a creature lovely to look upon. At 37 she died on the guillotine, one of the most pitiable as she was the most conspicuous among all the thousands upon thousands who lost their heads in the French Revolution. Born the daughter of Emperor Francis Ist of Austria and his ambitious and gifted consort, Marie Therese, she was reared, for a Princess of the blood, among exceedingly simple surroundings. Small wonder that the transition from what almost had been a cloistered life to the most brilliant, the most dissolute, the most extravagant court in Christendom should have proven disastrous for her. From the hour when she became the wife of the heir apparent to the French throne, the pathway of the girl-bride was beset with difficulties and pitfalls.

“She was under the exacting dominion of her imperious father-in-law, Louis XV; she was under the hostile eye of Louis’s shrewd and unscrupulous mistress, Madame du Barry. She was enmeshed in intrigues, envies, jealousies, feuds and plots. That she was frivolous and headstrong and wasteful; that she made enemies by her interference in public affairs; that she estranged those who should have been her friends and her devoted allies, these charges, not even her most sympathetic partisan among the chroniclers could deny. But when the Monarchy fell in bloodied ruins; when the ‘Time of the Terror’ came to Paris; when she was insulted, imprisoned, widowed by violence; when she barbarously was torn from her children, including that hapless boy who went down in history as the Lost Dauphin; when at her trial she so gallantly faced atrocious accusations affecting her moral character; when finally she was led forth bound like a dangerous malefactor to be done to death before a shrieking, exultant mob, then her courage, her faith and her noble bearing redeemed Marie Antoinette for all the grievous shortcomings of her youth.

“As a ruler she fell short, as a wife she had her faults, as a royal politician she was an abject failure. But as a mother, as a woman rising to sublime heights of fortitude in the face of a hideous doom, she stands forth for posterity, an heroic and noble figure. Her old secret foe, Madame du Barry, was born like a commoner and died like a craven of commoners. Being condemned to the knife, she went screaming and struggling to her fate— writhing in her bonds, begging for mercy with her last breath, practically crazed with fright. But in her death, at least, Marie Antoinette was regal and splendid.” — By Irvin S. Cobb, 1925

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Courtly Guillotine Etiquette in France

Courtly gentlemen, nobles of the old regime, rehearsed them in the etiquette suitable for those condemned, in order that no one might by confused or awkward when the summons came. — The depictions of Marie Antoinette and another condemned prisoner, in 1920’s attire relieves some of the tragedy of the story overall.

How Marie Antoinette Stood Before Accusers Unflinching and Doomed Aristocrats Developed Etiquette for the Occasion 

Thanks to the books of hundreds of chroniclers, and at least one historic painting, every well-informed school child knows something of the last anguished hours of Marie Antoinette. How before being led forth for death, she protested against the shame of having her hands lashed behind her, as were a common criminal, and pointed out her husband had been left unpinioned in his ride to the place of execution. How her enemies disregarded her plea and tightly corded her wrists, so that the kindly priest who accompanied her in the dreadful journey, repeatedly pressed against the knotted rope in an effort to ease the pain in her bruised flesh. How in a crude cart she jolted over the cobbled streets of Paris, her head held erect and face bared to the taunts and jeers of the populace. 

How when passing the palace where she had spent her happiest hours, the widowed Queen fell into a faint. How reviving both her will and her spirit, she did not wince at sight of the guillotine but with dignity climbed its wooden steps and even begged the pardon of one of the executioners upon whose toe she accidentally trod in mounting the platform. How she suffered herself to be strapped to the board and how quietly she lay there while they were adjusting the mechanism of the great blade which a moment later sheared through her slender neck. In years, she was still young —only thirty seven —but eye-witnesses recorded that she looked that morning like an old woman, worn and haggard. Her hair in less than three months had turned almost white. 

Thanks also to many veracious accounts, we know of the proud courage of so many of Marie Antoinette’s fellow-prisoners, doomed as she was, to be sacrificed to the fury of the populace, acting through the caprices of a tribunal which gave to each of them the mockery of a trial, and the certainty in most cases, of conviction. Aristocratic ladies locked in foul prisons almost gaily cropped their heads in anticipation of the fall of the knife. Courtly gentlemen, nobles of the old regime, rehearsed them in the etiquette suitable for those condemned, in order that no one might by confused or awkward when the summons came. They practiced binding each other. The women discussed the question of appropriate dressings of the neck. A whole code of manners was evolved by these gallant souls that awaited a legalized slaughter. — By Irvin S. Cobb, 1925

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Marie Antoinette vs 19th C. Anglomania

If the ladies could only see how pretty is their gesture when their diaphanous forefinger and thumb grasps a leaf of delicate green lettuce and raises that leaf from the porcelain plate to their rosy lips, they would all immediately take to eating salad à la Marie Antoinette. 

—Photo source, Weheartit.com

Theodore Child writes in Harper’s Bazar: 

The Anglo-Saxons are afraid to use their fingers to eat with, especially the English. Thanks to this hesitation, I have seen in the course of my travels in the old world many distressing sights, I have seen a lady attempt to eat écrevisse with a knife and fork and abandon the attempt in despair. I have also seen men In the same fix. I have seen—oh, barbarous and cruel spectacle!- Anglo-Saxons, otherwise apparently civilised, cut off the points of asparagus and eat these points only with a fork, thus leaving the best part of the vegetable on their plates. As for artichokes they generally utterly defeat the attacks of those who trust only to the knife and fork. 

Fingers must he used for eating certain things notably asparagus, artichokes, fruit, olives, radishes, pastry, and even small fried fish; in short everything which will not dirty or grease the fingers, may be eaten with the fingers. For my own part, I prefer to eat lettuce salad with my fingers rather than a fork, and Queen Marie Antoinette and other ladies of the eighteenth century were of my way of thinking. If the ladies could only see how pretty is their gesture when their diaphanous forefinger and thumb grasps a leaf of delicate green lettuce and raises that leaf from the porcelain plate to their rosy lips, they would all immediately take to eating salad à la Marie Antoinette. Only bear in mind, good ladies, that if you do wish to eat lettuce salad with your fingers you must mix your salad with oil and vinegar, and not with that abominable ready-made white “salad dressing,” to look upon which is nauseating. 

May heaven preserve us from excessive Anglomania in matters of table service and eating. The English tend to complicate the eating tools far too much. They have too many forks for comfort, and the forms of them are too quaint for practical utility. Imitate Marie Antoinette, ladies: use your fingers more freely; eat decently, of course, but do not be the slaves of silly Anglomania or Newport crazes. To eat a pear or an apple conveniently, cut it into quarters, and peel each quarter in turn as you eat it. The peach, too, can be cut into quarters, if the eater is timid. Apricots do not need peeling, nor plums either. Who would be bold enough to peel a fresh fig or to touch such a delicate fruit, even with the purest silver instruments. — Marin Journal, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Marie Antoinette’s Etiquette vs Anglomania

“For my own part, I prefer to eat lettuce salad with my fingers rather than with a fork, and Queen Marie Antoinette and other ladies of the Eighteenth century were of my way of thinking. If the ladies could only see how pretty is their gesture when their diaphanous forefinger and thumb grasps a leaf of delicate green lettuce, and raises that leaf from the porcelain plate to their rosy lips, they would all immediately take to eating salad à la Marie Antoinette.”
– Photo of Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette from Pinterest 

Anglomania in Eating 

_______________________

Some Plain Talk About the Finicky Ways of “Overly Dainty” People

The Anglo-Saxons are afraid to use their fingers to eat with, especially the English. Thanks to this hesitation, I have seen in the course of my travels in the Old World, many distressing sights. I have seen a lady attempt to eat crawfish (écrevisse) with a knife and fork, and abandon the attempt in despair. I have also seen men in the same fix. I have seen—oh, barbarous and cruel spectacle!—Anglo-Saxons, otherwise apparently civilized, cut off the points of asparagus, and eat these points only with a fork, thus leaving the best part of the vegetable on their plates. As for artichokes, they generally utterly defeat the attacks of those who trust only to the knife and fork. 

Fingers must be used for eating certain things, notably asparagus, artichokes, fruit, olives, radishes, pastry, and even small fried fish; In short, everything which will not dirty or grease the fingers may be eaten with the fingers. For my own part, I prefer to eat lettuce salad with my fingers rather than with a fork, and Queen Marie Antoinette and other ladies of the Eighteenth century were of my way of thinking. If the ladies could only see how pretty is their gesture when their diaphanous forefinger and thumb grasps a leaf of delicate green lettuce, and raises that leaf from the porcelain plate to their rosy lips, they would all immediately take to eating salad à la Marie Antoinette. Only bear in mind, good ladies, that if you do wish to eat lettuce salad with your fingers, you must mix your salad with oil and vinegar, and not with that abominable ready-made, white “salad dressing,” to look upon which is nauseating. 

May heaven preserve us from excessive Anglomania in matters of table service and eating. The English tend to complicate the eating tools far too much. They have too many forks for comfort, and the forms of them are too quaint for practical utility. Certainly silver dessert knives and forks are very good in their way, because they are not susceptible to the action of fruit acids, but it is vain and clumsy to attempt to make too exclusive use of the knife and fork in eating fruit. Don’t imitate, for instance, certain ultra-correct English damsels who eat cherries with a fork and swallow the stones because they are too modest, or rather too asinine, to set them out on to the plate. Eating is not a thing to be ashamed of. 

To thoroughly enjoy a peach you must bite it, and feel the juicy perfumed flesh melt in your mouth. But let the Anglomaniacs say what they please, there is no necessity of sticking a fork into the peach, and peeling it while so impaled, as if it were an ill-favored and foul object. A peach is as beautiful to the touch as it is to the eye; a peach held between human fingers has its beauty enhanced by the beauty of the fingers. However dainty and ornate the silver dessert knife and fork may be, it always irritates me to see people out up their peaches, or pears, or apricots, or what not, into cubes and parallelepipeds, as if dessert were a branch of conic sections. 

Imitate Marie Antoinette, ladies; use your fingers more freely: eat decently, of course, but do not be the slave of silly Anglomania or Newport crazes. To eat a pair or an apple conveniently, cut it into quarters, and peel each quarter in turn as you eat it. The  peach, too, can be cut into quarters, if the eater is timid. Apricots do not need peeling, nor plums either. Would you be bold enough to peel a fresh fig, or to touch such a delicate fruit even with the purest silver instruments? —Theodore Child in Harper’s Bazar, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Marie Antoinette and Mme. Etiquette

Nicknamed “Madame Etiquette” by Marie Antoinette, for her continual insistence that no minutia of Versailles court etiquette could ever be ignored or disregarded, French noblewoman and Versailles court official, Anne d’Arpajon, the Comtesse de Noailles, served as the “dame d’honneur” for two Queens of France – Marie Leszczyńska and Marie Antoinette. –Above– Judy Davis played Madame Etiquette in 2006’s “Marie Antoinette” Photo source, Pinterest

 A Delicate Point?

“When fourteen year old Marie-Antoinette arrived in France the lady singled out to be her guide was not a warm, motherly person but the one who was next in line for such an exalted office. It was Anne Claude Louise d'Arpajon, Vicomtesse de Noailles, who had been the first lady-in-waiting to the late Queen Marie Lesczynska and was therefore a stickler for etiquette. – The Tea at Trianon Blogspot

The Comtesse de Noailles, nicknamed “Madame Etiquette,” bored Marie Antoinette very much by her particularity on minor points of conduct. One day, Marie Antoinette’s mocking spirit had its chance. She fell from her donkey and lay on the grass for a while, laughing. “Run as fast as you can,” she said to the nearest attendant as soon as she could speak, “and ask Madame Etiquette how the Queen of France ought to behave when she tumbles off her donkey.” – Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1910

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Snuff and Etiquette at Versailles

Smoking was popular as well! – The active ingredient in tobacco was named “nicotine” after the French diplomat, Jean Nicot. Nicot introduced snuff tobacco to French Queen, Catherine de Medici, and the French Nobility.

After a French ambassador to Portugal returned to France with an addictive plant discovered in the New World, it caused a sensation in the French Royal Court. French diplomat and scholar, Jean Nicot, had been introduced to tobacco in Lisbon. There, it was being crushed into powder and was used as the remedy for a variety of maladies, ironically including cancer. Snuffing became a popular activity in Paris after the Queen Mother herself, Catherine de Medici, was introduced to snuffing tobacco by Nicot. He had demonstrated the inhalation of powdered tobacco, as a way to cure  de Medici's frequent headaches. It was later named the genus of tobacco cultivars “Nicotiana,” by the Swedish naturalist Carl Linnaeus in Nicot's honor. The active ingredient in tobacco was also named “nicotine” after the French diplomat.

Snuffing remained popular, and addictive, with the French Royals and Nobility. By the 18th century, snuff boxes were as socially important as fine pieces of jewelry. Anyone who was anyone needed to have a variété of these boxes. And as fashions changed frequently, so did the styles and designs of snuff boxes. At Versailles, showered with extravagance upon her marriage to Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette was gifted with 52 gold snuff boxes. From all accounts, Marie Antoinette was more likely to carry a box of bon-bons on her person, than a snuff box,  but she is said to have been responsible for the French standardization of the modern-day handkerchief.

Prior to the arrival and ultimate popularity of snuff tobacco in Europe, the handkerchief had become simply another object of fashion. Snuff brought the handkerchief back to its original purpose, and was indispensable for cleaning orange-brown, snuff-stained noses and fingers. White handkerchiefs were hardly appropriate for such a task, so snuff users began to employ large, colorful handkerchiefs to hide those stains. The handkerchief, up to that time, had come in many shapes; square, triangular, etc... According to legend, Marie Antoinette remarked that the square-shaped handkerchief at Versailles was the most pleasing, as well as the most convenient to use. The remark is said to have prompted Louis XVI to make mandatory that all handkerchiefs produced in France to be square in shape.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

Anne d'Arpajon, aka "Madame Etiquette" ~A French aristocrat and First Lady of Honour to Queens of France, Marie Leszczyńska and Marie Antoinette, Anne d'Arpajon was called "Madame Etiquette" by Marie Antoinette for her insistence that no minutia of court etiquette ever be disregarded or altered in any way. 

Dressing the French Queen

What a cruel ceremony was the dressing of that tame Queen! When Maria Antoinette, in the days of her cumbersome greatness, stood of a morning in the centre of her bed chamber, awaiting, after her bath, her first article of dress. It was presented to her, or rather it was passed over her royal shoulders by the "Dame d'Honneur." Perhaps, at the moment, a "Princess of the Blood" entered the room (for French Queens both dressed and dined in public), the right of putting on the primal garment of Her Majesty immediately devolved upon her, but it could not be yielded to her by the "Dame d'Honneur;" the latter, arresting the chemise de la reine as it was passing down the royal back, adroitly whipped it on, and, presenting it to the "Premiere Dame," that Noble lady transferred it to the "Princess of the Blood."

Madame d'Arpajon had once to give it up to the Duchess of Orleans, who, solemnly taking the same, was on the point of throwing it over the Queen's head, when a scratching (it was contrary to etiquette to knock) was heard at the door of the room. Thereupon entered the Countess de Provence, and she being nearer to the throne than the Lady of Orleans, the latter made over her office to the new comer, in the meantime, the Queen stood like Venus as to covering, but shaking with cold, for it was mid-winter, and muttering, "what an odious nuisance." The Countess de Provence entered on the mission which had fallen to herself, and this she did so awkwardly, that she entirely demolished a head-dress which had taken three hours to build. The Queen beheld the devastation, and got warm by laughing outright. – D. Doran, 1855

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Petit Trianon

Built by Louis XV of France, the Petit Trianon was not only an escape for Marie Antoinette from the formality of French Court life, but it also allowed her to shake off the burden of her many Royal responsibilities. She was under considerable pressure and judgement at Versailles, from both the Royal Court, but her family. The Petit Trianon was her place of leisure, where she could rest from the etiquette and formality of her life at Versailles. Since all was “de par la Reine” (by order of the Queen), no one, including her husband Louis XVI, were permitted to disturb her there or enter the property, without the Queen's express permission. This exclusivity alienated Royal Court Nobility, and allowed only the Queen's close inner circle (including Gabrielle de Polastron, the Duchesse de Polignac, and Princess de Lamballe) to be invited.

The Petit Trianon

***********

The Favorite Resort of Queen Marie Antoinette of France

Louis XVI gave the Petit Trianon to Marie Antoinette, and it became her favorite residence. To this turf, which she pressed with so light a step, the Queen of France came to forget the ennui and etiquette of Royal Majesty. Once at the Petit Trainon, the lovely Queen felt more happy. All her diadem was the flowers of her garden; she held, with a joyous hand, the light crook; in her Swiss dairy, which is still standing on the banks of a little brook, she herself prepared— with such delightful awkwardness—the milk of her cows! Poor Queen! How much site must afterward have regretted the sun, the waters, the flowers, the cream, and the strawberries, the sheep and the heifers of the Petit Trianon.– San Francisco Call, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

French Court Etiquette and Romance

Her air is as noble as her birth. Her hair is of a bright chestnut hue, and her complexion rivals that of the gayest flowers. The snowy whiteness of her skin betrays the lines from which she sprang. 

Incidents in the Lives of World-Famous Women

How the Princess Henriette of England Just Missed Being Queen of France

Among the fair women who made the court of Louis XIV famous for brilliancy and beauty, there were none lovelier than Henriette, Duchess d’Orleane. She was the daughter of Charles I of England and Henrietta Maria, and the wife of Philllppe, “the little Monsieur,” the King’s brother. 

When misfortune descended upon the royal house of Stuart the Princess Henriette was smuggled into France disguised as a vagabond in a ragged suit of boy’s clothes. She was restored to her mother, and although the exiled Queen was supremely happy to have her little daughter safe under her care, she was often driven to despair by their extreme poverty. The little girl was many times forced to spend the day in bed because there was no fuel to burn. 

Anne of Austria, the Queen-mother, supplied the English exiles with clothes and money, and, later on, invited them to the French court. As the little Henriette approached young womanhood she gave promise of becoming very beautiful. 

She is described in the following words by a contemporary: “Her air is as noble as her birth. Her hair is of a bright chestnut hue, and her complexion rivals that of the gayest flowers. The snowy whiteness of her skin betrays the lines from which she sprang. Her eyes are blue and brilliant, her lips ruddy, her throat beautiful, her arms and hands well made. Her charms show that she was born on a throne and is destined to return there.” 

She made her first public appearance at a ball given by Anne of Austria at the Louvre. When the gentlemen chose their partners for the opening dance the handsome young Louis of France offered his hand to the Princess of Mercoeur. The Queen-mother sternly rebuked him for this breach of etiquette, saying, “You must dance first with the Princess Henriette of England.’’ Queen Henrietta Maria saw that the King was not pleased with this interference, and sought to mend matters by answering: “My daughter has hurt her foot and therefore cannot dance.” 

But Anne of Austria was determined that her son should obey the laws of Court etiquette and insisted. “Then Henriette and Louis shall sit out the dance together.” From that moment Louis formed a dislike for his cousin, blasting the fond hopes of the two Queens that he would ask Henriette to share his throne. — By Eloise Farrington, March 1917

👑Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

On fashion – It's “a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reverence for the person or persons imitated.”

“Of course, fashion is largely imitative. There are two distinct reasons for imitation in matters of dress. The first is a desire to be like everyone else, to avoid being thought strange or queer by one's fellows. The second is a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reference for the person or persons imitated.

“A story is told of the Duke Philip of Burgundy who, in 1461, suffered a severe illness during which his hair was completely shorn. More than five hundred nobles of the time sacrificed their hair that the Duke might not feel conspicuous. What was the necessity with the Duke became a fashion among the nobles.

“We are told that in 1775, the Queen, Marie Antoinette of France, adopted a chestnut brown colour for her gown. This color pleased the King and it is written that every lady in court had on a dress of that colour the following day. There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.”          

Marie Antoinette's image graces a square handkerchief– There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.

“Many fashions were created by law. There is, for instance, a distinct order for edict concerning the shape of pocket handkerchiefs. It is dated June 2, 1785, and was issued by Louis XVI, supposedly at the request of Marie Antoinette. Up to her time, it would appear, handkerchiefs had been of all sizes and shapes. Some had been oblong, some around, some triangular, some square. The Queen believed that if the square form only were used the handkerchief would be very much more convenient. Consequently it was decreed, that, "The length of handkerchief shall equal their width, throughout my entire kingdom." Handkerchiefs have remained square since that day, and what the edict in 1785 made the fashion then, is still the fashion with us.” —From Lillian Eichler's, “The Customs of Mankind”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

French Etiquette and Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Bonaparte outdid Louis XIV when it came to etiquette edicts, while ruling France. 

According to author Dr. Philip Mansel: 

"Napoleon was one of the rudest monarchs in history: he attacked in conversation as well as on the battlefield. He insulted foreign ambassadors, taunted Marshal Berthier, his grand huntsman, and General Caulaincourt, his grand equerry, with their wives’ alleged infidelities, and called Talleyrand, his grand chamberlain (who was also foreign minister), “a lump of shit in a silk stocking”. It was said that Napoleon had a “green laugh”.

Among those who knew him well, Napoleon inspired little personal loyalty: almost all his courtiers turned against him after his defeats in 1814 and 1815, and in both years they forced him to abdicate. Almost all those who followed him to Saint Helena were trying to obtain financial rewards, or material for a book of memoirs, rather than acting out of loyalty. Napoleon maintained court etiquette on the island, keeping courtiers standing in his presence and insisting on being treated as an emperor.

Napoleon’s court also shows him to have been more obsessed with status than other monarchs of the day. He wanted more palaces and more formal etiquette, and was more autocratic than the Bourbons. He had more than 100 chamberlains, and a total of around 3,000 men in his household, whereas Louis XVI had had only four first gentlemen of the chamber, and around 2,000 in his household. In January 1814, when speakers in the chamber of representatives demanded peace, he was infuriated. At a reception in the Tuileries palace, he declared: “Everything resides in the throne. I alone represent the people”. He believed that France needed him more than he needed France.

In June 1815, Napoleon alienated opinion by preferring to wear the elaborate embroidered ‘Petit Costume de l’Empereur’ rather than the uniform of the Paris National Guard. He insisted on sending messages to the chamber of representatives through his chamberlains rather than through a responsible minister. After Waterloo, it voted his deposition."

Etiquette Run Mad in Royal Courts

“This is ridiculous!” Kirsten Dunst as a young, Marie Antoinette

 “Etiquette Run Mad,” 1879

We, in this easy mannered republic, can have a little conception of the tyranny which etiquette has exercised in all the great courts of the world, and the imposing part it has played in the adjustment of grave national questions. Here, all our citizen kings can attend a reception at the White House without invitation, and with no forms of courtesy beyond those of ordinary good breeding. We feel only a sense of the ludicrous when we read of the fume and passion into which courtiers used to fall when offered a stool instead of a chair, in some royal drawing-room; placed at a feast opposite the carver, or below one whom they assumed to outrank.

Etiquette must not be violated, though the heavens fall...

During the reign of Louis XIV, while a tremendous war was raging between France and Spain, the grand monarch and his favorite courtiers where amusing themselves with fétes and balls among the marvelous groves, lakes, and fountains of Marly. One morning, the Duke of Villeroy, hot and dusty, came spurring to court with army dispatches. News of a decisive battle was hourly expected, and everybody awaited the opening of the papers with feverish impatience. But, unhappily, the minister whose duty it was to break the seal and present them to the king, was absent for the day. They might contain news of the defeat, of instant necessities, and changed instructions, but no matter, etiquette must not be violated though the heavens fall, and the haughty Louis, though dying with anxious suspense, went on with his childish masquerading with serenest countenance. The courtier was obliged to skulk out of sight and affect not to exist till the return of the proper functionary, when he suddenly resumed himself and presented his dispatch is, as if he had just that moment arrived.

“Madame... THIS is Versailles.” Judy Davis as “Madame Etiquette”

When Marie Antoinette, that charming, though somewhat volatile young princess, came over from simple-mannered Vienna to be the bride of the dauphin, she chafed much under the tedium of French etiquette. Her daily toilet was an affair of the most elaborate ceremony. Had she ventured to wash her own face or clasp her shoe-buckles, the whole court would have stood aghast with horror. Here is an example, one of many, showing how cruelly the rich free life of the young princess was tortured and pressed into the iron mould of court ceremonial. On one occasion, a lady in waiting was about lifting the Royal chemise over the royal shoulders, when the door opened and a second lady, superior in rank, entered. So the uplifted garment had to pause in mid air till number two could take it, and this happened thrice before the shivering young creature could be got into her clothes!

Prince Charles and Henrietta of France

Earlier in the century, when England sent to arrange a marriage between Prince Charles and Henrietta of France, everything came to a halt on the mighty question, whether His Eminence, Cardinal Richelieu, should give his right hand to the embassadors, and how many steps he should advance in conducting them out of the room. A messenger was about to be dispatched to consult the king of England in this grave difficulty when it fortunately occurred to somebody that if the cardinal would receive in bed, etiquette would be suspended. Accordingly, he feigned sickness, went to bed, and without further diplomacy the marriage settlements were made.

Few things in the records of the olden centuries are more amusing than those which relate the entanglements of court ceremonial.

From Demorest's Family Magazine 1879

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Marie Antoinette’s “Madame Etiquette”

Anne d'Arpajon, aka "Madame Etiquette" ~A French aristocrat and first lady of honour to Queens of France, Marie Leszczyńska and Marie Antoinette, Anne d'Arpajon was called"Madame Etiquette" by Marie Antoinette for her insistence that no minutia of court etiquette ever be disregarded or altered in any way.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Madame de Campan, first lady-in-waiting to Marie Antoinette, wrote of the Versailles' etiquette rules: 

“These servile rules were drawn up into a kind of code; they offered to a Richelieu, a La Rouchefoucauld and a Duras, in the exercise of their domestic functions, opportunities of intimacy useful to their interests; and their vanity was flattered by the customs which converted the right to give a glass of water, to put on a dress, and to remove a basin, into honorable prerogatives.”

Actress Judy Davis, standing behind Kirsten Dunst's Marie Antoinette, portrayed Anne d'Arpajon, aka”Madame Etiquette,” in the 2008 film, “Marie Antoinette” ~ “To enact their existence, to demonstrate their prestige, to distance themselves from lower-ranking people and have this distance recognized by the higher-ranking – all this was purpose enough in itself. But in etiquette this distancing of oneself from others as an end in itself finds its consummate expression.” – From Norbert Elias, 1983 “The Court Society”

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia