Dealing with Small Grossnesses

While it was nice of Jared to turn his head and avoid spraying the sampler, he still made two glaring mistakes.

Fingers vs. Forks with Shared Plates of Food

“Let's share an appetizer sampler,” you suggest. Your friends all agree enthusiastically, and soon a large plate of fried calamari, zucchini slices, and other delicious hors d'oeuvres arrives. You start to reach for a piece of calamari when, directly to your right, Jared suddenly turns away from the table and sneezes. He quickly wipes off his nose and hands, and then grabs a calamari with his fingers. You suddenly lose your appetite for good reason. While it was nice of Jared to turn his head and avoid spraying the sampler, he still made two glaring mistakes. First, he failed to excuse himself from the table to wash his hands after sneezing. Second, he used his hands to take items from the sampler plate.

Then you I realize, “I was about to take a calamari with my fingers, too— and nobody saw me picking my nose a few minutes ago.”

You resolve, from now on, to start using a fork or serving utensil whenever you're eating from a shared plate. Score another victory for consideration-based etiquette!

Double Dipping

You're hosting a party, and you decide to make a special effort by serving a big platter of shrimp along with a bowl of cocktail sauce. Everyone gathers around for the feast. The procedure is simple: grab a shrimp, dip it in the sauce, and enjoy.

Then it happens: across from you Dainty Debbie takes a bite and then, to your horror, dips the uneaten portion back into the sauce bowl so she can have a little sauce with her next bite. Several other guests look at you silently speculate: “What's he going to do?” and “Let me see if I can freshen up this plate,” you say to no one in particular. You pick up the platter and go to the kitchen, where you spoon out the area where Debbie double dipped or, better yet, replace the sauce with some you still have left because you were smart enough to buy extra.

P.S. Don't even think about giving the sauce a quick stir. While this may seem to be the easy solution, it’s worse than Debbie’s double dipping.

If you really want to take the bull by the horns, ask Debbie if she can help you in taking the platter out. When you and Debbie get to the kitchen, ask her politely to please not double dip, and explain that by doing so she’s making the shrimp unappetizing for some of the other guests: “Debbie, I'm sure you didn't even know you were doing this, but...” The key is to do this quietly and privately.— From, “Essential Manners for Men,” by Peter Post, 2003

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Respiratory Etiquette Debate

The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. – Photo source, Pinterest 

WASHINGTON, Oct. 18– Just as the nation was moving safely out of the hay-fever season into winter's cold-in-the-head era, the question of the proper etiquette for sneezing arose today and split the ranks of the distinguished scholars who have studied the subject. It seems to be a clear-cut fight, winner take all, between Dr. Severance Burrage, professor of public health at the University of Colorado, on one side, and the United States Government and Mrs. Emily Post on the other. 

FAVORS SNEEZE 

Burrage came out flatly in favor of a good, healthy uninhibited sneeze. He went through a process which we Americans have come to refer to as hurling a defi at the Namby-Pamby persons who seem to stifle sneezes and yawns. The argument runs that as an expression of your personality, there is nothing like a leisurely 80-second yawn, which closes with a contented “ho hum.” Never suppress one; not even when the boss, just back from his vacation, tells you for the third time about the view from his hotel window and how he and the missus got the room for $5 a day dirt cheap, with meals included. But there is another point that Burrage wishes to hammer home:

“Influenza, pneumonia and other diseases often are caused by the contamination of food and utensils by food handlers whose fingers have been placed over the mouths to settle a sneeze or a yawn.” Stop shuddering, Mrs. Post, and just tell the court in your own words why you disagree with the doctor. The witness testifies that sneezes and yawns must be suppressed at any cost or the social fabric of the nation will collapse. The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. To the support of the etiquette experts rushes the United States public health service with a charming little essay on how influenza germs leap from yawn to yawn and from sneeze to sneeze. The author writes lyrically:

ONLY ONE VOICE

“True, I am only one voice, but I lift up that voice like a foghorn on a misty morning to protest against the habit of the tobacco clerks who dampen their fingers on their tongues and then serve a harmless customer with a package of cigarettes.” But the public health service goes even further. Not only does it want to suppress yawns and sneezes, but it wants to do something about kissing too. “The Chinese custom,” the essay continues, “of bowing and shaking one's own hand is far more desirable from a sanitary standpoint.” Begging your pardon, United States public health service, but the comment that comes readily to the mind is: “Kerchoo!” — By Harry Ferguson (United Press Correspondent), 1933

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Sneezing Etiquette

“If you are around other people, then the acceptable thing to do is to sneeze into your arm. More specifically, do it into the inside crook of your elbow or into your bicep. That way, the particles get trapped into your clothing and not ejected into the air.” – photo source, Irish Times.com                

Please Don’t Use Your Hands

The standard American greeting comes with a handshake. We open doors with our hands. We eat with our hands, touch our faces, and share everything from pens to computer keyboards. That's why I'm so grossed out when people sneeze into their hands. This is not just a distant memory from elementary school or an observation while riding on Muni. I've seen it happen all around me on campus: sniffling faces and knuckles dragging across noses. Then there's the inevitable sneeze - a loud and forceful eruption of saliva and mucus droplets - usually followed by a chorus of “bless yous.” Some of us need a refresher on sneezing etiquette. 

First, if you are really sick, stay at home! That way, in the safety of your own abode, you can sneeze any way you want to. You can get creative and do a 360-degree sneeze and not pose a risk of infecting anyone else (unless you have roommates, of course). If you are around other people, then the acceptable thing to do is to sneeze into your arm. More specifically, do it into the inside crook of your elbow or into your bicep. That way, the particles get trapped into your clothing and not ejected into the air. 

I've seen variations of this technique, including sneezing into the inside of your shirt or armpit... whatever acts as a convenient barrier is fine. If you forget and end up sneezing into your hands, that's OK, but don't pretend as if everything you just unleashed into your hands magically disappeared. Wash your hands right away! And if that is not feasible, then use a squeeze of some hand sanitizer. With these quick tips, not only will you help stop the spread of germs, but you'll look classy doing it. –From an article by M. Mandap, Synapse, UCFS, 2011

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia