Gilded Age Tastemaker Displeased

The Southern drawl voiced, velvety smooth talking tastemaker to The 400 in New York City of the Gilded Age, Ward McAllister (brilliantly played by a restrained Nathan Lane) was knocked from his lofty perch by 1889. He was not happy about this fall from the unofficial governing board of the highest level of the social etiquette strata.
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Regarding a ball he was NOT asked to oversee, an angry McAllister reveled in the aftermath: “Even the humble reporter admits to share his enjoyment, and to them paints he the ball in the gloomiest possible colors. Doubtless the ball had its drawbacks, but still it was not quite the orgy that in his scorn he not unaccountably chooses to make it. Doubtless the throng was dense and the supper room much over crowded, and there was excess of wine, both honey-hearted and très sec. Doubtless there is an objection to launching young girls in society, even as ships are sped from the well-greased ways to the water, with the breaking over their bows of foaming bottles of champagne. Doubtless when three thousand men demand all their hats at one moment of three sable and sleepy attendants there must be confusion.”

The Wrath of McAllister

Musing yet once more the destructive wrath of McAllister, not yet appeased nor in the least likely to be so till the committee in general, and Stuyvesant Fish in particular, are covered over with shame and sent into permanent Coventry. Truly revenge is sweet even to leaders of germans, howbeit for that function the much disgusted McAllister now may seem to himself somewhat too old and rheumatic. Nathless, when he departed to sulk in his tent at the capital, he did not wholly forsake the sacred cause of society. Still his address might be had and still he might have been sent for when the intrusive committee had got things into a tangle. Doubtless a swell deputation from Stuyvesant Hamiltonides, calling him back to retrieve the results of presumptuous rashness, would have been kindly received and its message considered with patience. Even the swift-footed telegram might have brought back to the rescue (if properly winged and prepaid by the patient but few-counseled Bowen) him who alone could bring some order out of the chaos.

But the besotted committee did not do any of these things, and the lost leader comes back to amuse himself over their downfall. Even the humble reporter admits to share his enjoyment, and to them paints he the ball in the gloomiest possible colors. Doubtless the ball had its drawbacks, but still it was not quite the orgy that in his scorn he not unaccountably chooses to make it. Doubtless the throng was dense and the supper room much over crowded, and there was excess of wine, both honey-hearted and très sec. Doubtless there is an objection to launching young girls in society, even as ships are sped from the well-greased ways to the water, with the breaking over their bows of foaming bottles of champagne. Doubtless when three thousand men demand all their hats at one moment of three sable and sleepy attendants there must be confusion. If to his plans it is that we owe the success of the banquet, why were his plans for the ball not equally wise and foresighted ? 

While he was losing his rest for the sake of taking sweet counsel with learned and eminent cooks concerning suitable dishes, having especial regard to comparative quickness of service, why did he not put on record his views on the care of the cloak room? If he did so, it is but too plain that a fearful responsibility rests on the rash and wretched committee. Still it is hard to believe that a mind absorbed, like the mind of McAllister, with the abstruser points of deep gastronomical problems could at the same time find room for the consideration of hat checks. As to the famous quadrille, his view is doubtless the right one. When the officials declined the committee should have selected statesmen and sages and bards and men of weight and distinction. Personages like these might have felt very awkward and looked so, but the quadrille would have been much more impressive in history danced by a number of wretched and eminent fish out of water than if en joyed by a number of dapper and well-greaved New-Yorkers.

Now that Peleides has left his tent and come forth to take part in the battle, he engages to give us a ball that will shame the committee. Doubtless the scheme he has formed will result in something more pleasant than the crush that afflicts him still, though it happened last Monday. He may not be able to handle with ease the promiscuous nation, but to cull and arrange the flower of New-York in a ballroom is a part he is fitted to shine in by art and by nature. This fitness it is that makes us renew the suggestion of a place and a title to suit a society leader. The place is St.Thomas's Church, and the title of sexton. though humble, has been borne and exalted by Brown to the McAllisterian function. A sexton has charge of funerals and weddings as well as of balls and of banquets. As a sexton McAllister’s sphere would be widened as well as exalted, with power of revenge on committees and on Stuyvesant Hamiltonides. _The New York Times, May 4, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Alva Vanderbilt’s Triumph

That Mrs. Alva Smith Vanderbilt knows how to exert power has been abundantly proved times without number. It was her genius in this particular regard which directed the famous Vanderbilt fancy-dress ball some thirteen years ago. More money was expended upon that festival of wealth than on any private function in the social history of the land, and it secured for the Vanderbilts an entrance to the smart set which the Astors had long opposed. Mrs. Vanderbilt earned undying fame by that achievement, but it will be pushed far into the shade by the extravagant grandeur of the wedding which will make of her daughter a Duchess. — A newspaper artist’s rendering of Alva Vanderbilt’s New York residence.

Such Magnificence Puts Old Aladdin in the Shade

Mrs. Vanderbilt Will Dazzle Swelldom by the Lavish Display of Wealth She Will Exhibit in Her Mansion

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Young Duchess of Marlborough and Her Jewels

The New York Home Will Be a Wondrous Sight on the Day Miss Consuelo Becomes a Duchess

👑Some of the Art Treasures👑

The Rank She Will Take Among the English Nobility on State Occasions

At the corner of Seventy-Second Street and Madison Avenue there is a plain ordinary looking house of buff brick, with nothing particular about it to attract the attention of the passer-by. To those who know anything abont architecture it would be possible by a violent stretch of their knowledge to perceive a misty resemblance to the Renaissance in its style. There are a thousand other finer homes in the city, but the fact that this particular structure is the New York home of the future Duchess of Marlborough lends a tinge of romance to an otherwise most prosaic place. Plain and almost ugly from the street side, it is rapidly being converted into a veritable fairy palace within. The fin-de siecle synonym of Alladin's lamp is boundless and limitless wealth, and not only one good genie is commanded by it, but scores of the happy fellows.

That Mrs. Alva Smith Vanderbilt knows how to exert this power has been abundantly proved times without number. It was her genius in this particular regard which directed the famous Vanderbilt fancy-dress ball some thirteen years ago. More money was expended upon that festival of wealth than on any private function in the social history of the land, and it secured for the Vanderbilts an entrance to the smart set which the Astors had long opposed. Mrs. Vanderbilt earned undying fame by that achievement, but it will be pushed far into the shade by the extravagant grandeur of the wedding which will make of her daughter a Duchess.

It is too early to go into details, as all the arrangements are still in an embryonic condition, but it is possible to give some idea of the way the house will look when the guests bidden to the wedding reception are enjoying the festivities. The feature of the large drawing rooms on the second floor of the house, forty feet in length and sixty in depth, is the magnificent fresco work on the walls and ceiling. Mrs. Vanderbilt has always been fond of a great deal of color in the ornamentation of her numerous homes, and the mass of richness to be found in those apartments is almost oppressive. But the fact that the ceilings are very high tone which is always formal, the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough come very near to the person of the Queen in processions and at dinners. — Los Angeles Herald, 1895

To be continued…

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette Satire

In faultless attire you will happily find 

Society’s eyes to your real faults blind. 

For etiquette, e'en from antiquity, teaches 

That wits cannot shine in their last seasons breeches

THE SOCIETY MAN 

How can you become a ‘society man.’ 

If poor, you cannot, but if wealthy you can, 

That is, if you care to; for gold is, they say,

The talisman bright which insures an entree 

Into high upper-ten-dom, and if to its charm 

You’ll just add a pedigree long as your arm, 

And strictly abide by the following plan, 

You're bound to become a society man. 

At th’ very first round of the ladder commence, 

Consult the best tailors and, (blank the expense) 

In faultless attire you will happily find 

Society’s eyes to your real faults blind. 

For etiquette, e'en from antiquity, teaches 

That wits cannot shine in their last seasons breeches, 

And th' greatest of humorist’s puns are quite that 

When uttered above an unstylish cravat. 

Let study of self be your solo occupation.

Your faults to correct in attire, conversation, 

Appearance et cetera; dignified ease 

Should temper your movements; your object, to please. 

Not only yourself but the nicest observer. 

From truth you should also become a good swerver, 

Quite ready to flatter with lies when you can 

If you would become a society man. 

If modest, that misery quickly subdue; 

Faint heart never won a fair lady, and you, 

If in the least timid, cannot with propriety, 

Expect the embraces of high-toned society. 

Make love to the maidens, and matrons as well, 

For this is an art in which you should excel; 

But marriage taboo as no part of the plan 

Of a genuine up-up society man. 

Thus, properly scented, and properly curled, 

Assume all the airs of a man of the world. 

And if you are one, bravely deem yourself then 

The equal of other society,

Wherever society’s worshipers throng, 

Let mighty self-confidence help you along; 

However ’twas gained, they may guess it who can, 

Without it you're not a society man. 

                                                –M. A. Stewart, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette and Acceptance

Though incredibly wealthy, the famous Vanderbilt family had not truly been welcomed into New York’s Gilded Age society, and wouldn’t be welcomed unless they were accepted by the ultimate social “judge and jury” of the day, Mrs. Caroline Astor. The Mrs. Astor of the famous list of “400” socially acceptable people... a number based on the limitations of the Astor’s fabulous New York City ballroom, (which was actually a list of merely 319) But, without Astor’s social support, the Vanderbilts were merely the wealthiest “nobodies” in New York society. Soon after the announcement of a forthcoming Vanderbilt ball, but before the formal invitations had been issued, Miss Carrie Astor, took it for granted that, as leaders of society, the Astors would, of course, be invited. Mrs. Vanderbilt heard of this, and told friends that she could not invite Miss Astor to her ball, as her mother “had never called upon her” socially. This reached Mrs. Astor’s ears, and soon after she called upon Mrs. Vanderbilt. She and her daughter were thus invited to the Vanderbilt ball, “making” the Vanderbilts in the process. 

Ball  “Made” Vanderbilts

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Magnificent Entertainment Gained Family Formal Recognition by Recognized New York “Society.”

The Vanderbilts obtained their first secure foothold in New York’s leading society by a great fancy-dress ball given by Mrs. William K. Vanderbilt In her beautiful Fifth Avenue house on the evening of March 26, 1883. It surpassed in splendor, in beauty, in brilliancy, and in luxurious and lavish expense any scene before witnessed in New York. But two or three of the leaders of New York society, notably Mrs. William Astor, had never called upon any of the ladies of the Vanderbilt family. 

According to the generally accepted story, soon after the announcement of the forthcoming ball, but before the formal invitations had been issued, Miss Carrie Astor, the only unmarried daughter of Mrs. William Astor, organized a fancy dress quadrille to be danced at the ball by several young ladies and gentlemen, it being taken for granted by the Astors that, as leaders of society, they would, of course, be invited. Mrs. Vanderbilt heard of this, and stated in the hearing of some friends that she could not invite Miss Astor to her ball, as her mother had never called upon her. 

This reached Mrs. Astor’s ears, and soon after she called upon Mrs. Vanderbilt. She and her daughter were invited to the Vanderbilt ball. Thus did the ball break the last barrier down and the Vanderbilt family was firmly established among New York’s social leaders. –Healdsburg Enterprise, 1923

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia