Of Etiquette, Olives and Sugar Tongs

In the 1600’s, fork and other flatware usage, could show “the difference between a man of the world,” and a man who did not have “the tune of the time.” A sterling combination fork and spoon for serving olives, circa 1880’s, by Gorham. Over the years, forks and combination utensils were only designed for the serving of olives. They were never designed for the eating of olives. 

And the Fork’s Acceptance 
in 17th Century Europe

“It is a piece of refined coarseness to employ the fingers instead of the fork to effect certain operations at the dinner table, and on some other similar occasions. To know how and when to follow the fashion of Eden, and when that of more civilized life, is one of the many points which distinguish a gentleman from one not a gentleman; or rather, in this case, which shows the difference between a man of the world, and one who has not ‘the tune of the time.’ 

Cardinal Richelieu detected an adventurer who passed himself off for a nobleman, by his helping himself to olives with a fork. He might have applied the test to a vast many other things. Yet, on the other hand, a gentleman would lose his reputation, if he were to take up a piece of sugar with his fingers and not with the sugar-tongs.” – The Laws of Etiquette; or, Short Rules and Reflections for Conduct in Society, 1836 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dressing Etiquette at Versailles

Another Valet of the Wardrobe brought a clean shirt, but he had no right to hand it to the persons who were to put it on the King. The honor of handing the clean shirt to those persona was reserved to the sons and daughters of France, or, in their absence, to the Princes of the Blood or those legitimatized, or in default of these, to the Grand Chamberlain or the First Gentleman of the Bedchamber.

A hundred years ago, the Court of France was ruled by an etiquette so pompous and ceremonious as to make the King’s life a burden to himself and a jest to a philosopher. He was never alone, except at rare intervals. The eyes of forty or fifty persons saw him dress and undress, and the operation of putting on his shirt was something fearful. The Grand Master of the Wardrobe drew off the King’s nightshirt by the right arm, and the First Valet of the Wardrobe by the left arm, and both of them united in handing the nightshirt to an officer of the wardrobe. Another Valet of the Wardrobe brought a clean shirt, but he had no right to hand it to the persons who were to put it on the King. The honor of handing the clean shirt to those persona was reserved to the sons and daughters of France, or, in their absence, to the Princes of the Blood or those legitimatized, or in default of these, to the Grand Chamberlain or the First Gentleman of the Bedchamber. The shirt having been regularly and formally delivered, the First Valet of the Wardrobe and the First Valet de Chambre held up the garment by the right and left sleeves respectively, while two other valets extended a dressing gown in front of the King to serve as a screen. Behind this screen, his Majesty at last got the shirt on his back. Every day, immediately after being dressed, the King said his prayers. And it is to be hoped that he never failed to offer up a devout thanksgiving for having passed safely through the awful process of putting on his shirt, and that the coming man, would be able to make for the coming King, shirts that could be put on with more ease and less ceremony. – The Morning Union, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Versailles Queen's Etiquette

Maria Theresa of Spain's marriage in 1660 with King Louis XIV, was arranged with the purpose of ending the long-standing war between Spain and France. Famed for her virtue and piety, she sadly saw 5 of her 6 children die in early childhood. She is frequently regarded as an object of pity in historical accounts of her husband's reign. She had no choice, but to tolerate his many, many love affairs, and the rigid rules of etiquette at Versailles.

The bride of Louis XIV, having been thrown from her horse was dragged some distance before any Knight would risk his own life to save her, it being high treason to touch her ; and even after two, young Lords had devoted themselves, the Queen was obliged to entreat their pardon on her knees, in order to obviate the awful consequences of their generous act. — Daily Alta, 1855

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

French Court Etiquette Intervened

Henriette as Minerva holding a painting of her husband, Philippe de France

Incidents in the Lives of World-Famous Women —

How the Princess Henriette of England Just Missed Being Queen of France

Among the fair women who made the Court of Louis XIV famous for brilliancy and beauty, there were none lovelier than Henriette, Duchess d’Orleane. She was the daughter of Charles I of England and Henrietta Maria, and the wife of Philllppe, “the little Monsieur,” the King’s brother. 

When misfortune descended upon the royal House of Stuart the Princess Henriette was smuggled into France disguised as a vagabond in a ragged suit of boy’s clothes. She was restored to her mother, and although the exiled Queen was supremely happy to have her little daughter safe under her care, she was often driven to despair by tbeir extreme poverty. The little girl was many times forced to spend the day in bed because there was no fuel to burn. 

Anne of Austria, the Queen-Mother, supplied the English exiles with clothes and money, and, later on, invited them to the French Court. As the little Henriette approached young woman-hood she gave promise of becoming very beautiful. She is described in the following words by a contemporary: "Her air is as noble as her birth. Her hair is of a bright chestnut hue, and her complexion rivals that of the gayest flowers. The snowy whiteness of her skin betrays the lines from which she sprang. Her eyes are blue and brilliant, her lips ruddy, her throat beautiful, her arms and hands well made- Her charms show that she was born on a throne and is destined to return there.” 

She made her first public appearance at a ball given by Anne of Austria at the Louvre. When the gentlemen chose their partners for the opening dance the handsome young Louis of France offered his hand to the Princess of Mercoeur. The Queen-Mother sternly rebuked him for this breach of etiquette, saying: “You must dance first with the Princess Henriette of England.’’ Queen Henrietta Maria saw that the King was not pleased with this interference, and sought to mend matters by answering: "My daughter has hurt her foot and therefore cannot dance.” 

But Anne of Austria was determined that her son should obey the laws of Court etiquette and insisted. “Then Henriette and Louis shall sit out the dance together.” From that moment Louis formed a dislike for his cousin, blasting the fond hopes of the two Queens that he would ask Henriette to share his throne. Later that evening one of the Courtiers remarked upon the charms of the young English Princess. “I do not like little girls. She is much too thin,” was Louis’ reply. 

Though Louis was blind to the beauty of Henriette, his brother. Monsieur, was not. The young dandy determined that he would like to marry and have a Court of his own. The Duke made known his desire to the King, who laughed heartily and said; “You shall wed the Princess of England, for no one else wants her.”

Philippe was well pleased at this promise, and hastened to plead his cause with Henrietta Maria. He fell genuinely in love with his lovely cousin, and having gained the consent of her brother, Charles II, the wedding was celebrated at the Palais Royal without further delay. The young Duchess immediately became the central figure of gay Court life. She captivated all who approached her. “Never was there a Princess so fascinating,” the Abbe de Colsy has written. “Her whole person seemed full of charm. You feel interested in her, you love her without being able to help yourself.” 

Even King Louis fell beneath the spell of her beauty and charm. His sister-in-law became one of his dearest friends. He regretted the days when he had failed to recognize her charms and was all the more attentive because of his previous neglect. Had Louis' anger at having to sit out a dance with the Princess of England not blinded him to the beauty and charm of Henriette she might have been his Queen instead of Marie Therese. — By Eloise Farrington for the Los Angeles Herald, 1917

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Louis XVIII – Stickler for Etiquette

Louis XVIII, known as “The Desired” (le Désiré), was a Monarch of the House of Bourbon who ruled as King of France from 1814 to 1824. He spent 23 years in exile, from 1791 to 1814, during the French Revolution and the First French Empire, and then again in 1815, during the period known as “the Hundred Days” upon Napoleon I’s return from Elba.

How a Bright Answer Banished a King’s Anger 

ONE of the problems that sorely perplexes those who employ spies is whether or not some particular spy is not selling to the enemy as much information as he gives his employer. When Louis XVIII returned to France after his exile he appointed as his minister of police, Fouche, who had served under his enemies. During a private conversation with Fouche, Louis asked him to be frank. “Tell me.” Louis said, “who was the spy who did you the best service when your men were watching me?” Fouche tried to evade replying, but was compelled to answer. “Well sire, if you insist on knowing, it was the Duc de Blacas.” “How much did he get for the job?” the King smiled. “Two hundred thousand francs a year, sire.” “Ah!” the King cried with satisfaction. “That was the sum. He didn't cheat me. We went halves!” 

Stickler for Etiquette 

However free and easy Louis was as an exile, he was most punctilious in his demand that the Court etiquette be observed when he ascended the throne. One of Louis' ministers was M. de Corbiere. During a heated discussion one day, Corbiere, having his handkerchief and snuff box in his hand, unconsciously placed them on the King's table beside which he was sitting. The King seemed thunderstruck, and “looked daggers” at the offender. But Corbiere was an honest, simple Breton, who was not easily awakened to what he had done. Ignorant of the niceties of Court etiquette, he really didn’t know he had done anything very wrong. He was brought to a sense of something wrong by the furtive glances and expressive gestures of another of the men sitting nearby. Without haste, and with quiet gesture, Corbiere removed the offending handkerchief and snuff box from the King's table, remarking as he did so: “Sire, it would be very much better if you always had ministers who empty their pockets instead of those who fill them.” In his exile Louis had learned many things. One of these was to permit his spirit of fellowship full play. This witty apology pleased him, so he permitted his love of etiquette to vanish in a laugh that pardoned Corbiere.  – By Mark Stuyvesant, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Fateful Breach of Etiquette

Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve was a literary critic of French literature, but evidently not a student of Tuileries' exacting etiquette.

Under the French Third Republic, Charles Augustin Sainte–Beuve brought disgrace upon himself because at breakfast at the Tuileries, he carelessly opened his napkin and placed it over his two knees. To this, he added the crime of cutting his egg in two, at the middle.

Court etiquette prescribed that the half-folded napkin should be on the left knee, and the top of the egg was to be merely broken with the edge of the spoon and drained with the tip of the spoon. For his failings in these respects, Sainte–Beuve's name was struck off the Imperial visiting list. — London Chronicle, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

More Etiquette of Snuff

A nobleman with his fingers in his snuff box — Snuff is powdered tobacco, usually blended with aromatic herbs or spices. The habit of snuff-taking spread to China from the West during the 17th century and became established in the 18th century. People generally carried snuff in a small bottle. By the 20th century these bottles had become collectors' items, owing to the great variety of materials, precious stones, rock crystal, etc.... and decorative techniques used in their production.

More Snuff Etiquette

Traditionally gentlemen should never take snuff when ladies are present. However if you are in a situation where modern interaction would usually allow both sexes to smoke, for example a public house, then it is acceptable. 

Formal etiquette dictates that women abstain from tobacco until at least fifty years of age. (Wife of King George III, "Snuffy Charlotte," could have avoided that nick-name, had she heeded this advice).

The best of the Viennese tradition of gold box-making is shown in this superbly enameled snuff box, which forms part of a set. Catering for the necessities of elegant life, it comprises an étui or small case with a knife, snuff spoon, toothpick and ear pick, watch and châtelaine (from which one's watch hung) and a matching snuff-box. 

Snuff-boxes should be chosen for each varying occasion. For a formal event, a silver, ivory or mother-of-pearl snuff-box, is appropriate. A brass or teak snuff-box is much more appropriate for watching rugby, or 'rugger.' Pewter should not be used, as the metal is too soft, and a leather or cloth snuff-pouch is not considered suitable, because the snuff will often become too moist.

Take the snuff-box from your pocket and pass it into your left hand. Your inner left jacket pocket should be used to store all tobacco products.

Tap the snuff-box with your middle and fore-finger, so that the powdered tobacco gathers at one side. This will also alert your acquaintances that snuff is about to be passed around.              

Open the snuff-box and inspect the contents. Check that the tobacco is not damp and that it is finely powdered. If one finds it is unusable, or if there is insufficient snuff to provide for the group, there is no shame in returning the snuff-box to one's pocket at this point.


If one finds there is enough snuff for the present company, the proper etiquette is to present the snuff-box with a courteous bow. 

The snuff-box travels in a clockwise manner, (the opposite of food at a table) and should only be held in the left hand. It is very reminiscent of the way port is passed.

Receive the snuff-box back with the left hand.          

Above– A selection of Chinese snuff holders. French Emporer Napoleon was once given a fragile mother-of-pearl snuff-box by Empress Josephine. When it broke through his overuse, Napoleon was distraught until Josephine presented him with another.     

Gather the snuff by striking the side with the middle and forefinger. Take a pinch with the right hand, between the thumb and fore-finger. Hold the snuff for a second or two between the fingers before taking. This not only allows sufficient time to pass the snuff-box forward without keeping people waiting, but also displays that you are not greedy, nor are you hoarding the snuff-box.

Carry the pinch to the nose. Never lean towards your hand. If anything snuff should be taken with your head tilted slightly backwards. 

A fashionable, mustachioed gent's snuff holder ··· "Edward Wortley Montagu, the eccentric son of Lady Mary, is said to have possessed more snuff- boxes than would suffice a Chinese idol with a hundred noses— a collection which, perhaps, was never equaled, unless by that of King George IV, who was not less extravagant and recherche in snuff and snuff-boxes than in other things."— San Francisco Call, 1896

Snuff can also be taken from an indentation formed at the base of the thumb. If you place your hand flat on the table with your fingers spread. Then as you raise the thumb this will reveal what is known as 'The Anatomical Snuff-box' or what is sometimes known colloquially as 'The Poorman's Snuff-box.' This method is not recommended because the valuable snuff is far more likely to spill. 

One should attempt to snuff with precision by both nostrils and without grimaces or distortion of the features.                     

Above- An ornate, wooden snuff-box, in the shape of a boot. – According to Betty Boyd Caroli, Dolly Madison, the wife of US President James Madison, used snuff. Caroli writes, "Stained fingers left little doubt that she used snuff, not an acceptable habit for 19th C. ladies, but one that was excused in her." One woman supposedly mused that in Mrs. Madison's hands, "... the snuff-box seems only a gracious implement with which to charm" according to the author. It is also said that Mrs. Madison requested a closed casket at her funeral, as snuff-taking had falllen out of vogue for women and she did not want anyone to see her stained fingers. 

A very important point of differentiation between the etiquette of British and European snuff-takers, is that in European countries it is acceptable to let out a large sneeze after taking snuff. However, in Britain, doing so is considered quite rude. 

It is also very important that you sniff but do not snort. The snuff should not enter deeply into the sinuses. (Contrary to this advice in 1820 the "double barreled snuff pistol" was invented; it was capable of packing a day's worth of snuff into the nose using an explosive charge. This kind of behavior would be considered vulgar by anyone's standards.)          

"PARDON MY SNEEZE! —Dating from days when it was customary for gentlemen to take snuff, the two delicately, colored snuff-boxes at the entrance to the Senate chamber in Washington are kept filled while the Senate is in session. Here is Dick Oyster, in charge of stationery, filling them. Originally placed to prevent head colds, the snuff is still used liberally by the solons." — The Madera Tribune, 1937

Close your snuff-box with a flourish. Then, return it to your jacket pocket.

Always wipe your nose and collar with a handkerchief. Specialist handkerchiefs are available for this purpose. Usually found to be colorful, patterned and silken, they are made to be thrown away, as they will rapidly become soiled and a dark brown, whenever the nose runs.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Snuff

Offering a pinch of snuff —Throughout the 17th Century, the use of snuff was growing in Europe, however it was Louis XV of France who banned the use of snuff from the French Court, during his reign.

On Snuff Etiquette 

The art of snuff taking has historically had a variety of etiquette rules and hidden references of significance in one's social status. There has been wide use amongst noblemen and the common man alike, but the more elegant the manner in which snuff was stored and taken, the higher the social status of the snuffer. 

The French historian Henri d'Allemagne aptly describes this: “To take snuff, people of noble birth were meant to tap on the lid, take a few grains with the tip of their slender fingers, to make a slight gesture and to inhale the powder with ecstasy. 

On the contrary, the countryman digged his thumb and forefinger inside the snuff box in order to take out a large pinch of tobacco, putting it on the back of his left hand and snorted it in a noisy way while rubbing his nose.”          

According to the book, “Drugs in Society,” snuffing first became fashionable in the court of France during King Louis XIII’s reign, though he actually would not permit it in his presence.  It was considered daintier and more elegant than inhaling smoke.

“As snuff-taking is merely an idle, dirty habit, practised by stupid people in the unavailing endeavor to clear their stolid intellect, and is not a custom particularly offensive to their neighbors, it may be left to each individual taste as to whether it be continued or not. An ‘Elegant’ cannot take much snuff without decidedly  ‘losing caste.’ 

‘Doctor,’ said an old gentleman, who was an inveterate snuff-taker, to a physician, ‘is it true that snuff destroys the olfactory nerves, clogs, and otherwise injures the brain?’ ‘It cannot be true,’ was the caustic reply, ‘since those who have any brains never take snuff at all.’” — George Stewart Rippey, 1895   

“Snuffing, hawking and expectorating must never be done in society.”– John H. Young, 1881 

“Never refuse with disdain a pinch of snuff, and rather than disoblige people, take one, even if you throw it away, after having pretended to take it. Beware of presenting to ladies, in balls or assemblies, a box of sweet things, under penalty of having the air of a caricature.” –Elisabeth Celnart, 1833 

“Never take the chair usually occupied by the lady or gentleman of the house, even though they be absent, nor use the snuff-box of another, unless he offers it.” –Arthur Martine, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and a French Empress

The Empress loves to amuse herself, and is no doubt often weary enough of the etiquette of the Court, probably thought that her going there would be a diversion.

Rude and Ruder?
An Anecdote of the French Empress

A story with regard to the Empress's visit to one of the minor theatres, is going lhe rounds, according to which her Majesty recently went to the Ambigu-Comique, unexpected, and attended only by one of her ladies. The theatre in question is quite without the pale of the beau monde and is in fact attended by rather a rowdy set of customers. 

The Empress, who dearly loves to amuse herself, and who is no doubt often weary enough of the etiquette of the Court, probably thought that her going there would not only be a diversion for herself, but would also be considered as a compliment by the "small folk" who frequent this theatre. 

But it appears that the "small folk" thought otherwise, and were not at all pleased at so unceremonious an intrusion into their haunts ; and accordingly, when the Empress and her attendant entered their box the whole pit struck up in chorus, "Cordieu! Madame, what are you come to do here?" (being a verse in a song out of a comic play called "The Sieur de Franiboisy" which has been the rage here for some time past, and which all the gamins in Paris have been singing till the rest of the world are sick of it.) 

Whereupon her Majesty, horrified and disconcerted at such a reception, beat an instantaneous retreat, and disappeared, followed by her attendant, without having even taken her seat. 

For the correctness of this story, however, I would not undertake to vouch ; all I can say is that I have it from a respectable young man who declares that he was present on the occasion, and joined in the song.— Paris Correspondence, 1856

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

French Court Etiquette and Romance

Her air is as noble as her birth. Her hair is of a bright chestnut hue, and her complexion rivals that of the gayest flowers. The snowy whiteness of her skin betrays the lines from which she sprang. 

Incidents in the Lives of World-Famous Women

How the Princess Henriette of England Just Missed Being Queen of France

Among the fair women who made the court of Louis XIV famous for brilliancy and beauty, there were none lovelier than Henriette, Duchess d’Orleane. She was the daughter of Charles I of England and Henrietta Maria, and the wife of Philllppe, “the little Monsieur,” the King’s brother. 

When misfortune descended upon the royal house of Stuart the Princess Henriette was smuggled into France disguised as a vagabond in a ragged suit of boy’s clothes. She was restored to her mother, and although the exiled Queen was supremely happy to have her little daughter safe under her care, she was often driven to despair by their extreme poverty. The little girl was many times forced to spend the day in bed because there was no fuel to burn. 

Anne of Austria, the Queen-mother, supplied the English exiles with clothes and money, and, later on, invited them to the French court. As the little Henriette approached young womanhood she gave promise of becoming very beautiful. 

She is described in the following words by a contemporary: “Her air is as noble as her birth. Her hair is of a bright chestnut hue, and her complexion rivals that of the gayest flowers. The snowy whiteness of her skin betrays the lines from which she sprang. Her eyes are blue and brilliant, her lips ruddy, her throat beautiful, her arms and hands well made. Her charms show that she was born on a throne and is destined to return there.” 

She made her first public appearance at a ball given by Anne of Austria at the Louvre. When the gentlemen chose their partners for the opening dance the handsome young Louis of France offered his hand to the Princess of Mercoeur. The Queen-mother sternly rebuked him for this breach of etiquette, saying, “You must dance first with the Princess Henriette of England.’’ Queen Henrietta Maria saw that the King was not pleased with this interference, and sought to mend matters by answering: “My daughter has hurt her foot and therefore cannot dance.” 

But Anne of Austria was determined that her son should obey the laws of Court etiquette and insisted. “Then Henriette and Louis shall sit out the dance together.” From that moment Louis formed a dislike for his cousin, blasting the fond hopes of the two Queens that he would ask Henriette to share his throne. — By Eloise Farrington, March 1917

👑Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Etiquette Problem at Versailles

“Reception of Condé in Versailles”— Depiction of the great Escalier des Ambassadeurs, in Versailles of 1674, when Louis XIV welcomed the Grand Condé, who has just defeated William of Orange in the battle of Seneffe. This event marked the end of almost fifteen years of exile for the Grand Condé, which had been designed by the king to punish “his cousin” for leading the Fronde against the monarchy.

Painfully Ill from the Etiquette at Versailles?

“The royal court of France used to be a great place for etiquette. Louis XIV once caught a severe cold owing to the fact that on his arising from his bed one cold morning, the lord of the chamber, whose duty it was to hand him his shirt, happened to be absent. Not one of the numerous courtiers present had the courage to transgress etiquette by handing the garment to the shivering monarch.” —London Scrap Book, 1908

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Louis XIV's Morning Etiquette

“The Duke of Saint-Simon, who kept the memorials of Versailles, wrote of Louis XIV: With an almanac and a watch, you could be three hundred leagues from here and say what he was doing. The King’s day was timed down to the last minute so that the officers in the service of the Monarch could plan their work as accurately as possible.” – From www.chateau versailles.fr

The following was just part an ordinary morning of the Monarch, Louis XIV of France, day after day, and year after year, in the Palace of Versailles:

At 8 o'clock in the morning to servants carefully entered the chamber of the King. One, if the weather was cold or damp, brought dry wood to kindle a cheerful blaze upon the hearth, while the other opened the shutters, carried away the collection of soup, roasted chicken, bread, wine and water, which had been placed, the night before, at the side of the royal couch, that the King might find a repast at hand in case he might require refreshment during the night. The valet de chambre then entered and stood silently and reverently at the bed-side for one-half hour. He then awoke the monarch, and immediately passed into an ante-room to communicate the importance intelligence that the King no longer slept. 

Upon receiving this announcement an attendant threw open the double portals of a wide door, when the dauphin and his two sons, the brother of the King, and the Duke of Chartres, who awaited the signal, entered, and approaching the bed with the utmost solemnity of etiquette, inquired how his Majesty had passed the night. After the interval of the moment the Duke Du Maine, the Count De Toulouse, the first lord of the bed-chamber, and the grand master of the robes enter the apartment, and with military precision took their station by the side of the couch of recumbent royalty. Immediately there followed another procession of officers bearing the regal vestments. Fagon, the head physician and Telier, the head surgeon, completed the train.

The head valet de chambre then poured upon the hands of the King a few drops of the spirits of wine, holding beneath him a plate of enameled silver, and the first lord of the bed-chamber presented the monarch, who was very punctilious in his devotions, the holy water, with which the King made the sign of the cross upon his head and his breast. Thus purified and sanctified he repeated a short prayer, which the Church had taught him, and then rose in his bed. A noble lord then approached and presented to him a collection of wigs from which he selected the one which he intended to wear that day, and having condescended to place it, with his own royal hands, upon his head, he slipped his arms into the sleeves of a rich dressing-gown, which the head valet de chambre held ready for him. 

Then reclining again upon his pillow, he thrust one foot out from the bed-clothes. The valet de chambre reverently received the sacred extremity, and drew over it a silk stocking. The other limb was similarly presented and dressed, when slippers of embroidered velvet were placed upon the royal feet. The King then devoutly crossing himself with holy water, with great dignity moved from his bed and seated himself in a large arm-chair, placed at the fire-side. The King then announced that he was prepared to receive the First Entrée. None but especial favorites of the monarch were favored with an audience so confidential. These privileged persons were to enjoy the ecstatic happiness of witnessing the awful ceremony of shaving the King. One attendant prepared the water and held the basin. Another lathered the royal chin, and removed the sacred beard, and with soft sponges, saturated with wine and water, washed the parts which had been operated upon and smoothed with silken towels.

And now the master of the robes approaches to dress the King. At the same moment the monarch announces that he is ready for his Grand Entrée. The principal attendants of royalty, accompanied by several valets de chambre and door-keepers of the cabinet, immediately take their station at the entrance of the apartment. Princes often sighed in vain for an admission to the Grand Entrée. The greatest precautions were observed that no unprivileged person should intrude. As each individual presented himself at the door, his name was whispered to the first lord of the bed-chamber, who repeated it to the King. If the monarch made no reply the visitor was admitted. The Duke in attendance marshalled the newcomers to their several places, that they might not approach too near the presence of his Majesty. 

Princes of the highest rank, and statesmen of the most exalted stations were subjected alike to these humiliating ceremonials. The King, the meanwhile, regardless of his guests, was occupied in being dressed. A valet of the wardrobe delivered to a gentleman of the chamber the garters, which in turn he presented to the monarch. Inexorable etiquette would allow the King to clasp his garters in the morning, but not to unclasp them at night. It was the exclusive privilege of the head valet de chambre to unclasp that of the right leg, while an attendant of inferior rank might remove the other. One attendant put on the shoes, and fastened the diamond buckles. Two pages, gorgeously dressed in crimson velvet, overlaid with gold and silver lace, received the slippers as they were taken from the King's feet. –New York Times, 1852

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

On fashion – It's “a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reverence for the person or persons imitated.”

“Of course, fashion is largely imitative. There are two distinct reasons for imitation in matters of dress. The first is a desire to be like everyone else, to avoid being thought strange or queer by one's fellows. The second is a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reference for the person or persons imitated.

“A story is told of the Duke Philip of Burgundy who, in 1461, suffered a severe illness during which his hair was completely shorn. More than five hundred nobles of the time sacrificed their hair that the Duke might not feel conspicuous. What was the necessity with the Duke became a fashion among the nobles.

“We are told that in 1775, the Queen, Marie Antoinette of France, adopted a chestnut brown colour for her gown. This color pleased the King and it is written that every lady in court had on a dress of that colour the following day. There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.”          

Marie Antoinette's image graces a square handkerchief– There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.

“Many fashions were created by law. There is, for instance, a distinct order for edict concerning the shape of pocket handkerchiefs. It is dated June 2, 1785, and was issued by Louis XVI, supposedly at the request of Marie Antoinette. Up to her time, it would appear, handkerchiefs had been of all sizes and shapes. Some had been oblong, some around, some triangular, some square. The Queen believed that if the square form only were used the handkerchief would be very much more convenient. Consequently it was decreed, that, "The length of handkerchief shall equal their width, throughout my entire kingdom." Handkerchiefs have remained square since that day, and what the edict in 1785 made the fashion then, is still the fashion with us.” —From Lillian Eichler's, “The Customs of Mankind”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette helping the blind –“The King and Queen were patrons of the Maison Philanthropique, a society which helped the aged, blind and widows. The Queen taught her daughter Madame Royale to wait upon peasant children, to sacrifice her Christmas gifts so as to buy fuel and blankets for the destitute, and to bring baskets of food to the sick. Marie-Antoinette started a home for unwed mothers at the Royal Palace. She adopted three poor children to be raised with her own, as well overseeing the upbringing of several needy children, whose education she paid for, while caring for their families. She brought several peasant families to live on her farm at Trianon, building cottages for them. There was food for the hungry distributed every day at Versailles, at the King’s command.” 
–From MarieAntoinette.org

“Marie Antoinette is one of the most written-about women in history—and for the best writing reasons. Her story combines two unfailing narrative ingredients: a fairy tale flashing with all the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers, a horror story of human cruelty and blood. The combination is so compelling that the life of the lovely Austrian Princess who lived an infuriatingly frivolous life and died an endearingly brave death can be told and retold with remarkably little attention to the social upheaval that doomed her.” —From “Beautiful and Doomed,” Andre Castelot

All the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers – Depiction of Marie Antoinette in bed, from the 2006 film Marie Antoinette

“Her first desire was to purify the Court where licentiousness in either sex had long been the surest road to Royal favor. She began by making a regulation, that she would receive no lady who was separated from her husband; and she abolished a senseless and inexplicable rule of etiquette which had hitherto prohibited the Queen and Princesses from dining or supping in company with their husbands. Such an exclusion from the King’s table of those who were its most natural and becoming ornaments, had notoriously facilitated and augmented the disorders of the last reign; and it was obvious that its maintenance must at least have a tendency to lead to a repetition of the old irregularities. Fortunately, the King was as little inclined to approve of it as the Queen. All his tastes were domestic, and he gladly assented to her proposal to abolish the custom. 

“Throughout the reign, at all ordinary meals, at his suppers when he came in late from hunting, when he had perhaps invited some of his fellow-sportsmen to share his repast, and at State banquets, Marie Antoinette took her seat at his side, not only adding grace and liveliness to the entertainment, but effectually preventing license, and even the suspicion of scandal; and, as she desired that her household as well as her family should set an example of regularity and propriety to the nation, she exercised a careful superintendence over the behavior of those who had hitherto been among the least-considered members of the Royal establishment.” —From MarieAntoinnette.org 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Social Custom

The only exception to the old and present day rule is in the case of husband and wife. In such cases the husband gives his left arm to his wife. The origin of this is to show the domination of man over woman. 

"It's a Matter of Etiquette"

Should a man offer the right or left arm to a woman?  In social circles just now there is going on quite a discussion regarding this question.  To one’s wife, one gives the left arm.  To all other women, the right arm.  It is now being urged that the social custom be changed, and that man be considered quite correct should he offer his left arm to all women.  This question of etiquette, like so many others, originated in France centuries ago.


Shakespeare writes of a man “as polite as a French courtier." The "grand Maitres de maintien" decreed some ages ago that a man must give his right arm to members of the fair sex because one always places on the right hand those whom one wishes to honor.  French gallants, just like the American men of today, held the daughters of Eve in high honor.  At a ball when inviting a woman to dance you must give her the right arm, and after the dance, in promenading, you do not change the arm. It is the same rule at all functions, or even when walking in the street.


The only exception to the old and present day rule is in the case of husband and wife.  In such cases the husband gives his left arm to his wife.  The origin of this is to show the domination of man over woman.  It is now being urged that the right be dethroned in favor of the universal use of the left.  The argument is that in such case the man has the use of his good right arm for the defense of his fair companion, and to assist her the better if slipping or falling.  The coming season ought to definitely settle the question. –Sacramento Union, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette at Versailles ~A Victorian View

Men's high heeled shoes, tights and garters, all helped to show off their muscular calves which was very fashionable for the day ~ Louis XIV, also known as the "Sun King", (reigning from 1643–1715, one of the longest reigning monarchs in history), decreed, among other oddities, that only nobility could wear heels that were coloured red, and that no one’s heels could be higher than his own.

A Victorian Era Take on the French Royal Court: In the First Quarter of the 18th Century

The tension of the struggle which the previous century had witnessed was withdrawn, and society sprang back with the recoil to a light-hearted gayety, unlike our national earnestness.

The nation took its ease from grave pursuits. Life retained a little of the adventurous. Men had wealth to gratify and leisure to cultivate new tastes; they acquired literary reputations as amateurs or critics. The club and coffee house, the newspaper, the bookseller and publisher, proclaimed the rise of an idle class and a reading public, and heralded the time when plebeian genius no longer needed a patrician Maecenas.

Moral and metaphysical inquiry was the chief stimulus to thought, as faction was to energy. A new premium was set on the acts of society when women became a power, and when the difference between the tie-wig and the full-bottom or the upset of a teacup was fraught with the fate of an empire. The romance of life was concentrated on the pursuit of gallantry.

At Versailles, artificial manners and strict etiquette were combined with loose conduct.

Pope was never more truly the mirror of his own times than when he threw all the passion of which he was capable into the love epistle of Eloisa. Moral refinement fell hopelessly behind advancing civilization. As at Versailles, artificial manners and strict etiquette were combined with loose conduct. It was not 'til decorum was outraged that the moral law was considered. Unless misconduct sinned against taste it was hardly regarded as an offense but at Versailles vice was draped with all the grace and painted with every allurement which civilization could supply.

At St. James's she was sufficiently brazen to move without a blush for her nakedness, and society imitated the coarseness of the Court. Over the social and political memoirs of the day is shed the charm of that class of French literature; there is the same incongruous juxtaposition of serious and gay, politics and scandal, combined with something of the same neatness and finish of mind that touches lightly the light things of society, and something of the same sprightly wit and sparkling epigrams to temper the despotism of the Whig aristocracy. 

                                    

The Dog Barber~ For sport hunting, specially designed enclosures for accomodating dogs (according to the type of game they hunted), kennels at Chantilly also housed not only all of the various valets needed, but a bakery too.

Poetry shared in the same lack of enthusiasm. It was the poetical age of reason. It was still the fashion for men of letters to appear before the public in verse, but prose was usurping the place of poetry. Artistic elegance and scholarly form replaced the varied fancy, the exuberant imagination of the older English school. Poetry subsided into an argumentative, didactic, useful character. It grew classical and courtly, embellished familiar objects and every-day events. But it ceased to be "intellectual opium eating." It was kept in touch with all the movements of the day, scientific, political, religious, social.

And this picture of contemporary life was not conveyed through any literary medium. The generation which placed Roman heroes on the stage in perruques and buckles, or adorned the hand that wrote upon the wall at Belshazzar's feast with ring and ruffle, did not seek the disguise of classical or mediaeval costume. Its active interests were represented in a simple straightforward style in the ordinary dress of the day. The sublimity and greatness of poetry disappeared, but it was instinct with natural life. 

The Edinburgh Review, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Efitor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Run Mad in Royal Courts

“This is ridiculous!” Kirsten Dunst as a young, Marie Antoinette

 “Etiquette Run Mad,” 1879

We, in this easy mannered republic, can have a little conception of the tyranny which etiquette has exercised in all the great courts of the world, and the imposing part it has played in the adjustment of grave national questions. Here, all our citizen kings can attend a reception at the White House without invitation, and with no forms of courtesy beyond those of ordinary good breeding. We feel only a sense of the ludicrous when we read of the fume and passion into which courtiers used to fall when offered a stool instead of a chair, in some royal drawing-room; placed at a feast opposite the carver, or below one whom they assumed to outrank.

Etiquette must not be violated, though the heavens fall...

During the reign of Louis XIV, while a tremendous war was raging between France and Spain, the grand monarch and his favorite courtiers where amusing themselves with fétes and balls among the marvelous groves, lakes, and fountains of Marly. One morning, the Duke of Villeroy, hot and dusty, came spurring to court with army dispatches. News of a decisive battle was hourly expected, and everybody awaited the opening of the papers with feverish impatience. But, unhappily, the minister whose duty it was to break the seal and present them to the king, was absent for the day. They might contain news of the defeat, of instant necessities, and changed instructions, but no matter, etiquette must not be violated though the heavens fall, and the haughty Louis, though dying with anxious suspense, went on with his childish masquerading with serenest countenance. The courtier was obliged to skulk out of sight and affect not to exist till the return of the proper functionary, when he suddenly resumed himself and presented his dispatch is, as if he had just that moment arrived.

“Madame... THIS is Versailles.” Judy Davis as “Madame Etiquette”

When Marie Antoinette, that charming, though somewhat volatile young princess, came over from simple-mannered Vienna to be the bride of the dauphin, she chafed much under the tedium of French etiquette. Her daily toilet was an affair of the most elaborate ceremony. Had she ventured to wash her own face or clasp her shoe-buckles, the whole court would have stood aghast with horror. Here is an example, one of many, showing how cruelly the rich free life of the young princess was tortured and pressed into the iron mould of court ceremonial. On one occasion, a lady in waiting was about lifting the Royal chemise over the royal shoulders, when the door opened and a second lady, superior in rank, entered. So the uplifted garment had to pause in mid air till number two could take it, and this happened thrice before the shivering young creature could be got into her clothes!

Prince Charles and Henrietta of France

Earlier in the century, when England sent to arrange a marriage between Prince Charles and Henrietta of France, everything came to a halt on the mighty question, whether His Eminence, Cardinal Richelieu, should give his right hand to the embassadors, and how many steps he should advance in conducting them out of the room. A messenger was about to be dispatched to consult the king of England in this grave difficulty when it fortunately occurred to somebody that if the cardinal would receive in bed, etiquette would be suspended. Accordingly, he feigned sickness, went to bed, and without further diplomacy the marriage settlements were made.

Few things in the records of the olden centuries are more amusing than those which relate the entanglements of court ceremonial.

From Demorest's Family Magazine 1879

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia