The Etiquette of Dinner Service Styles

Butler Service or Service à la Française (“French Service”) a diner helps himself from a serving plate held by the waiter or the butler. Traditionally, this type of service was used on Sunday evenings, when the wait staff had the evening off and the butler helped serve the dinner.

A 2nd Debut Article from 2019

Silver Service (in British English) or Service à l’Anglaise (French for “English Service”) is a method of serving food that normally will include serving food at the table. It is a method of transferring food from the service dish to a guest's plate from the left. It is performed by a waiter by using service forks and spoons from a diner’s left hand side.

Butler Service or Service à la Française (“French Service”) a diner helps himself from a serving plate held by the waiter or the butler. Traditionally, this type of service was used on Sunday evenings, when the wait staff had the evening off and the butler helped serve the dinner.

Russian Service or Service à la Russe, is at once the simplest and most elegant manner when guests are present, as it is only necessary to pass the dishes of each course in rotation, beginning alternately at the right and the left of the guest.

Buffet Service is when the food is placed and displayed on a separate table or sideboard, in a public area, from which diners help serve themselves to the food, before being seated at a dining table to eat. “Buffet Service” comes from the least humble of beginnings in 18th century Europe, when chefs and confectioners wanted to impress those coming to balls and parties in grand homes, upon their arrival. Foods designed to impress were laid out for guests to feast their eyes on, prior to dining. 

Family Service dining, also known as “Homestyle Service” or “Casual Service” is the least formal style of dining.  Popular in private homes worldwide, food is placed on the table in large serving dishes from which diners serve themselves. — Compiled from numerous articles on the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Royal Dining Etiquette

 

An American Breakfast Table of the Period

The dinners of the Czar and the richer Russian Princes are models of their kind. It was the Russians who invented the idea of serving the dishes all from the outside; hence a service à la Russe, which prevents the tablecloth from being smeared with gravy and other greasy substances. The choice porcelain and glass, the gold and silver, beautiful ornaments— these are the wonder of all travelers who visit Russia. 

The old fashion has returned again of a sort of elevated tray, or little table in the middle of the table, on which are placed the choice silver jugs, ornamented pieces, and the flowers, fruits, candied fruits — indeed, the ornamental pieces of the dinner. This sort of tray, to be at its best, should be of inlaid wood, bound in silver, and of the time of Louis Quinze. A real antique of this kind is highly prized in France, England and Italy. For the breakfast-table a rotating round china standard, in two parts for the jam, honey, butter, powdered sugar, potted meats, etc., and other belongings of a breakfast, is almost universal in England.— Harpers Bazaar, 1887

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Medieval Dinner Service Etiquette

During the Middle Ages, the set-up of the tables, and table manners themselves, were very important. Diners were seated according to their social class at tables of varying heights. Reserved for members of the clergy or, if no clergy were in attendance, the highest in the social class such as the king and queen, were the highest tables. Steel knives, silver spoons, dishes for salt, silver cups, and “mazers.” Mazers were shallow, oftentimes silver-rimmed, wooden bowls that soups were drunk from.    

Medieval service, with its buffet-like courses of many dishes followed by a void at the close of the meal formed the basis of court dining protocol throughout Europe until the middle of the nineteenth century. More strictly defined rules for this kind of arrangement were imposed at the court of Louis XIV, leading to a modified form of medieval-style service known as “le grand couvert.” The pre-eminence of French cuisine during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries led to the adoption of this modus operandi at every other European court and it became internationally known as service à la française. 

A meal of this kind consisted of two courses served from the kitchen and a third course from the 'office' (pantry or confectionery), called le fruit or le dessert, rather than la voidée. Each course usually consisted of the same number of dishes arranged in perfect symmetry, though there was room for variation. A typical first course of an important meal à la française might start with a choice of four different soups (grosses entrées), accompanied by four hors-d'oeuvre, two fish dishes, four main meat dishes (relevés or grosses pièces), twelve side dishes (entrées) and four cold dishes (pièces froides). The second course would consist of a variety of roasts (rotis) and entremets (light dishes, both sweet and savoury). The third course or dessert was frequently laid out on a different table in a separate room and consisted of seasonal fruit, cheese, ices and confectionery.

Although service à la française was visually a sumptuous way of dining, it was wasteful and impractical and gradually started to be replaced in France during the early nineteenth century by service à la russe. This much simpler approach, in which the dishes arrived at table one after the other, rather than in two large mixed buffet-like courses, ensured that the diners could enjoy the hot dishes at the correct temperature and afforded plenty of room in the middle of the table for decorations. This custom was apparently introduced into France by Prince Kourakine, the ambassador of Tsar Alexander I, but did not become widespread until the Second Empire, when it was popularised by Urbain Dubois and Émile Bernard, chefs to William and Augusta of Prussia. 

Their remarkable illustrated book of recipes La Cuisine Classique (Paris, 1864) was the first work to fully explain service à la russe. Dubois was also responsible for its adoption at the English court through his Artistic Cookery (London, 1870), another lavishly illustrated work with sample dinners à la russe for royal occasions and ball suppers of up to 5,000 covers. Dubois also discusses service à l'anglaise, an English arrangement in which there were two separate courses served on the main table, with removes such as roasts and ham on a side table.— From “British Cutlery, An Illustrated History of Design, Evolution and Use”, York Civic Trust, 2001

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Meal Service Etiquette

 Meaning of “Serve,” “Offer,” and “Remove”


In the foregoing paragraphs the words “serve,” “offer,” and “remove” have been frequently used, and for the sake of clearness these will be explained in detail.

The waitress “serves” when she places the food, etc., serves before the guest without what may be called any cooperation on his part, beyond passively receiving it. In this way the waitress may serve the soup or bouillon, the individual plate of meat or fish, the salad, the after dinner coffee. In the dinner or luncheon à la Russe everything is served, that is, placed before the guest, by the one who waits. Such placing of dishes is done by the waitress with her right hand, while she stands behind and to the right of the guest.

Dishes are “offered” when the guest helps himself. Thus when the meat platter is passed, or the dishes of vegetables, or anything else to which the guest helps himself, these are said to be offered. Offering is invariably done from the left, so that the guest has the right hand free. The waitress stands behind and to the left of the guest, and offers the platter, or the dish on the salver, with her left hand, so that the guest may more con veniently help himself with his right.

                                         

Dishes are “removed” from the individual cover when the course is finished, and the plates have to be taken away to make room for the next. The waitress may re move from either the right or the left side, whichever is the more convenient. Thus, at a square table, seating two at each side, she will naturally prefer to remove from the ends, rather than from between the seated couple, hence she will remove from the right of one and the left of the other. The only point to be observed is that the waitress uses the hand to remove with that corre sponds to the side of the guest behind whom she stands. If she stands at his left side, she removes with her left hand; if she stands at his right, she removes with her right hand. Otherwise the process of removing a plate may be very awkward and disagreeable. See illustrations of the wrong and the right way to remove. – From the Boston Cooking School Magazine, 1923

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Code of Table Manners

Dinners are generally served à la Russe—that is, from the sideboard, and the dishes are passed around by the servants on silver trays. Very large plates, such as roasts and fish, are sometimes carried without the trays. On all occasions of ceremony the men servants are gloved.

A Code of Table Manners

Many of the cautions contained in this chapter will seem elementary in their nature. But one expects in a book of this kind to see the old familiar “don'ts,” and their absence would perhaps deter from the usefulness of “The Complete Bachelor.” I would, however, suggest a careful study of that clever brochure, entitled “Don't,” which would refresh the memory on many points not within the scope of this work.

It is really quite surprising to see how few men have perfect table manners. The American is unfortunately too often in a hurry. He bolts his food. He is a victim of the “quick-lunch” system. Again, a bachelor eating a solitary meal at a club or a restaurant is apt from sheer loneliness to try and dispose of it as rapidly as possible. Drill yourself into eating leisurely. Persons of refinement take only small morsels at a time. One can not be too dainty at table.

To attempt to talk while your mouth is full is another vulgarity upon which it is needless to dwell. The French have made us the reproach that we frequently drink while our mouths are in this condition. I fear there is some foundation for this accusation. Wipe your mouth carefully before putting a glass to your lips. Grease stains around the edge of a goblet or wineglass are silent but telltale witnesses of careless habits.

The napkin is an embarrassing article to many men. Its place is on the lap and not tucked into the shirt bosom or festooned around the neck. When one arises from the table, the napkin is thrown carelessly on it, unfolded. The days of napkin rings are over.

Nervous and bashful persons fidget, they do not sit squarely or firmly at table, their chairs are crooked, they play or gesticulate with their knives and forks, or they beat dismal tattoos with them against their plates. These same timid minds find vent for inspiration in the crumbs of the bread, of which they involuntarily make little figures or small round balls.

The economist, another person on the list, plasters his food, taking a bit of potato, a little tomato, and a good-sized square of meat as a foundation, and spreading these tidbits one on the other, prepares of them a delectable poultice which he swallows at a mouthful. I pass over the man who leaves traces of each meal on his shirt or his clothes. Such a being, I have no doubt, would convey food to his mouth with his knife, would blow on his soup, tea, or coffee with the idea of cooling it, or would pour the two latter cheering fluids into a saucer and drink them therefrom.

The caution to keep one’s hands above the cloth and one's elbows out of reach of others, also falls under the head of kindergarten classification. The ridiculous idea prevailing that one must not eat until others are served has passed away with many old-time fallacies. One commences to eat as soon as served. You need not proceed very actively, but you can take up your fork or spoon, as the case may be, and make at least a feint at it.

Toasts have also fallen into “désuétude” at private dinners. Sometimes you will find an old-fashioned host who will, on touching his glass with his lips, bow to his guests, and they may wait for this signal to sip their wine, but the custom is utterly obsolete in large cities and at formal dinners.

When you have finished the course, lay your knife and fork side by side on your plate, the prongs of the fork upward. Do not cross them. No whistlike signals are needed to-day to signify that you have had sufficient to eat.

Dinners are generally served à la Russe—that is, from the sideboard, and the dishes are passed around by the servants on silver trays. Very large plates, such as roasts and fish, are sometimes carried without the trays. On all occasions of ceremony the men servants are gloved.

Carving at table is but little seen except at very informal dinners and in the country, where sometimes the master of the house shows off this old-fashioned accomplishment, especially if he has a dining room in colonial style and wishes to have everything in keeping.

The question of second helpings is therefore not one of moment. The servants pass the viands twice or more around. If a host or hostess serves at table, he or she will ask the guests whether they would like a second helping. It is never demanded. Except when absolutely necessary, the handkerchief should be kept out of sight. It can be used in case there should be some sudden irritation of the skin, but to blow one’s nose at table is disgusting.

The American bachelor takes usually a very light first meal. It consists of tea, coffee, or cocoa, toast, eggs, oatmeal, and fruit. There are yet a few men who go in for the old-fashioned hearty breakfast with beefsteak, buckwheat cakes, and trimmings, but in cities the lighter meal is preferable. All this is, of course, more a matter of environment and hygiene than etiquette. — The Complete Bachelor, by Walter Germain, 1896

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Table Service Styles

This post below is from “Galatime” the new Italian Etiquette book by Petra Carsetti and her husband, Carlo Cambi – I am very pleased to say that I will be sharing more from Petra’s new book in the coming weeks:
“The etiquette of the new millennium for those who love to live well and in harmony with others; for those who are curious to know the origins of “good manners,” for those who want to socialize with certainty of manners and education of thought. It is a sort of invitation to the renaissance of the encounter. But it is also an essay, which can be read almost in the form of a novel, on the history of costume, as well as a friend to ask for advice on doing the right thing at the right time. Because beyond the fashions, the ways count. To understand this there is Galatime”

English, Russian, French and Italian Service

Here is a review of the main existing services:

Russian (or guéridon) service takes advantage of a trolley placed near the table from which a waiter (a servant in the house) divides and makes the dishes that are served to the right of the diner; this type of service requires expert hands in portioning.

English service: the waiter (or the servant) from the serving dish divides and serves the diner directly from the left with tongs; this method is widely used in receptions and banquets because the service is very quick and fast, but often if it is not performed by expert hands, it could lead to splashes of sauce, stains and food falling from the serving plate directly on the tablecloth or on the clothes of bystanders.

French service which in turn is divided into: 

1. Direct, in which a servant or a waiter hands a serving dish to the left of the diner with a serving utensil (or utensils) from which he will serve himself according to his own taste and hunger; this type of service allows guests either to be able to take the desired food without exaggerating the portion if it is not to one's liking or by abounding a little more (never excessively) if it is a very popular dish;

2. Indirect when the different foods are served in trays set on other tables or trolleys and each table serves itself using the servers found in each individual serving dish. It is a very informal method that can be taken into consideration, for example, in dinners with a large number of guests; naturally if you choose this type, you must set up tables with free spaces to be able to move, food warmers for dishes that must be kept warm, far from those that must be kept cold.

Italian service (or al plate, service surassiette) is that which involves the preparation of the dish in the kitchen and then brought directly to the diner, served from the right. This system is the most used, perhaps the most elegant and refined (it is no coincidence that in starred restaurants it is the only type of service, in which the dishes are often covered by a cloche) but it has the flaw that the guest cannot decide the quantity of food to be taken and therefore he will be forced to eat a large portion even if he does not find it to his liking. In a formal meeting at home, if there is no domestic help, it would impose a prolonged or continuous absence on the hostess. 

From all these types of service we learn to choose the one that best suits your occasion, knowing however that the dishes are always removed from the right and put back clean from the left; one or more trolleys are set up to place both the dirty dishes (on the floor below, covered with a cloth) that will never be stacked one on top of the other on the table, but cleared one at a time with the respective cutlery even if they are not used (maybe put all in a special container), and the clean dishes that will have been prepared previously on the upper level of the trolley and then given to diners without having to be absent continuously.

From “Galatime. È sempre tempo di buone maniere”

It should be specified that the cheese must of course be brought just before serving the pasta or soup and removed immediately afterwards; the menage must be removed when the saucer or crescent for the salad is removed; first the serving dishes must be removed and then the dinner plates. Finally, remember that everything must be cleared before dessert, except the glass of water (with its carafe) and the centerpiece. – From “Galatime,” by Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, and in September she will come out with her new book, “GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dining Etiquette and Aesthetics of 1888

An epergne is an ornamental centerpiece, usually with fruits, candles and flowers. The popularity and the size of epergnes rose and fell throughout the 19th century. In 1888, their popularity was evidently waning. Nearly sixty years later, the more ornate styles were making a comeback, as shown below from 1947.— “Flowering epergnes have been retired, and there is a marked inclination to place the graceful branch of candlesticks on the buffet or sideboard.” 

Found in the “Ladies Column”

Anything on a dining table that obstructs the view of one’s vis-a-vis is considered very bad form. Flowering epergnes have been retired, and there is a marked inclination to place the graceful branch of candlesticks on the buffet or sideboard. —Chicago Times, 1888

Epergnes made their way to America during the 18th century through craftsmen such as the Reveres and via objects imported from England. This dovetailed with a change in serving styles in America at the end of the century. During the Colonial Era the serving style was “everything on the table”, which left little to no space for an elaborate centerpiece. After the Revolution Americans moved to service à la Russe, where dishes of food were banished from the table — diners were brought hot dishes directly from the kitchen by servants. An alternative could be service from sideboards, which appeared in American dining rooms in the 1790s. This left room on the table for centerpieces and even grander arrangements known as Plateaus. We know that many of America's founding fathers entertained using these Plateaus, essentially pyramidal arrangements of serving vessels festooned with garlands of foliage and flowers, culminating in an elaborately decked-out Epergne at the center. -From The Henry Ford. org

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Country House Banquet Etiquette

Serving pieces from French flatware catalog for ‘Service À la Russe’ — “‘À la Russe’ is the proper manner to serve large and formal luncheons; in more intimate gatherings the dishes are placed upon the table, the host and hostess carving and helping the principal dishes. Both ways are good. The simplest way is to place the joints upon the ‘buffet’ or side-table, while the entries, soup, game, fish, poultry, vegetables, sweets and fruit occupy the table. Serviettes are ‘de rigueur;’ no hostess should, even from economy or any other reason, ever deny her guests these absolute necessities... Fish knives and forks would be unnecessary, and a ‘mayonnaise’ or entree of fish would be eaten with the usual large dinner fork. Small knives are used for butter and cheese, which, with toast and biscuits and small salad, should be offered to the guests at the end of the repast.” — photo source, Etiquipedia library

Banquet is the more correct term when it is a question of public luncheons, given for instance at the opening of a bridge, laying the foundation stone of a church, opening an hospital, or any semi-official occasion; to these, formal invitations would be issued, and perhaps a month’s notice would be given.

The invitations would be as follows:—

The Mayor and Corporation of  _________,
request the honour of
Mr and Mrs G. Brown’s
Company at a Banquet at the Town Hall at D.,
on the 4th of May, at 2 o'clock,
to celebrate the Opening of D. Bridge.
R. S. V. P.

Etiquette would be strictly observed on such an occasion, as to precedence, and an immediate answer would be sent by those invited of acceptance or the contrary.

At lawn tennis, archery and croquet parties, large luncheons are usually given, which fact should be mentioned on the card of invitation.

In London, in houses where ‘carte blanche’ to come and go is not the order of the day, a week’s verbal or written invitation is generally considered long enough.

Luncheon is a form of hospitality that commends itself much to the minds of most hostesses, as at very little expense, and still less trouble (as a rule), it enables them to receive and show hospitality to a large number of friends and acquaintances, to whom they might otherwise find it impossible to show civility.

It is a meal to which elderly ladies, ‘country cousins’ coming to town for a few days’ shopping, single ladies, and very young ones can be invited; and when a fair proportion of gentlemen are present, so much the better. People can be asked to lunch that for hundreds of reasons it might be impossible, inconvenient, or undesirable, to invite to dinner.

Where a hostess gives ‘carte blanche’ to her friends to come to luncheon whenever they please without any further invitation, gentlemen, as a rule, are more disposed to accept the hospitality than ladies, the former being more diffident of accepting this informal kind of invitation.

At a formal luncheon, where the guests are asked by an invitation card or letter, the hostess would ask equal numbers of ladies and gentlemen, as it would be of material importance that such should be the case, for ladies are generally in the majority when the invitation is a permanent one, and, therefore, gentlemen when invited in the same way should make a point of going without standing upon ceremony. No hostess but what welcomes the advent of a gentleman at lunch, whether she knows he is coming or not, as they are acquisitions then, and would be ready to see that the ladies have what good things they wish. They can take any vacant place; no particular politeness is necessary with them.

When a lady arrives the hostess must show her a certain amount of attention; she must indicate a seat to her at the table, and tell one of the gentlemen present to offer her the different dishes, wine, etc..., and make himself agreeable and conversational while luncheon lasts.

Two o'clock is the usual hour in London during the summer, one-thirty in the winter. In the country, one o’clock is the time, as a rule, to allow of guests riding, driving, etc..., before their five-o’clock tea.

When the invitation is a formal one, although not absolutely imperative, good taste requires that the guests arrive within a quarter of an hour of the hour specified. It will be a breach of etiquette to be half-an hour late. No hostess should wait for any guest after a quarter of an hour has elapsed.

In some houses, both London and the country, where the daughters are old enough to do so, they dine at lunch with their governess, whether strangers are present or not, but it is a mistake that they should do so.

The presence of girls not yet out is embarrassing to all the guests present; topics of conversation that may be discussed by older persons must either be eschewed when they are present, or else indulged in just the same, which is very injurious to young girls and children. Everyone pities the governess, who, in her turn, looks forward to these ordeals with dread, and wishes herself anywhere but where she is; in a word, silence, shyness, general discomfort is the order of the entertainment, until the order for the children’s release comes, and leaves their elders free to enjoy gossip, scandal, etc..., to their heart’s content.

When a lady or gentleman arrives at a house for lunch without previously making known their intention of so doing to the hostess, and simply acting on the general invitation he or she has received, they would inquire of the servant whether their hostess was ‘at home’ and visible; and they would wait until the servant had ascertained; but where previously invited, this would not be necessary, the hostess having already told her servant the number of guests she expected. The guest, on the door being opened, would walk in, merely observing, ‘Her Ladyship expects me to-day.’

The servant then precedes the guest to the drawing-room, the usual place of assembling, if he arrives before the specified hour for luncheon; if that time has passed, then the guest is conducted direct to the dining-room, where the hostess would shake hands with him or her, and make a general introduction to those already present, introducing him thus,—

‘Lord D., Lady E., Mrs B., and Miss W.,’ thus saving three distinct and formal introductions, and so setting all the guests at their ease at once.

Luncheon should be punctual, a quarter of an hour being the outside grace allowed between the assembling of the guests and the announcement of luncheon. Those who do not arrive in that time, will have to submit to the ordeal of walking into lunch, enduring the stare of many pairs of inquisitive eyes. Hence punctuality is a virtue to be cultivated, particularly when the person invited suffers from shyness, that bugbear of many.

The butler announces ‘Luncheon is ready, My Lady,’ or ‘Luncheon is on the table,’ when the servant is a parlour-maid, as this is a simpler way than the preceding method.

On this announcement being made, the hostess would turn to the lady of highest rank present, and observe, ‘Shall we go downstairs? Luncheon is quite ready.’

The lady so addressed, with her host, if he was present, would walk to the door, talking to the host as she went downstairs; the other ladies would follow her, without regard to precedency, except when they were all strangers to each other; the ladies having all left the room, the hostess would follow, and the gentlemen in their turn would follow her.

It would be a great breach of etiquette for ladies and gentlemen to go down to luncheon arm-in-arm,—that is only done at dinner parties, or when escorting a lady to supper.

The ladies go down by themselves, sometimes two or three in a row, the gentlemen follow them in like manner; but on arriving in the dining-room, each gentleman takes a seat by a lady’s side, or between two ladies.

It is perfectly optional whether the host (when there is one) is present at lunch or not; when he means to be present, he either comes into the drawing-room, and shakes hands with his guests before luncheon is announced, the hostess introducing him to those of the guests with whom he is not already acquainted. Thus, ‘My brother,’ or ‘My husband,’ ‘Lady M.,’ or he joins them after they have sat down to luncheon, the reason for this being that gentlemen are often out at lunch time, and guests not being sent in in couples as they are at dinner, his presence is not a necessity; he may appear or stay away as he feels disposed. Of course, when the luncheon is a formal affair, his presence is imperative.

The hostess sits at the top, the host at the bottom of the table, as at dinner; the guests where they please, although, as a general rule, the lady of highest rank sits next to the host, and the hostess has the gentleman of highest position next to her.

A polite excuse would be made by the guest who arrives after the others are assembled, when he had made his way up the room to the hostess, and shaken hands with her. If the late guest were a lady, the hostess would rise and advance to meet and welcome her; if a gentleman, she would remain seated, simply shaking hands cordially with him.

The wine at luncheon is decanted, the decanters being placed upon the table; the butler fills the guests’ glasses, and then replaces the decanters; when the servants do not remain all luncheon time, the guests help themselves.

‘À la Russe’ is the proper manner to serve large and formal luncheons; in more intimate gatherings the dishes are placed upon the table, the host and hostess carving and helping the principal dishes. Both ways are good.

The simplest way is to place the joints upon the ‘buffet’ or side-table, while the entries, soup, game, fish, poultry, vegetables, sweets and fruit occupy the table.

Serviettes are ‘de rigueur;’ no hostess should, even from economy or any other reason, ever deny her guests these absolute necessities.

The bread is placed in the serviette, and the usual cover for each person consists of three knives, two large and one small, two large and one small fork, a dessert spoon, with a table spoon, when soup is served; a tumbler and two glasses—one for sherry, the other for claret. When hock is drunk, some people use regular hock glasses, others drink it in claret glasses.

Fish knives and forks would be unnecessary, and a ‘mayonnaise’ or entree of fish would be eaten with the usual large dinner fork. Small knives are used for butter and cheese, which, with toast and biscuits and small salad, should be offered to the guests at the end of the repast.

For half-an-hour to an hour is the usual time for luncheon. Much depends upon the number of the guests. The host and hostess would do their best to make the conversation general, so that no guest should feel neglected or alone.

It is equally fashionable for the servants to remain in the room during lunch, or for only a part of the time. In large houses, where a great deal of state and ceremony is observed, the former is usually the case; but the most agreeable is for the servants to disappear when the guests have been helped to the various joints, vegetables, and wine, and then the rest of the dishes are presented to the guests by the gentlemen assembled, and the sweets, etc..., are helped by the host and hostess. When this is not the case, as at a formal dinner party, the servants hand round each dish in succession.

The host, or gentleman nearest the door, opens it for the ladies to pass out, which they do much in the way in which they entered it, the hostess being last. The hostess gives the signal by attracting, with a smile or word—rising as she does so—the attention of the lady present of highest rank.

The gentlemen follow the ladies when there is no host present; when there is, they remain with him for a few minutes, and then rejoin the ladies in the drawing-room.

If the host is not particularly engaged, he returns with his guests to the drawing-room; but it is a matter of inclination, and not an imperative civility, whether he does so or not.

Twenty minutes to half-an-hour is the longest time guests would remain after the adjournment from the dining-room, and on returning to the drawing-room, the ladies would, in as quiet a manner as possible, put on their gloves and veil, which they take off in the dining-room before sitting down to lunch; they would also remove warm winter cloaks or wraps in the hall, but not their bonnets.

The gentlemen take their hats into the dining-room with them, except at large luncheon parties, when they leave them with their gloves and stick, or umbrella, in the hall.

The servant announces to each guest the arrival of their carriage (when they have one). Ladies having carriages desire their coachmen to return for them from three to a quarter past.

If a lady requires a cab, and has not desired her servant to have one ready at a certain hour, she would ask her hostess’s permission to have one called for her when she was ready to leave.

When the hostess has shaken hands with her guest, she would ring the drawing-room bell, or request one of the gentlemen present to do so for her, that the servant might be in readiness in the entrance-hall to open the door for her, and call up her carriage or cab.

The guest would shake hands with the ladies and gentlemen present that she knew best, and take leave of the rest with a general bow, which includes by its civility everyone else present.— From “Etiquette: What to Do, and How to Do It,” By Lady Constance Eleanora C. Howard, 1885

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Etiquette and Food Service

With “Butler Service,” a diner helps himself or herself from a serving platter or plate, held by the butler or waiter.

Silver Service (in British English) or Service à l’Anglaise (French for “English Service”) is a method of serving food that normally will include serving food at the table. It is a method of transferring food from the service dish to a guest's plate from the left. It is performed by a waiter by using service forks and spoons from a diner’s left hand side.

Butler Service or Service à la Française (“French Service”) a diner helps himself from a serving plate held by the waiter or the butler. Traditionally, this type of service was used on Sunday evenings, when the wait staff had the evening off and the butler help serve the dinner.

Russian Service or Service à la Russe, is at once the simplest and most elegant manner when guests are present, as it is only necessary to pass the dishes of each course in rotation, beginning alternately at the right and the left of the guest.

Buffet Service is when the food is placed and displayed on a separate table or sideboard, in a public area, from which diners help serve themselves to the food, before being seated at a dining table to eat. “Buffet Service” comes from the least humble of beginnings in 18th century Europe, when chefs and confectioners wanted to impress those coming to balls and parties in grand homes, upon their arrival. Foods designed to impress were laid out for guests to feast their eyes on, prior to dining. 

Family Service dining, also known as “Homestyle Service” or “Casual Service” is the least formal style of dining.  Popular in private homes worldwide, food is placed on the table in large serving dishes from which diners serve themselves.

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Etiquette of Dinner à la Russe

An 1890’s oyster fork in the Shrewsbury pattern. Oyster forks can be placed on the right side of the place setting if there are already three forks on the left side of each place setting. – Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving. 

Dinner is Now Served... à la Russe

To serve à la Russe, which is at once the simplest and most elegant manner when guests are present, it is only necessary to pass the dishes of each course in rotation, beginning alternately at the right and the left of the guest, writes Mrs. Van Koert in the Ladies Home Journal. Some think it more courteous to serve all the ladies first, but it is not now considered a breach of strict etiquette to serve in regular order.

The old French custom required that the dishes, elaborately garnished, and the meats, sometimes stabbed with silver skewers, like crossed swords, should be placed upon the table, before the host and hostess alternately, for a moment, to give the guests an opportunity of admiring them previous to them being carved, but this formality has gone out of fashion even among the French themselves.

Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving.

Under each oyster plate it is customary to have a dinner plate, upon which also the one containing the soup is placed. A dinner can hardly be served with elegance by less than two persons, although attention to the prescribed rules greatly simplifies the matter. The soup should be served from a side table, a ladleful to each plate. Plates are then carried one by one to their destination. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1893

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Proper Place Setting Etiquette

Correctly drawn diagram of a place setting, with no more than 3 forks on the left. If a 4th fork was to be added on the left, it would replace the cocktail fork, and the cocktail fork would be moved to the right of the place setting, and to the right of the knife. 

In the United States' Colonial period, the only flatware on a dining table was a knife, fork, and possibly a spoon, for each person. With stacked tablecloths, one atop another for each course, explain Wendell and Wes Schollander, in the book Forgotten Elegance, "Part of the reason for this was that the tablecloth was removed after every course. To have a lot of silver and many glasses on the table would have made the removal of the tablecloth too hard.           

The fork is the only utensil that can be found at three sides of a place setting. 

When the change to service à la Russe took place in the 1860s and 1870s, the tablecloth stayed in place throughout the entire meal. In addition, the servants were busy carving and serving food. It now made sense to put out all the silver the diner would need and leave it there throughout the entire meal. The footman had other things to do and less time to hand out silverware. In addition, the mechanization of the production of silverware, together with a drop in the price of silver, meant the host now acquired more silverware. 

 An individual"bird knife and fork" in the Chantilly pattern. The game course could consist of partridge, pheasant, duck, woodcock, snipe or other popular birds eaten in the 1800's. The bird knife was the forerunner of the steak knife we know today, after a serrated edge was added.

There were some practical limits. Clearly if the hostess put out the eight or ten forks one would use at a formal meal, the diners would be too spread out to comfortably talk to each other. Convention quickly settled on three or four forks as the maximum number the hostess could put out so guests could still talk easily to their neighbors. For some twenty years after the Civil War there was disagreement about whether three or four forks were proper.        

The three forks on the left, as set for a formal meal, match with the corresponding knives on the right. This formal dinner setting's menu included a caviar first course, a cream soup second course, a fish course, a dinner course, then a salad course, then dessert. The utensils directly above the plate are always for dessert, (save the salt, pepper, or condiment spoon and possibly a butter spreader.)

In the end, three forks won out – perhaps because the game course became less common. But, because this was a change and an arbitrary number, it was necessary to keep reminding people that they should never put out more than three forks at a table setting." –From the book, "Forgotten Elegance"

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