1930’s Etiquette for Gents and PDA

“A man never takes a woman’s arm, but offers his. It is definitely bad taste to walk arm in arm. I have always felt that any display of emotion in public was very poor taste.”

Beware Showing Public Emotion

I THINK it was a man named Phelps who gave what is to me the almost perfect definition of etiquette. He said, “The essence of politeness consists in so conducting ourselves, in manner and word, that others may be pleased both with us and with themselves.” There are innumerable little tests of good manners that distinguish, the well-bred person in public. A truly polite person never calls attention to himself in any way, at any time. When he meets a friend, he does so quietly and graciously. He is cordial without being conspicuous. A gentleman offers his arm to an old lady or an invalid. He helps his companion to alight from a car, to step across a puddle, or in walking down dark stairs.

A young man may offer to assist an older or infirm man in any of these instances without seeming forward. A man never takes a woman’s arm, but offers his. It is definitely bad taste to walk arm in arm. I have always felt that any display of emotion in public was very poor taste. I never punish my children before other people, neither do I allow them to “make scenes” in places where they will attract attention. This fashion of kissing upon meeting and leaving one’s friends, is particularly distasteful. If you start kissing people the second time you meet them, it is like eating your dessert before you finish the salad and entrée. It leaves you nothing to grow, to nothing to look forward to, in the development of your friendship. Kissing is something that should be kept for one’s family or dearest friends. When it is done promiscuously, it becomes meaningless. — By Deborah Ames, Calexico Chronicle, 1936

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

NY Wives Were Poor Bartenders

Out of the 500, she found only 12 who “never served cocktails,” which should warm the cockles of the distillers, if they wore not aware of it already. Of these, two declared their reasons were those of taste, and that they preferred Dubonnet or sherry to more potent before-dinner quaffs. On almost every call, Miss Howard was moved to say: “Fie, fie,” for the ladies of the house invariably excused their lack of cocktail knowledge with the information that they always left the mixing business to the men of the house.

A NEW YORKER AT LARGE

The “average New York hostess” knows much about cocktails as Eskimos know about the nocturnal habits of the hippopotamus. So, at least, concludes Cynthia Howard, writer and consultant on cocktail hour etiquette and recipes, after telephoning 500 New York hostesses for answers to a score of questions which she described as both pertinent and impertinent. 

Out of the 500, she found only 12 who “never served cocktails,” which should warm the cockles of the distillers, if they wore not aware of it already. Of these, two declared their reasons were those of taste, and that they preferred Dubonnet or sherry to more potent before-dinner quaffs. On almost every call, Miss Howard was moved to say: “Fie, fie,” for the ladies of the house invariably excused their lack of cocktail knowledge with the information that they always left the mixing business to the men of the house. 

“Housewives who pursue such a negligent path are likely to find themselves living alone, whether they like it or not,” warns the consultant hostess. Informed by the city's barkceps that the most popular mixed drinks are the Manhattan, Martini, Old Fashioned, Whiskey Sour and Bacardi cocktail. Miss Howard asked each hostess if she could mix any or all of them. 

The results, she says, “were appalling.” Only 3 per cent of the 488 who served cocktails were able to mix all five favorites; 7 per cent, four; 18 per cent, three; 20 per cent, two; 25 per cent, one; and 27 per cent none at all. Many of the ladies did not know.-By Jack Stinnett, New York, 1936

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Introduction Etiquette: A Refresher

Speak names clearly. Drop a hint if you want people to talk.

 

A 2nd Debut Article from 2021

1. Always introduce a man to a woman. 

2. When introducing two men or two women, always introduce the younger to the older. 

3. Say “May I present?” Or “I should like you to know.” 

4. Always use proper titles such as Miss, Mr., Mrs., Captain, Doctor, Judge.

5. Shake hands like a man with a man. With a woman, only if she first offers her hand.

6. Always stand up to be introduced, or to make introductions.

7. Look squarely at the person you are meeting. Let your glance be firm but friendly.

8. Say “How do you do” after being introduced. Never say “Pleased to meetcha.”

9. Speak names clearly. Drop a hint if you want people to talk.

10. Catch the name if you can. Ask for it if you didn't. — From “Manners for Moderns”, 1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of the Sexes, 1936

If the waiter’s not on hand, Jim’s johnny-on-the-spot at seating Molly.

Have You Charming Manners in Public

What charming manners these young people have! Wherever they are—in restaurants, theaters, at dances —their perfect poise wins admiration. If the waiter’s not on hand, Jim’s johnny-on-the-spot at seating Molly. If an older woman’s in the party, Jim gallantly seats her first. As for Molly? Does she cling to her escort’s arm? Flourish a comb in public? Turn down one man for a dance—then sail off with a better dancer? Of course not! If Molly’d rather not dance with a certain man — and has had no previous request for the dance —she suggests sitting it out. Manners make or mar your success. — S.A. Journal, 1936

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Knowing Etiquette for Public Poise

Be poised, get creative and save your hair… “You're off to a dance and the wind stands your best hair-do on end. Must you wait for your escort to come to your rescue ? Not at all. Say, “Do you mind if I roll up this window?” Or be nonchalant and tie a scarf or handkerchief over your curls.”

Tips on Dating Manners 

The recipe for popularity is to meet every little emergency with poise. You're off to a dance and the wind stands your best hair-do on end. Must you wait for your escort to come to your rescue ? Not at all. Say, “Do you mind if I roll up this window?” Or be nonchalant and tie a scarf or handkerchief over your curls. 

Your glove drops on the car floor. Bill can't drive with one hand while he stands on his head looking for it. Maybe you can retrieve it gracefully yourself. Otherwise, wait until you get to your destination before you suggest a search. 

At the dance, your old friend Don appears, tries to take you in tow. Bill swings into a brand new step you just can't follow. It's no trick at all to handle situations like these —if you know the rules. – Santa Ana Journal, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930’s Dating Etiquette Advice

See her scrambling into Ed’s car without letting him open the door politely! He’ll never forgive her for making the passersby, whom he knows, think he has no manners. 

   

Do You Embarrass Your Escort?

Hettie’s a one-date girl and here's why. She makes her unlucky escort look foolish because she doesn’t know her etiquette. See her scrambling into Ed’s car without letting him open the door politely! He’ll never forgive her for making the passersby, whom he knows, think he has no manners. 

She embarrasses every young man she’s gone out with by speaking of him as her “boy friend” rather than as a “a friend of mine” or “a man I know.” At introductions she says, “Pleased to meet you,” instead of the approved, “How do you do.” She neglects thanking him for a pleasant evening. Men judge girls by just such etiquette errors.– Santa Ana Journal, 1936

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Meet Emergencies with Poise

Your glove drops on the car floor. Bill can't drive with one hand while he stands on his head looking for it.
Maybe you can retrieve it gracefully yourself. Otherwise, wait until you get to your destination before you suggest a search.

Tips on Manners:

Recipe for popularity is to meet every little emergency with poise

You’re off to a dance and the wind stands your best hair-do on end. Must you wait for your escort to come to your rescue? 

Not at all. Say, “Do you mind if I roll up this window?” Or be nonchalant and tie a scarf or handkerchief over your curls.

Your glove drops on the car floor. Bill can’t drive with one hand while he stands on his head looking for it.

Maybe you can retrieve it gracefully yourself. Otherwise, wait until you get to your destination before you suggest a search.

At the dance, your old friend Don appears, tries to take you in tow. Bill swings into a brand new step you just can’t follow. 

It's no trick at all to handle situations like these– if you remain poised. – Santa Ana Journal, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Good Etiquette Enhances Charm”

When the car stops, she doesn't leap out, but waits for him to show his good manners by coming around to assist her.

Little Courtesies Bring Dates!

What grand times Helen and Dick have together! He treats her like a queen because she's as thoughtful and friendly as she is smooth-mannered. 

When the car stops, she doesn't leap out, but waits for him to show his good manners by coming around to assist her.

At a restaurant, she lets him give the order to the waiter after consulting her. If she has shopping to do, she's pleased to have him carry her parcels.

But she shows her appreciation of his courtesy, too. Dining out, she considers his pocketbook. Shopping she doesn't make him a walking dray.

And at sports Helen claims no favors. She chases her own tennis balls takes defeat without sulking, victory without crowing. Cultivate the good manners and courtesy that attract interesting new acquaintances, lead to lasting friendships. – Santa Ana Journal, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Introduction Etiquette

Make all your introductions simple. Say as few words as possible! Speak distinctly! 

HOW TO INTRODUCE

Make all your introductions simple. Say as few words as possible! Speak distinctly! 

As illustrations:
“Miss Brown, MAY I PRESENT Mr. Green?”

“Miss Brown, DO YOU KNOW Mr. Green?”

Or perhaps BEST OF ALL, simply their names:
“Miss Brown, Mr. Green.”

NEVER SAY:

“Miss Brown, I'D LIKE TO MAKE YOU ACQUAINTED WITH Mr. Green.”

“Mr. Jones, MEET Mr. Black.”

“Mr. Jones, SHAKE HANDS WITH Mr. Black.”

WHEN INTRODUCING A MAN TO A WOMAN always speak the woman's name FIRST! 

You may say: “Mr. Green, HAVE YOU MET Miss Brown” – indicating that the introduction bestows a favor on the gentleman and on the woman the respect that all women receive from well-bred men.

NEVER SAY: 

“Miss Brown, HAVE YOU MET Mr. Green?”

This conveys the impression that Mr. Green is more important than Miss Brown.

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS HOWEVER:

Special distinction of office or advanced years may justify introducing a debutante to a famous author or scientist, a general or an admiral.

WHEN INTRODUCING MEN TO EACH OTHER, the best way is: 

“Mr. Smith, Mr. Brown.” 

From “Good Manners: 

Reliable Advice on Etiquette – Clearly Told,” 1930

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Checklist of Introduction Etiquette

Always stand up to be introduced, or to make introductions.

Check-list on Introductions

1. Always introduce a man to a woman.

2. When introducing two men or two women, always introduce the younger to the older.

3. Say “May I present?” Or “I should like you to know.”

4. Always use proper titles such as Miss, Mr., Mrs., Captain, Doctor, Judge.

5. Shake hands like a man with a man. With a woman, only if she first offers her hand.

6. Always stand up to be introduced, or to make introductions.

7. Look squarely at the person you are meeting. Let your glance be firm but friendly.

8. Say “How do you do” after being introduced. Never say “Pleased to meetcha.”

9. Speak names clearly. Drop a hint if you want people to talk.

10. Catch the name if you can. Ask for it if you didn't. — From “Manners for Moderns”, 1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia