Etiquette and “Society’s Exquisites”

Going to parties hours after the time named— is only indulged in by those who disregard all considerations  except mistaken ideas of what constitutes “fashion;” but this notion is held by so many, that it has become, as the correspondent says, “an evil almost intolerable by those that give parties.” 

Of Interest to Polite Society

A correspondent of the Buffalo Commercial Advertiser calls that paper’s attention to etiquette at parties

He thinks that something ought to be said to correct the false notion that it is polite to go to a party after 10 o’clock, even when invited for 7 o’clock. He mentions an instance of the inconveniences that arise from which occurred at an elegant party given by a prominent Buffalo citizen the other evening. Specified in the cards of invitation for the party to assemble, was 7 o’clock. The more substantial and considerate portion of the guests paid some attention to the time fixed, and arrive there shortly after the hour designated. Others came two hours after, and some of the “extra exquisite” ones did not arrive until than three hours after they were to be present. 

Our correspondent gives the names of some of our most prominent citizens, who in the spirit of true politeness, arrived a very short time after the hour named by their hosts. He truly asks that when the hour is fixed in the invitation, it is to be presumed that it expresses the wish of the giver of the party, und it is etiquette, therefore, for the invited party to pay some attention to that wish, they propone to avail themselves of the hospitality. The contrary practice— that of going to parties hours after the time named— is only indulged in by those who disregard all considerations  except mistaken ideas of what constitutes “fashion;” but this notion is held by so many, that it has become, as the correspondent says, “an evil almost intolerable by those that give parties.” – “Ladies’ Gossip” in the Daly Alta, 1867

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Major Etiquette Fail

Mr. Clark wasn't "all that" in modern day slanguage — A hostess should never ignore or otherwise insult, any of those paying visits to her home, however, one should not use a gun to settle any social misunderstandings either.

Misunderstanding Social Rules

Jesse C. Clarke evidently wanted to be "the whole thing" when he sought society yesterday and called at a home on Redlands Road. He objected to the hostess paying any attention to a young couple that called during his stay and manifested his displeasure by firing off a revolver and using vile language. For this, little remissness in observing the rules of social etiquette, he was fined $5.00 by Justice Hanna this morning. He is said to be an employee at the P. F. E. plant. — California, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Serious Guest Etiquette Breach

From the Devonshire Parure: A stomacher, circa 1856. Featuring gold, enamel, diamonds, carnelian, onyx, garnet, jacinths, lapis lazuli, plasma, and sardonyx, 30.2 x 19.0 cm.
–Photo source, Pinterest

American Woman’s Display

An interesting story of how an American woman duped the Court of Russia has just leaked out. At these Royal balls, wealth and luxury run riot and the Russians are very proud of their display, says the Delineator. 

To be outdone by a foreigner is, to them, almost a disgrace. At a recent Court ball an American woman, now a Duchess in England, outdid the Russians one season, making a tremendous sensation, so loaded down was she with her great tiara and high dog collar, her stomacher and ropes of famous pearls that she rivaled even the Empress. Her gems drew admiration from every one. This proved a great embarrassment to the English ambassador, who realized what a serious breach of etiquette it was. 

It was some time afterward that a jeweler in Paris, bursting with pride over the achievement, told how he had gone to London to make imitations of the celebrated jewels, especially to be worn at this St. Petersburg ball, the Duchess being afraid to take the genuine ones upon such a long journey. —Lompoc Journal, 1910

💎Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia