Gilded Age Sickroom Do’s & Don’ts

Don't Whisper – A whisper will often wake a light sleeper, when an ordinary voice would not. Don't Sniff or Sigh – Sniffs and sighs may better be indulged in the open air where a gust of wind can blow them away. – Late 19th C. Medicinal spoons, including a half-teaspoon.

• Don't Tiptoe – A tiptoe will sometimes cause more disturbance than a carefully, squarely placed footfall.
• Don't Whisper – A whisper will often wake a light sleeper, when an ordinary voice would not.
• Don't Sniff or Sigh – Sniffs and sighs may better be indulged in the open air where a gust of wind can blow them away.
• Don't Handle Rattling Papers – The folding and unfolding of papers that “rattle” is well calculated to “rattle” invalids, to say nothing of those who are strong and well.
• Don't Shout, or allow the voice to be keyed on a high note – Shouting may be a necessity in connection with the treatment of “beasts of burden,” but should be counted a luxury for indulgence only indoors, when conversing with those who are “deaf as a post.”
• When hot applications are ordered, let them be hot, not warm.
• Put your piety into your nursing, as well as into your prayers.
• Smooth off, with a fine file, the rough end of the glass drinking tube.
• Let no drinks be brought in large tumblers or glasses; little ones are far more acceptable.
• Use finest old linen, if linen at all, for bathing the mouth and lips; nothing else makes them so grateful.
• Make the most of the privilege of being near the suffering mortal who longs for your presence.
• Raise the invalid's head by putting your hand under the upper pillow, and, with as much firmness as possible, lifting it. – Good Housekeeping, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Comforting Invalids

Two Victorian Pap Boats… Pap Boats or Invalid Feeders were for feeding small children, the ill or the elderly. The Blue Onion or “bulb design” on the left, was a Chinese design, but became extremely popular in Europe of the 18th and 19th centuries, and was reimagined by other manufacturers in response. 

– In its earliest usage, ‘pap’ referred to breast-feeding infants. “Pap” meant ‘breast’, “nipple,’ or even ‘teat”. By the 18th century, ‘pap’ also referred to a sweet-tasting, heavily diluted, porridge or gruel, similar to baby food. Pap was comfort food… soothing, often sweet and easy on the stomach and on the digestive system. If  toddlers or babies were ill, medicine was often mixed into the pap formula so that the dosage could be taken with a minimal amount of fuss. Recipes for pap typically called for milk, occasional fruit juices, flour, butter, sugar, softened breads and/or breadcrumbs.

Would You Comfort an Invalid? 

If you would, follow this etiquette…

1. Look hopeful, never despairing.
2. When requested to read the news, omit the death list.
3. Tell only the pleasant tidings; there is no fear of for getting the evil.
4. Sigh, if you must, after leaving the sick-room, not in the presence of the sufferer. 
5. Leave stiff linen cuffs outside – in England, where they are fashionable, if you like.
6. Refrain from telling about a similar case in which the invalid died a shocking death.
7. Let every article of food be delicately dished, taking only small, tempting quantities.
8. If you must chew gum, munch popcorn or nuts, wait until a half-mile away from sensitive ears.
9. Make the most of the luxuries at hand without expatiating upon the charms of the unattainable.
10. If your sick ones think the curtain is green when it is really blue, what harm in allowing them to think so? – L. Sturges, 1892

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia