Presidential Dining Etiquette and More

Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

When the President and his wife drive out, the President sits upon the right hand seat and his wife on the left. If there are others in the carriage, whether ladies or gentlemen, they must sit with their backs to the horses. When the President's wife drives alone she sits in the right hand corner —the place of houor. The lady of the White House cannot set foot within those splendid houses in Washington whose flag staffs mark the foreign embassy or legation. She could not go without the President, and, as an embassy or legation is technically a part of the country it represents, the President could not go — so that she never sees the inside of a diplomatic house as long as she presides at the executive mansion. 

The President dines only at cabinet houses, and his wife cannot dine anywhere without him. President Arthur dined with judges of the supreme court and with senators but as he had no wife the whole system was very much simplified for him. The President’s wife may if she chooses go to luncheons where there are no gentlemen, or to teas, both being regarded as strictly informal; but the danger of giving offense by accepting one invitation and declining another is so great that it is seldom or never relaxed. 

At a state dinner the etiquette of the White House is exactly the reverse of the custom at a private dinner. The guests assemble in the cast room and await the President and his wife, who appear on the stroke of the clock. Woe betide the late guest! He has committed a national or international breach of etiquette. At the table the President is served first, his wife next, then the guests inorder of precedence. An invitation to the White House is a command, and takes precedence of all others, even of a dinner at one's own house. An infringement of this rule would be regarded as a shocking breach of the amenities. The President's sister may be at the head of the White Home, as Mrs. McElroy was during President Arthur's administration, and Miss Rose Cleveland during a part of Mr. Cleveland's first administration, but her position is never like that of the President's wife. 

She has much more latitude, and although she follows in a general way the etiquette laid down for the President's wife, she has by to means the recognized official standing of the “first lady of the land.” The younger and more inexperienced a woman is when she enters the White House the more likely she is to succeed; since she is likely to do us she is told, without, presuming to act on her own judgment. This is one secret of Mrs. Cleveland’s success.– Ventura Weekly Democrat, 1901

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Congressman’s Etiquette Lessons

Photo of a White House State Dinner place setting for President Lyndon Johnson. Cigarettes and matches were requirements for a properly set formal table of the era. Smoking was not banned in the White House until the Clinton Administration in the 1990’s

LIGHTER SIDE OF WASHINGTON 

Congressman Gets Seven Cards Telling Of Proper Dinner Behavior

WASHINGTON (UPI) By no standards that I know of could Rep. John F. Baldwin be described as a bumpkin. He is a graduate of the University of California; he was president of his law class for three years; he was a practicing attorney for five years, and he has served in Congress since 1954. You would think a person with this background would feel at home in almost any company. Yet there is something about a State Dinner at the White House that makes even a relatively sophisticated congressman uncertain about his manners. 

Baldwin was one of the guests at the dinner that President Kennedy gave for the Shah of Iran last week, and I suppose it was the invitation that put him on edge. As he related a report on the affair to his constituents, the envelope contained no less than five cards, which seemed to take nothing for granted. The first card told what the occasion was. The second one gave the time and place of the dinner. The third one told him what to wear. The fourth one told him where to respond. And the fifth one told him what gate to enter. When he and his wife arrived at the White House, they were handed still another card which told them where to sit. At the table, they found a seventh card which made it clear they had found the right place. It was at this point, apparently, that Baldwin’s confidence in his table etiquette was shattered. 

“I must confess that my main concern during the dinner, was whether I was using the proper knife or the proper fork at the right time,” he said. “There were three different knives on the right, and three different forks on the left.” Expressing hope that he “represented you properly at this state dinner,” he said, "I think I only used the wrong fork once." Well, gee, I don’t want to embarrass the congressman or anything, but I must point out that when you have three forks, it is impossible to use the wrong fork only once. Silverware errors are cumulative and cannot be rectified as the meal progresses. In other words, if Baldwin used his dinner fork on the salad, then he must have used his salad fork during the main course or desert. But Baldwin needn’t feel chagrined about it, for it was the fault of the White House staff. They should have provided yet another card showing which fork to use.– Madera Tribune, 1962

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Awkward State Dinners

White House tables set for the Obama administration’s last State Dinner. His administration’s first State Dinner was memorable for the now divorced, notoriety seeking, party-crashing couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi. With no invite, they managed to not only skirt Secret Service scrutiny and attend the State Dinner, but get photographed meeting the President, just a few feet away from the Indian Prime Minister. 

— Photo source, Pinterest 

WASHINGTON — President Obama’s first state dinner was memorable for who showed up uninvited. His sixth, a high-glitz affair for the President of France, may be remembered for who was initially invited but did not attend.

Obama opened the White House doors Monday to French President Francois Hollande — but not to his former First Lady, journalist Valerie Trierweiler. Hollande’s first state visit to the U.S. comes after he announced his breakup with Trierweiler amid a swirl of reports linking him to an actress.

That development threw preparations into confusion. Two days of events culminate in a state dinner on the White House lawn for more than 300 people.

Like any good host, the White House did its best to make Hollande comfortable, dismissing the trouble of crossing Trierweiler off the guest list. Officials would not comment on whether they had tossed out invitations bearing Trierweiler’s name. They would not say who would take her coveted place next to the President at the head table. They released details on the entrees (American), the entertainment (singer Mary J. Blige) and the dessert (whimsical, including orange-zest-dusted cotton candy).

On Monday, the Presidents traveled to Charlottesville, Va., to tour Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello estate, keeping the focus on the storied Franco-American alliance. (Some saw ties to infidelity even there, however: Historians believe Jefferson fathered children out of wedlock with Sally Hemings, a slave.)

For the world of efficient and polite protocol experts, a guest of honor traveling without a companion is nothing compared with the embarrassment of party crashers like the ones who talked their way into Obama’s dinner for the Indian prime minister in 2009.

“This is not difficult to manage,” said Anita McBride, former chief of staff for First Lady Laura Bush, who now heads the Center for Congressional and Presidential Studies at American University. Sure, the image of the two couples standing in their finest at the North Portico will be a person short, but c’est la vie.

“This is an interesting visit, isn’t it?” said Mary Mel French, chief of protocol during the Clinton administration and author of “United States Protocol: The Guide to Official Diplomatic Etiquette.”

At one time, a head of state bringing a guest who was not a spouse would have caused headaches for the Office of Protocol and the Secret Service, French said. That has changed with the times as more heads of state have remained unhitched. The Secret Service now typically gives companions, married or not, the same level of protection as spouses.

Indeed, though often described as dictated by strict protocol and decades of tradition, state visits are also shaped by the times. Politics, personal whim and predicaments all factor in. Franklin D. Roosevelt scandalized some Americans by staging a picnic with hot dogs for Britain’s King George VI during a state visit in 1939. President George W. Bush hosted many foreign leaders at his ranch in Texas, a reflection of his preference for casual, personal interaction, McBride said.

President Clinton held 23 state dinners, a reflection of his love of a good Washington schmoozefest. By contrast, and perhaps reflecting the differences in their personalities, Tuesday’s state dinner is Obama’s sixth. White House officials say the low count is a result of tighter budgets and sensitivity to tight economic times.

With fewer parties, each becomes more important — a more meaningful gesture of gratitude or praise for an ally the White House wants to spotlight, said one senior administration official, who asked not to be named discussing the White House’s approach to state visits.

In this case, the ceremonials are a sign of appreciation for an ally that has stuck with the Obama administration when others, particularly in Europe, have not.

“Let’s just say that we’ve come a long way from freedom fries and are now working together on multiple continents,” a senior administration official said.

The White House kept a lid on discussion of the French President’s personal life, with a senior official saying the administration is “studiously neutral.”

After a magazine published photos that appeared to link Hollande to French actress Julie Gayet, Trierweiler was hospitalized for a week.

The incident reignited a debate in France on privacy and the role of the press.

Hollande promised to clarify his relationship with Trierweiler before leaving for the U.S. On Jan. 25, he announced he’d be traveling alone.

He has tried to cast his U.S. visit as a reboot. “For President Hollande, it comes at a useful moment for him to show him operating at a world stage,” said Erik Goldstein, a professor of international relations at Boston University who has written about state visits.— Los Angeles Times, 2014

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Hosting Fasting Guest

Prime Minister Modi was in the middle of a nine-day religious fast, a practice that reportedly limits his intake to water and lime. How was a dinner to be hosted in his honor? — According to HinduWebsite.com, “Fasting in Hinduism is a declaration of faith and resolve and way to build character, strength and purity as part of one’s preparation for liberation. It is also helpful to restrain the mind and the senses and practice detachment, austerity and self-control. The Hindu Law Books such as the  Manusmriti prescribe for both men and women elaborate rules and procedures to practice fasting on specific occasions. They also consider fasting a meritorious deed or good karma.”

 Prime Minister, Shri Narendra Modi, in New Delhi on August 08, 2019 

Photo source, Wikimedia Commons

An Indian leader’s fast was etiquette question for a dinner at the White House

Reporting from Washington —


White House visits from foreign leaders regularly bring up delicate questions of etiquette and protocol. Just in the past year, a small team of experts at the White House has had to figure out whom to seat next to the newly single French president, for example. And they’ve fielded questions over how to greet a leader’s wife when that leader is a polygamist.

Next week, the team faces one of its more unusual challenges: how to host a dinner for a man who isn’t eating.

The prime minister of India, Narendra Modi, is due at the White House on Monday for his first visit with President Obama. The White House is planning a dinner for the leaders and other top officials to honor his arrival. Modi is in the middle of a nine-day religious fast, a practice that reportedly limits his intake to water and lime.

That could make for an awkward evening Monday as the president and others start eating. But officials say they’ve got it covered, though they have not been specific about how.

“We obviously try to be respectful of the needs of all of the high-profile visitors that come to the White House and to be respectful of their observances,” White House spokesman Josh Earnest said Friday.

Earnest suggested the dinner would be more focused on the conversation than the food and would not require the president to dine alone.

“It’s my understanding that we’re talking about a working dinner with a substantial number of people around the table,” Earnest said. “If Prime Minister Modi or other members who are participating in that working dinner choose not to eat based on their own religious or cultural observance, then we’ll certainly work to accommodate their needs as best we can.”— K. Hennessy for the Los Angeles Times, 2014

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

U.S. State Dinner Etiquette

Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

At a State Dinner, the etiquette of the White House is exactly the reverse of the custom at a private dinner. The guests assemble in the East Room and await the President and his wife, who appear at the stroke of the clock. Woe betide the late guest! He has committed a national or international breach of etiquette.

At the table the President is served first, his wife next, then the guests, in order of precedence. An invitation to the White House is a command, and takes precedence of all others, even of a dinner at one's own house. An infringement of this rule would be regarded as a shocking breach of the amenities. The President's sister may be at the helm of the Whits House, as Mrs. McElroy was during President Arthur's administration, and Miss Rose Cleveland (being a part of Mr. Cleveland's first administration); but her position is never like that of the President's wife.

She has much more latitude, and although she follows in a general way the etiquette laid down for the President's wife, she has by no means the recognised official standing of the "first lady of the land." The younger and more inexperienced a woman is when she enters the White House, the more likely she is to succeed; since she is likely to do as she is told, without presuming to act upon her own judgment. This is one secret of Mrs. Cleveland's success. — The Sausalito News, 1897

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette for 19th C. State Dinners

The long White House tables, all dressed up, for a State Dinner being held in honor of Admiral Dewey

State Dinner Etiquette

Just What the Host and Guests are Expected to Do 

The usual hour for a state dinner is 8 p.m. As the guests arrive, which should be fifteen minutes before the hour set, they are shown to the rooms for the removal of wrappings, and descend by the private stairway to the grand corridor and proceed direct to the East Room, where the President and lady await them. 
                                     

Benjamin Harrison was the President of the United States in 1890. This is a photo of the "Harrison Presidential china." For more on Presidential china, read our post on The Etiquette of White House Table Service and State Dinners or Etiquette and Dishing on White House China for State Dinners

Each gentleman, upon entering the room, is handed by an usher, a small envelope containing a card inscribed with the plan of the table and bearing the name of the lady he will escort. On the diagram, the number of the seats he and the lady will occupy are marked. After being received by the President, he examines the card and immediately joins the lady he will accompany to the State Dining Hall. The lady whom he has brought remains with him until her escort appears. 
                                            

"The President with the first lady guest, leads the way to the State Dining Room, followed by the remaining guests. The residing lady, escorted by the principal man, close the line." The first lady guest was the female guest of greatest importance. The residing lady was who is now known as the "First Lady" or "FLOTUS." For more who the original "First Ladies"of Washington D.C. society were, read our post on 19th C. Washington Societal Etiquette Above~ A stereoscopic view of the unset White House tables.

All the guests having arrived at the appointed hour, the steward announces the dinner is in readiness. The President with the first lady guest, leads the way to the State Dining Room, followed by the remaining guests. The residing lady, escorted by the principal man, close the line. The Marine band meanwhile performs a suitable march. In the dining room, the guests find their places and take the seats assigned them by the plate cards, which correspond in location with the diagram handed them upon entering the East Room.

A corner of the East Room, modern day.

There are four services at all State dinners. The dishes in their order are served on silver salvers by waiters, the guests helping themselves. The chief waiter serves the President first, and then proceeds toward the the right, and the second waiter toward the left. The same course is observed on the opposite side of the table, beginning with the presiding lady. No one is ever served twice. The plates of one course are removed as soon as each guest is finished, and the plate for the next is put in its place.

"There are four services at all State Dinners. The dishes in their order are served on silver salvers by waiters, the guests helping themselves."~ The first White House Cookbook was published in 1887. Not only did it have Presidential favorite foods, recipes and the menus from important meals and events held in the Executive Mansion, but it also had "recipes" for cosmetics and cleaners, basic etiquette of the day and tips on child rearing. It really had everything a lady of the Victorian Era ought to know. Its menus, recipes and helpful tips, made this a favorite cookbook of wives across the U.S. 

At the close of dinner, which lasts about three hours, it has been the custom of late years for the gentleman to leave the table with the ladies and not return. The custom during the earlier administrations was for the ladies to have their coffee served in the drawing-room, and for the gentleman to return to drink a single glass of wine to the health of the President. Gentlemen wishing to enjoy a cigar retire during the coffee to the corridor of the foot of the private stairway, but join the ladies when the presiding lady makes the motion to retire. After the promenade through the suite of parlors, the gentlemen surrender the ladies to the gentleman with whom they came, and with their own ladies take leave of the President and his lady. They should receive their wrappings and leave the building quietly and promptly. The last of the guests should have retired within thirty minutes after leaving the table. –From the Washington Star, March 15, 1890 

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette: The Dish on White House State Dinners

December 12, 1874: The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of the Kingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant. 

Early 19th century dinners honoring the President's Cabinet, Congress, or other dignitaries were called 'State Dinners' even though they lacked official foreign representation. Under such conditions, large receptions and dinners were a rare occurrence. Washington D.C. society was a collection of widely separated, isolated villages, and at times almost inaccessible.

 June 8, 1939: Seating arrangements for the State Dinner for George VI of the United Kingdom, hosted by President and Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt...  Months of meticulous planning go into a State Dinner. The guest of honor’s country, culture, and favored preferences are thoroughly researched. The First Lady often chooses the décor and entertainment to highlight a certain aspect of American culture. Together, these considerations are translated into invitations, menus, guest lists, and entertainment. The results can be a form of diplomatic dialogue between the host and guest cultures.

As the times changed, so did the nation’s capital. A series of State Dinners were soon held every winter social season to honor Congress, the Supreme Court, and members of the Diplomatic Corps.

Extravagant floral arrangements and lights decorate the East Room of the White House for the state dinner given by President Theodore Roosevelt in honor of Prince Henry of Prussia in 1902.

In the late 19th century’s Gilded Age, the term ‘State Dinner’ had become synonymous with a dinner hosted by the President honoring a foreign head of state. The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of theKingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant on December 12, 1874. According to Barry H. Landau’s book “The President’s Table,” there were just 36 guests but “as many as 29 courses,” all of them French, which was de rigueur at the time.

The Dish on White House China

Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, an accomplished china painter, designed her own official White House china in 1889 and, what's more, initiated the first continuous White House collection -- by now, what with breakage and pilferage, a fascinating assemblage of remnants.

In 1840, gold table settings became Presidential campaign issue. Helping William Henry Harrison, a simple frontiersman, grab the Presidency from Martin Van Buren. When Benjamin Harrison, his grandson, won the Presidency later, his wife, Caroline Harrison, wanted new White House china that would be “symbolic and meaningful to Americans.” The First Lady, an artist herself, placed the Coat of Arms of the United States in the center of the plates, and designed a goldenrod and corn motif etched in gold around a wide band of blue. The corn represents Mrs. Harrison’s home state of Indiana. Forty-four stars, one for each state at the time, make up the inner border. Mrs. Harrison directed a large-scale remodeling effort of the White House, adding a china closet to display all past Presidential china services. Caroline Harrison was not able to use the china she had ordered, as she died before it was delivered. The china arrived in December 1892.

Over the last 40 or so years, of the First Ladies who tried to supply full services for the usual 120 guest state dinners, very few have succeeded (Betty Ford doesn't count; she was in residence to briefly). Lady Bird Johnson contributed a 220 place wildflower service designed by Tiffany and company, produced by the American from Castleton, and paid for by Jane and Engelhard, the Far Hills, New Jersey, philanthropist.

Lady Bird Johnson is also known as "the first lady of wildflowers" in Texas. Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson held over State Dinners along with weddings for both their daughters while in the White House

Pat Nixon was ready to give Lenox the go ahead for a service Clement Conger helped design but suddenly cancelled; a few days later Nixon resigned.  Rosalynn Carter made do with pieces from this service and that, intending to produce a set of Carter china later. There was no later; she overestimated Jimmy's re-electability. 

Turning the tables for a moment, this photo captures Richard Nixon at a State Dinner in China:  Mr. Nixon and First Lady Pat Nixon gave more State Dinners than any other first couple. “I believe I produced 76,” social secretary Lucy Winchester Breathitt, told Vanity Fair. Nixon was particular about where people sat at his State Dinners. Concerning Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, he noted in a memo: “Henry should not always be put next to the most glamorous woman present.  It’s starting to cause unfavorable talk that serves no useful purpose.”

By the time Nancy Reagan became First Lady, the most complete service, Lady Bird's, was down to 90 settings.  The handsome red and 24 karat gold-rimmed Lenox china -- designed by Nancy Reagan and Ted Graber with the Presidential seal should be around for awhile, even with occasional breakage; the 4,391 pieces include 220 place settings, 19 pieces per place.

Ronald and Nancy Reagan hosted 59 State Dinners in the two Presidential terms they spent in the White House.  Reagan loved to entertain, and preferred to serve California wines.

During the George W. Bush administration, 320 more formals sets sets of china were added for White House State Dinners (and 75 informal sets of china for the private quarters of the White House) though George and Laura Bush held very few State Dinners during their two terms-- only eleven in total.

George W. Bush White House state china in gold rim with a green basket-weave pattern and a historically-inspired gold eagle, manufactured by Lenox.

Dinner for 140

The White House “China Room” in 1918

The ground floor China Room is where the White House collection of china is kept. Even the earliest presidents received government funds to purchase state china. However, by a special clause in the appropriation bills, "decayed furnishings" could be sold and the proceeds used to buy replacements. Such "furnishings" included state china, and during the 19th century the cupboards were frequently swept clean and the contents carted off to auction. The money could then be used to order a new china service that better suited the president and his family.

Even into the 20th century, White House china was often given away if it was chipped or broken. Later, Congress passed a law that required that all presidential china be kept or destroyed. When new dessert plates for the Johnson administration turned out badly, the White House staff smashed it against a basement wall painted with caricatures of the president's assistants.

Today, nearly all presidents are represented in the china collection one way or another. And full services suitable for state dinners exist for the B Harrison, Wilson, FD Roosevelt, Truman, L Johnson, Reagan, and Clinton sets, although the older sets are much smaller than the newer ones and cannot be used for the largest events. Replacement pieces are occasionally ordered for these, as pieces become chipped or broken.

Wilson — 120 settings

FD Roosevelt — 120 settings

Truman — 120 settings

L Johnson — 216 settings

Reagan — 220 settings

Clinton — 300 settings

Bush — 320 setting formal set, 75 setting informal set

Above from the White House Museum.Org

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia