Singled Out by Russian Etiquette

Single women were singled out – Etiquette required that Sofia Kovalevskaya, who went on to become a celebrated mathematician, be married to attend a Russian university. (Image- public domain)

Where Girls Must Marry

In Russia, if a girl desires to study at either of the universities, etiquette requires that she should be married. Accordingly she goes through the civil form of marriage with one of the men students, whom she may never have seen before and perhaps, may never speak to again.

These marriages are perfectly legal, and if the contracting parties like each other, they are united for life, but otherwise the marriage is dissolved when their university course is finished and both are free to marry again. Sofia Kovalevskaya, the celebrated mathematician, went through the civil marriage ceremony with a student whom she then saw for the first time, but who eventually became her husband.— Home Notes, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Culture and Polish

Never ask a man twice to call upon you. If he does not accept your first invitation, take it for granted that he does not care to do so. 

Etiquette and Social Customs:

Useful Points for People in Search of Culture and Polish 

The following, from answers given to correspondents in Harper's Bazaar, cover just such points as many people are interested in: 

While the use of "for" or "to" before the name addressed upon an envelope is not "distinctly bad form," it is certainly unnecessary, and lessens the elegant appearance of a more simple form of address. 

It is certainly not nice form to offer the left hand to an acquaintance while the right is of possible use. 

The receipt of the card from your summer acquaintance leaves you precisely as if she had given you the card in exchange for yours last summer. If you desire to continue the acquaintance, and are the younger woman, call upon her; if not, wait for her to call upon you.

Of all things be simple, quiet and natural in your manner; cultivate a soft toned voice, and do not gesticulate; speak good English before you attempt French; the latter is an accomplishment, the former a necessity. 

An afternoon tea is the most informal of entertainments. You may serve your tea in a special room or all about, as you find most convenient. Serve small napkins with the tea.

A young girl is not supposed to do any entertaining in her own name, unless possibly an informal affair where only other young girls are invited. 

Never ask a man twice to call upon you. If he does not accept your first invitation, take it for granted that he does not care to do so. 

It is better form to ask for a card for your guest, although you may take her to a tea without that formality. 

On a reception day or at a tea you should leave your cards in the card tray in the hall on your departure. 

A lady should rise to greet a gentleman or to bid him farewell in her own house. The proposal to correspond should come from the gentleman. 

No call is necessary in acknowledgment of an afternoon tea. A card left or sent to a tea discharges the obligation. — From The Los Angeles Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia