Etiquette for Stemware and Wine

However one chooses to place the stemware, in American, British or most Continental dining, it is always in the order in which each glass will be used, with the first glasses above the tips of the knives, moving out above the spoons, etc…which is the reverse of the order of utensil placement. In French dining, it is the reverse order with the glasses moving from above the knives, toward the left side of the place setting, all along the top of the place setting. This placement is also used in “wine-tasting dinners.”

What Have We Here? — A formal place setting for a multi-course dinner, showing the wines for the different courses.

The wines and courses would be for the chosen menu as follows:

• Champagne with the Appetizer
• Sherry with the Soup
• Rosé with a Pasta with Shellfish
• Champagne with Sorbet
• Red Wine with the Roasted Quail
• Water with the Salad
• Tokay with Asst. Cheese and Fruit
• Cordial with Flambé Dessert

This is just to be used for instructional purposes. One would never see these wines pre-poured in this manner, prior to the different courses being served.

These glasses are clustered above the utensils and to their right, in the order of use, when setting the table. Stemware can also be “spiked” or lined up in a row coming out from above the utensils (gilded age style), above the place setting (in the French manner), or in a triangle pattern.

However one chooses to place the stemware, in American, British or Continental dining, it is always in the order in which each glass will be used, with the first glasses above the tips of the knives, moving out above the spoons, etc…which is the reverse of the order of utensil placement. 

In French dining, it is the reverse order with the glasses moving from above the knives, toward the left side of the place setting, all along the top of the place setting. This placement is also used in “wine-tasting dinners.”

Each previous glass would be removed prior to the next course, except for the water glass and the champagne.

The champagne can be served as the only wine throughout the meal, after the sherry for the soup course, if a host or hostess prefers.

Or champagne, like water, can be left at the setting throughout the meal, along with any other course specific wine which is being served. – Maura J. Graber, The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, 2025

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 35 years, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Wine and Wine Glass Etiquette

Abby, as a non-wine drinker, I have always turned my wine glass upside down to let the waiter know that I do not wish wine. Otherwise, he is apt to come along and fill my glass while I’m not looking, which is a foolish waste of wine. 

DEAR ABBY: A reader recently asked it it was considered proper etiquette to turn his wine glass upside down at a dinner party, and you said it wasn’t. Abby, as a non-wine drinker, I have always turned my wine glass upside down to let the waiter know that I do not wish wine. Otherwise, he is apt to come along and fill my glass while I’m not looking, which is a foolish waste of wine. It’s just a matter of common sense. You disappointed me. — No Wine in Cedar Rapids, 1979

DEAR NO WINE: I said it ISN’T considered proper etiquette because it isn't. But I’ve often stated that common sense outranks etiquette in my book, and if one must make a choice, go the common sense route— and a pox on etiquette!— Abigail Van Buren in The Desert Sun, 1979

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wine Pouring Etiquette’s Roots

“Way back in feudal times it was a custom, too. In those times, it told a man’s guests that if his flagon of wine was poisoned the contents of his own beaker would prove it.” – Pictured above- The proper positioning and proper number of wine glasses for the dining table, according to a 1940’s Canadian entertaining and etiquette book.

Etiquette of the Bottle

The waiter first pours a little from the newly opened bottle into your host’s glass. Why? Is it to cleanse the bottle of anything which passes off with the pouring of the first glass? No. Way back in feudal times it was a custom, too. In those times it told a man’s guests that if his flagon of wine was poisoned, the contents of his own beaker would prove it. So if a guest didn't see his host doubled up with the cramps, and his face working like a jumping jack, it was safe to conclude that the wine was all right, and the repast might proceed. – The Morning Union News, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Top 20 British Wine Faux Pas

Britain's worst breaches of wine etiquette were revealed in 2015...

From refrigerating red wine to pronouncing the 'T' in Pinot Noir, UK drinkers were “clueless about how to quaff vino, according to a study” - The Telegraph 

In a survey of over 2,000 UK adults by the International Wine Challenge (IWC), it was  found that, among other blunders like adding lemonade to red wine and pronouncing the 't' in Merlot and Pinot Noir, the top twenty wine-drinking faux pas were as follows:

• Using a corkscrew on a screw-cap 
• Putting red wine in the refrigerator 
• Drinking from the bottle
• Asking for ice in your wine 
• Serving in a wine glass with old lipstick stains 
• Chipped glasses 
• Trying to unscrew a cork 
• Taking a cheap bottle to a party 
• Gulping wine rather than sipping it 
• Not bringing a bottle but drinking everyone else's 
• Drinking it out of a tumbler 
• Pouring yourself a glass before pouring others on the table 
• Asking for a slice of lemon 
• Shaking the bottle before serving 
• Asking the waiter to pour you more when they were intending for you to taste it 
• Putting lemonade with red wine 
• Complaining the red wine isn't cold 
• Pronouncing the 't' in Pinot Noir 
• Taking a bottle home with you after it wasn't opened at the host's party
• Pronouncing the 't' in Merlot 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia