More Etiquette and Public Schools

Men who tuck their napkins under their chin, who partake of their soup audibly, and who flourish toothpicks at the table, in the corridors and on the verandas... are to be met with everywhere in this land.

Long on Money, Short on Manners 

At any one of our seashore resorts in the summer, or our winter resort hotels, one may encounter men and women by the score who have been successful in the battle for worldly wealth, but whose early education lacked training in this special direction of refined manners. 

Men who tuck their napkins under their chin, men and women who partake of their soup audibly, and who flourish toothpicks at the table, in the corridors and on the verandas, and even men and women who convey food to the mouth by means of the knife, forgetting that the knife is only appropriate for cutting and not for carrying food, are to be met with everywhere in this land. 

Many of our early Puritan fathers were very indifferent to these matters as they were opposed to all things ornamental and beautiful in life. They taught only the stern virtues, and principles, and an austere religion. The ornamental, the gracious, the courteous sides of life they considered of no value. The New England world has changed many of its ideas in modern times, but it needs to change still more, and to carry its modern ideas still farther, by introducing instruction in good manners into our school systems. 

It is only the exceptionally well bred little boy who does not rush ahead of older people, thrust women and children aside and force himself into public conveyances in a hurry to obtain a seat. Not one small boy in one thousand ever rises and offers an older person a seat. Not more than one in one thousand has been taught to rise when a lady enters a room. 

These small courtesies mark the well bred man when he is grown and their absence marks the boor. The world would be a more agreeable place, and man and women more agreeable companions were our public schools to introduce a department for teaching good manners. —Ella Wheeler - Wilcox 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Etiquipedia

Etiquette Essential to Schools

It would be of great importance to the world at large were the public schools of America to institute a "good manners department” in the kindergarten, the primary and intermediate departments of all schools. — Ella Wheeler–Wilcox

Teaching in School —

Need of Instruction to Make Children More Courteous and Refined 

Training in Good Manners Is Essential to a Country Which Is a Smelting Pot of Offspring from Every Nationality on Earth

OUR school system needs revolutionizing. The community is taxed heavily to support school institutions. The introduction of the drawing master, the music master, the district nurse, the visiting dentist and doctor, all means increased taxes for the people. Most of these innovations on the old school system (which consisted of teaching the "Three R’s  — reading, writing and 'rithmetic" ) are of value to the children —the coming generation of men and women. 

It is, however, the opinion of many thinking people that the time and money expended on the teaching of art in our public schools, might well be reduced to a minimum. Not one child in one hundred possesses sufficient talent in this line to make it worth while to continue the study after school years. The child who does possess such talent would be discovered, were not a whole community taxed and the time of an entire school taken a portion of each day, which might well be devoted to something of more universal value. 

One of the most important things in the education of any man or woman is good manners. Manners which do not offend in dally deportment. A man may know nothing of art and nothing of music and yet not offend his neighbors, though he live to be a hundred years old. But the man who knows nothing of the niceties of good manners at the table, or deportment in public vehicles, or places of entertainment, is a continual annoyance and irritation, to his fellow beings. To eat noisily, to display a toothpick in public, to use the knife where the fork is intended, to crowd in front of women and children, to talk loud in public—all these habits interfere with the general well being. 

It is in the early childhood life that right habits should be taught. It would be of great importance to the world at large were the public schools of America to institute a "good manners department” in the kindergarten, the primary and intermediate departments of all schools. Ten minutes each day given to instruction by short talks and demonstrations on these subjects would accomplish miracles of good. 

Listen to the "gum-chewers," the right way of manipulation of the knife and fork at the table, the right attitudes, the proper use of the napkin... are all matters of much greater importance in the education of the average child than instruction in drawing or in dissection of dead animals. Our country is a smelting pot of every nationality on earth. Our schools are composed of children from all classes and all climes.

Many people come to us whose lives in the old countries have been passed in remote places, far from centers of civilization, where no knowledge is obtainable of the niceties of life. The children are reared by these parents in the same habits which characterized their early environments. A large majority of these children will grow up to be intellectually brilliant men and women, and many of them will occupy prominent places, industrially and politically. It is important that they should be trained in good manners in the small things of life as well as in intelectual development. If young children are made to realize that good manners are regarded as a part of education, they will use their influence upon their parents. —Ella Wheeler - Wilcox, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1920's Kids’ Lunchroom Etiquette

"Girls are usually daintier and more easily taught than boys, but most children will behave badly at table if left to their own devices. Even though they may commit no serious offenses, such as making a mess of their food or themselves, or talking with their mouths full, all children love to crumb bread, flop this way and that in their chairs, knock spoons and forks together, dawdle over their food, feed animals—if any are allowed in the room—or become restless and noisy." Emily Post 1922

School Lunch Room Etiquette for Girls and Boys in 1921

"Cleanness of body was ever deemed to proceed from a due reverence of God." — Bacon

1) See that your hands are clean.

2) Avoid rushing into or through the Lunch Room. Walk.

3) When carrying your food to your table, pay strict attention to getting it to its destination in safety.

4) Eat in the Lunch Room,—not in the corridors, nor in the Assembly Hall, nor on the street. Give four excellent reasons for this direction.

5) Eat slowly and noiselessly; don't "feed." Avoid talking when your mouth is full. Take small mouthfuls, so that you may talk without giving offense. Keep your lips closed when chewing. Never use your knife to carry food to your mouth.

6) In the Lunch Room, as elsewhere, sit with your knees together and with both of your feet on the floor, not on the rounds of your chairs.

7) Don't throw paper and refuse into the receptacles provided; drop it there.

8) Avoid boisterous talking and laughing.

The tones of the voice proclaim quite accurately the social background of the boy, the girl, the man, the woman. Her voice was ever soft, gentle, and low,—an excellent thing in woman.—Shakespeare 

9) Keep elbows and wraps off the Lunch Room tables; furthermore, do not sit on the tables.

10) Leave your place in the Lunch Room tidy and spotless, with your chair pushed up to the table.

11) Rise when an older person enters the room; remain standing until your courtesy is acknowledged, or until the older person is seated. (Optional with the teacher in the schoolroom.)

12) Boys, when a girl or an older person drops a pencil, a book, or anything of the sort, pick it up and return it unobtrusively, but with a little bow.

13) Avoid rushing from the room when the bell rings. Walk.

14) Open the door, boys, but let the girls pass out first, whenever practicable. When many are passing in opposite directions, keep to the right.

15) Never laugh at the accidents or misfortunes of others, even if they have a ridiculous side. Nothing shows ill-breeding so surely. He who laughs at others' woes finds few friends and many foes.

Compiled by contributor Gero-Dynamics©

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia