National Guard Battles Bad Manners

Then things grew warm, for if there is one thing that Captain Sullivan prides himself on it is his ability to behave as a gentleman, and as for his table etiquette- well, he just simply defies any one to prove that he is not on to the very latest wrinkles. Of course the captain’s friends have implicit faith in him and stand ready to back him against Ward McAllister if necessary, but then Adjutant Delaney’s have not, and they are making every possible use of Colonel Barry's insinuations. – Public domain image of the California National Guard logo

LACK OF MANNERS

Why a Captain May Not Be a Major

THIRD REGIMENT TROUBLES

One Officer Insinuates That Another May Eat Pie With a Knife

To be a member of the National Guard and not to be mixed up in some sort of internal row is considered the greatest kind of a disgrace just now.

First the Light Battery privates became mixed up with their superiors; then the boys over in Oakland took a hand in the affair and began to call each other choice and pet names and now a big dark war cloud is hovering over the Third Regiment.

It is over an election that the Third Regiment folks seem fated to quarrel.

The Legislature at the last session, perhaps with the purpose in view of providing additional attractions to the feminine eye during the summer encampments, created the office of junior major in each regiment in the State.

When the time came for the filling of the office in the Third Regiment two persons appeared up as aspirants for it.

One was William M. Sullivan, at present captain of Company D, and the other William P. Delaney, the present adjutant.

Immediately the officers took sides, and when a count of noses was made it was found that the Sullivan end was the stronger.

Then Colonel Barry waxed wroth. The colonel is a supporter of Delaney and it grieved him to learn that a majority of his subordinate officers was not in sympathy with him.

It was during Colonel Barry's angry moments that the great trouble started.

“Elect this fellow Sullivan major of my regiment,” exclaimed the colonel. “No, never while I have a thing to do with it,” and then in a quiet way he proceeded to make known his objections to the “fellow Sullivan.”

Among them were insinuations that “D” company’s captain was a bit short on manners. That he knew but little of table etiquette, and that were he to gain the coveted office the regiment, could never again shine socially.

Now had Colonel Barry made his remarks in the presence of his own friends only, or, better still, to himself in the secrecy of his boudoir, all might have gone well. But then he didn't. He made them in the presence of a number of people among whom were a few of Sullivan’s friends, and they of course immediately carried the tale to him.

Then things grew warm, for if there is one thing that Captain Sullivan prides himself on it is his ability to behave as a gentleman, and as for his table etiquette- well, he just simply defies any one to prove that he is not on to the very latest wrinkles. Of course the captain’s friends have implicit faith in him and stand ready to back him against Ward McAllister if necessary, but then Adjutant Delaney's have not, and they are making every possible use of Colonel Barry’s insinuations.

They recite the adjutant’s many acts of gallantry; tell of his dancing ability, the graceful manner in which he acts at table and of his captivating manners while in the company of the fair sex, and in the most sarcastic manner they inquire what Sullivan has to say for himself.

Then Sullivan’s friends take a turn at talking. They begin by denying all the charges against their man, and they take a shy at his opponent, but all this talk is doing little to solve the much-mooted question, and among the disinterested a doubt still exists as to whether Captain Sullivan be a man overburdened with good manners, or if he be one who eats pie with a knife, uses a napkin for a facecloth and wears his hat in a parlor, or Colonel Barry be a little hasty.

It has been found necessary to postpone the election in order to solve the knotty question, - San Francisco Call, 1893

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Etiquette of Eating

In taking your place at the table you should not get too close nor to far away. Some authorities say a foot is about the proper distance, but you may not desire to wait to have the measure taken, it is best to make sure that you get in reach of it. If you do not drink wine it is best not to deliver a temperance lecture to those who do. In partaking of fruits, such as oranges, cut them into small morsels before eating and never swallow them whole. – Above, 2 different types of gilded age silver “orange holders” from the book, What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond... 

Almost any one can eat, but to eat according to the established rules of good society is another story. If you happen to discover that a great man eats pie with his knife, do not follow his example in the hope of acquiring greatness, for ten to one that is not how he came to be great.

The first thing to be considered is how to get to the table. In the rush it is considered bad form to get ahead of the ladies. Give them a chance. In taking your place at the table you should not get too close nor to far away. Some authorities say a foot is about the proper distance, but you may not desire to wait to have the measure taken, it is best to make sure that you get in reach of it. If you do not drink wine it is best not to deliver a temperance lecture to those who do. In partaking of fruits, such as oranges, cut them into small morsels before eating and never swallow them whole.

Never attempt to talk when the mouth is full If you are spoken to when in such a predicament it is best - provided you are not familiar with the deaf and dumb alphabet - to quietly and unostentatiously slip the morsel from your mouth and drop it under the table; but in case it be something you are loath to surrender, you might place it in charge of some reliable person till you have finished your discourse. In matters of this kind you will have to depend largely argely upon your own tact, as no iron-bound rules can be given.

Remember that you are not supposed to quit eating simply because you have gotten enough. You must have sufficient regard for the feelings of others to go on making a pretense at eating till all have finished. I have this from good authority. and though it may seem that if all adhere to this rule there would be no end to the feast - that it would result in an endless chain that would reach into the misty realms of futurity - yet experience has proved that there will always be one ill-bred person present who has no more sense than to quit when he gets enough, and so furnish a pretext for those of gentle breeding to bring the agony to a close. – Marysville Daily Appeal, 1898

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Table Etiquette

“A good rule is to use the fork almost constantly, and put only a little upon it at a time. In this way the food is conveyed to the mouth– never with the knife–although in some countries the knife is still used, even amongst royalty.”

A Few of the Things Every Self-Respecting Person Should Know

Table etiquette is almost a science nowadays, and it is necessary to conform to its laws. A good rule is to use the fork almost constantly, and put only a little upon it at a time. In this way the food is conveyed to the mouth– never with the knife–although in some countries the knife is still used, even amongst royalty. If you have strawberries and cream, soup, melons, stewed fruit, preserved fruit, preserves and jellies, eat them with a spoon. These things, because of their juiciness, can not be eaten with a fork. 

Fish should be eaten with a knife and fork, and every well-regulated house, when it serves oysters on the half shell, will place a small, silver fork beside each guest’s plate. When the hostess serves strawberries with the green stems, then they are invariably to be taken up in the fingers (by the stem) and eaten one at a time. Fruit like pears and apples is first peeled, then quartered, and then taken up in the fingers and eaten. 

With salads, the knife and fork are used, if the salad has not been cut up before being served. No hostess who understands table etiquette, nor a waiter who has been well trained, will ever think of offering you more than a ladleful of soup, and if you are at a private or fashionable dinner (anywhere except hotel), and the dinner is too hot, or you do not happen to like a certain dish after it has been served, pretend to eat it, and this consideration on your part will make you the everlasting friend of the host and hostess. 

Don’t stop short and sit back in your chair. That is the most embarrassing kind of embarrassment for both yourself, your host and your associates. These are a few of the things every body should know.- By Farm and Fireside, 1889

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table Manners of 1880

Corn on the cob, even today, is not a normal item at a formal meal— it is too messy. Yet, some Victorian hostesses did serve corn on the cob. There were several ways of handling corn on the cob. One was to use the silver cob holders shown. These worked exactly like the plastic cob holders the fastidious use on picnics to day. At least one 1880s etiquette book favored serving corn on the cob, noting, “A lady who gives many elegant dinners at Newport causes to be laid beside the plate of each guest two little silver-gilt spike-like arrangements. Each person then places these in either end of the corn-cob and eats his corn holding it by two silver handles.” Some etiquette writers advised people to use a knife to cut the kernels off the cob and then eat the loose kernels with a fork. The corn fork (bottom middle of photo) reflects another approach. The center portion of this large fork was designed to be used in scraping the corn kernels from the cob. The fork could then be used to eat the loose kernels. As a design, it was a success, the scraper worked quite well. How ever, it was a product for which there was no real market. Few diners wanted to go to that much trouble for corn so the fork sold very poorly and today is almost impossible to find.— From “Forgotten Elegance,” 2003

One of the surest tests of refinement is the test of eating. There may possibly be persona of taste and delicacy who are careless of the table and careless at the table, but they are black swans, exceptions which prove the rule. This test is as applicable to brutes as to men. There is as much difference in tke refinement of individuals of the canine and bovine and feline species as in those of the human species; and this difference is seen most plainly in their personal habits, and particularly in their habits of eating. Even in that omnivorous animal, the pig, we find this statement verified. 

An aristocratic pig is dainty at the trough, and refuses food if not up to grade or served in a slovenly style. There is no pain of the social sort more exquisite than the pain endured by a sensitive and refined nature when by stress of circumstances it is compelled to feed on husks and with swine. This was the crowning agony that brought the prodigal son to himself and influenced him to return to his father’s house, where the servants had good food and to spare. 

To some, good table manners come by nature; to others only by training. Those who are born with a delicate sense of taste and smell, with fine organizations and limited powers of digestion, are naturally particular about their eating, and prefer starvation to indulgence in anything “common or unclean.” Others in whom all the senses are dull and whose bodies are coarsely made, are easily pleased, and have no difficulty in eating whatever is set before them, asking no questions for conscience’s or any other sake. This latter class, unfortunately quite too numerous for the comfort of the former, though not perhaps too many for the rough fare and work of the world, are proper subjects for culture in table manners. 

It was doubtless in the interest of this class our correspondent wrote, at whose earnest request a few hints are here printed. Any one who will from principle and by habit keep the Ten Commandments will have no doubts as to their worth to the world, and their divine origin. “If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine.” The formation of a habit creates a sentiment. It may take a long time to form it, but the habit once formed, a settlement will grow up and twine round it as the ivy graces the oak. This is why mothers who seek to develop good table manners in their children, will first provide good table appointments, and carefully prepared and daintily served food, and will thus insist upon good behavior. 

These three things insisted on, will in time, create a sentiment in the minds of children that will make correct table manners a second nature.

• 1. As to table appointments.– The cloth, should be scrupulously clean, though it be only coarse material; nicely starched and ironed, and put on straight, its folds parallel with the sides of the table, and they with the sides of the room. The napkins, of however coarse material, must also be clean, carefully ironed and put on in place. The arrangement of the dishes on the table must be uniform, regular and tasteful, each dish, plate, spoon, glass, being in its appointed place and kept there. Any one accustomed to orderly appointments by habit soon learns to feel the necessity of taste and exactitude. These are fearfully neglected in many families. Table furniture of all sorts is hustled on without regard to appearance or order, the napery is disgusting, the carelessness in disposing it equally so, and the results are only such as might be expected. 
• 2. As to the food.– It is impossible to feel polite and well-mannered over unpalatable, coarse, ill-prepared, indigestible food. Every mouthful of it provokes ill-humor, resentment, dissatisfaction. The house mother who insists on good table manners must give her family good food. There is no need of sour bread, muddy coffee, soggy potatoes, heavy pie-crust, leathery batter cakes. Chesterfield himself would forget his manners if compelled for any length of time to subsist on such a diet. 
• 3. As to methods of eating.– With the assistance of the knife and fork the food may be so divided as to relieve the incisors of the heaviest part of their work, and make small mouthfuls a pleasure. The grinders indicate that grinding in the mouth is a part of the process of nutrition. Animals destitute of grinders bolt their food. It is not fitting that human beings cat as dogs do, since they have each a “mill” ready for use—which dogs have not. The lips are so constructed that the noise of the grinding, which is intolerable to ears polite, may be effectually disguised. This is a point that cannot be too urgently insisted on. 

Food, whether liquid or solid, must be conveyed into the mouth and from the month downward silently. The position at table should be unconstrained and easy, the person sitting erect or slightly bent forward when eating, so that the mouth may be directly above the plate; the arms should be held at the side, not extended at right angles with the body. The elbows should be kept off the table. Leave-taking is admissible only by permission of the hostess. 

Table talk should be light, agreeable, general, each person present contributing his or her quota to the general fund, and children observing the excellent rule of being “seen and not heard,” unless they are in such majority that the conversation is keyed to their level. Parents who will be at the pains to set their children such examples as they wish to see followed, and will themselves conform ta a high standard of table etiquette, will have little difficulty in attaining the results of culture they all desire. — N. Y. Tribune, 1880

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Sentenced to Teaching Etiquette

“I was well raised. Among other things, I learned not to eat without a fork. Thoughtless persons frequently hand food out of the kitchen, but forget the fork.”

                                 

Gilded Age Etiquette Humor or Why He Stole a Fork...

• Judge—You are accused of stealing. You went to this man’s house and asked for a bite to eat. It was given you and you put a silver fork in your pocket. Is this true? 
• Prisoner—All true, Your Honor. But hearken, I am no common thief. I was forced by a sense of duty to society to take the fork. May I explain? 
• Judge—You may. 
• Prisoner — I was well raised. Among other things, I learned not to eat without a fork. Thoughtless persons frequently hand food out of the kitchen, but forget the fork. It was to protect myself from outraging social usages that I took one. Is the explanation satisfactory? 
• Judge—Yes. You may instruct the county prisoners in etiquette for thirty days. – Omaha Herald, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Finger Foods

 

For olives, the forks, spears and spoons are for serving only.

There are a number of things that the most fashionable and well-bred people now eat at dinner table with their fingers. They are: 

• Olives, to which a fork should never be applied. 
• Asparagus, whether hot or cold, when served whole, as it should be. 
• Lettuce, which should be dipped in the dressing or in a little salt. 
• Celery, which may properly be placed on the table-cloth beside the plate. 
• Strawberries when served with the stems on, as they often are. 
• Bread, toast and all tarts and small cakes. 
• Fruits, of all kinds, except melons and preserves, which are eaten with a spoon. 
• Cheese, which is almost invariably eaten with the fingers by the most particular people. 
• Even the leg or other small piece of a bird is taken in the fingers at fashionable dinners, and at most of the luncheons ladies pick small pieces of chicken without using a fork. — Exchange, 1888

Etiquette. Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia