An Interview with Nancy Hoogenboom

If you are familiar with the @daily.etiquette Instagram feed, then you’ve probably seen Nancy Hoogenboom’s colorful and fun posts, filled with fascinators, flowers and fun! Nancy was one of our two “Blue Ribbon” winners from the Etiquette Community for our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. 

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Nancy Hoogenboom is the founder and CEO of Daily Etiquette, a Southern California School of Etiquette and Protocol. In addition to being a certified etiquette trainer, she is a speaker, author, consultant, and coach. According to her website, “Nancy makes etiquette relevant for today’s society in social media, personal interaction, and social and professional settings. By bringing the basics of etiquette into the day to day activities of our lives, Nancy is able to show new insights in communication with those in our lives.”

Congratulations, Nancy!

Nancy’s place setting is ‘all dressed up and ready to celebrate’ something, by all appearances and the colors used in many of the elements.

As Nancy did not provide a menu for us, we had to guess what she might be serving at this festive place setting. Nancy’s setting looks as if it jumped off the pages of a website or holiday catalog, with the metallic gold welcoming the guest with a festive, visual splash. This could be done with glossy silver, copper, brass or bronze elements and still retain the celebratory feeling this evokes (If another element were to be used, I would recommend an ivory, or the palest grey, table cloth, place mat or runner when using silver or bronze elements – and more of a bright white for copper or brass.) The “Thankful” written across the bread plate makes me immediately think of the Autumn and Winter holiday season. 

If it is for a holiday dinner, it is done very subtly, without the use of any whimsical holiday decor or tchotchkes. The kumquats in the water are a subtle nod to winter months and blend seamlessly with the color scheme. That is not easy, as those decorative items, if poorly chosen, can lessen the overall look of one’s holiday table. If you’re having just family and good friends, all of those items you’ve saved over the years –the ones that your children or grandchildren made in school– can be wonderful and make your table homey, as well as attractive. If you’re going for a much more formal and upscale look, leave the kids’ art projects off of the dining table.

This setting has a teaspoon, which is automatically considered superfluous, unless there is a course which would require a teaspoon. However, a bowl is the first dish that will be used. Not being a soup spoon, in any size or shape, it would have to be for some sort of food that would require a large round bowl, but not a spoon with a large round bowl.

A few etiquette notes on Nancy’s setting: 

Specificity on what will be served, and when, is always helpful when imagining how well a place setting suits a menu. This setting has a teaspoon, which is automatically considered superfluous, unless there is a course which would require a teaspoon. However, a bowl is the first dish that will be used. Not being a soup spoon, in any size or shape, it would have to be for some sort of food that would require a large round bowl, but not a spoon with a large round bowl. It’s possible her set did not have the proper spoon for the bowl or vice versa, or the dish requires the teaspoon, as a helper, for the salad-sized fork. I just had to guess. Which brings me to the bowl…

Regular readers of mine of the @Etiquipedia Instagram feed, know that one of my biggest pet peeves is a dish or utensil, of any kind, placed atop the napkin. Dishes or utensils do not belong atop napkins for the simple reason that one’s guests should be able to sit, lift their napkins, place them in their laps and begin dining. They should not have to sit, lift up whatever sits atop the napkins with one hand, then hold them or figure out where to place them, while with the other hand, remove their napkins and try to gracefully lay them across their laps, all before beginning to dine. Guests should never have to re-lay a table, but that’s what they’re forced to do when napkins are “artistically” placed beneath flatware and dishes. 

I forgave this faux pas, as 1.We had no menu. 2.We were given no “story” regarding how this meal would be served. And 3.I have seen it work before; once at a holiday dinner with a hearty stew in a bowl served buffet/style for the first course only, while guests watched a holiday lights boat show prior to the seated dinner, and again at a buffet bridal luncheon, when the crudités / amuse bouche plates were atop the napkins. People milled around chatting, partaking of the first course, while napkins were moved to the chairs, prior to everyone being seated for the luncheon. 

Again, those were the only two times I can remember that it worked. Most times, this does not work and many people, especially in the case of plates atop napkins, wind up not removing the napkins, and resort to just wiping their fingers on these napkins sticking out from underneath plates or utensils, which tend to resemble untucked shirts.

The fabric of the napkin is not technically proper for a dinner napkin, though I cannot be certain just by seeing it as it sits under the bowl. It may be the gold fabric on one side and a damask on the reverse. An argument can also be made though, for the need for such a napkin, adding to the festive look of a holiday table – and we have seen designers use lamé in competitive settings of the early 1900’s.

The napkin is not technically proper for a dinner napkin, though I cannot be certain just by seeing it as it sits under the bowl. Could it be gold fabric on one side and a damask on the reverse?

I was pleased to see the butter spreader placed on the “bread plate” correctly. Too many hosts and hostesses have taken to placing these spreaders in a vertical manner (à la caterers or cruise lines), which is incorrect. Historically, any knife should face toward the diner or his / her plate. Blades of knives should never point toward anyone else at the table. 

I overlooked the fact that the bread plate is more of a salad size. In fact, I didn’t even notice that the plate was too big until I saw the photo from a different angle. After judging, I was shown the settings with who had created them in the photos. That was when the size of the plate for bread really jumped out at me. It’s a tad smaller than the dinner plate. It’s funny, but little details like this separate the beautiful, correct and functional place settings from the rare, perfect place settings.

An optical illusion… Placemats are not meant to go atop tablecloths or table runners. The fact that this placemat looks more like a decorative trivet, works in its favor and it shows lots of the table covering. That makes this a natural fit for the table. It actually helps the table look sparse and uncluttered.  

Other little details which are not technically correct but allowable in my eyes? 

• The salt and pepper are too close to the glassware for my comfort, however the table elements are sparse enough that they dont seem too out of place. Ideally they should be somewhere in the upper to mid-left third of the place setting. (Directly to the right of the bread plate, above the left rim of the dinner plate or in the mid point, horizontally and vertically from the next place setting to the left, to be shared with the person sitting next to you.)

• This table appears to have a lot of room though, and it’s a visual trick… an optical illusion… that is giving this a roomier appearance. The “placemat” is part of this illusion. Placemats are not meant to go atop tablecloths or table runners. The fact that this placemat looks more like a decorative trivet, works in its favor and it shows lots of the table covering. That makes this a natural fit for the table. It actually helps the table look sparse and uncluttered. 

• There are only two glasses at the place setting, adding to an uncluttered look. Again, not having a menu leaves me to guess that the glasses are correct. I have to give the benefit of doubt. 

•  And lastly, the candle wicks have not been burnt. If you are in the category of numerous armchair judges who are horrified at the untouched wicks, it has been a good hundred and fifty years since it was considered a social crime to show off your wealth by the gauche display of unburnt wicks on candles in one’s homes. I have never marked points off for non-burnt wicks. That being said, I think wicks which have been burnt down a bit, giving the candles just a slight dip and hint of melted wax on top, have a very pleasing aesthetic look to them. They just look a bit nicer when burnt, but are no longer an etiquette issue if not.

4 Questions for Nancy

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life?

I have always enjoyed a creative place setting since I can remember, the laughter that filled the room as we sat and enjoyed friendship and food around the table. I have fond memories of my mom having the most elegant tea parties for families and friends as we sat and enjoyed savory tea sandwiches, scones with cream and jam, fruit tarts, mini-cakes and delightful conversations.

As I began to educate myself about etiquette and modern manners, the reason’s behind “The Art of The Place Setting” was extremely interesting and intriguing. As a Certified Etiquette and Modern Manners Trainer and Coach, I now have the pleasure to teach others the beautiful “Art of The Table Settings.”

2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting and why?
I choose the various elements for my table setting form our home. I enjoy using items I have already in my home and garden, from crystal wine glasses and china we were given as wedding gifts 39 years ago to modern place table setting pieces including greenery and flowers from our garden. I enjoy mixing vintage and modern pieces to make a unique and inviting table setting.

3. How, if at all, did Covid related social restrictions affect your choice of setting? Were you ready to celebrate? Feeling in the mood to do something different? Etc…
The pandemic has been a challenge in many ways, as far as the meal, finding unique food items at our local stores was not as assessable. I was inspired by a wedding menu we attended and made it my own.

4. Do you plan on entering again next year?
I’m excited for the next International Place Setting Competition, I already have exciting ideas for what I am planning. Such a joy to see all the talented place settings entered, I’m inspired seeing and reading about each participant’s story.

Thank you Maura Graber of etiquipedia.blogspot.com @Etiquipedia and Elizabeth Soos, professor at the Auersmont School of Etiquette in Australia @auersmont_schooofetiquette for hosting The First Annual Etiquipedia International Place Setting Competition. I was honored to participate and delighted to see all the incredible ancient to modern place settings.

Thank you again for Maura and Elizabeth, this has been delightful competition!

Elizabeth Soos and I would both like to congratulate Nancy on her wonderfully festive Blue Ribbon winning place setting. We are looking forward to see what Nancy comes up with for next year’s competition, without the constraints that Covid-19 brought us!

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Interview with Elena Gorelik

Unexpectedly, we had a tie for the Best in Show Winner for the Amateur Community in our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. Our second of the tie-winning tables is that of Elena Gorelik of Russia. Elena is shown above with her historical themed, dinner place setting. After reading her bio, we realized Elena would have been a better fit in the “Professional” category, as opposed to Amateur, but we don’t know how well everything translates in other languages. And “Professional” means different things to different people. Next year, with her new business venture though, she will definitely be placed in (and fit in beautifully!) to the “Professional” or “Etiquette Community” categories.
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Elena Gorelik lives in Moscow, Russia. In the 1990s-2000s she made a career as a Personal Assistant to CEOs and Boards of Directors for airline companies. She was in charge of protocol procedures and office hospitality at the top levels of management. In the 2010s Elena worked in the Marriott Moscow Royal Aurora Hotel (5*) as a Department Head of the Food and Beverage Service. Now, Elena is developing a business as a tabletop stylist for table settings and home events, in order to help women feel confident and provide the best version of hospitality to their families and guests. You can find her @serviruem on Instagram.

Elena’s place setting intrigued me from my first look. Antique flatware is always inviting, and it looked lovely with the chosen complementary antique elements, like the stemware and other pieces on the table. The menu was interesting and all were excellent choices for the era chosen.

This envisioned dinner and place setting for the menu was for Peter Durnovo. Durnovo was, over his lifetime, an Imperial Russian lawyer, politician, ambassador and statesman. He was also a member of the Russian nobility, belonging to House of Durnovo and, in 1915, he was the last Russian Imperial Minister of Interior to die from natural causes. Six successors were all killed during the Revolution and Red Terror, from 1918-1922.

The setting has almost a masculine look to it; it’s not fussy in the least, even with the antique flatware. The dark colors and equally dark patina on the flatware mixes very well together. One can just imagine 19th century diplomats and politicians, discussing weighty matters over a late meal at this setting, and several others exactly like it at the table.

MENU

Champignon Cream Soup

Potato Croquettes

Pozharsky Cutlet garnished with Potatoes, Beans and Peas

Fried Duck and Hazel Grouse

Boiled Artichokes

Hot Vanilla Creme

Wrote Elena, “ I have made this place setting for a historical home dinner of November 30th, 1857. I took its menu from the book about Mr. Peter Durnovo, a member of the State Council of the Russian Empire.”

A few etiquette notes on Elena’s setting: 

Elena’s choice of old flatware added to the overall beautiful look. There was one element of the place setting that was correct, while also incorrect at the same time… The soup spoon placed where it was, was correct. The size and type of soup spoon was incorrect as it does not correspond with the soup bowl. It is a creamy soup, and that is and oval dessert or cream soup spoon, however the bowl is the incorrect size. That being said, in 1857, it would be hard to find a household with a large variety of soup spoons.

A small, round-bowled, bouillon spoon or a larger, round-bowled cream soup spoon would have been more appropriate for eating soup from this soup bowl, however most households this early into the Victorian era didn’t usually have more than one or two sizes of soup spoons, and did not have the 5 or 6 different varieties commonly seen later in the 1800’s and early 1900’s.

Looking at the spoon, tends to only make the size stand out more, dwarfing the smaller knife and fork, acting as a “bird set”, for the Pozharsky Cutlet, which is on the menu after the soup. But again, this may not have been an era in which the soup spoon would have been available for this type of bowl in Russia. I have to defer to her knowledge of Russian flatware until I can investigate soup spoon history there.

The size of the large Damask napkin is the appropriate size for a formal dinner, and often missed by many people. It is folded narrowly, but I can tell by the amount of folds, about how large it is when opened up.

The largest of napkins are the correct choice for formal dinner settings.

  

The stemware and other glass appears period and the design on the stemware is very subtle, adding to the overall antique look for this inviting place setting.

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life? 

 

I started from the table setting for my dolls when I was a very little  girl. I had a toy table and chairs, some toy food and a lovely doll china set.  Since I was 5 or 6 years old, my grandmother delegated me setting a table for all home parties and for family’s Sunday dinners as well (a table for 5).

 

Like many families in the Soviet Union, ours had some holidays-only dishes and others for everyday meals. I really enjoyed floral porcelain plates and teacups. I loved to be on duty for setting a table, yet I did not know any of the strict etiquette rules then.

 

First time I learned how to set a table properly was at school. Those days, girls had a course on housekeeping. I was so excited to study how to place forks and knives, what types of plates exist and other basic rules of dining etiquette. It made me a family expert on table setting.

 

The most useful course I took at the Secretary School. – It was a Diplomatic Protocol delivered by an officer from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Meanwhile, I read a lot – in the early 90s we got foreign books on etiquette available here in Russia.  

 

Then my working experience gave me many chances for practice.

 

2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting and why?

 

I decided on a historical setting from the very beginning because I like to learn details of everyday life in the past. So, I was looking for a good source of such information, and I was super lucky to find it.

 

I used old family china, glass and silver, the most “historical” of what I had at home. Of course, I had to add some modern items, for example I took the crystal service plate and vase because I thought they would look appropriate to the chosen legend, I mean the time and social status of the heroes.

 

 

3. How, if at all, did Covid related social restrictions affect your choice of setting? Were you ready to celebrate? Feeling in the mood to do something different? Etc…

 

Not much actually. As I said, I needed a reliable source of data, so I chose and pre-ordered several books at the Russian State Library’s site.

 

Big libraries in Moscow were already open and worked almost normally, we just had to follow some procedures like temperature measurement at the entrance, keeping the social distance and wearing masks and gloves the whole time of visit.

 

Of course, it was not as comfortable as usually, so I tried to do everything quickly. That is why I missed the information about drinks first and had to make a library trip once more.

 

As for my mood, the contest cheered me up. I felt very inspired and involved. However, I did understand the low spirits of people from the countries where longer lockdowns were still in force. 

 

4. Same for the menu chosen as question number three… Did Covid related social restrictions affect your menu choices at all? 

 

The menu was my biggest concern and then my biggest luck. The book contained original dinner menus; I just copied those sounded more or less clear to me (because some of them were rather weird) and then made my choice. 

 

As for the drinks, they were not on the menu, so that issue required more investigation, analysis, and some kind of deductive method, I would say.

 

5. If yours was a historical setting, why did you choose that particular period in time?

 

My favorite epoch in Russian history is the 19^thcentury, and Saint Petersburg is a city I am in love with. When I found such a detailed description of family dinners from that very city in that very time (1850s), I could not wish for more.

 

6. Do you plan on entering again next year?

 

Oh, yes, I would love to participate again because I feel it inside as a challenge, an adventure, and enjoyment – all in one. Let me thank you Maura and your co-sponsor Elizabeth for hosting the contest and for choosing my place setting as the best in the show.

 

You are most welcome, Elena. Elizabeth and I both wish you great success in your new business venture! – Maura Graber

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Interview with Tatyana Gresserova

Unexpectedly, we had a tie for the Best in Show Winner for the Amateur Community in our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. Our first of the tie-winning tables is that of  Tatyana Gresserova of Russia. Tatyana is shown above with her historical themed, dinner place setting.

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Meet Tatyana Gresserova from Saint Petersburg, Russia. She is an English teacher at a school in Russia. She has long been interested in etiquette and manners, and reads books and blogs on etiquette and manners, both in Russian and in English. She’s been acquainted with the etiquipedia.blogspot.com for some time, “long before I followed it on Instagram.” Tatyana said, “I have a family: my husband (a restaurant manager in the past, so he also has a taste in fine table setting and great dinners) and two daughters. My parents live near and they are usual guests at our place, as well as our numerous friends. With COVID situation now our dinners became rare and are only for close ones. But it was in quarantine period when we all were at home that we made beautifully set meals our usual everyday practice! And I hope we’ll keep it for long!”

I was absolutely delighted from the start with Tatyana’s place setting entry. It had such a creative theme! As I had been waiting until all of the entries were in to start judging the settings, I didn’t learn of the theme until I actually started looking carefully each place setting and menu. 

The envisioned dinner, hosted by Ernest and Wallis Simpson, with HRH Prince Edward on the guest list, was inspired. I found the menu interesting, without being pretentious. I’m not certain I would choose these differing dishes to be served together at the same dinner, however, if I were to see them offered at a buffet, I’d probably sample more than a bit of each. They are all favorites of mine!

Elegant dinner with traditional American menu
Event: the Independence Day
Date: 4th of July, 1933
Place: London, the UK
Hosts: Ernest and Wallis Simpson
Guests: HRH Prince Edward, 7 more guests

Aperitif: 2 cocktails

Soup:
Black bean soup

Fish:
Grilled salmon
served with Chardonnay blanc

Entree:
Maryland fried chicken
served with champagne rose brut

Entremen:
Chilled raspberry soufflé
served with liqueur

“Wallis Simpson is a contradictory historical figure whose life story is still full of mysteries. Yet it is well known that she was an extraordinary hostess and her parties were of great success. As a hostess, she was highly attentive to the details. By the time she was giving this dinner at their flat she had already been aware of Prince’s tastes and food preferences. Thus she knew that he was fond of simple food of fish and meat. And she chose American cuisine due to the occasion and in honour of the country she was born.”

A few etiquette notes on Tatyana’s setting: 

The overall simplicity of the place setting was perfect for the time period. The U.S. was in the grip of The Great Depression, and simplicity had become expected. Prohibition was still enforced in the U.S. until December of 1933, but I imagine a hostess like Wallis Simpson would have creatively found her way around something so bothersome as the law, and served alcohol to her guests. Especially, with the Prince on the menu… excuse me… on the guest list!

Tatyana’s everyday flatware at home fits in perfectly as 1930’s era flatware designs. The flatware patterns, even in sterling silver from 1933, were remarkably plain. These below are all from 1933, and advertised on Replacements.com. Anything fancier, or more ornamental, would have been incorrect to achieve the streamlined look from that era. The size of the napkin appears a bit small for a formal dinner, however that could be an optical illusion. I cannot really tell, by the way it is folded.

“By the mid-1930s the elaborate patterns and ornament of Art Deco were out. Sleek lines and simple, rounded curves were in. In clothing, too, efficiency and simplicity were key words. Americans began to buy low-cost copies of French fashions, or they made their own. In the late 1930s, this simplicity would emerge as a distinctively American style.” – www.encyclopedia.com

The heavyweight, patterned tablecloth made a great background for the streamlined glass beverage ware and ceramic ware, as did the patterned glass under-plate for the soup bowl. Those elements, along with the patterned glass of the salt and peppers, added interest to the overall look. Without any actual vintage 1930’s elements, Tatyana managed to create an authentic 1930’s “look.” Brava!

Four questions for Tatyana–

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life?

I think that my interest to beautifully set table is from my childhood. In my grandparents’ home there was a tradition to have dinner every weekend and all family, friends and colleagues were invited. The dining room was small but they usually had 15-20 people at the table. As a child I was in charge of setting the it. It was a hard task as there were no sets of 20 plates or cutlery, so I learnt to be creative! And it was my grandfather who spoke to me of the importance of etiquette rules, especially table manners. Now I understand that my grandparents were perfect hosts and that inspired me to finish a 4-months course at Austrian School of Etiquette in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting and why?

I was very eager to take part in this competition as it combines everything I love: history, outstanding dinners, beautifully set table, strict etiquette rules! And the fact that I don’t have neither vintage dishes nor silver (as I live far from my hometown Omsk and have got only new things at home) didn’t stop me. So I had to use what I had at home. Now I can see the difference between those grand dinners of the beginning of 20th century and our “minimalistic” dinners. The things you see in my setting are the things we use for our everyday meals as well as for our dinners with family and friends.

3. If yours was a historical setting, why did you choose that particular period in time?

My choice of a historical event was not accidental. I have long heard of Wallis Simpson as the host of the most elegant dinner parties in London. To find the details of her famous dinners, I read Arina Polyakova's book “How to Steal the King? The Wallis Simpson Story ”and watched several films and documentaries about Wallis.

The idea of choosing an aristocratic American woman who is trying to enter high English society, learning new rules of etiquette and retaining her identity, seemed very close to me. Probably, this is how I feel myself, studying the rules of etiquette and balancing between Russian and English cultures.

In preparation for the competition, I studied in detail the American and British dinners of the first half of the 20th century (by the way, I took a lot of information on etiquipedia.blogspot.com), learned the traditional recipes of that time, as well as the secrets of a successful dinner from Wallis Simpson.

The problem arose when I tried to invent the appropriate menu for the event. The flight of my imagination was prevented by the lack of the necessary cutlery: spoons for oysters, forks for lobsters. (The price of oysters, lobsters and crabs is so high that I hardly will use these devices in the near future, and I did not want to buy it just for a photo.)

6. Do you plan on entering again next year?

I am sure to enter the competition again next year! It was such a great experience and I can’t stop reading of historical dinners and looking for real menus and forgotten recipes of the past! I’m so grateful to the organisers for bringing such a pleasure and inspiration into my life!

Elizabeth Soos and I are equally grateful for your enthusiasm, Tatyana. We are thankful to you, and all of our entrants, for your participation and congratulate you on your award winning design! 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Interview with Victoria B. Edwards

If you are familiar with the @EdwardsEtiquette Instagram feed, then you’ve probably seen Victoria B. Edwards’ delightful and colorful tablescapes and place settings, with napkins folded into many fun shapes. She was one of our two “Blue Ribbon” winners from the Etiquette Community for our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. 

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As a civility and etiquette expert, Victoria B. Edwards has taught dining protocol at recreation and community centers, athletic clubs, and libraries as part of numerous youth initiatives, after school and summer programs throughout the Metropolitan Detroit area for over 20 years. She founded Edwards Etiquette in 2015, and is a graduate of the Emily Post Institute. Edwards currently serves as Membership Director of the National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals (NAUEP). Her firm holds memberships in the Michigan and National Afterschool Associations. Edwards also delivers corporate training on topics such as civility, business etiquette, communication, personal branding, and image management through customized programs, workshop/retreat facilitation and one-on-one consulting. She routinely partners with individuals and organizations to instill necessary confidence, training and professional awareness in adults to better represent themselves and their organizations. Edwards has received numerous awards and professional recognition for leadership and civic services, been featured in Who's Who in Black Detroit for 6 years, was selected as "Woman of the Year" by the National Association of Professional Women and promoted to Honorary Lieutenant of the United States Army for her commitment to voluntarism and community service. Congratulations, Victoria!

Victoria’s Menu

*AMUSE BOUCHE

Grilled Bacon Wrapped Scallops 

*Lime Sorbet

BREAD 

Butter Croissant 

SALAD

Strawberry Orange Spinach salad with Shredded Bacon and Feta Cheese crumbles

*Mint Sorbet

ENTREE 

Sautéed Collard Greens, Onions and (Minced) Garlic

Rice Pilaf                                     Chicken Marsala

DESSERT

Baked Cranberry & Caramel Stuffed Apple Pastry Puff 

with Vanilla Bean Ice cream

BEVERAGES

Lemon and Cucumber infused Water

California Cabernet Sauvignon                Cranberry/Blackberry     Infused Hot Tea

*Not shown, but would be part of this dining experience

Victoria’s setting is a lovely, romantic mix of mismatched floral china elements that blend beautifully together. This is not easily done. I have seen too many tables at which mismatched china pieces clashed with one another, so Victoria did a great job here with her choices.

The matte gold service plate (or place plate,) does not overwhelm the china and it complements the gold trim on the beverage ware. In fact, the photo is lit in such a way, that the flatware is possibly in a goldtone, however, it could be silvertone as well, which adds to the beauty of the table.

A few etiquette notes on Victoria’s setting: 

Specificity on what will be served and when, is always helpful when imagining how well a place setting suits a menu. This setting appears to have a superfluous teaspoon, however, I could not be certain, so we are assuming it is for a sorbet!

Unless a specific course requires a teaspoon, or spoon of any kind, one should not be at the setting. The menu specified that the sorbets were not part of the setting. Did that mean the teaspoon was not for either sorbet? I couldn’t answer that question and neither could Elizabeth Soos.

On the upside, I was pleased to see the butter spreader on the bread plate correctly. Too many hosts and hostesses have taken to placing these spreaders in a vertical manner (à la caterers or cruise lines), which is incorrect. Historically, any knife should face toward the diner or his / her plate. Blades of knives should never point toward anyone else at the table.

A mix of 3 different floral china patterns that complement one another beautifully.

A service plate, or place plate, with a high gold shine would have detracted from the gold and floral elements on the other tableware and the rose-fold napkin. The matte gold finish was the perfect choice.

The contemporary elements, like the glassware and flatware chosen by Victoria, mix well with the antique elements. Not one element is a detraction or distraction.

6 Questions for Victoria

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life?

I have enjoyed a properly set table for as long as I can remember. Although I grew up in the Midwest, I grew up in a very Southern home. I was raised by my grandparents and never minded being my grandmother’s assistant in setting up for her various club meetings. The older I got, the more fun it got to set a fancy buffet table or create a charcuterie plate (even though I was an adult before I knew what ‘charcuterie’ meant). By time I was 12 years old, her (my grandmother) friends were inviting me to tea parties and their sorority and other notable womens’ events of the day. Sometimes as a junior hostess and sometimes a guest. I was elated to be invited in either capacity.

It was in those spaces I became interested in table setting and tablescapes. Our State Fair used to have a competition of sorts and it looked like SERIOUS BUSINESS and that was always fascinating to me.


2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting and why?

I went for pretty, feminine, and romantic with the elements of my table setting.. The colors (pink and gold), theme (Plain & Fancy) and menu selection brought to mind a few ladies getting together on deck or veranda discussing/planning the seasons’ cotillions, graduations and weddings. The menu is primarily composed of things one would have in the house or could get at the corner market as part of the weekly groceries with just a couple of gourmet items.

3. How, if at all, did Covid related social restrictions affect your choice of setting? Were you ready to celebrate? Feeling in the mood to do something different? Etc…

I can honestly say that I didn’t really have any COVID related social restrictions in my choice of setting. I was definitely ready to celebrate and feeling the need to do something different.

4. Same for the menu chosen as question number three… Did Covid related social restrictions affect your menu choices at all?

The only COVID-19 social restriction that comes to mind in my choice of setting was the idea of an individual pastry desert envisioned about the size of a popover for each guest and not a pie or cake.

5. If yours was a historical setting, why did you choose that particular period in time?

Mine was not a historical setting.

6. Do you plan on entering again next year?

Yes.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Interview with Petra Carsetti

The Best in Show Winner for the Etiquette Community in our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition is Petra Carsetti of Italy. Petra is shown above with her Edwardian dinner place setting.

🍽 🍽 🍽 🍽

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, and in September she will come out with her new book, “GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

Petra’s formal setting was our Best in Show for the Etiquette Community entries. It is a delightful mix of old and new. Her menu was a seafood lover’s dream. Simple, yet perfect for the challenge and ideal for a formal table. The accompanying clear service plate (so trendy at the moment) and matching bread plate were an unexpectedly nice complement to the antique, “Bristol Blue,” English Staffordshire china transferware plates by Crown Ducal. That pattern, in the Bristol Pink, has always been a personal favorite of mine, and so reminiscent of childhood visits to ‘grandma’s house.’ 

Adding to the mix was an antique melon fork, vintage ivory handled dessert knife and butter knife, a silver, roll-top butter dish (photographed both opened and closed) and a gleaming silver water pitcher. The hot pink flower choice was, again, a great complement as an accent piece to the choice of dish ware. The tall, baluster glass stemware mixed seamlessly with the glass and transferware plates. Making the setting perfectly correct was the largest of dinner napkins, giving this modern-antique mix a winning look.

A few etiquette notes on Petra’s setting: 

Petra was very specific on what was being served and when, what was being cleared and when, etc… This was tremendously helpful when judging the settings, as I had a few questions regarding most of the settings when it came to the judging. Elizabeth Soos had been the person in charge of receiving all of the photos and entries, so I had no idea what information she had regarding each entrant.

In the U.S., a melon fork, being a combination knife-fork (or “knork” as my young students would say) would never require the knife. However, in many European circles, especially French, a melon fork has an accompanying knife. As Petra resides in Italy and that appears to be a French melon fork, the Continental style fruit or dessert/pudding knife was perfectly placed.

A 19th century melon fork, paired with a French ivory fruit knife, sit below the pudding course spoon.

The elements chosen are all perfect for her Edwardian era setting. The glass service plate and bread plate are subtle enough to fit in, even though they are so modern. Petra managed to match the period glass liner in the roll-top butter dish (shown open in the top right of the photo below and closed in the top left of the first photo), which helped to nicely tie those elements together. She made a wise choice to show the roll-top both opened and closed, as many other entrants might not have chosen to do. The faux “French ivory” handles on the knives are true to the period.

The size of the Damask napkin, the largest available from most makers, is the appropriate size for a formal dinner, and often missed by many people… even those in the etiquette field, so kudos to Petra on getting that one point correct!

The largest of napkins are the correct choice for formal dinner settings.

  

Due to the volume of photos that some entrants sent, the choice of photos was sometimes not the best to be posted on Instagram, though as busy as Elizabeth Soos was, she somehow got one photo of each of all these settings posted for people to view. 

The photo of Petra’s setting that was posted on Instagram had a fork askew, so I asked if there were other photos from this particular entrant. In order for me to not know or guess who the entrant was, she had to crop Petra out, so I could view any other images with the perfect placement of the forks. I could see that the fork had been knocked out of place from the photo was sent with the others. 

Being used to photographing place settings on a fairly regular basis, I know how easy it is to knock something out of place and not realize it until the photo session is finished.

Six questions for Petra: 

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life?

I have always loved a properly set table. Since I was a teenager, I invited my friends to dinner and I set up the table in a very accurate and scenographic way! It wasn't always set up correctly, but there was always passion in setting it up. I remember that once (I was 15 years old) I set up the table with goblet glasses (only for water) by covering them with flowers; those same flowers brought them back all over the handrail of the stairs that were in the dining room.

2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting, and why?

To set the table I tried to use philological elements (philology is the study of the history of language traditionally, including historical literary texts) in line with the chosen theme. I also preferred to use particular objects such as the melon fork, precious materials such as English porcelain, crystal glasses with stems and antique fabrics with the rare 70 cm (27 & 1/2 inch) napkin.

3. How, if at all, did Covid related social restrictions affect your choice of setting? Were you ready to celebrate? Feeling in the mood to do something different?

Unfortunately, Covid and the Pandemic have greatly changed our daily lives for small and big things. Social relationships have changed, they have been less frequent but this has caused the desire to be together. The rules are changed and these must be respected but the feeling of being together is always that of sharing and empathy. Brillat Savarin taught us this.

4. Same for the menu chosen as question number three… Did Covid related social restrictions affect your menu choices at all?

No, it didn't.

5. If yours was a historical setting, why did you choose that particular period in time?

I chose that particular period for several reasons:

• because it was what I loved most
• because in setting up the table I would have had more harmonious objects 
• because in my new book “GalaTime” coming out in September, I had written about English traditions and objects.

6. Do you plan on entering again next year?

“This year it was very exciting to participate in this first competition with people from all over the world and I will be happy to participate in the next year as well. The judges Maura J. Graber and Elizabeth Soos are the greatest etiquette experts in existence and therefore participating will always be a stimulus to grow, improve, compare with other realities and nations. The table is a moment of union, it is also in this case!”

Elizabeth Soos and I would both like to congratulate Petra on her wonderful setting, and we would love to claim the mantle of “greatest etiquette experts in existence” but we humbly will admit that there are many out there in the field of etiquette, all over the world, who share our talents, enthusiasm and knowledge! 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia