Etiquette’s Values

Being Recognizably Respectful 
and Other Active Values

Your personal style, behaviors, and interactions reflect active values that you wear on your sleeve for all to see.  Far more than positive words alone, your consistency of kindness and cheerfulness will add to the efforts of “getting it right”—that is, of feeling good that others may well experience your politeness and civility, as recognizably respectful. 

What I love about the word etiquette-ful, is that it is accomplished in an intentionally self-selecting spirit.  Being an etiquette-ful person means that the individual chooses to be that person.  It is not an imposed state. My Etiquette Blog is meant entirely to offer ideas and suggestions. It is not to talk about etiquette or politeness in absolute terms. One can only imagine what it is like to live in someone else’s skin.

The words respect and consideration alone don’t necessarily inspire action.  How do you want people to feel about you or your organization?  Most likely you want to be seen as actively living the things that you value.  You want your active values to be apparent.

Have you ever written a personal mission statement for your life?  The company you own or work for is no doubt mission driven. Mission-driven organizations are values-oriented.  How about persons?  Do the values you hold reflect daily in all that you do? 

For fun, I took a look at Etiquette for the Business of Life’s Mission and Values Statement written some time ago.  I wanted to see if I was living the vision and values of my company, personally and professionally. My mission and values are:

• To promote a free and civil society by teaching/learning etiquette skills that empower individuals to cultivate a manner of mindfulness in social and professional interactions.
• To help others gain comfort and confidence in their professional/personal interactive skills of civility by aiming to offer the BEST version of themselves. 
• To live in active imagination always ready to answer the question, “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”

Living Your Active Values

Now it’s your turn.

• Which active values serve and distinguish you as a person? 
• What are key ways in which you show up recognizably respectful?
• What question would you ask yourself as a test of where you are in the moment? 

Defining our beliefs, priorities, and what we value in living our days can only be demonstrated through our decisions and behavior.  And only you can be you.  We live and learn together and can, indeed strive to make it a better world.

Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

National Park Etiquette

National Park Etiquette and

Respectful Nature Visits

Image Source: rozabel; "Yosemite National Park, California, USA.", 2024. Accessed via https://www.123RF.com/photo_68566594, Standard License.

Visiting our national parks is a wonderful way to connect with nature and experience some of the most beautiful landscapes our country has to offer. Let’s explore essential etiquette for national park visits, ensuring you leave no trace and preserve these natural wonders for future generations.

Plan Ahead and Prepare

Knowing as much information as possible will help you know what to expect and how to prepare for the unexpected.

• Research park regulations and special concerns
• Schedule your trip to avoid times of high use when possible
• Repackage food to minimize waste
• Use a map and compass to eliminate the need for rock cairns or flagging

Proper planning not only enhances your experience but also reduces your impact on the environment.

Implementing National Park Etiquette

You’ve done your research and are heading out on your adventure.  The overall guideline to remember is that you are a guest in Mother Nature’s home.  As a human in a natural setting, there are many opportunities for you to unknowingly damage the environment you are there to enjoy.

You can prevent this from happening when you:

1. Travel and camp on durable surfaces. To minimize your footprint:

• Stick to established trails and campsites
• Walk single file in the middle of the trail
• Camp at least 200 feet from lakes and streams
• Avoid areas where impacts are just beginning to show

2. Dispose of waste properly.  The "Pack it in, Pack it out" principle is crucial.  Whatever you bring into a natural area, you must also take out with you when you leave.  

• Pack out all trash, leftover food, and litter
• Use bathroom facilities when available
• If facilities aren't available, deposit solid human waste in catholes dug 6-8 inches deep, at least 200 feet from water, camp, and trails
• Pack out toilet paper and hygiene products 
• Bring reusable containers to minimize waste
• Carry a small trash bag to collect waste as you go

By following the “Pack it in, Pack it out” principle, you help ensure that natural areas remain clean, safe, and enjoyable for all visitors and wildlife.  It's a crucial part of minimizing human impact on the environment and practicing responsible outdoor recreation. You might want to take this a step further by picking up any litter you find, even if it isn't yours – sometimes referred to as "Pack it in, Pack it out, and then some."

3. Leave what You find.

• Leave rocks, plants, and other natural objects as you find them
• Don't build structures or dig trenches
• Avoid introducing or transporting non-native species
• Don't carve into trees or deface natural surfaces

Take only photographs, leave only footprints.

4. Minimize campfire impacts by using extreme caution.  Responsible fire management prevents wildfires and preserves the natural landscape.

• Use established fire rings or camp stoves
• Keep fires small and burn all wood to ash
• Put out fires completely and scatter cool ashes  
• In some areas, fires may be prohibited - always check local regulations

5. Observing wildlife is a privilege and must be done respectfully and responsibly.

• Observe wildlife from a distance; don't follow or approach them
• Never feed animals - it damages their health and alters natural behaviors
• Store food and trash securely
• Control pets or leave them at home

Remember, we are visitors in their home.

6. Be considerate of and courteous to other visitors. 

• Yield to other users on the trail
• Camp away from trails and other visitors if possible
• Let nature's sounds prevail - avoid loud voices and noises
• Respect the quality of other visitors' experiences

Etiquette-fulness goes a long way in ensuring everyone enjoys their park visit.

7. Follow park rules and regulations, which may vary depending on the park you are visiting.   These rules exist to protect both visitors and the environment.

• Adhere to entrance fee requirements
• Observe speed limits and parking regulations
• Stay on designated trails, especially in fragile ecosystems
• Follow guidelines for activities like fishing, boating, or rock climbing

8. Practice photography etiquette. Capturing memories is important, but safely doing so ensures you can enjoy them for years to come.

• Don't use drones where prohibited
• Avoid disturbing wildlife for the perfect picture
• Be mindful of other visitors when setting up equipment
• Don't venture off-trail for a photo opportunity that could easily lead to a dangerous situation

Foster an Appreciation for our National Parks

Aside from enjoying time in nature, our national parks offer educational opportunities that help strengthen our appreciation for these amazing places.  You can become a steward of our national parks.

• Learn about the area's natural and cultural history, including indigenous peoples' connections to the land
• Share your knowledge with others, especially children
• Lead by example in following park etiquette
• Check out the National Park Service website to learn more and follow them on Instagram (@nationalparkservice) for fun posts

By following the etiquette guidelines above, we can all play a part in preserving our national parks for future generations. As you explore these magnificent landscapes, take pride in knowing that your responsible behavior is helping to protect these natural wonders.  So pack your bags, lace up your hiking boots, and set out to experience the awe-inspiring beauty of our national parks - all while treading lightly and respectfully on the earth.

Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Are Good Manners Antiquated? No!

Behaving Well is Not an Antiquated Idea

A Second Debut Article by Candace Smith!

Showing up in a polite, positive, or good way means that you are behaving well. Adults enjoy seeing children who mind their manners; children form etiquette-ful habits and behaviors from the example of adults; and everyone appreciates the kindnesses shown by others. 

Yet, as an etiquette instructor, I hear comments about how etiquette skills are antiquated in modern society.  Ironically, this perception only holds when people, and those around them, are behaving well. 

Tradition

Custom may inform us on how to govern, manage or conduct ourselves, and it’s wise to observe the local circumstances and try our best to adjust behaviors accordingly. Only individuals, however, can conduct or comport themselves.

Conducting oneself responsibly is the crown on considering oneself grown-up.  How good it feels when someone recognizes you for not only being appropriate, but going a step further in kindness, and consideration for the feelings of another.

Longstanding language expressions call us to serve our better selves: 

• Act politely
• Mind your manners
• Make good choices
• Mind your p’s and q’s
• Play fair
• Observe the rules
• Tow the line
• Keep the peace
• Act reasonably
• Do the right thing
• Be nice and kind
• Be on your best behavior
• Observe the Golden Rule
• Act with decorum

These reminders have been heard throughout our lives on various occasions. Not only are they traditional phrases, they are instructions for behaving well.

Behaving Well Encourages Positivity

In the 18th century, Adam Smith claimed that agreeable manners inflame our natural love of virtue and increase our tolerance of imperfection.  They often correct or ascertain our natural sentiments with regard to the propriety of conduct. Suggesting many nice and delicate intentions, they shape us to a more exact justness of behavior—without which instruction we would have been at a loss to think of.

The above list of reminders, and the fact that we hear or say them often, offers clues to the difficulties of acting on them.  It also prompts us that another person may be struggling with their own good behavior, calling us to patience and compassion as they choose to act with propriety and kindness.

Though a person who has been reminded that he needs to behave more suitably may feel that the idea is antiquated and instead retorts, “Whatever,” humans might have long understood, the building of mental strength is about self-regulating emotions, managing thought expression, and aiming for the positive, despite circumstances.  

Behaving well, or acting in a manner of kindness, courtesy and respect, flies under the radar of noticeable actions.  Why? Because it is assumed that everyone aims for good rapport and harmony with each other in every circumstance.  As long as this is the norm, conducting oneself properly will never become an antiquated idea.

 Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Happiness and Etiquette

Etiquette and the Happiness Factor

Fundamental to human nature is the desire to be happy.  One thing the pandemic brought us is the time to reassess this basic fundamental.    

Relationships are at the core of happiness—relationships with family, friends, colleagues, animals, your environment, yourself and your higher sense of being.  Being social creatures, we long for connectedness.  

When I teach etiquette seminars, the emphasis is always on the reasons why we would want to apply etiquette:  the confidence, comfort, and connectedness it brings.  

Connectedness is the essence of happiness, and the happier you choose to be, the more confident and comfortable you are.

Being Connected

Our human need for connection drives us to engage in social interactions with others.  These interactions create experiences that lead to acquaintanceship, friendship, romance, dislike, or confrontation.

Etiquette plays a direct role in determining the outcome of your attempts to connect with someone.

Five outwardly etiquette-ful actions to help others connect with you:

• Smile when you speak to someone.  Even while wearing a mask, be physical with your smile.  
• Looking directly at others when speaking is a necessary part of your smile.  Keep the gaze going. 
• Keeping your distance, your body language conveys your being present.  Arms to your side, palms open when you speak conveys openness.  Quick or unnecessary movement, keeping your arms crossed, or appearing distracted, shows the opposite.
• Validating other people’s views, even if you don’t agree, makes them feel as if they’ve been heard.
• Occasioning communication means that you are committed to showing up.  Encourage others to speak about themselves.  Even if you can’t spend time in person, texting, emailing or social media go a long way in communicating. 

Five inwardly etiquette-ful actions that help others connect with you: 

• Create a desire to make others feel important.  It will challenge your creativity.
• Choose to pay attention!  Cut out distractions when communicating.  Keep the phone out of sight and off the table when spending time in person.  
• Engage even if you don’t really feel like it.  Stay positive, share happy news, find something uplifting to share.   
• Adopt the philosophy that you are a giver.  Then give of yourself.
• Be available to ask others for advice.  This is easy if you engage another in something positive about that person’s life and look for something you genuinely appreciate. 

When we are etiquette-ful and kind to others and ourselves, we are bound to experience a level of happiness.  It is the same concept of the giver of a gift experiencing the same amount of joy and appreciation as the receiver of a gift.  Practicing etiquette guidelines during our interactions with people is a form of kindness in action.

Sharing Happiness

Some believe that being joyful is a responsibility of being human.  The HeartMath Institute has conducted many studies that help support this belief.  Their research shows that the emotions we feel – happiness, anger, uncertainty, fear – are shared energetically when we connect or interact with another being.  

Mindful of this, we can all celebrate moments of humility realizing that we can’t begin to know everything, but that we can contribute to the greater good by the little things we do inwardly and outwardly in kindness.  From this perspective, we can look around and appreciate everyday experiences – that the sun did rise, that seasons are occurring, and that we are all connected in some way.  How joyous!  How etiquette-ful!

 Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia