Late 19th C. British Luncheon Etiquette

“The American fashion of ladies' luncheons is beginning to be adopted in this country, but not at all in the extremely elaborate fashion in which they are carried out in the States. Sometimes, even, the daylight is shut out and the dining-room illuminated as at dinner.”— An American ladies’ luncheon table of 1900.  — Photo source, Etiquipedia’s private library 

Luncheons of 1900

Luncheon is usually an informal meal, but circumstances may invest it with some amount of importance. The invitations may then possibly be framed in the third person, but as a rule they are written in the first.

Dear Mr. So-and-so, Will you give us the pleasure of lunching with us on Thursday at 2 o'clock,

Very truly yours,

Regina Roe

or:

Dear Mr. Dash, Will you lunch with us at Claridge's on Thursday? The Nonpareils will be of our party and I am asking our mutual friend, Miss Such-and-such.

Luncheon at a restaurant affords an easy way of entertaining one's acquaintance, but it is not regarded as nearly so great a compliment as an invitation to dinner, whether at a restaurant or at one's own home. London hostesses find it a useful mode of acknowledging some obligation they may have incurred. Some houses make luncheon a sort of general at-home hour for friends and acquaintance. "I am always at home at 1.30," a lady will say, and will expect her friends to take her at her word, and lunch in this very informal way two or three times in the season. 

But it is as well to be chary of turning up too frequently. Refrain in such circumstances as these. A general invitation has long had the character of being no invitation at all. Either it means nothing, or it means too much. In the latter case, the luncheon-table may be very crowded on the very day one turns up in response to repeated invitations. This is uncomfortable all round, but more particularly for the guest. Hostesses who ladle out their invitations are presumably indifferent to the scramble that ensues for seats at their lunch-tables on some days.

There are men in London society who have an unenviable reputation as "cadging" for lunch invitations, and one very good-natured are called "paupers' free meals" on account of the number of very hungry young men who assemble at them. The system of cadging for meals is not unknown in the country, as many a provincial hostess can testify. 

The man who calls at half-past twelve or so lays himself open to this insinuation. Any one who wishes to avoid it must be very careful not to make a call at any house within an hour of the usual meal time. Tea is the exception, but tea can scarcely be called a meal. Every one on visiting terms is expected to have tea at any time between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. There is no compliment of hospitality involved in this.

The lunch party does not leave the drawing-room in pairs, as for dinner. The hostess sometimes says to a friend who of knows the house well: "Will you lead the way with Mrs. Dash?" If there are gentlemen present, they follow the ladies to the dining-room, unless specially asked by the hostess to take the ladies down.

The American fashion of ladies' luncheons is beginning to be adopted in this country, but not at all in the extremely elaborate fashion in which they are carried out in the States. Sometimes, even, the daylight is shut out and the dining-room illuminated as at dinner. The toilettes of the ladies are also more like dinner dresses than those usually worn in the afternoon. Here, with us, ordinary afternoon dress is the rule for ladies. In town, in at the season, a man is expected to Luncheons wear either a frockcoat or a cut-away black coat. If he has been regularly invited to lunch he leaves his hat and stick in the hall. In the country, a man wears a country suit, or riding dress if he has ridden from his own home to his hostess' house.

All the guests are shown into the drawing-room, where the hostess receives them. They retain their hats and, in winter, leave furs or heavy wraps in the hall or dining-room. Gloves are usually removed and when sitting down to table. The hostess may or may not have hat or bonnet on. If she has just come in from shopping or driving, she very probably will be in outdoor dress. At a very formal luncheon, however, she will be in indoor dress; since outdoor costume might be interpreted as having reference to some intention of going out immediately after, and would be considered as a hint to her guests to leave early.

The routine of the meal is very simple. When the table is laid, all cold dishes are placed upon it, so as to have the service simplified as much as possible. One of the charms of lunch is that the servants are not in the room after the sweets have been brought in and handed round. In some houses, when the meal is a very elaborate one, the servants remain to hand fruit or ices, but the general custom is for them to leave the room and shut the door, having left everything ready in the shape of plates, knives, forks, spoons, etc...

The meal is never expected to be a very elaborate one. Soup or fish may precede a joint or an entrée, or a dish of game. The joint is getting quite unfashionable among the smart. Rather small chicken pies or dishes of a French character are more acceptable than anything heavy or solid. Where the ménage is of an She understands the great importance of careful training in nice ways of eating, drinking, and general behaviour. —From Eliza Lavin’s, “Etiquette for Every Day,” 1900

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Luncheon Parties

Formal lunches, just like formal breakfasts, could be several hours long and with several courses. Place settings were very complicated for a novice hostess. Books like the Wallace Silver Hostess Book were very especially helpful to new brides.

Rules for Simple Luncheons

Luncheon parties are rather formal: three of a family are invited—father, mother and daughter; two families, perhaps, and three or four from different households, making a party of twelve, including host and hostess. There is a tendency at these gatherings to follow dinner etiquette and to go in arm in arm, more particularly on the part of elderly people. At all luncheon parties, large or small, the ladies should go in first together, followed by the men. The hostess should either walk by the side of the lady of highest rank, or, if she is acquainted with the house, she leads the way. The hostess follows last and all the ladies precede her. 

The size of the party naturally regulates the extent of the menu as regards quantity. The style of luncheon given is very much the same in most houses, save where men cooks are kept and plain dishes are out of the question. At ordinary luncheons, a cold entree of salmon or chicken precedes a roast, or two hot roasts, or a hot entree and a roast. Two sweets, one hot and one cold, seldom a savory cheese, taking its place. Fruit is now invariably given; sometimes it is eaten before the cold entree, but this only as regards melon. 

Name cards are not used at luncheon, except at very large parties, when to tell them where to sit would occupy too much time. The places of honor are, of course, at the right and left hand of the host, and the left and right of the hostess, and these are given to the guests according to the precedency due to them. Ladies are, as a rule in the majority to a great extent, and when a host is not present the place of honor is by the side of the hostess, unless her son or brother acts as host. – Los Angeles Herald, 1904

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia