Replicating Royal Etiquette for Big Visit

To a woman encumbered with a train, and condemned to back down, or up a flight of stairs, this difficulty presents an interesting exercise in calisthenics. It is quite out of the question that all the women who are going to the ball should surmount it successfully, and even if they should, this is only one of many points of Spanish Court etiquette their struggles with which, are likely to amuse the Infanta, who has several times since she arrived upon these shores, betrayed a sense of humor which she will have some difficulty in concealing when society undertakes to treat her as she would be treated at home.  

—Public domain image of Infanta Eulalia of Spain, from Wikipedia 

The Infanta and Society

No feeling heart will withhold its meed of sympathy from the women of New-York society who have been, for three or four days, struggling with the mysteries of Spanish Court etiquette, and whose struggles have straggled into the public prints. It is not known who is instructing them in these intricacies, which are many and various. That which is reported to weigh most upon their spirits, is the approved method of backing before Spanish Royalty. 

To a woman encumbered with a train, and condemned to back down, or up a flight of stairs, this difficulty presents an interesting exercise in calisthenics. It is quite out of the question that all the women who are going to the ball should surmount it successfully, and even if they should, this is only one of many points of Spanish Court etiquette their struggles with which, are likely to amuse the Infanta, who has several times since she arrived upon these shores, betrayed a sense of humor which she will have some difficulty in concealing when society undertakes to treat her as she would be treated at home.

The curious point about all this futile training, is that it is superfluous as it is futile. The Spanish Government has already shown its faith in the good-will of the American people by waiving, in effect, the ceremonial of Madrid, and leaving the American people at liberty to entertain the Infanta in the American way. It is not the way of the Court of Madrid, but it is not a bad way in its way. The ball to the Infanta is to be exclusive, and hence it is expected to eclipse the ball to the foreign naval officers. 

That was the most democratic and comprehensive function from which nobody was excluded, who could and would pay $10 for a ticket. It was also highly successful, and every New-Yorker who attended it must have been proud of the appearance and behavior of his promiscuous fellow citizens. Unless the projectors of the ball to the Infanta abandon their absurd notion of entertaining her as if she and they were in Spain, the ball to the Infanta is likely to furnish more occasion of satisfaction to the satirist than to the patriot. — New York Times, May 24, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spanish Princess Charms the U.S.

 

“Grace is better than formalism. This is the moral of Eulalia’s example, and the truth applies to other things than manners. There is a good deal of formal moralism in this country that is about as useless and uncomfortable as the etiquette of old Spain.” 

Eulalia’s Example

There are many signs that the Columbian Exposition is going to affect the beginning of a radical change in many of our conventional and most cherished ideas. Begun as an industrial exposition to show the growth of the civilized world in material comfort during the last four hundred years, it has become already much more interesting from an esthetic than from an industrial point of view. 

Vast as are the wonders, and we might almost say the miracles, wrought by mechanism and electricity that are displayed at the Great Fair, the things that have most concerned the public mind have not been matters of work and energy, but matters of conduct and enjoyment. It is the ‘nude art’ and the ‘open Sunday’ that have chiefly engaged the attention of our people. The discussions that have aroused interest have not been how shall we increase wealth and multiply luxuries, but how we shall make our conventional morals conform to the growing desire for beauty and for enjoyment. 

We do not intend to go over again this morning the old arguments for or against the essential purity of beauty even when exhibited in the undraped human form, nor recall the arguments on one side or the other, concerning the use of Sunday as a holiday or a holy day. With all phases of these debates our readers are sufficiently acquainted and would hardly be grateful for another direct review of them, it will be interesting, however, to consider them for a moment indirectly, and to catch, as it were, a glimpse of them in distant perspective, seen as a background to something else that harmonizes with them and in a way illumes them. We would ask our readers, then, to consider for a moment how these old issues appear in the light of Eulalia’s example? 

The subject deserves an essay, but we can do no more than sketch the outlines. Let it be remembered how, when it was first announced that the Princess Eulalia was coming to America, there broke out everywhere a portentuous discussion as to how we should receive Spanish royalty. We heard a great deal about the formal etiquette of the majestic Court of the Escurial. Diplomatists debated who should receive her, and how and when and where. Ward McAllister issued a manifesto on the subject. Society studied and argued, and Statesmen took to gossiping about it. Everybody who would be immediately concerned in receiving the Princess, seemed to be in a nervous dread of the approaching ordeal, and when at one time it was announced that she was not coming at all because her hauteur had been offended by a lack of sufficient reverance for her august station, many of our dignitaries and our social leaders drew a breath of relief in the momentary hope that the danger was over and that our Republican manners would not be subjected to the fearful strain. 

The Princess came, however, in due season, and the trembling world of New York went out to meet her. It went prepared with bows and curtsies and genuflexions to do her honor. To the amazement of everybody, the Princess came forward and shook hands with those who welcomed her and began at once to talk like a woman who is glad to be alive. She not only showed no hauteur, but manifested a genuine Democratic expectation of a good time. She stood up on her carriage and blew kisses to a New York crowd until it nearly went crazy with rapture. She did the same thing in Washington. She never said a word about Cleveland’s not returning her call, nor raised a single question of etiquette. 

On her visit to West Point, she showed a gentle graciousness to the widow of General Grant by running back into the hotel at the last moment to shake hands with her and bid her good bye. A similar graceful act was shown on Decoration Day, when she drove out Riverside Avenue to lay with her own hands a wreath upon the tomb of Grant. She turned, moreover, from affairs of State to ordinary life with an equal gaiety. She went to the horse races and bet on the favorite. When she lost, she laughed; and when she won, she ordered the money to be given to the poor. She dined at a racing banquet merrily, and when it was over and cigars were passed round, she lit a cigarette and stayed with the company. 

In short, she has shown nothing of the conventional dignity of royalty, but everything of the natural grace of a happy and lively going womanhood. This exemplar of royal conduct, coming into the country at the exact moment when we are discussing how far conventional ideas may be thrown aside in order to give free play to the artistic and joyous faculties, cannot fail to exert a considerable influence on the public mind. How unpleasant was our conception of Spanish royalty! How pleasing has been our experience of Spanish grace! Perhaps we may learn from this that if we can get rid of our formal art and our formal Sunday, we may find in place of them a grace ot life far happier and far better for the world. 

Eulalia’s example shows what a womanhood unrestrained by conventional etiquette can do. It is a womanhood full of charm for the crowd, full of dignity for official rank, full of gentle reverence for the aged woman, full of honor for the illustrious dead, and yet withal not too high and good to love the pleasant things of life and enjoy them with all her heart. Much that she has done, will seem to our ideas more like a soubrette than a Princess, and yet it cannot be denied that it is much better than the stiff and stately etiquette that we feared. 

Grace is better than formalism. This is the moral of Eulalia’s example, and the truth applies to other things than manners. There is a good deal of formal moralism in this country that is about as useless and uncomfortable as the etiquette of old Spain. There is no reason why the growing artistic spirit of America should remain forever fettered by old ideas. There is no reason why it should not break loose from conventional trammels in this Columbian year and disport itself as freely and as gracefully for the joy of all as our royal visitor has done in her frank acceptance of our Democratic ways. — San Jose Mercury News, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Greek Royal Etiquette

Early Greek etiquette... Even Socrates, a founder of Western philosophy and famed for his simple clothing and preference for going unshod, is said to have smartened himself up for banquets, even wearing sandals. – The Greek historian Xenophon recounts in his Symposium that Socrates was once out walking with friends when approached by Callias, a wealthy Athenian. “I am about to give a dinner party ... and I think my entertainment would shine much brighter if my dining room were graced with the presence of men like you, whose souls have been purified.” At first, the disheveled Socrates thought Callias was mocking him, but the great man insisted. They thanked him for the invitation, without promising to go, but upon seeing Callias’ disappointment, they agreed to attend. They spent the evening in his home—eating, drinking, and talking—in one of the most characteristic social fixtures of the classical world: the symposium. Etiquette at the time required banquet guests to bathe and groom themselves before arriving. According to Aristotle, it was “inappropriate to come to the symposium covered with sweat and dust.” – Source National Geographic History

Personality of the King of Greece

“The Royal Family of Greece” is the subject of a paper by Benjamin Ide Wheeler in the “Century.” Professor Wheeler says: Personally the King is a sociable, companionable man, fond of a joke, particuarly susceptible to the flavor of fine American humor, and not at all stringent in the minutiae of official etiquette; he sometimes gives one the impression that he will be glad when the formal part of the ceremony is over. 

He is often seen walking in the parks or on the sidewalks of his Capital, and in the seclusion of his garden rejoices in the use of an American bicycle, which no interpretation of royal license would permit him to ride upon the highways. 

He is, however, a rigid disciplinarian, and his children have been brought up to feel the full force of the authority of the Teutonic house-father. The Crown Prince, now 28 years old and father of a family, still looks to him, as do all his other children, for permission and advice in regard to all their goings and comings.– Century Magazine, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

On Perfecting Royal Etiquette Points

Clearly, New Yorkers dropped the ball with regard to hosting her Highness properly and with the expected etiquette, when she was in New York. 

Giving points to Chicago – Commander Davis Instructs Mrs. Potter Palmer

__________________________________

He explains in detail how the Infanta shall be received, and whom she may, and may not meet — New Yorkers made some bad mistakes, he says, because of their ignorance of etiquette — A Manual of Manners by the President’s Personal Representative

Commander Charles Henry Davis, United States Navy, representing the President of the United States near the person of Infanta Eulalia, spent a very busy day yesterday with his correspondence. Several of the letters he wrote were of some importance. One was to Mrs. Potter Palmer of Chicago telling her how to behave when she received the Princess. The letter is as follows:


“Out of consideration to American customs and the objection in this country to traveling on Sunday, her Royal Highness will leave for Chicago on Monday instead of on Sunday, as previously arranged, and will arrive at Chicago one day later. This will make some change in the programme arranged for her reception. I have promised the Mayor of Chicago and others that you should have the honor of giving the first reception to her Royal Highness. I have telegraphed the Mayor asking him to consult with you as to the order of how entertainment for the first few days will take place. Will you and the Mayor and Mr. Higginbotham arrange among yourselves, so that the programme may be perfectly clear when we arrive?


“I'll have also to request that there be no entertainments upon the hour of her arrival. Her Highness suffers a great deal from fatigue, and has to be very careful not to overexert, and I'm afraid she will find the long railroad journey so tedious that she will not be fit to take part in a big function immediately after her arrival. With this single restriction I leave the matter entirely in the hands of yourselves. With regard to your customs, I should say that you might ask as many people to your reception as you think ought to be presented to her Highness. The mere fatigue of receiving people is not serious, but you will, of course, provide an apartment to which her Highness can retire at any moment. If she feels tired she would not hesitate to exercise her prerogative of privacy.


“At the reception given by the Spanish colony here in New York the Prince and Princess stood on a platform raised about six inches above the floor and with a couple of armchairs behind them. I do not consider this at all obligatory upon you, and it might be considered as contrary to our own customs. You can do just as you please about this. Her Highness is sensible enough to take things in this country as she finds them. You should meet the Infanta at the door of your own house. I will explain this better by word of mouth.


“Will you kindly warn the good people of Chicago that when they are presented, they are presented to her husband as well, who stands by her side and who is a Prince of Royal blood? People when presented should bow to each. They have made the mistake here in New York of almost ignoring the Prince and greeting the Princess alone. The Princess will not shake hands except with persons that she knows or whom she desires to meet. The formality of presentation consists simply in calling the name of the people as they advance, who then bow and pass on, avoiding, if possible, turning their backs to their Royal Highnesses.


“You would naturally make the presentation in your own house. This could be done through me if you so desire. After the formal reception a supper should be provided at a separate table, and a separate room, for the Royal party. This table might accommodate twenty or thirty people, to be named by you. The members of her own suite always sit with her in this country, and I can give you a few words of instruction on the relative importance and the proper places for them to sit at the table when I meet you.


“If her Highness insisted upon the etiquette to which she is accustomed at home, a reception to her in an American home would be a simple impossibility. You can easily understand that it is an utter impossibility for a lady in so conspicuous a position as that of her Royal Highness to meet and know all of the persons in the city who would like to know her, or even are entitled to know her. So I would advise you to make the list of those for whom you desire a special presentation as exclusive as possible.” — The New York Times, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Palace Arrogance

“The Queen rose herself and, with her own hand, performed the act which her haughty attendants had felt was below their dignity.” – Court Ladies or Ladies in Waiting were personal attendants/personal assistants at a royal court. These ladies attended and accompanied Queens, Tsarinas, Empresses and other noblewomen. In Europe, historically, Ladies in Waiting were noblewomen themselves, but of a lower rank than the women they attended.

The Queen’s Haughty Attendants

Court etiquette is a fearful and a wonderful thing. It is told that on one occasion when the lamp in Queen Victoria's sitting room at Osborne was smoking, her majesty appealed to one of her Ladies in Waiting to lower the wick a trifle. The lady appealed to declined to recognize turning down a lamp as one of her official duties. She passed the information about the lamp to the next Lady in Waiting, who told the third lady, and so it traveled from attendant to attendant while the moments fled and the smoke continued to ascend. Finally, the Queen rose herself and, with her own hand, performed the act which her haughty attendants had felt was below their dignity. – San Bernardino Sun, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Royal Notes of 1890

“Princess Elizabeth of Austria, the daughter of the late Crown Prince, can't take outings with her mother, Princess Stephani, because, by the will of her father, she must always remain in the immediate neighborhood and under the eye of her grandfather, the Emperor.” — After Prince Rudolf's death, in a murder-suicide, Franz Joseph took over guardianship of Erzsi; by his order, she was forbidden to leave, not only the neighborhood, but Austria, with her mother. At a young age she displayed a strong personality, as well as an opposition to the Viennese court. She eventually became known as “The Red Archduchess” for her Socialist beliefs.

Royal “Goings On”

• The Empress Frederick has collected $125,000 for the new Children's hospital at Berlin.
• It is now definitely settled that Prince George is to open the Jamaica exhibition about Christmas time. The Emperor of China has sent the German Emperor a large box of playthings — little dragons and things—for his five littie sons. 
• Princess Dolgorouki, the morganatic wife of the late Czar, has published her memoirs In Russia, and every available copy was seized immediately by the police. 
• The Princess Louise, who for the past ten years has presided over on art school In Sloane street, London, West, is the first English woman to employ Irish needlewomen. 
• Emperor William has contributed 10,000 marks toward the fund which is being collected for the purchase of the famous Sulkowski collection of bric-a-brac and curiosities. 
• Prince Bismarck, seen striding recently through the groves of Friedrichsruhe park, was manifestly as sound in wind and limb as the toughest of his foresters or the hardiest of his keepers. 
• The Prince of Wales is a great stickler for court etiquette. No one knows bettor the exact way in which every band and order and medal should be worn. He is very particular about good manners in Princes and Princesses. 
• Princess Wilhelmina Montleart of Saxony, who has a pretty Castle near Vienna, and is the last of her family, recently invited the mayor of an eastern suburb to dinner, and at dessert gave him 1,000 florins to build a hospital for Bernals, the suburb of which he is mayor. 
• The little Princess Elizabeth of Austria, the daughter of the late Crown Prince, can't take outings with her mother, Princess Stephani, because, by the will of her father, she must always remain in the immediate neighborhood and under the eye of her grandfather, the Emperor. 
• Prince Lobanoff, the Russian Ambassador at Vienna, is a man of rare intellectual endowments. The Prince is a perfect type of the grand seigneur. He is a wealthy bachelor and has only had one “grande passion” in his life, namely, that for Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, of whose letters and relics he possesses a remarkable collection. 
• Princess Victoria, the Empress Frederick’s youngest and favorite daughter, is rather pretty, having a nice figure, blue eyes and fair hair. She has always been fond of an out-of-door life and enjoys exercise in any form. She is an indefatigable walker, an accomplished rider and lawn tennis player, and can drive four-in-hand in a masterly style. — Press Democrat, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Manners of Peter the Great

He once pulled off a man's wig, looked it over and threw it on the ground with an expression of large dissatisfaction.

Peter the Great’s 

“Rough and Uncouth Manners”

He was an untamed savage at the best. His manners were intolerable and his habits dissipated in the extreme. Once in the city of Amsterdam, he called to a lady, "Stop!" The woman halted, affrighted, and Peter grasped her watch chain, the curious workmanship of which had caught his eye, pulled on the watch, and after examination returned it, with never a word to say. 

Another time, he pulled off a man's wig, looked it over and threw it on the ground with an expression of large dissatisfaction. In England the Government assigned him a country seat by the Thames, where he lived a double life of studying and rioting. His favorite amusement was to drink brandy until drunk with plenty of boon companions in a tavern near at hand. His house was surrounded with a magnificent hedge, which he ruined by running a wheelbarrow.

In Russia, Peter gave great parties, and the Nobles brought their ladies to attend under an Imperial edict, danced French and Polish dances, and prisoners of war were brought from their captivity to show them how to perform. More than this, every Noble was compelled to give three parties a week, at which the guests must wear European costumes, and in this way was reversed the social life of Russia. The people did not welcome these changes.–Los Angeles Herald, 1886

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Imperial Manners, Memoirs, More

Runaway Austrian Archduchess dishes the dirt in scathing memoirs. – Her Imperial Highness, her mother, she says, had a terrible habit of punishing her children by cutting their faces with diamonds, the royal children were beaten worse than dogs, and given to the care of “low minded and dangerous persons, without manners or education.” 

Archduchess in Memoir Scores Saxon Court – Calls King George “Brawler and Braggart”

Calls Crown Prince Husband a Boor –

Ridicules Royal Suitors –Paints Terrible Picture of Life in Imperial Household of Austria

NEW YORK, Nov. 26.—Mrs. Louise Toselli, who was an Austrian Archduchess and would be Queen of Saxony today, had she not eloped with her children’s tutor, Giron, has entered the “memoir list’’ with her husband. Toselli’s memoirs have been running in a magazine. Henry W. Fisher of New York is the publisher of Mrs. Toselli's diary, lost at the time of her elopement from Dresden with Giron. In the books the former Archduchess touches with characteristic levity upon life at the Court of Saxony. "When my first baby came I wanted to nurse it, of course,” she writes. “You should have seen Frederick Augustus’ (the Crown Prince) face. If I had proposed to become a wet nurse to some ‘Socialist brat’ he couldn’t have been more astonished.” Louise describes her father-in-law, King George, as a brawler and a braggart, her husband as a boor. King George’s kiss, she writes, “felt like a piece of gritty ice rubbing against my forehead.” 

Louise paints a terrible picture of childhood in Austria. Her Imperial Highness, her mother, she says, had a terrible habit of punishing her children by cutting their faces with diamonds, the royal children were beaten worse than dogs, and given to the care of “low minded and dangerous persons, without manners or education.” At 18 she was taken to Vienna to look over the field for possible suitors. She “reviewed” Prince Ferdinand of Coburg, who was a “Cohen, not a Coburg,” and Prince Danilo of Montenegro, a small, thin person, “looking like a counter jumper in holiday dress.” Under entry of May 1, 1893, Louise tells of an experience with a young Baron who attempted to explain to her what real love is. The Baron told her an anecdote about an alleged amour of Catherine the Great of Russia with a handsome soldier.– New York Times, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

The European Etiquette Evolution

For many years after the fork's introduction, they were considered a ridiculous affectation and foppery. Before forks, using the "fingers of courtesy" were the best mannered method of eating.

 Some Curious Table Manners of 

Europe's "Good Old Days"

It was into in the fourteenth century when the first evidences of art in the shape of silver cups were noticeable on the buffet. The dishes were made of pewter or wood, and spoons of bone, wood or silver. Knives were rare, and on that account guests invited to feasts carried their own knives. Forks came in general use still later, and for long years after their introduction they were considered ridiculous affectation and foppery, and not nearly so convenient as one’s own fingers. 

The Lord and his Lady dipped their fingers into the same plate and sipped their wine from the same cup. Even the Queenly Elizabeth, with all her elaborate ideas of etiquette, was content to carry her food to her month with her fingers, and at first despised the newly invented fork as unseemly and awkward. Very gradually the dinning-hall grew in comfort and splendor. Dishes of gold and silver were made, and so eager were the nobles for them that they would sacrifice any thing to possess them. 

The salt-cellar was for a long time the article of highest importance on the board. It was a great affair and stood directly in the center of the table; It was the dividing line; the nobles were seated above the salt, the commoners below; hence grew the proverb: “Below the salt.” The passing of salt was a ceremonious custom, the guest throwing a pinch over his left shoulder and murmuring a blessing. The salt-cellars were of the most curious devices. Sometimes they represented huge animals, sometimes a great, full-blown flower on a long, slender stem, and again they were in the shape of a chariot, mounted on four wheels, on which they were easily run down the table. 

The first glass cups came from Venice during the sixteenth century, and from that time on,  society began to lose many of its primitive ways, and became, in a sense, more refined. Henry VIII was born with luxurious tastes; he had his banquet chairs supplied with velvet cushions, and about this time the parlor or “talking room,” as it was called, was introduced; and here the dames took refuge when the dinner advanced beyond prudent limits, as it invariably did before the finish. 

The cook that presided over the kitchen in those days was not the counterpart of our nineteenth century Bridget, but he was an artist, and generally a man of quality. The ladies of the household, oven those of noble birth, attended to many domestic duties, making the bread, preserving the fruits, while to understand the proper use of starch, was considered a great accomplishment. – The Enterprise and Scimitar, 1888

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Li Hongzhang

Li Hongzhang was the leading Chinese diplomat of the late Qing era and 19th century. The article below describes his meeting Queen Victoria.

She was, in fact, every inch a Queen. Never under any circumstances did she permit any relaxation of the rigid etiquette of the Court, not even to the changing of a feather in the headdress of a Debutante of the highest rank and the bluest of blue blood; not even to the changing of a button on the uniform of the Prince of Wales, her son, and heir to her throne. Her experience of Orientals and their ceremonies saved her from even making the slightest lapsus in dealing with them. 

During Li Hongzhang's tour through Europe, he was received with courteous empressement by the other rulers whose Courts he visited. Each and all made the gross mistake of shaking hands with him and treating him almost as an equal. When the Viceroy was ushered into Victoria's presence chamber she remained seated, wrapped in the Imperial dignity that has awed mightier men than he. The intelligent celestial grasped his position at once. He groveled to the British Empress-Queen as he would have to his master, or the Dowager Empress, and when the interview was over and he had bowed himself out backward, he, deeply impressed, remarked to his entourage: "Her Majesty is the only real Monarch of them all." — Los Angeles Herald, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Royal Etiquette in Sweden/Norway

Charles XV, was the King of Sweden and Norway (1859–72) ~ The son and successor of Oscar I. Seen as a liberal and popular ruler, he consented to many reforms, including the creation of a bicameral parliament. 

The most popular sovereign of the United Kingdoms of Sweden and Norway is Charles XV, and his Queen is a Princess of the House of Orange. He has been on the throne about eight years, and is now in his forty second year. He lives principally at the Palace of Ulrichshall, a little distance from Stockholm. It is fitted with articles of vertu, china and ceramic ware, which the Monarch takes delight in collecting. 

When the Prince of Wales paid him a visit some years since, it was entirely redecorated, and many rooms fitted up expressly for the Royal guest, and they now remain as they were then left. Very little State etiquette is preserved by the Court, and the Monarch travels daily down the Maylar Lake to Ulrichshall in the public steamboat like the rest of the world, the only difference shown him being that the other passengers forbear to crowd the end occupied by him. —Sacramento Daily Union, 1867

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