Wedding Etiquette Celebration Tips

It’s perfectly appropriate to serve your cake as dessert. Of course, if you'd like to serve an additional dessert with your wedding cake, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

Is it necessary to serve dessert in addition to the wedding cake?

No. It’s perfectly appropriate to serve your cake as dessert. Of course, if you'd like to serve an additional dessert with your wedding cake, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

My fiancé’s father is an alcoholic. Should we avoid serving drinks at the reception?

That depends. Have your fiancé talk to his father about it. If his father is comfortable around alcohol and will not feel tempted to drink, go ahead and serve drinks. If your fiancé isn't sure his father will be able to stay on the wagon and would feel more comfortable if liquor wasn't served, there are plenty of festive nonalcoholic alternatives you could offer. Naturally, you should also consult your parents, or whoever is hosting the wedding as well.

We’re having a luncheon reception. Can we serve alcohol that early?

Liquor can be served anytime, from mimosas at brunch to a full-scale open bar at a nighttime reception. For a luncheon reception, a fully stocked bar is unnecessary— mimosas, champagne, bloody marys, or other light drinks would be more appropriate.

A few of my friends have been known to experiment with recreational drugs. But I don’t want them doing drugs at my wedding. What should I do?

If you suspect that some friends or relatives may want to consume substances that get them happy but can also get them arrested (read: illegal drugs), taking steps to ensure that it won't happen at your wedding is well within your rights. You don't want your big day tarnished by drugs or trouble with the law. 

Tell your friends in advance: no drugs whatsoever, not even in a quiet stall in the restroom. At the very least, it may offend other guests. At the very worst, it may provide you with the kind of “memorable wedding event” everyone would rather forget.— From “The Everything Wedding Book,” by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin, 2000

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Alcohol Etiquette at Wedding Receptions

 You can rack up the savings by placing bottles of wine on tables. A typical bottle of wine holds four to five glasses. At a table seated for eight, a bottle of red and a bottle of white ensures that everyone gets a glass or two with their meal. You control the expense and consumption by purchasing a set number of bottles, and your guests get a free glass of wine to raise in your honor.

I'm on a tight budget. I know that I have the option to set up a cash bar instead of an open bar, but I would feel guilty asking my guests to pay for their drinks. What should I do?

Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to allay your guilt. Have an open bar only for the first hour of the reception. This will get things off on the right foot and ease your guilty conscience.

Another option is to offer tray service; your guests won't have to pay for their drinks and you won't have to incur the massive expense of an open bar. Tray service can be accomplished by choosing a few drinks that you feel will be popular with the majority of your guests (include beer and wine for sure bets). The waitstaff will pass these selections around on a tray, offering them to your guests. The servers do not float around with drinks all night, but serve them on a schedule to keep down costs (and, of course, overconsumption). 

You might want to send the servers around before dinner, as dinner is being served, and at other appropriate times during the reception. It's wise to stop serving well before the end of the reception to give people a chance to sober up. Obviously, tray service will cost you more than a cash bar, but at least you can regulate how much liquor gets consumed without offending your guests.

Serving a free champagne punch is also something to consider. A punch like this is fairly light, alcohol-wise, and people just aren't likely to pound down glass after glass. Maybe it's an image thing.

Or, you can rack up the savings by placing bottles of wine on tables. A typical bottle of wine holds four to five glasses. At a table seated for eight, a bottle of red and a bottle of white ensures that everyone gets a glass or two with their meal. You control the expense and consumption by purchasing a set number of bottles, and your guests get a free glass of wine to raise in your honor.

Finally, you can opt to serve beer and wine only. If your reception site allows it, you may be able to save some of your parents' hard-earned money by purchasing a few kegs or several cases of high-quality beer, plus some cases of good wine. Guests would be able to drink either on the house; all other types of alcohol could be made available at a cash bar. — From “The Everything Wedding Book,” by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin, 2000

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia