Thumbs Up to Learning Etiquette

    We at Etiquipedia have mixed feelings about using the “thumbs up” gesture. Instagram is positively littered with “etiquette enthusiasts”and “étiqueteurs,” making like modern-day Goofuses and Gallants on video, with a “thumbs up” and “thumbs down” or shaming “finger wag” system, of demonstrating the proper and improper ways of doing something. The “thumbs up” signal has, overall, a positive connotation in most English-speaking countries. Popularization in the U.S. is generally attributed to the practices of American World War II pilots, using the “thumbs up” to communicate with ground crews prior to take-off. However, its meaning varies significantly from country to country and culture to culture. This hand gesture is considered very rude in several countries, including Iraq and Iran. In other countries, like Germany, France, and Hungary, the gesture can simply indicate the number one (the “Ok” gesture means the number zero, or “0.”) 

Starting in 2007, the “thumbs-up” appeared on India’s one-rupee coin. And it’s in India where you’ll find a “thumbs up” gesture used as part of the logo of “Thums Up,” a popular brand of Indian cola. American Sign Language users in the United States use a single thumb up, tilted slightly and moved, or shaken rapidly, from left to right to indicate the number ten, or 10. When held stationary and thrust toward another person the meaning is “yourself.” When lifted up by the other palm, it is read as, “help.” Nowadays, due to social media’s global reach, the “thumbs-up” sign on Facebook and other sites– as a clear statement of approval or agreement– is becoming much more acceptable than it once was.

Warning from Agriculture Dept... 

“Etiquette can be tricky when traveling overseas”

WASHINGTON (AP) - When an American travels abroad with an eye on new markets for farm products, it’s best to be on good behavior and to observe proper etiquette, the Agriculture Department says.

For example, you are in an Arabian Gulf country and have consumed several small cups of bitter cardamom coffee. You would rather not drink more. Should you; 

• (a) place your palm over the cup when the coffee pot is passed? 
• (b) turn your empty cup upside down on the table? or 
• (c) hold the cup and twist your wrist from side to side? 

The answer, according to USDA’s Foreign Agricultural Service, is (c). But the quiz may be a trifle suspect, since the final of 10 questions offered to test a reader’s business etiquette says: 

“Body language is just as important as the spoken word in many countries. For example, in most countries, the ‘thumbs-up’ sign means ‘OK.’ But in which of the following countries is the sign considered a rude gesture?”

•  (a) Germany, 
• (b) Italy, 
• (c) Australia.

The answer, the agency says, is (c). But a spokesman at the Australian Embassy denied that his countrymen consider a ‘thumbs-up’ gesture offensive.

The spokesman, not identified, told a reporter “We have other fingers that might be rude, but not the thumb.” Lynn K. Goldsbrough, editor of Foreign Agriculture magazine in which the article appeared, said the information was taken from a book on taboos around the world and used in the quiz. When told about the reaction from the Australian Embassy, Ms. Goldsbrough laughed and said, “Maybe he’s from a different part of Australia. I guess you can’t believe everything you read in books, huh?” 

Another answer to a question advised prospective exporters to refrain from tipping in Iceland, although it’s permissible in Britain and Canada. And the normal work week in Saudi Arabia is Saturday through Wednesday. 

In Japan, where giving gifts is common among business acquaintances, one should “thank the giver and open the present later.” It would be bad form to open the present immediately and thank the giver, or suggest the giver open the present for you.

 Good topics of conversation in Latin America might include sports, the weather or travel, the report said, but religion and local politics should be avoided. If flowers are in order as a gift to a hostess, some ground rules are in order, since “both the type of flower and color can have amorous, negative or even ominous implications,” the report said.

 “Purple flowers are a sign of death in Brazil, as are chrysanthemums in France in Switzerland, as well as in many other northern European countries, red roses suggest romantic intention.” – By Don Kendall, AP Farm Writer, 1987

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Travel

Learn the culture, what's acceptable and unacceptable. For example, "almost half of all Japanese hotels ban tourists with tattoos from public bathing areas due to tattoos being common among yakuza crime organizations, although these bans are being reconsidered by Japan’s tourism agencies in an effort to boost tourism. However, they’re not the only country with tattoo bans. Thailand and Sri Lanka are cracking down on tourists getting Buddha tattoos while visiting due to cultural insensitivity." — From TravelAgeWest.com 

Choose the Right Destination 

Make informed choices when picking destinations. Learning about a country or area before you go, will help you decide whether it's the right destination for you. It will hopefully prevent unpleasant surprises, too. What will the weather be like? What foods are commonly available? Unexpected extreme poverty, political policies, and even hygiene practices of the locals, can leave some travelers shocked, baffled or stunned. 

Do Some Homework

Travel isn't just about the sites, but the people, too. Aside from the usual guidebooks, government websites are good places to start researching a country's people or destination, and hundreds of foreign news sites can be found at online. Not surprisingly, personal blogs and vlogs from expats, can give you a really unique window into your chosen destination.

Respect Local Customs 

Study up on what's appropriate in terms of behavior and clothing. Visiting holy sites without wearing the proper attire and exhibiting appropriate behavior, can be extremely difficult. Knowledge of local customs will make you more at ease. It's also much less disruptive to the locals. 

Queue jumping is acceptable in some countries and unacceptable in others. A little research on your part, can go a long way in easing the frustrations of waiting in line.

Respect the environment around you, as more often than not, resources are scarce in developing countries, and may not be what you are expecting. Don't exhaust local supplies by overusing water or leaving excessive amounts of garbage in your wake. Locals will only be annoyed by what will be perceived as selfish behavior on your part.

Always bargain politely. Haggling over prices is seen as a fun type of "sport" in many foreign marketplaces and shops. It is even expected in others. Don't take your dickering too far though. In developing nations, a dollar or two will usually mean far more to the seller, than it ever will to you. 

Tipping can be expected in some places, while seen as an insult in other locales. Check beforehand to find out whether tipping is desired or expected. If tipping is required or encouraged, ask a guide for the typical amounts to give.

Watch Your Hand Gestures 

As insignificant as they may seem, one needs to use caution when gesturing with hands. When it comes to body language, err on the side of caution. Avoid gesturing with your hands and even pointing, if you're not sure what you are silently conveying. 

Represent 

Remember, you are representing the country that you are from. Don't spoil a place for other visitors and tourists from your home country, by exhibiting any ignorance of acceptable behavior when abroad.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette Minefield of Bowing, Hand Gestures and Handshakes

Bill Clinton... A master communicator with his hands.  But what exactly is he communicating?

Are you well-mannered?  Seemingly harmless hand gestures, handshaking and customs like the "okay" sign, the thumbs-up sign, certain colors or types of gifts and even casual greetings, can be entirely misconstrued on soil foreign to your own.  The consequences can range from humiliating embarrassment to downright dangerous.  Even some of the world's most famous and wealthy people are unwittingly caught by the press, exhibiting poor manners when on foreign soil.

Cultural difference, or an act of disrespect?  Korean newspapers attacked the brilliant, but obviously clueless, billionaire Bill Gates for his unaware and casual style, when he shook hands upon meeting the Korean President in 2013.  Photos of the meeting were splashed across the front pages of the country’s national newspapers.

Headlines splashed across the globe in April of 2013:

“Bill Gates ‘disrespects’ South Korea’s female president by shaking hands while keeping other in his pocket”!

Bill Gates found himself at the center of a cultural row last year, after he was accused of disrespecting the South Korean president by his 'rude' handshake. The Microsoft founder was heavily criticized by Korean media because he shook President Park Geun-hye's hand, while keeping his left in his trouser pocket.

The JoongAng newspaper wrote: 'Cultural difference, or an act of disrespect?' while others called it a 'disrespectful and casual handshake'.  A one-hand shake is often seen as disrespectful in South Korea and parts of Asia. It is normally reserved for someone younger or a good friend.  

'Perhaps it was his all-American style but an open jacket with hand in pocket? That was way too casual. It was very regretful,' Chung Jin-suk, secretary general at  the Korean National Assembly, was quoted by ABC News as saying.

Korean media reported that Gates has caused similar controversy in the past when meeting the country's leaders.  In 2002, Gates gave a two-handed shake to the late Kim Dae-jung but in 2008 gave President Lee Myung-Bak's a 'disrespectful' handshake. It has led to speculation in South Korea that it was done deliberately and reflects his political preference. 

Since he seems to do it so regularly, website “The Wire,” asked if the signature ‘Gates handshake’ was “Offensive, or Just Weird?”

So what does one do when worried that their manners may not be "A-OK?"  Below is just a short list of countries and behavior one may want to consider before traveling.

Okay in the U.S. and U.K., this “A-ok’ or ‘OK’ sign is considered vulgar in Greece, Turkey and many Latin American countries.

Pointing with your finger is rude in so many countries, it is smart to abandon the gesture altogether. Use an open hand, palm up, to indicate direction.

In Japan, it is impolite not to bow lower than the other person when greeting or thanking them.  It is also polite table manners in Japan to slurp your soup.  It indicates to your host that you are enjoying the meal.
 

“In la bise, the kisses (for there should be at least two) are aimed at alternate cheeks. The online experts cannot seem to agree on which cheek gets the first bise. The thing they all agree about is that the lips doing the kissing remain closed. No slobbering – ça ne se fait pas. Strangely, nobody mentions the importance of holding one’s breath while kissing – nobody wants your garlic fumes.

The number (from two to four or even, I am told, five in Corsica) depends less on the degree of affection or acquaintance than on the region. I even found a map of France on the web, showing the number of kisses current in each region. Someone probably got a Master’s thesis out of that.” –Rosy Rabson for The Telegraph

A handshake can also be a faux pas in France if a kiss on the cheek would have been more appropriate. 

Shoes and feet can be a serious source of offense in different parts of the world. Not taking shoes off in Maori or Muslim sacred spaces is very rude.

In Finland and Scandinavian countries, not removing shoes when entering someone's home is seen as very discourteous to one's hosts. 

Clothes are also very important in temples and churches. People should not enter a church in Italy with bare legs or arms and that rule generally applies to other religions. The Vatican even has a dress code and those not adhering to it, will be asked to leave.

In Buddhist temples, it is important to sit with feet tucked under so that they do not point at the Buddha.

Oprah Winfrey inadvertently managed to anger an entire nation when visiting India. Winfrey dined with a family in Mumbai while the cameras for her show rolled. While on-camera, Oprah remarked, “I heard some Indian people eat with their hands still.” Innocent as the remark may have been, it sparked outrage as some felt she was accusing the Indian people of somehow being “backward.” Oprah then added insult to injury by continuing to use her left hand to eat even after being told that the Indian people eat only with their right hands and that left hands are used only for serving. When Oprah’s hosts politely reminded her of this, she seemingly blew off the instructions and replied, “So I'm going to use both hands, or I’ll be here all night.”

Eating with your left hand (aka 'the unclean hand') in India and Middle Eastern countries is considered rude. That part of the body is used for an entirely different function in such places, one that most people don't want to be reminded of when dining. 

A pat on the head is considered an affectionate gesture in much of the Western world, but is extremely rude in Thailand, and in other Asian cultures. In Buddhism the head is the most pure region of the body. 

In the UK and America, the popular “okay” sign is a positive gesture, but if in Greece or Turkey, it is seen as very vulgar.   In France, it can mean “zero” or "nothing."

Giving a clock or a watch as a gift in China or Taiwan may be regarded as a faux-pas, as it traditionally associated with counting the seconds to the recipient's death.

On Bowing in Japan

Japanese social media loved Barack Obama's deep bow  to the Japanese Emperor in 2009, however mixing a handshake with the bow was an etiquette misstep.

Bowing is considered extremely important in Japan, so much so that, although children normally begin learning how to bow from a very young age, companies commonly provide training to their employees in how to execute bows correctly. It is, after all, the feature of Japanese etiquette that is best known outside Japan.

Basic bows are performed with the back straight and the hands at the sides (boys and men) or clasped in the lap (girls and women) and always, regardless of sex, with the eyes down. 

Bows originate at the waist. Generally, the longer and deeper the bow, the stronger the emotion and the respect expressed.

Bows can be generally divided into three main types: informal, formal, and very formal. Informal bows are made at about a fifteen degree angle or just tilt over one's head to the front, and more formal bows at about thirty degrees. Very formal bows are deeper.

–Compiled from a variety of sources including Mail Online and The Telegraph

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia