Minor Points of Victorian Etiquette

An old style “bow” — a lady bows first to a gentleman in the street —an action positively forbidden to him—and you see in it the whole theory of the superior innocence of women.
— Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

The Usages of Polite Society

Harper’s Bazar thus pleasantly calls attention to some minor points of every-day etiquette: Take, for instance, the fact that a lady bows first to a gentleman in the street —an action positively forbidden to him—and you see in it the whole theory of the superior innocence of women. A man keeps his place in society, and has the entree of respectable houses, when, it is possible, his life has become questionable; the innocence of women of any such conduct is asserted and maintained by giving her the right to say who shall be her acquaintances. 

It is a safeguard of society; if he chooses lower women, he cannot have her. And thus many things that seem trifling have in reality important bearings. Among these let us mention the circumstance that previous permission is needed before the introduction of the friend who may be walking with you to the friend whom you may meet, and that it is equally necessary to know if it be desirable to the other party; unless this is understood, the friend who is with you will walk on a few paces slowly, should you find it necessary to stop and speak. 

Of course, cases arise where this rule must be violated, but in those you probably know circumstances that warrant your taking the law into your own hands. Permission, however, is not needed at a ball to introduce a gentleman to a lady for a dance, provided that you have the right of introduction, probably for the reason that she is at liberty in that case to continue or end the acquaintance next day. — 1877


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia