Teens Demanded Etiquette Classes?

Yes! In 1939, teens in the United States demanded instruction in good manners. That this wave of high school enthusiasm was nation-wide, was reported by Edith Stern in the educational journal, School and Society. – “Homes no longer teach gracious behavior, she finds, and youngsters find themselves miserable and embarrassed for lack of definite instruction. The teen-ager has discovered that good manners have something to do with popularity, and ultimately, says Miss Stern, with the ability to get and hold jobs.” 

Young Americans Demand Lessons in 

Best Manners

Young Americans are demanding—yes, demanding—lessons on manners. Starting with how to eat an olive in one lesson, on up to the subtleties of how to be polite though annoyed—high school boys as well as girls are surprising their teachers by eagerness to learn courtesy and tact. That the wave of high school enthusiasm is nation-wide is reported by Edith Stern in the educational journal, School and Society. 

Santa Rosa, California, has had to limit its course in etiquette to juniors and seniors, to avoid overcrowding. Students in Phoenix, Arizona, and in Minneapolis have written their own etiquette books, based on hundreds of questions asked by the boys and girls themselves. In a Missouri classroom, a teacher asked 41 freshmen how many had ever made an introduction and got seven raised hands in reply. When she asked if the class would like to be taught, a chorus of “Yeahs” arose. 

Psychological reasons backing up the young people’s eagerness to acquire polish are suggested by Miss Stern. Homes no longer teach gracious behavior, she finds, and youngsters find themselves miserable and embarrassed for lack of definite instruction. The teen-ager has discovered that good manners have something to do with popularity, and ultimately, says Miss Stern, with the ability to get and hold jobs. 

“New and interesting devices of instruction” are being experimentally evolved. A Baltimore high school has rehearsals of school dances. Baltimore seventh graders listen and learn telephone etiquette by aid of two disconnected phone receivers at ends of a long table. A California school teaches how to order dinner, using real menus supplied by local hotels. Elmdale, Kansas, uses the dramatic method, showing good restaurant manners acted at one side of a stage, and everything wrong at the other side. – San Pedro Pilot, 1939

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Plea for Elementary Etiquette

The teacher who adopts the rule of saying with a smile, “Thank you,” will be more cheerfully obeyed, and we all know that we comply more cheerfully when asked “Will you kindly do so and so?” than when we are commanded “to do so and so.”

In all of the ultra-fashioned schools girls particularly are taken through a regular course of etiquette, to fit them for the social world, and why not the children less fortunate who have no advantages of home training. A woman of refinement teaching a public school must often feel revolted at the manners of the little people who are so easily corrected when approached in the proper spirit, and it would seem less unpleasant to reform these tender sprigs than to train the hardened shoots of later years. A teacher who meets the children confided to her with a pleasant “Good morning” fosters a habit that a child will never outgrow. The teacher who adopts the rule of saying with a smile, “Thank you,” will be more cheerfully obeyed, and we all know that we comply more cheerfully when asked “Will you kindly do so and so?” than when we are commanded “to do so and so.” No one is ever the loser through extending courtesy, and we all know how much pleasure these trifles add to life. The politeness clauses should embrace a series of “talks,” or as the Italians say “conversaziones,” in which various topics should be discussed. 

An amiable teacher with a well developed vein of humor would find such classes a pleasant relaxation, but she should cultivate the tact that steers clear of both ridicule and sarcasm. A sensitive child, who felt its lack of polish, would be deeply hurt by ridicule in the presence of a whole school, but this self same sensitive young one would be the quickest to profit by such lessons. In this splendid country of ours, where fortunes are made in a day and the sons of laborers have an equal chance, through brains and, ability, of rising to the very highest positions in the gift of the people, where the daughters, through beauty of person or that indefinable charm of grace, may wed millionaires, the necessity of this species of training is obvious. Many of these children know nothing of the graceful amenities of life, which they are so anxious to learn. They are ambitious and self-reliant, as all American children are, and yet are hampered by the total ignorance of the merest rudiments of social ethics. In Washington, those having the interests of the rising generation at heart, cannot fail to appreciate the value of a course of “polite lessons” in the schools. – San Francisco Call, 1903

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Parties Can Help Teach Manners

Party experiences lead to habits, attitudes, and knowledge. But the kind and influence of the experiences depends a lot upon the adults behind the scenes. There are the little decencies and etiquette of behavior. To feel at ease at mixed social affairs is a blessing, many times in life. The party offers the chance to give that feeling to children at an early age. 

Your Child’s Manners and School Parties 

In large sections of the country, February is the “party month.” It is because many states observe Washington's birthday and Lincoln’s birthday, and always there is St. Valentine’s Day. I like to think of them educationally, for they do represent opportunities. In the first place, the party itself is an educative situation, since after all education is the acquisition of experiences. In turn, party experiences lead to habits, attitudes, and knowledge. But the kind and influence of the experiences depends a lot upon the adults behind the scenes. There are the little decencies and etiquette of behavior. To feel at ease at mixed social affairs is a blessing. Many times in life, the party offers the chance to give that feeling to children at an early age. 

Through games and stunts, we can help build an attitude toward sportsmanship. We can make fun the primary object of playing. If we’re very wise, we can do more for the self-conscious, shy, retiring child than by any other means at our disposal. The “eats” are always important, of course. While we shouldn’t talk health diets at parties, we can discover attractive and tasty combinations of fruits, custards, ice cream, and cakes. For beverages, fruit punches and iced chocolate milk drinks can’t be beat. A pure sweet at the end is never objectionable. Finally, we can, as sponsors, observe the bedtime rule in the case of evening parties. – Dr. Allen G. Ireland, Director of Physical and Health Education, New Jersey State Department of Public Institutions, 1935

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Who Should Teach It

On adding the teaching of etiquette to the school curriculum – “There can hardly be a more enlarged field for study and practice than this involves ; nor is there any field of education in which there is greater scope for the ingenuity of the urbane teacher. Much depends on the teacher, and far more on the matter of her instruction.”

Politeness by the Book

The school board of this city has resolved to add a course of lessons in etiquette to the regular curriculum of the public schools. Manuals of politeness are to be furnished, aud some of the best readers will read aloud from these, the teacher following in a brief oral exposition with practice in the various branches. The studies in etiquette are to cover a wide range. General precepts are to be particularized into such details as dress, carriage and bearing, conversation, table-manners, riding and driving, school-deportment and the rules of behavior laid down by George Washington. 

There can hardly be a more enlarged field for study and practice than this involves ; nor is there any field of education in which there is greater scope for the ingenuity of the urbane teacher. Much depends on the teacher, and far more on the matter of her instruction. A teacher who undertakes to “hear a recitation” in politeness, after the wooden manner in which a large proportion of the recitations are “heard,” will make the thing intensely ridiculous. An acidulous person whose habit is to enforce lessons by scolding them into the children will make their victims hate politeness aud despise the very name of it. The instructor who drills the classes in the mere observances of polite forms and phrases may succeed in rescuing the scholars from the extremity of boorishness, but will fail in imparting to them any of the graces of geuuiue good breeding. The teacher whose custom it is to bark and bite at the poor children in order to drive instruction into their unwilling minds will find himself a laughing-stock as he reads off from his politeness-book some unpleasant injunction to courteous demeanor. 

There is a great deal of so-called politeness which is only of the book, bookish. It is empty, formal and unsatisfactory, it is well that children speak when they are spoken to, do as they are bidden, salute their betters in an elegant manner, keep their persons clean and do unto others as they would have others do to them. But the mechanical ritual of all these things may be made a continual horror. Some teachers and parents keep children in a constant state of worry by saying, as they tweak the ears of the poor creatures or with the knuckles rap them on the head: “Sit up, there!” or “Behave now, will you?” Many otherwise excellent people introduce this sort of etiquette-drill at the table, until the rigorous way in which the lambs are made to bleat out “please” and “thank you” is enough to destroy the appetite of anybody who practices and values true politeness. 

Success or failure in teaching politeness depends on whether the teacher is or is not polite than on the particular manual of etiquette which a school board may select. There are fine arts and true graces in real politeuess which some boors can never master. There is a refinement and an elegance in it which is inborn with many people. If instruction in the art is attempted with the right spirit and by the proper sort of people, there is hope that it may be measurably successful. But there are some crusty and ill-favored imparters of instruction who should forever be excused from all attempts at teaching the doctrines or practices of etiquette. –Philadelphia Times, May 8, 1880

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and the California Teacher

It will be necessary to instruct children upon the modesty which ought to appear on all occasions in their outward deportment—on the proper manner of sitting, of standing and of walking— on the proper positions for the hands and feet— on tbe proper uses of their exterior senses, especially on the use of the eyes, and the necessity of keeping them within due bounds—on the manner of speaking and pronouncing, of yawning and of spitting—and also to point out the more common faults of children in these respects.

On Teaching Manners in Schools 

The following is a portion of an essay from 

“The California Teacher,” 1865

The teacher's manner, for his own sake as well as for the good of his pupils, should be uniformly courteous. This courtesy does not consist in any studied conformity to certain forms and rules of expression and contact, but will naturally arise from a true appreciation of the relation of teacher and pupil. It must spring from real kindness, and will not at all detract from the dignity of the teacher, but, on the contrary, will serve to uphold it. 

Even in the infliction of punishment, the teacher may and should preserve his dignity ; and, at the same time, by a certain mildness, yet firmness of manner, make the punishment doubly effective for the child's good. Every punishment given in passion becomes not only useless, but positively hurtful. The teacher who is unable to control his own temper, cannot exercise proper moral control over his pupils. There is one truth which should be kept steadily before our minds, and which will enlighten us in many of our duties. It is this: the schools are built and organized, not for tbe benefit of the teachers, but entirely for that of the pupils. 

The teacher is for the school; and not, as some would have it, the school for the teacher. Another matter, in which the example of the teacher must have a great effect, is that of punctuality. Tardiness on the part of pupils is admitted to be a great evil, wherever it exists. But with what consistency can a teacher rebuke her pupils for coming late, if she herself is habitually, or even occasionally, late in her classroom. Punctuality must also extend to the various duties of the day, doing everything at its proper time, and rendering prompt obedience to the various signals. Teachers as well as pupils have to obey—whether it be the common rules of the manual, the special regulations of their respective schools, or their own program. It is an axiom that, “He is unfit to command, who has not learned to obey.” 

I have stated that the first and best method to inculcate good manners is by example. I do not mean to say that it is unnecessary to teach also by precept. This, indeed, is very necessary, particularly now-a-days, that the manners of our youth are so neglected by many parents. Children need very positive instructions concerning their personal deportment, and these instructions will need to be more minute in the lower grades, and where there is reason to believe they have been neglected at home. These instructions must apply not only to their demeanor in school, but also in the various circumstances in which they may be placed on the street, at table, in company, during play, in public places, and in conversation.

It will be necessary to instruct children upon the modesty which ought to appear on all occasions in their outward deportment—on the proper manner of sitting, of standing and of walking— on the proper positions for the hands and feet— on the proper uses of their exterior senses, especially on the use of the eyes, and the necessity of keeping them within due bounds—on the manner of speaking and pronouncing, of yawning and of spitting—and also to point out the more common faults of children in these respects. Again, young people need to be taught the rules of propriety to be observed in the various ordinary actions that go to make up the daily life of each individual. First, on the advantages of early rising, and the proper time for retiring to rest. All should be impressed with the importance of daily offering themselves to the Author of their being, and of imploring as their first act in the morning gives guidance during the day. 

Dress is a matter which will next claim our attention. Here, all excess is to be avoided on the one hand and on the other, negligence and slovenliness. In this, as in other things, the golden mean is to be sought. Singularity of dress is to be shunned : oddity in this respect is generally a proof, or of least a strong indication, that the mind is more or less deranged. Children should not be allowed to frequent school with torn garments. Generally, a private admonition will obtain the mending required. It is important that admonitions of this kind be given privately: for it is not just that children should be publicly rebuked for the neglect of their parents. Love of dress is generally considered as a weakness of the female sex, and girls need, therefore, to be guarded against vanity, and an overwhelming love of display in this respect. St. Paul, in his first Epistle to Timothy, advises women to be clad only in decent apparel, by adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, and not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. 

In regard to eating and drinking, young persons should be taught to observe temperance and regularity, and also the rule of etiquette and decorum while at table. A person of good breeding will show it here more than anywhere else. Recreation being a necessity of our nature, for the refreshment of both mind and body, a portion of the day may very properly be set apart for innocent amusement. The more advanced girls in our schools need to be specially admonished as to their deportment on the street. They should know that many things which might be excused in the other sex, would be very reprehensible in them. Teachers should impress upon their pupils the importance of going directly home when dismissed from school. The practice of retaining pupils, especially girls, after the usual school-hours, is liable to many objections, and should, I think, be discouraged.

A word now about conversation, and I have done. In this matter it is not easy to assign rules : for it is very difficult for anyone, whether old or young, to avoid faults in speaking. We are told in Scripture that “if a man offend not with the tongue, the same is a perfect man.” It is impossible to talk very much without saying many things that had better remain unspoken. Conversation ought always to be marked by prudence and modesty : and above all, by candor and sincerity. I have thus far endeavored to give a brief sketch of some of the many things which may very properly be told for the benefit of those who look to us for instruction and advice. We must remember that many of those we instruct will receive little or no other information of this kind besides that given in the school-room.

In some instances the parents stand in need of instruction full as much, and perhaps more, than their children ; and when given in a proper spirit, and so as to interest the little ones, they will carry home the lesson received, and thus become little missionaries of truth and good in their houses and families. The teacher's lesson will live and not be lost. It will be remembered with gratitude in after years. Our reward will be in the consciousness that we are thus fulfilling our high mission, which is to improve—to elevate—to refine. —A. E. Mc Glynn, in California Teacher, in the California Farmer and Journal of Useful Sciences, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Manners, Morals and More

Teachers assist children to develop good manners and morals; they help in problems of social adjustment; they impress upon them the fundamental concepts of democracy; and in the stresses of this war-torn world, they attempt to keep the children well-balanced emotionally.

Speaker at Parent Teacher Meeting

Donald Drummond, acting principal of the Grammar and Junior High Schools, gave an interesting and enlightening talk on “The School’s Service to the Community” at the regular monthly meeting of the Parent-Teacher Association on Monday evening, October 23, in the High School library. He described the far more than “Three Rs” which teachers of our public schools teach the young people of the community who are in their charge for the better part of the day. 

They check on their physical health; they assist them to develop good manners and morals; they help in problems of social adjustment; they impress upon them the fundamental concepts of democracy; and in the stresses of this war-torn world, they attempt to keep the children well-balanced emotionally. The Association agreed with the speaker that Coronado is particularly fortunate to have efficient teachers with real responsibility in their work of supplementing home training for the benefit of both individuals and community. – The Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1944

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Victorian School Etiquette

“Good manners are the shadows of virtues, if not virtues themselves.”

School-Room Etiquette

If teachers realized the inestimable amount of good they might accomplish by giving a little time and thought to the manners of their pupils, surely they would willingly give it. Those of their pupils who have no proper training at home would thus gain a knowledge which, in after life, would prove a blessing. And such a course acted upon by the teacher would be of great assistance to the parents of those who are well trained at home; for a large portion of a child’s time is spent in school, and under conditions that require such training.

Teachers must treat their scholars politely if they expect polite treatment from them.

Every teacher should see that no pupil is allowed to treat those of a lower station in life with disrespect.

It is a common occurrence for a teacher to speak with seeming disrespect of a pupil’s parents, blaming them for the pupil’s lack of interest in school, truancy, etc. Such a course is highly reprehensible in the teacher, and gains the pupil’s ill-will. It is better to assume that the parents would be displeased with anything wrong in the pupil, and to appeal to the pupil for his mother’s or father’s sake.

A teacher should never allow herself or himself to be addressed by pupils as “Teacher,” but as Miss or Mr. Smith.

If pupils would take pains to bid a teacher “good-morning” and “good-night,” they would appear well in so doing, and easily give pleasure to another.

The entire atmosphere of a school-room is dependent upon trifles. Where a teacher, by her own actions and in accordance with her requirements, insures kindness and politeness from all to all, she may feel almost sure of the success of her school.

Young misses ought to be addressed by the teacher as “Miss Julia,” “Miss Annie.” Young boys (too young to be addressed as Mr.) should be addressed as “Master Brown,” “Master Jones,” etc.

Teachers should use great discretion in reproving any unintentional rudeness, especially on the part of those ignorant from lack of home training. If such were reproved gently and privately, it would be more efficacious and just. No one should be allowed to appear to disadvantage from ignorance.

Selfishness, untruthfulness, slang, rowdyism, egotism, or any show of superiority should be corrected in the school-room.

Young teachers hardly realize with what fear and dread mothers intrust to them their carefully reared children, especially young ones.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

More Etiquette and Public Schools

Men who tuck their napkins under their chin, who partake of their soup audibly, and who flourish toothpicks at the table, in the corridors and on the verandas... are to be met with everywhere in this land.

Long on Money, Short on Manners 

At any one of our seashore resorts in the summer, or our winter resort hotels, one may encounter men and women by the score who have been successful in the battle for worldly wealth, but whose early education lacked training in this special direction of refined manners. 

Men who tuck their napkins under their chin, men and women who partake of their soup audibly, and who flourish toothpicks at the table, in the corridors and on the verandas, and even men and women who convey food to the mouth by means of the knife, forgetting that the knife is only appropriate for cutting and not for carrying food, are to be met with everywhere in this land. 

Many of our early Puritan fathers were very indifferent to these matters as they were opposed to all things ornamental and beautiful in life. They taught only the stern virtues, and principles, and an austere religion. The ornamental, the gracious, the courteous sides of life they considered of no value. The New England world has changed many of its ideas in modern times, but it needs to change still more, and to carry its modern ideas still farther, by introducing instruction in good manners into our school systems. 

It is only the exceptionally well bred little boy who does not rush ahead of older people, thrust women and children aside and force himself into public conveyances in a hurry to obtain a seat. Not one small boy in one thousand ever rises and offers an older person a seat. Not more than one in one thousand has been taught to rise when a lady enters a room. 

These small courtesies mark the well bred man when he is grown and their absence marks the boor. The world would be a more agreeable place, and man and women more agreeable companions were our public schools to introduce a department for teaching good manners. —Ella Wheeler - Wilcox 

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Etiquette Essential to Schools

It would be of great importance to the world at large were the public schools of America to institute a "good manners department” in the kindergarten, the primary and intermediate departments of all schools. — Ella Wheeler–Wilcox

Teaching in School —

Need of Instruction to Make Children More Courteous and Refined 

Training in Good Manners Is Essential to a Country Which Is a Smelting Pot of Offspring from Every Nationality on Earth

OUR school system needs revolutionizing. The community is taxed heavily to support school institutions. The introduction of the drawing master, the music master, the district nurse, the visiting dentist and doctor, all means increased taxes for the people. Most of these innovations on the old school system (which consisted of teaching the "Three R’s  — reading, writing and 'rithmetic" ) are of value to the children —the coming generation of men and women. 

It is, however, the opinion of many thinking people that the time and money expended on the teaching of art in our public schools, might well be reduced to a minimum. Not one child in one hundred possesses sufficient talent in this line to make it worth while to continue the study after school years. The child who does possess such talent would be discovered, were not a whole community taxed and the time of an entire school taken a portion of each day, which might well be devoted to something of more universal value. 

One of the most important things in the education of any man or woman is good manners. Manners which do not offend in dally deportment. A man may know nothing of art and nothing of music and yet not offend his neighbors, though he live to be a hundred years old. But the man who knows nothing of the niceties of good manners at the table, or deportment in public vehicles, or places of entertainment, is a continual annoyance and irritation, to his fellow beings. To eat noisily, to display a toothpick in public, to use the knife where the fork is intended, to crowd in front of women and children, to talk loud in public—all these habits interfere with the general well being. 

It is in the early childhood life that right habits should be taught. It would be of great importance to the world at large were the public schools of America to institute a "good manners department” in the kindergarten, the primary and intermediate departments of all schools. Ten minutes each day given to instruction by short talks and demonstrations on these subjects would accomplish miracles of good. 

Listen to the "gum-chewers," the right way of manipulation of the knife and fork at the table, the right attitudes, the proper use of the napkin... are all matters of much greater importance in the education of the average child than instruction in drawing or in dissection of dead animals. Our country is a smelting pot of every nationality on earth. Our schools are composed of children from all classes and all climes.

Many people come to us whose lives in the old countries have been passed in remote places, far from centers of civilization, where no knowledge is obtainable of the niceties of life. The children are reared by these parents in the same habits which characterized their early environments. A large majority of these children will grow up to be intellectually brilliant men and women, and many of them will occupy prominent places, industrially and politically. It is important that they should be trained in good manners in the small things of life as well as in intelectual development. If young children are made to realize that good manners are regarded as a part of education, they will use their influence upon their parents. —Ella Wheeler - Wilcox, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

School Etiquette for Parents

"Helicopter Parenting" was just beginning to be a  problem, back in 1969!  —Thousands of mothers are facing up to a child going off to school for the very first time and not knowing how to behave!

Mothers! Observe ‘School Etiquette’

Etiquette books are filled with sound rules about not digging into your hominy grits with a knife and the good ones have chapters covering wedding invitations and how much to tip the butler after a weekend at Mrs. Rich’s estate. But here we are in the first semester of the school year and what, I ask, have the noble, knowledgeable rule-givers done about that? Thousands of mothers are facing up to it for the very first time and not knowing how to behave. 

I observed some on the first day of school. Three were crying; four lurked on the lawn until recess; one brought the teacher a list entitled, Things to Remember about Paul. Why didn’t someone tell them the way to leave a child? (Shake hands with teacher with one’s right hand and, at the same time, with the left hand, give child a deft thrust into room.) 

It’s nice to know the fine points on accepting gracefully a child’s first drawing. (Holding paper carefully, turn it around and around and say, “It’s so colorful! Wasn't this fun?” Do not EVER say, “What a pretty kitty!” or “Such a NICE tree,” because things are never what they seem to be.) 

Then there’s the first time the child announces he is never going to school again, although, heaven knows, nobody can really give us a rule on how to act here. (Just remember how wonderful life can be without his throwing a ball against the house and singing, “Oh! You! Pretty Chitty Bang Bang!" the livelong day. You’ll think of something.)

We need pointers on how to behave at school meetings. In theory, parents and teachers come together to discuss ways and means of improving school conditions. In reality, these meetings are usually long discussions on whether or not the fall festival money should buy new roll-away bleachers for the gym or new saw horses to block off the playground during the fall festival. A parent must go to the meetings so his child’s room can win the attendance award. 

During the meetings, do not ask about reading programs or the quality of school lunches. This marks one as inexperienced or, at the least, stupid. It would be helpful if schools would issue brochures listing jobs you can do for them throughout the year. Time, tempers and manners would he more easily controlled if one could only check off “Sell candy bars for band uniforms” or "Dance chaperone" or “Lunch room duty." Because this is not the practice at most schools, all I can tell you is to be tactful and patient when your telephone rings eight million times daily. 

Some parents would like to know the proper way of giving advice when school officials ask opinions on textbooks or teaching methods. Don’t waste time worrying about this. The problem simply never comes up. —By Betty Canary, The Desert Sun, 1969

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Education

Good manners should be taught to very young children, and the inculcation of the principles and practice of polite society should be continued throughout the whole period of adolescence.

Child, Where Did You Learn Your Good Manners?

WRITING from New York, where the rush and bustle of crowded city life make incivilities the rule and courtesy the exception, Margery Rex declares that the public school authorities of that city contemplate including the teaching of politeness in the educational curriculum.

Good manners should be taught to very young children, and the inculcation of the principles and practice of polite society should be continued throughout the whole period of adolescence; indeed it should not stop with the adult, but become a habit to follow one through life. 

Good manners ought to be taught at home, and are the more easily inculcated by force of example. But when parents are ignorant of, or indifferent to, the courtesies of domestic life—deference to one’s elders, chivalrous attention of the masculine to the feminine, the helping hand to smaller and weaker ones, repression of one’s own selfishness and tender of kindly offices at table and in the daily goings and comings—when these courtesies are quite disregarded by the elders it cannot be expected that children will show the gentlemanly and ladylike traits of good breeding. 

So that if normal courtesies and conventions of etiquette are not taught at home it becomes doubly necessary that the school strive to make amends. Else it will happen that in the crucible of the schoolroom and playground the mixture of good manners and bad will result in lowering the average rather than raising it. Children somehow learn evil from each other more readily than good. But that is because no child is ideal to another child. 

Juvenile ideals are the grownups. The father and mother first have most influence over the growing child, the school teachers next, and thereafter other elder persons of distinction and accomplishments. Politeness is not natural to children, because every child is a little savage and a bigger barbarian before it can be civilized. 

In a land of independence and of struggle to attain the high prizes, the amenities of self-denial in little things are an efflorescence of later life. Good manners should be the accompaniment of learning. They deserve to be incorporated as a course of study from kindergarten to university. — 1921 Los Angeles Herald

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia