Gilded Age “Emergency Etiquette”

Humor has long been used to make fun of one’s social foibles. Many of those in power socially, feel the need to appear effortlessly in control of their actions, and that they are above the little faux pas that seem to plague the rest of us on a regular basis. They always seem to make the easiest target of the etiquette satire. 

A Few Points of  Etiquette 

Advice Easy to Remember and Practice in an Emergency

In the mad whirl of the cotillion, if you wear ready made clothing bought from an irresponsible dealer, and hear a h-z-z-z that doesn’t harmonize with the F string on the bass fiddle, it is entirely correct and proper to not “forward and back” according to the commands of the figure caller, but to back straight ahead without balking, until you reach the wall, when a pin neatly utilized may cover your embarrassment and retreat. People who snicker under such circumstances should be put outside the pale of good society. 

When invited out to dinner and you inadvertently get a huge mouthful of mince pie that is hot enough to melt the solder off a gas pipe, tangled up in your epiglottis, do not act as if you had the whooping cough, but arise calmly and with a sleight-of-hand movement toss the offending morsel behind the majolica dog in the corner, meantime patting his head as though you thought him alive. This graceful act never fails to win the heart of your hostess, who thinks you intend her faithful friend to partake of the festivities. 

Some writer on etiquette, a good many years ago, said that it was perfectly proper to eat fried chicken with the fingers. I have often noticed people seize on a wing and rip it open like they would tear a yard of clothing material or a bolt of calico, and so the cracking of the crazy bone was audible all over the dining room. It is true that some fried chickens require heroic treatment, but when an apprentice in etiquette tries to jerk the goose flesh off the second joint of a Louis XIV hen and squirts a streak of gravy into the eye of his neighbor, it does seem that a new code regarding the best manner of shattering the remains of a hard boiled fowl should be introduced. 

When the sheriff of the county serves a subpoena on you, it is considered in good taste to attend his reception without further invitation on his part. Some sticklers on politeness, however, who find that it will prevent their witnessing a ball game, go to the extreme of sending around a physician’s certificate to the effect that they are indisposed from the influence of the sportive element. 

Don't use snuff if your false teeth are not strictly adhesive. I once heard of a case where this rule was not observed, when the transgressor, in a thoughtless moment, nearly knocked the eye out of a King Charles spaniel. In any cases of doubt about the minor points of etiquette a strong bluff on a weak hand, will almost always win. Rochester Union, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Snuff Etiquette and History

A tract in the British Museum on “The Natural History of Tobacco” reads: “The Irishmen do most commonly powder their tobacco and stuff it up their nostrils.” This makes the Irish the probable inventors of snuff. In some remote and primitive parts of Ireland at a dead man's wake, a plate of snuff is placed on the body of the deceased, and the etiquette is for all those who are invited to attend the funeral, to take a pinch on entering the house of mourning.

A History of Snuff

It Antedates Generally Conceived Opinions of the Dust

In the “First Part of King Henry IV” a speech is given to Hotspur, the famous and fiery Harry Percy, which has puzzled many readers, says the Troy Times. After the battle of Holmedon, on the Scottish border, in the year 1401, Hotspur, who was victorious, describes an interview he had, after the fight was done, with a certain effeminate courtier, and says:

He was perfumed like a milliner,
And 'twixt his finger and his thumb he held
A pouncet-box, which ever and anon
He gave his nose, and took't away again:
Who, there withangry, when it next came there,
Took it in snuff.

Shakespeare’s play was written, or at least published in the year 1598, near the close of Queen Elizabeth's reign, and the question propounded is not only was snuff taken in Hotspur's time, but nearly two centuries later, in Shakespeare's time. As far as can be ascertained, what is known in modern times as snuff, was used by fashionable gentlemen in Shakespeare's time. Tobacco was in use in England years before Shakespeare made Hotspur ridicule a fop for taking snuff in an affected manner. 

From the native Virginians came the practice of smoking (taken up by the English in 1500); but a tract in the British Museum on "The Natural History of Tobacco" says: “The Irishmen do most commonly powder their tobacco and stuff it up their nostrils." This makes the Irish the probable inventors of snuff. In some remote and primitive parts of Ireland at a dead man's wake, a plate of snuff is placed on the body of the deceased, and the etiquette is for all those who are invited to attend the funeral, to take a pinch on entering the house of mourning.

In the “Life of Columbus” it is stated that the great voyager had noticed smoking and snuff-taking in Hispaniola. Las Casas, writing in 1529, also mentions it, with much minuteness of detail. Frequent mention is made in the Spectator (Addison and Steele's well-known weekly, begun in 1711) of female snuff-takers in the reign of Queen Anne. 

Fashionable ladies, it is said, of all ages freely indulged in it, even offering their boxes to their friends as they sat in the church pews during divine worship. Queen Charlotte, wife of George III and grandmother of Queen Victoria, was a perpetual snuff-taker during the whole time of her residence in England, from her arrival and marriage in 1701 to her death in 1818. She had a great partiality for accepting presents of snuff, particularly when it was given in gold snuff-boxes. The enmity exhibited by Queen Charlotte against Caroline of Brunswick, the unfortunate wife of him who finally became George IV, has been attributed to the fact that in an intercepted letter from Caroline to her mother the Queen, was ridiculed as “snuffy old Charlotte.”

Snuff has very much fallen into disuse. In our time the fair sex do not patronize snuff. The leaders of “Martin Chuzzlewit” must sympathise with Betsy Prig's remarkable objections to Mrs. Gamp's untidy ways with her snuff, when she had to entreat that admirable harrican not to "go-a-dropping none of it” into the dish of sliced cucumber, prepared in vinegar which they were to have for supper. “In gruel, barley water, apple tea, mutton broth and that, it don't signify,” Mrs. Prig added, “and it stimulates a patient, but I don't relish it myself.” – San Francisco Call, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Snuff and Etiquette at Versailles

Smoking was popular as well! – The active ingredient in tobacco was named “nicotine” after the French diplomat, Jean Nicot. Nicot introduced snuff tobacco to French Queen, Catherine de Medici, and the French Nobility.

After a French ambassador to Portugal returned to France with an addictive plant discovered in the New World, it caused a sensation in the French Royal Court. French diplomat and scholar, Jean Nicot, had been introduced to tobacco in Lisbon. There, it was being crushed into powder and was used as the remedy for a variety of maladies, ironically including cancer. Snuffing became a popular activity in Paris after the Queen Mother herself, Catherine de Medici, was introduced to snuffing tobacco by Nicot. He had demonstrated the inhalation of powdered tobacco, as a way to cure  de Medici's frequent headaches. It was later named the genus of tobacco cultivars “Nicotiana,” by the Swedish naturalist Carl Linnaeus in Nicot's honor. The active ingredient in tobacco was also named “nicotine” after the French diplomat.

Snuffing remained popular, and addictive, with the French Royals and Nobility. By the 18th century, snuff boxes were as socially important as fine pieces of jewelry. Anyone who was anyone needed to have a variété of these boxes. And as fashions changed frequently, so did the styles and designs of snuff boxes. At Versailles, showered with extravagance upon her marriage to Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette was gifted with 52 gold snuff boxes. From all accounts, Marie Antoinette was more likely to carry a box of bon-bons on her person, than a snuff box,  but she is said to have been responsible for the French standardization of the modern-day handkerchief.

Prior to the arrival and ultimate popularity of snuff tobacco in Europe, the handkerchief had become simply another object of fashion. Snuff brought the handkerchief back to its original purpose, and was indispensable for cleaning orange-brown, snuff-stained noses and fingers. White handkerchiefs were hardly appropriate for such a task, so snuff users began to employ large, colorful handkerchiefs to hide those stains. The handkerchief, up to that time, had come in many shapes; square, triangular, etc... According to legend, Marie Antoinette remarked that the square-shaped handkerchief at Versailles was the most pleasing, as well as the most convenient to use. The remark is said to have prompted Louis XVI to make mandatory that all handkerchiefs produced in France to be square in shape.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Supreme Court Snuff Etiquette

Use of snuff was common in the U.S. capital for all branches of government. Dating from days when it was customary for gentlemen to take snuff, the two delicately, colored snuff-boxes at the entrance to the Senate chamber in Washington were kept filled while the Senate is in session. Originally placed to prevent head colds, the snuff was still used liberally by Senators through to the latter 20th Century. 

TO PROTECT SACRED SNUFF 

Reason Given for the High Bench Behind Which Supreme Court Judges Have Their Seats

The Federal Supreme court is celebrating its centenary of “the high bench.” Originally the Justices sat behind a long bench on the floor of the courtroom, on a level with the lawyers who tried their cases before them. This straight desk had set into it a snuff box opposite each Justice’s seat. 

Henry Clay was arguing a case before the court. During a pause in his argument, one of the Justices reached forward, took a pinch of snuff and settled back to weigh the more carefully the reasoning presented. In his next pause, Mr. Clay reached over and with a “Thank you” took a pinch himself. The court was indignant. 

That afternoon they met to decide what could be done to preclude the possibility of a second breach of the “etiquette of the court” and decided to have a bench made of such height that no mere practitioner could reach their pet snuff. Since then they have sat behind the high bench that is in use today. —New York, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

More Etiquette of Snuff

A nobleman with his fingers in his snuff box — Snuff is powdered tobacco, usually blended with aromatic herbs or spices. The habit of snuff-taking spread to China from the West during the 17th century and became established in the 18th century. People generally carried snuff in a small bottle. By the 20th century these bottles had become collectors' items, owing to the great variety of materials, precious stones, rock crystal, etc.... and decorative techniques used in their production.

More Snuff Etiquette

Traditionally gentlemen should never take snuff when ladies are present. However if you are in a situation where modern interaction would usually allow both sexes to smoke, for example a public house, then it is acceptable. 

Formal etiquette dictates that women abstain from tobacco until at least fifty years of age. (Wife of King George III, "Snuffy Charlotte," could have avoided that nick-name, had she heeded this advice).

The best of the Viennese tradition of gold box-making is shown in this superbly enameled snuff box, which forms part of a set. Catering for the necessities of elegant life, it comprises an étui or small case with a knife, snuff spoon, toothpick and ear pick, watch and châtelaine (from which one's watch hung) and a matching snuff-box. 

Snuff-boxes should be chosen for each varying occasion. For a formal event, a silver, ivory or mother-of-pearl snuff-box, is appropriate. A brass or teak snuff-box is much more appropriate for watching rugby, or 'rugger.' Pewter should not be used, as the metal is too soft, and a leather or cloth snuff-pouch is not considered suitable, because the snuff will often become too moist.

Take the snuff-box from your pocket and pass it into your left hand. Your inner left jacket pocket should be used to store all tobacco products.

Tap the snuff-box with your middle and fore-finger, so that the powdered tobacco gathers at one side. This will also alert your acquaintances that snuff is about to be passed around.              

Open the snuff-box and inspect the contents. Check that the tobacco is not damp and that it is finely powdered. If one finds it is unusable, or if there is insufficient snuff to provide for the group, there is no shame in returning the snuff-box to one's pocket at this point.


If one finds there is enough snuff for the present company, the proper etiquette is to present the snuff-box with a courteous bow. 

The snuff-box travels in a clockwise manner, (the opposite of food at a table) and should only be held in the left hand. It is very reminiscent of the way port is passed.

Receive the snuff-box back with the left hand.          

Above– A selection of Chinese snuff holders. French Emporer Napoleon was once given a fragile mother-of-pearl snuff-box by Empress Josephine. When it broke through his overuse, Napoleon was distraught until Josephine presented him with another.     

Gather the snuff by striking the side with the middle and forefinger. Take a pinch with the right hand, between the thumb and fore-finger. Hold the snuff for a second or two between the fingers before taking. This not only allows sufficient time to pass the snuff-box forward without keeping people waiting, but also displays that you are not greedy, nor are you hoarding the snuff-box.

Carry the pinch to the nose. Never lean towards your hand. If anything snuff should be taken with your head tilted slightly backwards. 

A fashionable, mustachioed gent's snuff holder ··· "Edward Wortley Montagu, the eccentric son of Lady Mary, is said to have possessed more snuff- boxes than would suffice a Chinese idol with a hundred noses— a collection which, perhaps, was never equaled, unless by that of King George IV, who was not less extravagant and recherche in snuff and snuff-boxes than in other things."— San Francisco Call, 1896

Snuff can also be taken from an indentation formed at the base of the thumb. If you place your hand flat on the table with your fingers spread. Then as you raise the thumb this will reveal what is known as 'The Anatomical Snuff-box' or what is sometimes known colloquially as 'The Poorman's Snuff-box.' This method is not recommended because the valuable snuff is far more likely to spill. 

One should attempt to snuff with precision by both nostrils and without grimaces or distortion of the features.                     

Above- An ornate, wooden snuff-box, in the shape of a boot. – According to Betty Boyd Caroli, Dolly Madison, the wife of US President James Madison, used snuff. Caroli writes, "Stained fingers left little doubt that she used snuff, not an acceptable habit for 19th C. ladies, but one that was excused in her." One woman supposedly mused that in Mrs. Madison's hands, "... the snuff-box seems only a gracious implement with which to charm" according to the author. It is also said that Mrs. Madison requested a closed casket at her funeral, as snuff-taking had falllen out of vogue for women and she did not want anyone to see her stained fingers. 

A very important point of differentiation between the etiquette of British and European snuff-takers, is that in European countries it is acceptable to let out a large sneeze after taking snuff. However, in Britain, doing so is considered quite rude. 

It is also very important that you sniff but do not snort. The snuff should not enter deeply into the sinuses. (Contrary to this advice in 1820 the "double barreled snuff pistol" was invented; it was capable of packing a day's worth of snuff into the nose using an explosive charge. This kind of behavior would be considered vulgar by anyone's standards.)          

"PARDON MY SNEEZE! —Dating from days when it was customary for gentlemen to take snuff, the two delicately, colored snuff-boxes at the entrance to the Senate chamber in Washington are kept filled while the Senate is in session. Here is Dick Oyster, in charge of stationery, filling them. Originally placed to prevent head colds, the snuff is still used liberally by the solons." — The Madera Tribune, 1937

Close your snuff-box with a flourish. Then, return it to your jacket pocket.

Always wipe your nose and collar with a handkerchief. Specialist handkerchiefs are available for this purpose. Usually found to be colorful, patterned and silken, they are made to be thrown away, as they will rapidly become soiled and a dark brown, whenever the nose runs.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Snuff

Offering a pinch of snuff —Throughout the 17th Century, the use of snuff was growing in Europe, however it was Louis XV of France who banned the use of snuff from the French Court, during his reign.

On Snuff Etiquette 

The art of snuff taking has historically had a variety of etiquette rules and hidden references of significance in one's social status. There has been wide use amongst noblemen and the common man alike, but the more elegant the manner in which snuff was stored and taken, the higher the social status of the snuffer. 

The French historian Henri d'Allemagne aptly describes this: “To take snuff, people of noble birth were meant to tap on the lid, take a few grains with the tip of their slender fingers, to make a slight gesture and to inhale the powder with ecstasy. 

On the contrary, the countryman digged his thumb and forefinger inside the snuff box in order to take out a large pinch of tobacco, putting it on the back of his left hand and snorted it in a noisy way while rubbing his nose.”          

According to the book, “Drugs in Society,” snuffing first became fashionable in the court of France during King Louis XIII’s reign, though he actually would not permit it in his presence.  It was considered daintier and more elegant than inhaling smoke.

“As snuff-taking is merely an idle, dirty habit, practised by stupid people in the unavailing endeavor to clear their stolid intellect, and is not a custom particularly offensive to their neighbors, it may be left to each individual taste as to whether it be continued or not. An ‘Elegant’ cannot take much snuff without decidedly  ‘losing caste.’ 

‘Doctor,’ said an old gentleman, who was an inveterate snuff-taker, to a physician, ‘is it true that snuff destroys the olfactory nerves, clogs, and otherwise injures the brain?’ ‘It cannot be true,’ was the caustic reply, ‘since those who have any brains never take snuff at all.’” — George Stewart Rippey, 1895   

“Snuffing, hawking and expectorating must never be done in society.”– John H. Young, 1881 

“Never refuse with disdain a pinch of snuff, and rather than disoblige people, take one, even if you throw it away, after having pretended to take it. Beware of presenting to ladies, in balls or assemblies, a box of sweet things, under penalty of having the air of a caricature.” –Elisabeth Celnart, 1833 

“Never take the chair usually occupied by the lady or gentleman of the house, even though they be absent, nor use the snuff-box of another, unless he offers it.” –Arthur Martine, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Etiquette of Tobacco Use

You have the same right to smoke, take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a filthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in either case, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people by their exhibition in society. 

Victorian Etiquette Advice on Tobacco

If you use tobacco, in any forth, allow us to whisper a useful hint or two in your ear...

Smoking, snuff-taking, and especially chewing, are bad habits at best, and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refined people, and especially to ladies. You have the same right to smoke, take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a filthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in either case, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people by their exhibition in society. 

Smoke if you will, chew, take snuff (against our earnest advice, however), make yourself generally and particularly disagreeable, but you must suffer the consequences — the social outlawry which must result.

Shall we convert our parlors into tobacco shops, risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from the random shots of your disgusting saliva, and fill the whole atmosphere of our house with a pungent stench, to the discomfort and disgust of everybody else, merely for the pleasure of your company? We have rights as well as you, one of which is to exclude from our circle all persons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us. You talk of rights. You can not blame others for exercising theirs.

There are degrees here as everywhere else. One may chew a little, smoke an occasional cigar, and take a pinch of snuff now and then, and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence of others, and is very careful to purify his person before going into company, he may confine the bad effects, which he can not escape, mostly to his own person. But he must not smoke in any parlor, or sitting-room, or dining room, or sleeping chamber, or in the street, and particularly not in the presence of ladies, anywhere. – From 1887's "How to Behave"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J .Graber, is the Editor and Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Tobacco Etiquette

If you are so unfortunate as to have contracted the low habit of smoking, be careful to practise it under certain restrictions; at least, so long as you are desirous of being “being considered fit for civilized society.

SMOKING

IF you are so unfortunate as to have contracted the low habit of smoking, be careful to practice it under certain restrictions; at least, so long as you are desirous of being “being considered fit for civilized society.

The first mark of a gentleman is a sensitive regard for the feelings of others; therefore, smoke where it is least likely to prove personally offensive by making your clothes smell; then wash your mouth, and brush your teeth. What man of delicacy could presume to address a lady with his breath smelling of onions ? Yet tobacco is .equally odious. -The tobacco smoker, in public, is the most selfish animal imaginable.  He perseveres in contaminating the pure arid fragrant air, careless whom he Annoys, and is but the fitting inmate of a tavern.

Smoking in the streets, or in a theatre is only practiced by shop-boys, pseudo-fashionables — and-the "SWELL MOB."

All songs that you may see written in praise of smoking in magazines or newspapers, or hear sung upon tne stage, are puffs, paid for by the proprietors of cigar divans and tobacco shops, to make their trade popular, — therefore, never believe nor be deluded by them.

'Chewing tobacco Is an abominable habit. One which has ascended to the better ranks in Africa from those "ancient mariners" who were the followers of the original settlers.  It is a custom, therefore, essentially vulgar — often lamented, indeed, by those unfortunate enough to practice it, who are without the strength of mind sufficient to discontinue it. The spitting consequent on chewing tobacco, has been made matter of grave comment, or of well-founded ridicule, by all foreigners who have visited the United States. It is, indeed, directly at variance with all the decencies of life. What an article is a spittoon as an appendage to a handsomely furnished drawing-room! What a nasty receptacle for a secretion entirely the result of an unnecessary practice!  Half the consumptions in America are brought on by people spitting up their lungs. Besides, how few men would like to "do the sentimental" to a lady given to "chaw"! Gentlemen, then, should reverse the case, and ask themselves whether ladies would not, at all times, give a preference to those who are not addicted to so disagreeable a practice.

In public places, too, only reflect on the offensive necessity of stepping over pools of brown spittle! or the still more disgusting task of wading through it! The first step towards becoming " gentlemen " is the abandonment of habits universally reprobated in civilized life.”

Never be seen in cigar divans or billiard rooms; they are frequented, at best, by an equivocal set. Nothing good can be gained there — and a man loses his respectability by being seen entering or of coming out of such places.

Those who have any brains never take snuff at all.

SNUFF

As snuff-taking is merely an idle, dirty habit, practised by stupid people in the unavailing endeavor to clear their stolid intellect, and is not a custom particularly offensive to their neighbors, it may be left to each individual taste as to whether it be continued or not. An " Elegant" cannot take much snuff without decidedly " losing caste."

" Doctor," said an old gentleman, who was an inveterate sriuff-taker, to a physician, " is it true that snuff destroys the olfactory nerves, clogs, and otherwise injures the brain ? " " It cannot be true," was the caustic reply, " since those who have any brains never take snuff at all.”  From George Rippey Stewart, 1895's, “Hints on etiquette and the usages of society with a glance at bad habits ; adapted to American society.” 

Smoking Etiquette

“In every class of life, in all professions and occupations, good manners are necessary to success. The business man has no stock-in-trade that pays him better than a good address. If the retail dealer wears his hat on his head in the presence of ladies who come to buy of him, if he does not see that the heavy door of his shop is opened and closed for them, if he seats himself in their presence, if he smokes a pipe or cigar, or has a chew of tobacco in his mouth, while talking with them, or is guilty of any of the small incivilities of life, they will not be apt to make his shop a rendezvous, no matter how attractive the goods he displays.

It is neither respectful nor polite to smoke in the presence of ladies, even though they have given permission, nor should a gentleman smoke in a room which ladies are in the habit of frequenting. In those homes when the husband is permitted to smoke in any room of the house, the sons will follow the father's example, and the air of the rooms becomes like that of a public house.” – From John H. Young, 1879's “Our Deportment / Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society.” 

On Smoking

“One must never smoke, nor even ask to smoke, in the company of the fair. If they know that in a few minutes you will be running off to your cigar, the fair will do well—say it is in a garden, or so—to allow you to bring it out and smoke it there. 

One must never smoke, again, in the streets; that is, in daylight. The deadly crime may be committed, like burglary, after dark, but not before. 

One must never smoke in a room inhabited at times by the ladies; thus, a well-bred man who has a wife or sisters, will not offer to smoke in the dining-room after dinner. 

One must never smoke in a public place, where ladies are or might be, for instance, a flower-show or promenade. 

One may smoke in a railway-carriage in spite of by-laws, if one has first obtained the consent of every one present; but if there be a lady there, though she give her consent, smoke not. In nine cases out of ten, she will give it from good nature. 

One must never smoke in a closed carriage; one may ask and obtain leave to smoke when returning from a pic-nic or expedition in an open carriage. 

One must never smoke in a theatre, on a race-course, nor in church. This last is not, perhaps, a needless caution. 

In the Belgian churches you see a placard announcing, ‘Ici on ne mâche pas du tabac.’ One must never smoke when anybody shows an objection to it. 

One must never smoke a pipe in the streets; one must never smoke at all in the coffee-room of a hotel. 

One must never smoke, without consent, in the presence of a clergyman, and one must never offer a cigar to any ecclesiastic.

But if you smoke, or if you are in the company of smokers, and are to wear your clothes in the presence of ladies afterwards, you must change them to smoke in. A host who asks you to smoke, will generally offer you an old coat for the purpose. You must also, after smoking, rinse the mouth well out, and, if possible, brush the teeth. 

You should never smoke in another person’s house without leave, and you should not ask leave to do so if there are ladies in the house. When you are going to smoke a cigar you should offer one at the same time to anybody present, if not a clergyman or a very old man. You should always smoke a cigar given to you, whether good or bad, and never make any remarks on its quality. – From Cecil B. Hartley's 1873, “The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness / Being a Complete Guide for a Gentleman's Conduct in all / his Relations Towards Society.”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia